A Family Problem

WARNING: M for incest, threesome (sort of), twisted minds at work, language, lemons, oranges, grapefruit, and the whole gamut of vitamin-C rich fruits.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my OC.

A/N: My first ever PWP/SMUT fic! Inspired by a late-night bad horror movie marathon session with my best buddy (he rolls his eyes upon reading this). Tell me if you enjoyed it… reading, of course, not the other thing you do when you read smut. This will be a two-shot. Anyway, don't forget to review after washing your hands, of course :P Kidding.

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"Come on, Chris, just once! I'll be gone before the sun comes up! Pleeeease!"

"No, Chelsea! What were you thinking? What would mom say? You're barely 17 –"

"I'm 18 next week, Chris!"

"No, this is my apartment, I'm saying no! End of discussion!" Chris practically screamed. No, it was never good to scream –that would put a strain on his vocal chords. He was usually a picture of calm –serene and peaceful –but not when he's with his almost 18-year old sister, Chelsea. Chris felt a terrible headache coming on. He closed his eyes. The whole thing started when he had found Chelsea outside the door of his loft that he shared with his boyfriend, Darren. Chelsea had just decided to come "visit" unannounced with an odd request.

Chris huffed. When he finally opened his blue-green eyes, he saw a pair that mirrored his, brimming with tears.

"Aww, come on Chelsea! Don't you dare cry on me!"

"Please, Chris!" Chelsea, who looked exactly like her , except for her long hair that reached up to her shoulders, cried desperately. "It's spring break soon… I'm the only one that's left in the whole fucking school! Please! I need to lose it –"

"Chris brought his palm up to his face.

"I'm freaking gay, Chelsea! I thought we were already clear on that!"

"So? You still have the right parts to do it!"

"I'm your older brother! That just makes it so fucking wrong, don't you think? Why not just do it the way normal girls do and ask your boyfriend to do it?"

"James can't know, Chris! He'll blab it to the whole school! I have a reputation, you know? Reputation? You do know what those are, right?"

"Reputation of a slut?"

"Yes!"

Chris sighed. Little sisters were really impossible. He slumped down further in his seat. Chelsea moved to kneel in front of him. She grabbed her older brother's hands and stared up at him.

"Please, Chris?" I need your help,: the high school junior whispered, tears still escaping her almond-shaped eyes. "Just this once," She gave his soft hands a gentle squeeze. Chris just stared at her.

"Chel, you're my baby sister. When dad died I swore that I would protect you –"

"Then do it with me, Chris. You're the only one who would know how and not hurt me –"

"I don't Chelsea. I've never touched a girl, let alone know how to do it without hurting you. And for Pete's sake, I'm gay! And not to mention, your older brother! That just makes it so wrong. I'm sorry babe, but –"

"Hey, who's visiting?" a perky voice suddenly interrupted the brother-sister tandem.

"Darren!" Chris looked up from his seat without moving to acknowledge his boyfriend. "It's my little sister, Chelsea –"

"Oh, wow, will you look at that? Chris, she looks exactly like you!"

Chris fought hard not to roll his eyes.

"I know honey, I think we have already established the fact the she is my little sister." Chris then turned to look at Chelsea. "This adorably clueless man is my boyfriend, Chelsea. Meet Darren Criss."

Chelsea brought a hand to her lips.

"The Darren Criss?"

"Yep, the Darren Criss," Darren smiled. "Hello little Chris clone," he held his hand out, which the young girl took. Chelsea eyed him in awe.

"Wow, I didn't know you're gay," she breathed. Chris visibly tensed but Darren just laughed it off.

"I'm not," he smiled. "I'm what you call bisexual,"

Chelsea's eyes lit up.

"Oh, wow, neat!" Darren let out a chuckle.

"Never had that reaction before,' he then turned to Chris. "So may we know why your sister is visiting us?"

"She is just leaving, Darren," Chris replied. "She hadn't told mom she's coming over –and I don't want to answer for her –my mom's wrath is epic, I won't survive it –"

"Chris, you can't do that!" Chelsea protested. "I can't go home yet, not until you help me with my problem!" Darren's eyes shot up.

"What problem?" He turned to his lover. "Chris, can't we do anything to help your sister?"

"Yes!" Chelsea exclaimed at the same time that Chris yelled "No!" Darren's eyes shifted from one Colfer to another. "May I at least know what's going on?"

"Yes!"

"No!"

Darren threw his hands up in a gesture of defeat. Chris eyed him and then his sister darkly.

"It's a family problem Chelsea! Darren doesn't need to know about it!"

"Sure he does! He's your boyfriend, Chris! He has the right to know if you're going to do it with me!"

"I am not, Chelsea! It's not happening!"

"But –but you almost –you already said yes! You agreed right before Darren came in and-"

"Whoa, slow down, princess! I never said anything like that!"

"You –you already agreed! Please Chris, just this once –"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, CHELSEA ADRIENNE COLFER, I AM NOT TAKING AWAY YOUR VIRGINITY!"

Crickets.

Chelsea's eyes registered confusion. Her brother Chris' displayed frustration…

Darren's eyes on the other hand was in utter disbelief.

"Did –did –I just hear that right?"

Chris groaned and turned to his sister.

"See? Now he's never gonna let me hear the end of it!" He then turned towards Darren. "It's fine, babe, I already told her, no –"

"But –but-" Darren's eyes and mouth were wide open. He looked from one sibling to another.

"But Chris, Darren understands, right, Darren? I can't just give it up to anybody –and you're the only guy that I can trust not to blab that resident Queen Bee and Sex Kitten Chelsea Colfer is still a freaking virgin, Chris!" Chelsea pleaded.

"We're not having this conversation again, young lady!" Chris warned her sternly

"Chris, please –"

"No!"

"Just once –"

"No!"

"Please, it will be over before you know it –"

"N! O! NO! No! No! No!" Chris screamed. "Leave before I call mom!" Chelsea bit her lip. She looked like she was about to cry once more, but Chris stood his ground this time. He turned his back on his sister and stormed all the way up to his room. It was only when he was already gone that the other man in the room found his voice once more. Darren turned to a crying Chelsea.

"Hey, Chelsea, don't cry," he cooed softly, putting an arm around his boyfriend's sister. He stared at her, still unbelieving of how identical the two were.

"Sorry, Darren,"

"No, it's okay," the dark-haired man smiled. "You know, if he did agree, it would have been okay with me."

"Really?" Chelsea looked up at him hopefully.

"Really," Darren grinned. He liked this young woman. He gave her a hug which the girl returned. After a few seconds though, Chelsea broke away from the embrace. He gave the older man a knowing look. Darren sighed.

"Let me see what I can do,"

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A/N: Yes, I'm cutting it right there! *insert evil laugh* If you want to know what happens next, you've got to tell me in a review! ^^ If I get 5 or more, I'll post the smutty continuation of our tale…. If not, well… Until next time! -Eastwoodgirl