AN:this story begins when Katniss and peeta are on the train home after the first games
"great job you two just keep it up in the district until the cameras are gone we should be ok" i watch him walk back to the train avoiding peeta's eyes
"what's he mean" peeta asks me
"haymitch told me to tell you that the capitol didn't like our trick with the berries and us and our families are in terrible danger if we can't pull it off. haymitch has been trying to coach me over the past few days on how to be more in love with you, but i keep on telling him i don't understand, how could i be more in love with you than i already am." i reply
"so let me get this straight" he blurts "the past few days and i guess all in the arena was just some strategy that you and haymitch worked out?!"
"no-no, no that's what haymitch thought it was he doesn't understand. he thought the star-crossed lovers thing was a strategy he made up but it wasnt. and he is having us be very careful because the people in the districts saw the berry thing as rebellion, and not how i saw it." i spit out
"well how did you see it" he asks a little tone of harshness in his voice
"i...i..i" im crying now "i just could imagine letting you die I'd rather die myself than live without you" i can't staunch the flow of tears streaming from my eyes
"i just love you so much" he pulls me close into a strong embrace "i love you too" he whispers into my hair. we stay like this until i'm all cried out and we start walking back to the train.
when we are just pulling into district 12 i'm so nervous i can't will myself to let go of peeta's strong hand that seems to steady everything. what will my family say? what will gale say? oh gale i wonder how he's taking the thing. he was never my boyfriend, but i just am praying this doesn't bother him. still that is too much to hope for. I must be really easy to read because peeta takes my chin to make me look at him
"hey, it'll be ok. he'll understand"
its like he can read my mind. im not into that ooey gooey 'soul mate' thing but i really think me and peeta are meant to be. he leans down and presses his warm steady lips against mine. bringing a sense of peace to me.
when we separate i look into his deep blue eyes that are so full of love and care.
we are interrupted by effie walking into the room.
"places places you two, we'll be in 12 in exactly 2 minutes." oh effie and her punctuality i stifle a small chuckle and walk to our place peeta's my hand in peeta's. we step out onto the station where we're greeted by a crowd of cheering people and cameras. i spot my mother and prim and the entire hawthorn family even gale in the crowd my heart swells when i see prim looking healthy and not under fed. a lone tear runs down my face and i look up at peeta and give a quick kiss on the cheek. we lift our entwined hands in a gesture of triumph, just like when we were on fire in our chariot before the games and i was convinced peeta was trying to kill me. now i love him more than i can express and i wish i could express it, but he's the one that's good with words i give his hand a tight squeeze i hope expresses what i cant with words.
the whole first month passes by in a flash. between parties and banquets and effie's schedule that is so tight i honestly think it chokes me, peeta and i never see each other off wasn't until the day that the camera crew along with effie (and her schedule) boarded the train and left district 12 until the victory tour that i could finaly breath. when i'm not in the woods i spend every moment with peeta. since neither of us has to work or go to school anymore our days are quite dull.
during the day i watch him bake and sketch and we talk we talk about everything except the games we've mostly tried to forget the games well the bad parts at least. the days are great but a night the nightmares are unbearable
one night i was at peeta's house i was sitting on the couch while he was dropping something off at haymitch's house and i must've fallen asleep because the next thing i knew i was on peeta's couch screaming and he was trying to calm me down as soon as i realized he was there i calmed down and started to cry into his shirt taken in his strong smell of cinnamon and dill undoubtedly from what he baked today
"shh katniss its ok it was just a dream" i've stopped crying but i stay in peeta's strong arms.
"h..how long was i out" i ask him
"i don't know but not too long, i came back from haymitch's house and saw you asleep on the couch i didn't want to wake you so i walked over to your mother's to tell her that you had crashed at my house, she said it was fine if you stayed here tonight. then opened the door and heard you screaming and you were thrashing all over." he looks worried
"i..i..im sorry" i say
"no no no its ok i get them too" he replies "really?" he nods
i nuzzle my self even closer to him and he rests his chin on my head. we end up migrating to peeta's room where i lay with my head on his chest and his arm protectivley around me we stay like this hoping no nightmares come and they don't.
i end up sleeping at peeta's every night at first my mother was skeptical but she heard me every night screaming somtimes she couldnt calm me down because peeta is the only one that can calm me down now. peeta doesn't mind in fact he loves it. once i asked him why i never knew when he has nightmares he said "my nightmares are usualy about losing you once i see that your here i calm down"
i nod and lean my head on his chest "mine are about losing you too" he kisses my head "i love you" "i love you too" we fall asleep like this and no night mares come
******tour day peeta's POV
i open my eyes expecting to see the ceiling of my bedroom but all i see is rock im back in the cave in the games i look around and see that katniss isn't here. i remember know, she gave me sleep syrup and went to go get the medicine. i begin crying and hyperventilating i use all my strength to stand up. i drag myself out of the cave into the darkness it looks like the sun just went down then i hear the anthem and look up into the sky and see a face flash by its cato then foxface followed by thresh then. no, no, its katniss i crumple to the ground and sob "it's all my fault she died for me" then i hear some rustling in the bushes its clove i stand up
"do it" she is about to throw the knife that will be my death-blow when she puts it down
"no i think im going to let you live with it" and flips the knife blade towards her and stabs herself in the heart
"NOOOOOOOO" i scream i open my eyes my heart is beating a mile a minute i look frantically around trying to figure out where i am and i realize it was just a dream. my heart instantly relaxes when i see katniss nuzzled into my chest i kiss her head and fall back asleep.
several hours later i wake up to find a note sitting next to me undoubtedly written in katniss's curly hand writing
went hunting see you when we leave xoxo
love you
- Katniss
i stand up and stretch my tired limbs. i glance at the clock 10:00 my eyes widen what katniss must've left around 2-3 hours ago i never sleep in late.i go take a shower and get dressed i throw some ingredents into a bowl and make some bread i glance at the clock again its 11:05. i better go get haymitch ready. i wrap up the bread and walk out of the house into the light snow flurries up to the door ready to turn the knob when i year a guttural animal sound and some minor conversation between katniss and our old mentor haymitch
"if you wanted to be babied you should have asked peeta!" katniss blurts at him
"ask me what" i say with a slight smile and cross over to the table i hold out my hand for haymitch to give me the knife. i smile at katniss and dowes the knife in white liquor. who knows where this knife has been.
"i asked you to wake me with out giving me nomina" haymitch spits at katniss.
katniss scowls at him "go take a bath haymitch!" katniss retorts.
"i just did" haymitch growls and slumps into the nearest chair. katniss scowls at him which makes me smile she walks over and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek i smile and countinue to slice the warm bread
"well aren't you two just adorable" haymitch scoffs i roll my eyes and hand him some bread he grudgingly takes it and shoves an enourmus bite into his mouth "would you like some bread love?" i ask katniss
"oh no thank you i ate at the hob" she says sweetly
"i've got to go make myself presentable for the prep team any way" she adds and gives me another quick kiss on the lips and exits the house.
"you've really opened her up you know" haymitch says he seems to have sobered up completely it always surprises me how he can go from a drunken mess one minute to a wise man the next i give him a small smile
"she used to be so self sufficient now she's letting people in more, mainly you and her mother" he adds
"well that was more the games than me" the smile disappears from both of our faces at the mention of the games
"when you almost loose everything that matters to you you stop taking it for granted" haymitch takes a long swig from a botte and i colappse into a chair accros from him.
"the nightmares do they ever go away" i blurt thinking back to last night haymitch sighs
"after i won the games i went home to my family and friends and my girl, but one by one they all disappeared due to random accidents"he makes quotes with his fingers
"thats when it got worse" i suddenly feel sorry for my old mentor and understand why he drowns all of his sorrows at the bottom of a bottle. we sit quietly for a while until someone burst through the door and im greeted by my prep team queenie, everol, and amethyst followed by Porsche my stylist all of them looking as crazy as ever engulf me in hugs and chatter. we head back to my house and they fix me up and when i'm finished porche puts me into large black coat and formal pant then adds another coat. haymitch sends me out the door when he gets the queue and as i step out the door of my house i see katniss stepping out of her house and walking towards me we meet in the middle and end up falling into the snow laughing we kiss and stand up
"so how have you two been" we hear ceasar say through the speaker
"we've been great we've never been closer" katniss says with a smile
"twelve yards to be exact" i add she laughs and so does caesar
"so tell me peeta are the rumors true katniss has moved in with you"
"well" i say
"i wouldn't say its official" katniss jumps him "but i do spend more time at his house than mine"and we all laugh
"so life has been good for you two "great" i say
"absolutely" katniss adds looking at me i smile at her and we both turn our attention back to the camera
"well that's just lovely we will be checking in with you two along your tour" Caesar says we bid our goodbyes and climb onto the train.
*AN: i'm just going to skip the tour and peeta does propose to katniss but not because the capitol says so because they are really in love
i wake up with katniss lying on my arm my chest pressed against her back and my other arm resting protectively over her. her breathing is slow and rhythmic. several minutes later her eyes flutter open and she turns to look at me her head resting on my lower arm
"morning beautiful" i say
"morning" she says with a smile and gives me a quick peck on the lips. we both roll out of bed and get dressed
"im gonna go make breakfast ok" i give her another peck on the lips
"ill be in the shower, see you in a few." i exit the bedroom and walk down the stairs to the kitchen where i prepare eggs,toast,bacon, and cheese buns which happen to be katniss's favorite. when breakfast is finished katniss comes down the stairs with her dark wet hair in her classic braide
"breakfast is served" i say with a very proper accent as i hand her a plate of food
"ohh thank you" she says with an eqiuly proper eccent and gives me another peck on the lips. while eating breakfast i ask her
"so what are you planning on doing today?" she thinks for a minute and says
"hmm i don't know maybe i'll go visit my mother than go into town and pick up some stuff." she smiles at me and continues "i could use some company."
"i would be honored" i say with a smile we finnish breakfast and katniss heads to her mother's house and i shower and get dressed. when im ready i walk over to her house and push open the door
"hello peeta" prim beams at me
"hi prim, is katniss still here?" i hear katniss's voice from the kitchen
"in here" i follow the voice to find katniss leaning against the table talking to her mother who is washing dishes
"you ready?" she asks me
"sure" i say
"see you two later" she beams we bid our goodbyes and are our way to the square when im pulled up short by a strange noise a whistling a sound of impact and an intake of breath from a crowd
"whats that" i ask katniss she hasnt seemed to notice she listens for a moment then shrugs we move at a bit of a faster pace because both of us can sense something is wrong when we reach the square there is a crowd of people and we cant see what is going on i stand up on a crate against the wall and i offer katniss a hand and scan the square my heart stops when i see it. its someone straped to a post by their wrists slumped over in uncounsiosness being whiped by a man in a head peacekeeper uniform but this is not smiling od cray this man's face is hard and cruel. then i relize that somone is gale. i need to get katniss out of here. shes half way up when i suddunly block her way
"get down get out of here" im whispering but my voice is harsh with insistance
"what?!" she says and tries to push her self back up
"go home katniss" i hiss " ill be there in a minute i swear" she yanks away from me and begins to pushg through the crowd i follow her and people begin protesting her and pushing her back but she pushes through and makes it to the clearing im too late and by the time i make it there she is ifron of him and the whip is coming down and hits her across the face "noo" she cries one hand cups her cheek while the other holds her up "stop it you'll kill him" she cries again the powerful arm lifts the whip its destination katniss im about to run forward and scream her name but someone beats me to it
"HOLD IT" haymitch barks he trips over darias on the ground a huge purple lump peeking out through his red hair. i run over to katniss now. haymitch and i pull katniss to her feet
"oh excellent" his hand under her chin lifting it "she has a photo shoot modeling wedding dresses next week what am i suppose to tell her sylist. katniss's face is covered by a scarf due to the cold her braid carelessly tucked into her fathers hunting jacket her face free of make up she wouldn't easily be identified as the victor of the 74 hunger games katniss everdeen the girl on fire, however haymitch has been showing up on television for years and he'd be hard to forget. the man rests the whip on his hip
"she interrupted the punishment of a confessed criminal." he in a commanding voice
"i dont care if she blew up the blasted justice building look at her cheek, think that will be camera ready in a week" haymitch snarls
"thats not my problem" he says in a cold but doubtful voice
"no well its about to be my friend, the first call i make when i get home is to the capitol" says haymitch "find out who authorized you to mess up my victors pretty little face"
"he was poaching what business is it of hers" says the man im still at katniss's side holding the arm not occupied by haymitch very gently
"hes her cousin" haymitch retorts
"and she my fiannce so if you want to get to him expect to go through both of us" I add gritting my teeth to not punch the man for hurting katniss. the man glancces behind him to see a peacekeeper woman who i belive knows katniss and gale from the hob the woman speaks
"i belive for the first offence the required number of lashes has been dispensed, unless your sentence is death which we would carry out by firing squad"
"is that the standard protocol here" asks the man
"yes sir" the woman answers and several other peacekeepers nod in agreement the man and the peacekeepers leave taking darius's limp body with them
"gale" katniss says turning to him and fumbling to untie the knots around his wrists. someone passes forwards a knife and I cuts the ropes. gale collapses to the ground
"better get him to your mother says haymitch to katniss. an old woman at the clothing store sells us the board that serves as her counter top
"just dont tell where you got it" she says packing up the rest of her goods quickly. we get some men to carry gale home i grab a corner while the others are occupied by some men that work with gale in the mines. katniss begins talking to a girl named leevy somthing about getting hezel and not letting her bring the grabs gales jacket and hurries after us "get some snow on that" haymitch orders katniss she obliges. bristle and tom some of gales mining friends peice together the story about how gale brought a turkey to cray's house knowing he likes turkey and instead found the new head peacekeeper romulus thread. he was whipped and by the time me and katniss showed up he had been whipped at least 40 times he passed out around 30
"lucky he only had the turkey on him if he had his usual hall it would've been much worse" says bristle
"he said he found it wandering around the seam and had killed it with a stick" adds tom "still a crime, but if they heard that he'd been in the woods with weapons they've killed him for sure"
"what about darius" i ask
"after about 20 lashes he stepped in saying that was a enough only he didn't do it smart and official like pernia" that must be the woman peacekeeper i think
"he grabbed thread's arm and thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip, nothin' good waitin' for him" says bristle
"doesn't sound like much good for any of us" says haymitch the snow begins thick and wet making it hard to see we stumble up the walk to the house followed by katniss. ms. everdeen takes in the scene as we carry gale into the house
"new head" haymitch says she gives him a curt nod of understanding she jumps into that zone katniss has explained to me where its just her the patient and occasionally prim. in moments the kitchen table is cleared and a sterol white cloth is spread across it and gale hoisted onto it does a bunch of stuff to try and treat gale's wounds. katniss is standing by gale watching her mother i'm next to her and i take her chin and look at her lash mark
"did it cut your eye" asks katniss
"no its just swelled shut" she answers
"get more snow on it" she instructs but katniss is clearly not the priority so she ignores her mother
"can you save him"she asks her mother she says nothing. though i dont ignore i grab a cloth from the drawer and walk over to the door and get the snow instructed katniss to put on her cheek
"don't worry" i hear haymitch say
"used to be a lot of wiping before cray shes the one we always took them to" i walk over to katniss and grab a stool to sit her in she sits as i press the cloth to her cheek ever so gently afraid to hurt her. cleans gales wound and i can see that katniss is going to throw up so i lay my hand on her trembling on and stroke it
"he'll be ok dont worry katniss" she nods and fights the tears haymitch tells bristle and tom to get home and presses coins into their hands
"don't know what will happen with your crew" he says they nod and accept the money. hezel arrives breathless and flushed snow in her hair wordlessly she sits on a stool next to the table and takes gale's hand and holds it against her lips. the rest of us wait eagerly to see if he'll be ok it takes a long time to clean the wounds arrange what skin can be saved apply a save and a light bandage as the blood clears i can see where every stroke on the lash landed. i look to katniss who seems horrified, no doubt she is multiplying her pain 40x. as is about to finish placing the bandages gale wakes up he moans hezel strokes his hair and whispers something to him while and prim search through their pain killers. they decide on a herbal concoction he can take by mouth
"that won't be enough" katniss blurts we stare at her
"that won't be enough i know how it feels that will barely knock out a headache"
"we'll combine it with sleep syrup and he'll manage it the herbs are more for the inflammation" begins calmly
"just give him the medicine! who are you any way to decide how much pain he can stand" katniss screams at her mother. gale begins stirring at her voice trying to reach her the movement causes fresh blood to stain his bandages and an awful sound to escape his mouth
"take her out" orders haymitch and i literally carry her out of the room while she shouts at her mother we pin her down on a bed in one of the extra bedrooms until she stops fighting she sobs into my chest for a long time tears trying to escape the slit of her eye i rub her back soothingly and whisper things like
"its ok he'll be ok, gales a fighter" this seems to calm her down a little bit i kiss her head and we sit like this until walks in and treats her cheek she holds the hand that is not wrapped around me her head on my shoulder her mother stroking her arm haymitch fills her in about what happened to gale
"so its starting again" she says "like before"
"by the looks of it" haymitch replies "who'd of thought we'd ever be sorry to see old cray go" cray was an object of loathing in the district because of his habit of luring starving women to his bed for some extra money. when the doorbell rings katniss shoots straight out of bed before we can stop her undoubtedly thinking its peacekeepers which it very well could be
"they can't have him" she says
"might be you there after" haymitch reminds her this pulls me up short she did interrupt a punishment i grab katniss's arm protectively
"or you" she shoots at haymitch
"not my house" haymitch remarks i go to open the door katniss still by my side. when we open it it's not a squad of peacekeepers but madge standing snow caked in the freezing air she holds out a small damp cardboard box to katniss who takes it curiously
"use this on your friend." she says katniss lifts up the lid of the box where 6 viles of clear lyquid sit
"they're my mother' she said i could take them, use them please" she runs back into the storm before we can thank her
"crazy girl" haymitch mutters as we follow ms. everdeen into the kitchen. whatever has given gale katniss was right it isnt enough he grits his teeth against the pain and he shines with sweat fills a syringe with the liquid from the vile and shoots it into his arm almost immediately his face relaxes.
"what is that stuff" i ask
"its from the capitol its called morphling" answers and it brings back a hazy memory from the capitol on the hovercraft after the games when i was about to lose my leg a doctor saying
"get him some morphling!" then feeling instant releif and the rest is black
"i didnt even know madge knew gale?" i ask
"we used to sell her strawberries" katniss says in a bit of a pained tone
"she must have quite a taste for them" haymitch teases implying that madge has a crush on gale.
katniss rolls her eyes "shes just my friend" she says casually but still worried. after gale drifts away on pain killers everyone seems to relax a bit. prim feeds us soup. and offers a room to hezel but she has to go home to the other kids. haymitch is willing to stay but sends him home. me and katniss end up in her old bedroom before she started living with me. we both sit awake half the night, katniss worrying about gale me worrying about katniss worrying about gale. i wake up to find katniss sitting up leaning against the headboard twiddling her thumbs anxiously she notices that i have woken up
"oh im sorry darling did i wake you." she says i sit up
"no no" i say "hows your cheek" i ask
"hurts like hell" she replies causally with a hint of a smile.
"come on" i say climbing out of bed we slept in our clothes last night because neither of us had any thing else, katniss's clothes are at my house or 'our house'. we walk downstairs and find that prim and are already awake prim is on the front porch gathering snow in a bowl i can see that the snowstorm has strengthened into a full out blizzard prim brings the bowl of snow to . i can see that the medicine is wearing off on gale by the look on his face
"can't you give him another shot" katniss says trying to keep her voice calm
"i will if it is needed i thought we'd try snow coat first" she replies a lot calmer than katniss when they remove the bandages you can practically see the heat radiating off his back she lays a clean cloth across his angry flesh and nods to prim she comes over mixing a bowl of snow that is tinted green with some kinds of herbs and gives off a clean scent so thats' snow coat as prim begins to ladle the stuff on top of the cloth katniss squeezes my hand in anticipation we can almost hear the sizzle of gale's tormented skin meeting the snow he looks shocked and confused for a minute then relief floods his face and he lets out a small sigh katniss's muscles loosen and so do mine
"its lucky we have snow" says
"what did you do in warm months" katniss asks face looks pained and she looks off into nothingness
"tried to keep the flies away" she says katniss squeezes my hand again and i give her a reassuring squeeze back gets back to work turning to prim still ladling the stuff onto gale she takes out a handkerchief and fills it with the snow coat i sit katniss down and hands me the handkerchief. i hold it onto katniss's cheek and bring her hand to my lips. a small but appreciated gesture. as soon as i hold the handkerchief to her cheek a sigh escapes her lips
"oh thats wonderful" she says "why didnt you put this on him last night"
"i needed the wound to set first" neither of us know what that means but if katniss is happy and not in pain im just fine.
"im sorry about screaming at you yesterday" katniss says to her mother remorse in her eyes
"ive seen worse you know how people are when someone they care about is in pain" she leans her head on my shoulder and realeses a sigh. now that gale in not in pain and sleeping again katniss speaks up
"i think me and peeta will run home and change, maybe check on haymitch" she says to her mother
"how does that sound love?" katniss asks me
"perfect" i reply with a smile
"ok well see you two soon" says we bid our goodbyes and run across the path to our house we shower and change. i grab some bread to bring to haymitch and we're out the door. i push open haymitch's door breacing myself for the smell of old lyquior and vomit. when we walk in we find haymitch dead drunk on the couch.
"should we wake him" katniss asks me
"nahh let him sleep" i reply waving it off with my hand i lay the bread down on a clean spot on the table. then me and katniss build up his fire
in the next few days gale gets better and katniss's eye heals we spend the day at her mother and prims house than at night go back to ours. i really love having katniss and i live together. i still can't believe that i'm actually marrying her. if i were to go back to the peeta a week before the reaping and tell him that within a year him and katniss everdeen would be married he wouldn't believe it. in a few days the victor's village is shoveled out and it takes some time to shovel out the path to the square but when its cleared me and katniss decide to go get some supplies for gale and drag haymitch along promising him a trip to the hob for some white liquor nothing much will happen with the weather that what we thought. boy were we wrong.