Crash
Chapter One
Zebraboymom
Disclaimer: Not mine. Breaks my heart.
Author Notes: What if Steve hadn't escaped the car crash with just a few broken ribs. What if he sustained a traumatic brain injury? I am doing heavy research for this story, but those of you in the medical profession please cut me some slack. Okay? Pretty please? This first chapter is kind of long, but I couldn't find a place to cut it and still lay the groundwork for the story.
It was like watching something in slow motion. Steve chased Vonokov across an intersection just as a car passed. Kono and Lori were right behind them. The car came out of nowhere. Steve didn't stand a chance. Kono and Lori watched in horror as he flew over the hood and landed on the windshield cracking it. The car screeched to a halt and both bodies rolled over the car and on to the ground in crumpled heaps.
Lori was out of the van screaming Steve's name before Kono could put it in park. She collapsed on the pavement next to him. Kono stood by helplessly as tears burned her eyes. She wanted to take care of Steve, but instead had to watch Lori ride in the ambulance with him.
Following them to the hospital in the van, Kono broke about ten traffic laws, but she didn't care. This was Steve. He was family. She would do anything for him. His smile was all the reward she ever needed. Right now her heart was beating out of her chest. She knew he was badly hurt, but she was confident he would be fine. He had to be. She couldn't imagine her life without him in it.
All four team members gathered together in the waiting room as Steve was taken away. His eyes were closed and Kono sent a prayer up that he would open them for just a minute, but he was wept away as she squeezed his shoulder. They had to pull Lori off of him and Kono helped her find a seat.
Hours went by with no word. This couldn't be good. Lori finally cried herself to sleep and Danny sat with her. Kono, on the other hand, was like a caged animal. She prowled the waiting area while Chin sat frozen in place. His eyes drifted shut and she saw a tear form at the corner and spill out. Malia finally came down from her floor and sat with him. She checked periodically for news, but had only found out a couple of neurosurgeons were doing the surgery.
The governor came and talked to each of them about what happened, but Kono was unable to focus on anything but the door leading to the surgical suites. It was obvious Lori's discussion with the governor wasn't going well and her eyes were red and watery when he left. Kono needed to know something soon. Her skin felt like it was crawling. Every nerve was on end. Just as she thought she was going to scream out loud the doors opened.
The team stood and waited for the surgeons to approach them. Three of them walked out, their faces devoid of emotion.
"Family of Steve McGarrett?"
Their voices were in unison.
"Yes."
"Mr. McGarrett…"
"Commander McGarrett."
"Sorry. Commander McGarrett suffered a traumatic brain injury. He is currently in a coma. We had to do surgery to reduce swelling as he was bleeding in his brain. He has broken ribs and a gash on his head took some stitches. Amazingly he didn't break anything else. We have to warn you though not to get your hopes up. Even though he made it through the surgery, he may not survive the night."
Kono refused to accept that.
"But if he does?"
"The longer he stays in a coma, the worse the trauma to his brain was. If he comes out of the coma soon, it will mean there is less damage, but I need you to prepare for the worse. He will probably never be the same man you once knew."
Danny was in shock. This couldn't be true. There was no way Steve wouldn't come out of this.
"What are we talking about here?"
"Fortunately the damage wasn't to the frontal lobes. That would mean a more severe destruction of his personality. As it is, he will probably have to learn to both walk and talk all over again. His memory could be affected and he might not know you when he wakes up."
The sound of Lori bawling caused them all to turn to her. Danny tried to comfort her.
"Calm down Lori and let's wait and see."
Another of the surgeons kept talking as Danny snaked his arm around the hysterical woman's waist.
Kono tried to appear calm, but inside her mind and heart were screaming. Chin noticed her trembling slightly and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"After he's awake and we assess his functions, we can make a plan for his recovery. Right now it's wait and see."
"Understood. Thank you Doctor."
"You're welcome. I just wish I had better news. He obviously meant a lot to you all."
Kono corrected him.
"Means a lot."
"Right. Of course. He'll be in ICU for some time. Once he's released from the hospital he's going to need rehab. Fortunately there's a facility here in Honolulu that has an excellent reputation. It's The Rehabilitation Hospital of the Pacific. He can get started there as soon as he's out of the woods. The best scenario is for him to be inpatient for a while and then as he improves to go home and have outpatient therapy. Does he have family that can take care of him? He'll need 24 hour care for a long time. Does he have someone here in Hawaii who can stay with him?"
They all stood looking at each other. The news was hitting everyone hard. Steve wasn't going to just wake up and walk out of the hospital like he had so many times before. This was a scenario they had never planned on with him. He was Super SEAL. Kono's eyes filled up with tears.
"Well, talk it over between yourselves and we can set a plan in motion after we see if he wakes up."
Again Kono corrected him.
"When he wakes up."
Chin, Danny and Lori looked at her.
"Commander McGarrett will be out of recovery soon and you can see him. They only allow one person in at a time. I must prepare you all for what you will see. He's had surgery to reduce the pressure on his brain and his bruises and the swelling make him look a little like Frankenstein right now."
Another surgeon spoke to them.
"Feel free to talk to him. He may be able to hear you even though he may not respond to you."
"Do you have any questions?"
Kono swiped angrily at the tears that were starting to fall and tapped her foot restlessly.
"Can someone stay with him overnight?"
"I think that can be arranged."
"I'm staying then."
Chin looked sideways at his cousin as she straightened to her full height, daring anyone to argue.
"Honey, don't you think you should go home and get some rest, maybe clean up and eat something?"
The death stare she shot him shut him up. And he dropped his arm from her shoulder.
One of the surgeons cleared his throat and tried to hide a smile. This young woman was not to be messed with.
"I'll set that up with the nurses."
Lori spoke up as the doctors took their leave.
"Maybe I should go in first. I…I have to say good-bye."
"What?"
"The governor is letting me go. He asked me to choose sides and I said both. He didn't particularly care for that answer. So, it looks like I'm heading back east. I feel so bad leaving you guys like this, especially with Steve…"
A sob bubbled out of her throat. The team wrapped her up in a hug and they all stood in the now empty corridor unwilling to accept the news or the changes that were about to take place with the team. The next hour they sat together waiting as they exchanged information, so Lori could stay updated about Steve.
"I never got a chance to tell him how I felt."
"He knew Lori."
"Yeah, but he never felt the same way."
"He never returned my feelings completely either."
Four heads turned to find Catherine standing there in her uniform.
Lori turned four shades of red.
"I'm shipping out again, but I wanted to come say good-bye. I had no idea his injuries were so severe until the nurses told me that he was in ICU. It's bad isn't it?"
Kono nodded and held her eyes in sympathy. As she sat with them, the team filled her in on Steve's prognosis.
"I…I want to stay, but I have orders to report today in two hours. I'll be at sea for at least six months. Please keep me up on what's going on. Would you? We agreed that we would see other people from now on, but I still want to know how he's doing. Okay?"
Everyone agreed and more information was exchanged, then Catherine stood up.
"I wish things had been different between us. I know he felt connected to me, but he wasn't in love with me, you know?"
Kono was surprised by Catherine's admission. As far as she could see, the two had seemed happy. It killed her to watch them, but they seemed really happy together and she just assumed Steve was in love with her.
One of the nurses approached them and said they could each have five minutes.
Catherine went first and then Lori. Kono wondered what each of the women had said to him. They both had tears in their eyes when they came out. Hugs were passed all around and then the three of them were left alone together again.
Chin went next while Danny and Kono sat together. When he returned he was shaking his head.
"He doesn't look much like himself right now guys."
Kono felt her anger rising again.
"But he's in there somewhere. We can't give up on him."
"Relax Cuz. I'm not giving up on him. I just wanted to prepare both of you. I know you both love him. I do too."
Danny nodded and went next. He was a mess when he came back and Kono was terrified about what she was about to see. He hugged her tightly before he let her go in.
"He's…he's…"
"I know Danny. I know."
Kono hesitated at the door to his room and straightened her shoulders. She pushed the door open and was immediately shocked by what she saw. Steve was hooked up to several machines and his head was bandaged and set in a brace. His eyes were swollen shut and the bruising all over his face had become bright purples and reds. He looked so weak in that moment that she caught her breath. Once she softly let the air flow again her heart sped up and she could feel her chest getting tight.
Crossing to his side she reached for his hand. It was warm and she sighed in relief. He was alive. This was the only indication that the monster in front of her was still in her world. She just closed her eyes and held his hand and pictured him smiling at her during the governor's auction. He had looked so debonair in his tux. Without warning a sob escaped her throat.
She sat on the side of his bed and cradled his hand in her lap. She opened his palm and ran her fingers over and over it as she talked. As soon as she saw him a few moments ago she knew what she was going to do. In truth, she had known it from the moment the surgeons came and told them he survived the surgery and what his recovery was going to be like.
This man had given her life back to her by bringing her on the team after her surfing career ended. Back then she didn't think her life would ever matter again. He had taught her it did. Now she was going to pay him back and it wasn't out of pity or loyalty or debt, but out of a deep love for him that she was only now beginning to understand.
The whole time she had been waiting for the doctors, she had been devising what she would do if this were the outcome of today. She had total peace about it. Never in her whole life had she ever shrunk back from a challenge and she wasn't going to this time either.
"Steve, I need you to listen to me. You have to come back to us. All of us are waiting for you. We need you Steve…I need you. I need you to get better. If you can just open your eyes we can figure everything else out from there. I promise you, Steve. I am not leaving your side. I will be with you through this…whatever it turns out to be. I love you Steve and even though I don't think you know that right now, I think you can feel it. Hang on to that for me, okay? I'm going to say good-bye to the guys and I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere, okay?"
Kono thought maybe humor would be the right way to go. That's if tears weren't pouring down her face right now. She wiped them away and put on a brave face as she prepared to tell the guys her plan. She lifted Steve's hand and kissed it gently before tucking it back under the sheets. Her hand reached up and pushed a curl off his forehead. He had never looked so vulnerable and her heart swelled as she looked at him.
"You never even thought twice about it when you ran into that street. You were so focused. Hang onto that Steve. You're going to need it for the journey we have ahead."
Once again she squared her shoulders and pushed the door open into the hallway.
"Kono, are you crazy? You can't give up everything you've worked so hard to get for Steve? You're young and you have your whole life ahead of you. There's no guarantee he will ever be the same again. I won't let you do this."
Danny looked back and forth between his two friends as they argued with each other.
"Chin I love you, but I never explained to you how I feel. I have loved Steve for almost two years now. I never told him because he didn't seem to be interested in me. This is my chance to show him. When I left surfing I went into law enforcement so I could make a difference. Taking care of Steve will mean so much more to me than Five-0. I can honestly say that I'm making a long-term difference in someone's life. It just so happens he's worth it and he deserves it. Not to mention I love him no matter what state he's in."
"But how will you get by? You can't work. He's a 24 hour a day responsibility."
"I'm selling my house. It's worth almost a million dollars. Steve will have total health care and disability. We won't have to worry about money at all. His parent's house is paid off, so all we will have is utilities and food."
"You've really thought this through."
"I have. You have no idea how far I've thought it through. This isn't some decision on a whim."
"Kono, what if he never loves you back. Can you live with that?"
"It's okay. I can love him enough for both of us. Don't you get it? It isn't about me. It's about him."
Danny looked at Chin as he stared at Kono.
"You know we will help you, right? We're Ohana and whether you're in Five-0 or not, we have your back."
Kono hugged him and then Chin. Both men held her for longer than necessary. She amazed both of them with her strength and conviction.
Two days later Kono handed her badge in to the governor.
"I have to say Officer Kalakaua, I'm stunned. Are you sure about this?"
"Very sure."
"I want you to know that if you ever want to come back there is a place for you. McGarrett spoke very highly of you and Fryer speaks of you often, wishing he could steal you away from Five-0. Take care of Steve and if you need anything, don't hesitate to let me know. Do you understand?"
"Thank you governor. I do."
Kono walked out of HQ into the sunshine with a huge smile on her face. She could do this.
A/N: So I'm thinking this is like Regarding Henry, one of my favorite movies, but I'm not planning to mirror it. This is a stretch for me, as I don't know a lot about this kind of trauma. My updates may be a little slower than usual as I do research for each piece, but I promise there will be fluff and angst. Okay, off we go.