Fix You: Inspired by the song of the same title by Coldplay. Mmm, serious. I've never written Roxas or AU before, forgive me. Started on May 30, 2007.

Sorry if the characters are… out of character. Random snippets from songs galore.

The wind was cold on my face. The bridge was long. The city smelled worse than it had in years. What more was there to say? It's a damn cold night. I pulled my jacket closer to my body and shivered briefly. Since when was San Francisco this cold in October? Global warming. The thought made me scoff. While I walked, I dragged my hand along the cold handrails and looked over the edge at the Pacific Ocean.

"That's some… black water…" I said and then looked back in front of me.

"Well it would be at one in the morning," said a voice in my head, and Axel's face came into view through a memory. I shook my head. The past was past was passed. "Aww, c'mon kiddo. Don't ignore me."

I stopped and turned to my right, looking out over the water again and then leaning on the rail. "Don't bring back the past… and I won't ignore you." With that his face left me.

x.x.x

"You know, you shouldn't act so morose all the time. Life's never going to get better, just do what you can with it," she said. I looked over at her. She wore a smile, but her eyes were sad. Only sad because you see me.

I leaned back in the tall grass, putting my hands behind my head, and looked up, through the changing leaves, at the little patches of light shining between them. "Well… I can't help it. There's nothing good about life… It's just all shit. You know?" I questioned, looking over at Naminé's face again. She shook her head, the sun lighting off her hair, making it look an even lighter blonde where it shone.

"No, I don't. Maybe I'm just a born optimist, but I really don't see the point in moping around all the time, like you do," replied the girl, shrugging and then lying down also. "Maybe, you should go home. Instead of running away from everything. Maybe I'm wrong, but coming with Axel, all the way out here, I think it was a bad idea. Do you know?" Out of the corner of my eye I saw Naminé look over at me. Most likely, she was smiling, too, I just didn't return the gaze.

"Actually, I don't. Foster parents? No, that's not my home. I don't have a home, that's why I'm here… At Axel's home."

"Second… home," she said, and I could tell from her voice that she was frowning. "It's not a home. His father isn't a father. He's just a man that hands money and cigarettes out to his son… so that he won't tell his new wife about whoever he's sleeping around with."

I ripped some grass out of the ground and tossed it into the air. "It's still a home." Watching the grass fall back down to the earth, scattering over my body, I sighed. "His mother's a drunk anyways. This is better. He's happier here, I'm happier he-"

"No… You pretend like you're happier, but you're not. You both do it."

I snorted. "Ooo, you think you know me so well, don't you?"

"I don't have to think I know, you make it too obvious." She shifted positions in the grass.

A breeze blew over us and I shivered. "September never stays this cold where I come from, and you know, I'm not one for complaining," I said, in an attempt to divert the subject while making light of what she was saying.

Instead, she turned on her side to look at me. "I know. It's because you close yourself up so much, hardly ever saying anything, even if it would just be a complaint, and you never let anyone in, even when they want in."

"It's better that way…" I mumbled.

"If you say so." Naminé lifted herself up and began walking down the hill, away from the tree; I sat up and watched her. "I'm going. Call me… if you want to hang out again. We'll have fun next time, if you're still around… or if you don't change your mind sometime soon." With that, she turned around. The wind blew under her dress and lifted it up a bit as she walked away. I watched, just like every other time I'd been out there, and then leaned back onto the grass, looking up into the branches of the tree again.

x.x.x

A cool burst of wind brought me back to the present. I must have brought Illinois with me… if it's going to be this cold out. I leaned on the railing of the Golden Gate Bridge, again looking out over the black water.

And I thought.

x.x.x

Axel was sitting outside on his porch, smoking a cigarette and watching the sunset, when I arrived. He looked up and gave me that sly, almost-happy smile he would one day be famous for., and then blew smoke out of his mouth. "How are ya?"

I shrugged in response. "Not bad, not good. Mediocre," I said, sitting down next to him. Offering me a smoke, he took a drag on his own, and I turned him down. "You know I don't smoke."

"Well, hey man, you're the one that's always acting so depressed. Figured I'd just try and help ya die faster." He laughed a little, but without mirth. "Sooooo… how are you and Naminé? You guys fin'ly dating?"

"No. We're just friends, the same as you and her," I said, glaring dulled daggers at my friend. He wasn't smiling enough. "Hey… what's wrong with you? Your jokes and laughing seem only half-hearted tonight? Didjer dad cut off your cash flow, or something'?"

He half-smiled and looked at me out of the corner of his eye, then focused back on the sunset. "Nah… nothin' serious like that. It's stupid, ya know?" He inhaled the last of the smoke from his cigarette, then flicked the butt into the grass and exhaled. "Somethin' I told myself I'd never do. Ya know? After all the parties I've gone to and the sex and all that shit, ya'd think I wouldn't get attached to nothin', right? That I wouldn't have the heart?" I nodded. "Heh, great friend you are," and he laughed.

"Hey, I'm just agreeing," I replied, smiling a little.

Axel shrugged. "Yeah, but whatever. Anyways, the point I'm gettin' at…" he sighed. "What I'm gettin' at is… this… girl? Hey, hey! Stop yer giggling! At least I want somebody in my life." A habit he's had since I've known him is running his fingers through his hair, which is what he started doing just then. "Eh, anyways. Yeah! There's a girl, and I know it's stupid and everything, but whatever. Anyways, her name's Larxene. She's blonde--dyed blonde, actually--some rocker chick, and, well, she works at one of the restaurants in the city. And she's got a real bad attitude, and I think… I might be in love." I burst into hysterical laughter, causing him to glare at me. "Hey! It's not funny! Maybe if you took down yer damned walls once in a while you'd love too!"

I calmed down. "But Axel, you told me, last month, on the way here, when I asked about your old girlfriend, you told me that you didn't believe in love, just sex."

"Well… I've changed," he said defiantly and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You haven't changed. No, you're just thinking with the wrong head."

For a moment he was quiet and there was a thick silence, then he also began to laugh hysterically. "Okay, okay, Roxas. That might be true, but she definitely is damn hot." We sat in silence for a minute or two.

"You haven't talked to her, have you?"

"Nope, just admirin' her figure from afar. Probly never will talk to her, but, hey, I'm the best that she'll never have, is what I'm sayin'. So, how 'bout you and Naminé? I was serious earlier when I asked about you two."

"Nothin', of course." Lighting up another cigarette, he stared at the deepening sunset. "You're going to kill yourself, ya know?"

He smiled, his first real, genuine smile of the evening. "Yeah, I know. But, hey, live fast, die young. That's a saying I live by."

x.x.x

Live fast, die young, eh? "Just how fast are we talking?" I asked myself as I watched the water, slosh back forth under the bridge. You took me back to California pretty fast when I asked. Is that living fast?

x.x.x

"If I jumped… do you think I really would break anything?" I asked, apathetically, while staring at the ground through half-closed eyes. We were sitting on the roof of Naminé's house, eating lunch. Her parents weren't home, otherwise we wouldn't have been up there. Some rule about 'not being allowed on the roof, due to possibility of breaking one's neck.' Something her mother said once.

Looking over at me from where she was sitting, I could almost see Naminé's eyes widen in my mind's eye. "From a height of two stories? Yes, I do believe you would break something. At least an ankle, depending on how you landed."

I nodded assent, "I guess you're right…" I picked up one of the chicken sandwiches we had brought up on a plate and began eating it, takings sips of my cola in between bites. A few minutes of quiet began while we ate our lunch.

"Too bad things like this don't last forever."

I looked over at her. "Things like what?" I asked, in the process of chewing a bite of my sandwich.

"Like this," she replied, spreading her arms to show her meaning. "You know, friends, hanging out, relaxing."

"And having fun?"

Naminé dropped her eyes. "Not having fun, not really. We haven't had real fun the whole time you've been here, this time."

"I've had fun, even if you haven't. Besides, who says this kinda stuff can't last forever?" I asked her, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"No one, really. Everything is pointing against it, though. You're going home. You have to," she informed me, without expression on her face.

"Actually, I don't. And nothing could make me go back, anyways. I hate it there." I took a drink of my soda. "I hate the city, and I hate that stupid box they call a house. It's much better out here, outside of a city, where I can see actual greens," and I pointed at the grassy field, with the hill we sometimes sat on, surrounding her house.

There was a silence for a moment or two, in which we both ate bits of our lunch, and then she looked over at me, inquisitively. "But what about Axel's dad, and step mom? Don't they mind you being here?"

I scoffed. "Them? No way. His dad's too busy 'doing work' at his office, and his step mom is too occupied watching Oprah and The View and all her other stupid women's shows to care." Before continuing, I shrugged and then took another drink of my soda. "Besides, his house is big enough for us to be at one end doing shit in his room and the guest rooms, or in the basement, and for his step mom or whoever to be in the other end of the house without noticing that we're there. Win-win situation, I call it."

"You should at least call hom-"

"It's not my home."

Naminé cleared her throat and began again. "Well, you should at least call your house this week, let your foster parents know how you're doing. Okay?"

"Maybe…"

She looked at me, and then towards a black convertible sportscar coming down her long dirt driveway, and then she smiled, a small, true smile. "It's okay, Roxas. You'll go home. Lights will guide you home."

I quirked an eyebrow and gave her a questioning look. "Lights?"

Turning her head to face me, she smiled and nodded. "Yes, lights. Taillights on the interstate, the glow of your own headlights on backroads, and then streetlights, when you get back to California, and San Francisco." She said the last part while standing up, to wave at the almost-adult getting out of the car.

"Hey guys," Axel called, while running his left hand through his hair, and waving with his right. Then he stopped in mid-wave and smiled slyly. "But, waidaminute… Wasn't there some rule 'bout not bein allowed on the roof?"

"My parents decided it wasn't a very good rule, after Roxas jumped off the roof and didn't actually break anything, due to him landing on his hard head."

I looked over at Naminé and glared. "You're not funny."

x.x.x

My thoughts were racing. Does living fast count when it's just your mind going out of control? What ruined it? That afternoon on the rooftop? The sound of a honking horn brought me back to reality. I began walking again, but with a heavy heart.

And I didn't get more than twenty steps before I almost tripped over a hunched over, lonely figure, sitting against the rail of the bridge. "Fucking bums…" I mumbled under my breath, a few paces down the walk. Then I stopped and looked back at the sleeping body. "O wait… that's me now." I smiled sadly and kept walking.

x.x.x

Naminé was sitting on the hill, underneath the tree, our favorite hangout, holding her legs close to her body and thinking and frowning. The chill of October's coming had already changed the leaves that littered the ground where she sat. As I walked up the hill to sit beside her, she lifted her head up a bit and followed me with her eyes.

And so passed a few moments of quiet. Myself laying in the grass next to her, sitting, resting her chin on her knees.

"Did you call home?"

I closed my eyes. "Sure."

She sighed. "You're an ass."

I rolled onto my side so I could look at her, propping my head up with my right forearm. "It's not as if it would do anything. They'd probably just say to stay there and that I'm not wanted because they got a new kid living there, to help them get money from the government. You know they don't give a shit about me," I said, spreading my left hand out in front of me.

"As if you even know. You're so oblivious to everything." The way she said 'oblivious' was beautiful. Out of all the ways I've heard it said on my travels with Axel across the country, I always preferred the Midwestern accent, saying it as 'uhblivious'. Not 'ohblivious' or 'obliveeous'. That completely drew me away from what she was saying. Hearing it, but not listening. "How would you know if they cared about you or not? You don't pay attention to the way others act. You don't take hints that people care! Because you're too damn self-concerned." She paused in her rant. "You're not even listening."

"Was to…" I mumbled in response, not really caring about what she said exactly.

"You never listen. I tell you things, I try to help, I give advice… I waste my time," she said, looking over at me with glossy eyes. "And you just help me do it."

"I'd rather waste my time with you, if that means anything at all… And all the times before, you enjoyed wasting your time with me."

"It doesn't mean much… And, no… I was always sad. At least this time you came back." Naminé stood up and kicked leaves in my face. "Go back home. I don't want you here."

"What?"

"Your life doesn't suck. You have foster parents; who the Hell cares? They're not that bad. I've seen your house, I've visited your family. You're such a cliché," she said, glancing down at me from where she stood.

"And how do you figure that? A cliché? How?"

"You're just like every other depressed, apathetic teenager. You don't have real problems." She stopped and stared down at me for a few moments, frowning. "I tried helping you. I tried to fix you… I really do like you, when you're not like this… Just stop acting so goddamned pathetic all the time!"

I perked up at the weight of the cuss. Naminé never cussed like that unless she was incredibly pissed off. Apparently she was, and it was my fault. Shit… I caused this entire situation… "But… I… don't?"

Rolling her eyes, she tossed her hands in the air and then planted them on her hips. "Come on, Roxas. Who really wants a life of lost adolescence that's filled with regrets and anti-depressants?" I smiled, on the inside, about her accidental rhyme. "You act like you need pills or something to make you feel better. I don't want that for you. Just be happy. Just try to be happy. Live like you're dying, or whatever the saying is! Just stop acting like your sadness is all that matters! Stop going to others to try and make you feel better…" she said, with a hint to sadness evident in her voice.

"I don't do that… though," I said slowly, knowing I was lying.

"Yeah, you do. Why do you always come to me, when you're feeling like shit?" I didn't say anything, but kept my mouth shut and continued looking up at her. "Uh huh… that's what I thought, too. Go home. Get the Hell outta here, go back to your family. Let them know you're okay, and not dead or something like that. Just leave," she said, pointing to the sun that was beginning to set in the west.

She turned around after a moment and stared at the sun lighting the clouds. I stood and put my hand on her shoulder, having it shrugged off in return. "But I just want to be here… with you?"

"It's too late for that, you jackass," she snarled, turning her head to glare at me. The way the light hit her face, turning it orange in the lightest places, made her look just as poisonous as she sounded. "I wanted that before, but no longer. Not someone that can leave problems so easily." Naminé gave me one last look before beginning to stomp down the hill, and then turned around. "No, ya know what. You can stay here tonight, or maybe forever, but eventually… eventually you'll want to go back. The guilt will make you want to go. I won't say goodbye anymore. When you leave… don't come back." She was shaking her head slowly, tears or rage, frustration, or sadness, maybe all three, beginning to spill from her eyes. "Goodbye Roxas… don't call me."

The girl that I'd known since I first visited Axel's dad's house walked down the hill. Out of my reach. And all I cared about was that it was my fault.

x.x.x

I was a bit more than halfway over the bridge when I saw the light out on the water. A boat of some kind, miles away, but still there. Visible… due to the lights on it. I stopped walking and looked over the water again.

x.x.x

When I had finally left the hill, and gotten back to Axel's house, I found him sitting on the step of his porch, smoking a cigarette, like always. The sun's last light made his hair look even more red. He studied me carefully as I walked up the driveway to where he sat, keeping my head down the entire time and avoiding eye contact.

He offered me a cigarette and I took it. "Thought ya didn't smoke?"

I let him light it for me and then began to smoke it. "I don't."

We sat in, what would have been, silence for a few minutes, watching the sunset like so many other times. Instead of silence, however, Axel's parents were fighting inside the house. Typical. "Ya ready ta leave?"

"Definitely," and I exhaled smoke from my lungs.

"Cool. Le'ss go get our things. We'll have to go in through the back, so we don't interrupt their fight. God knows I wouldn't wanna do that," he said sarcastically. The two of us finished our cigarettes and walked around to the back of his house, entering inside. I realized that, when I told Naminé that someone at one end of the house wouldn't notice what was gong on at the other end, I was wrong. I heard the yells and the thrown objects hitting walls every two minutes or so. I guess the step mom found out about the lover(s).

Without saying a word, we each packed our own bags. I taking all my belongings out of the guest room I had been staying in, and Axel taking anything he felt like taking, including money from his father's room. "'Kay, le'ss go," he said, exiting the room and tossing his keys up in the air, catching them on their descent downward. I adjusted my backpack so it sat comfortably onto my back, carrying my duffle at my side, and followed him through the back, and to his car.

We both got in the car, tossing our bags into the backseat first, and then settling ourselves into the seats. As Axel turned the car on, the radio began blaring the chorus of a familiar song. "…nto the great wide open, under them skies of blue. Out in the great wide open, a rebel without a clue…"

"Hey, Roxaaaaas! It's your theme song. 'Rebel without a clue,' that's you," Axel said snarkily. I just gave him a "You're An Idiot" look as he shifted the car into gear, turning the volume down, but allowing the song of our youth play quietly in the background of the drive. As we went by the driveway to Naminé's house, Axel slowed down and I asked what in the unholy living Hell he was doing. In return, he looked at me and then understood.

"O… you already said goodbye, then?" I didn't reply. "I get it, I get it. Just drive, then, eh? Just drive, Axel, right?"

"Yeah… let's just get back to California as fast as possible."

With that, Axel lit up a cigarette and sped up. "Can do," he said, placing the end to his lip. "Can definitely do."

x.x.x

Too bad coming back to San Francisco was a lot harder than leaving it was… Foster parents kicked me out… Well that would happen if you've been gone for over two months. Axel went back to Illinois… funny shit. I studied the boat out in the water, leaning on the handrail again. The lights on it, the reds, the whites, the yellows; such a pretty sight from where I was standing. I walked down to where one of the supports connected with the bridge and looked up it, and then down again at the water and out to the boat and it's lights.

Everything for me was gone. I didn't have a home to go to. My best friend, the one that I counted on most, went back to Illinois… because his mother, who he had no respect for, tried to put a leash on him at the end of his adolescence. Bad idea. I realized I wanted something far too late. Too late to be forgiven.

'Lights will guide you home,' is what she said. Look… lights… I figured that I caused it all. All of it. If I hadn't wanted to leave, Axel would have stayed home… Naminé wouldn't hate me… I wouldn't hate me.

But I guess… this is what living like this does… I thought, as I hoisted myself up onto the handrail, holding onto the support beam. Looking at the lights of the boat, I thought of Naminé again, and what she said. 'Lights will guide you home.'

Such a simple phrase. Maybe I took it to literally. I jumped.

x.x.x

The afternoon on the rooftop with them was the last thing that crossed my mind.

x.x.x

The End.

Boy, howdy. That took forever, and it's only seven and half pages in ten point font on Word; however, it's the longest one-shot I've written. I guess it was the attempt to successfully make an AU that: made sense, held closely to how the characters were shown in the game, and did not accidentally end up funny. Because it was supposed to be serious, why end up funny? Of course, the first conversation with Axel and him being in LURVE is kind of amusing, to me. Because, ya gotta understand, teenagers think they're in love when they're not, so I worked that into the story.

To clarify, yes, I made Axel a teenager, he was seventeen. Roxas and Naminé were both sixteen. Not that those little points matter, but still.

Yes, little bits from songs were in there. The bands I borrowed from (in order of appearance) are Avril Lavigne xD xD, Taking Back Sunday, Bowling For Soup, Coldplay (haha), The Used, JamisonParker, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Taking Back Sunday (again), and more Coldplay. I may have missed one or two, but whatever.

The thing about "taking it too literally" was talking about going home, as in back to one's eternal home. Yeah.

Well, I hope this wasn't too bad, as my first attempt at a serious AU fic. I think it's kinda crappy, but that's just me. 'Kay, thanks for reading. :D