Chapter 1 He's Not My Boyfriend!
Now Shikamaru, when you get inside, just sit down and I'll do all of the talking. You just be a lazy bastard as usual and it'll be fine. You got that?" Shikamaru grunted as soon as Temari was finished lecturing him."Yeah whatever." He mumbled. "Good!" Temari snapped. Then she knocked once, twice, three times on the front door of a small adobe house in SUNA. They waited. "Oh and one more thing." Temari turned around "I should probably tell you about my…" She trailed off as the door swung open.
"Mama!" Temari exclaimed as she bent down and hugged the woman in the door way. "Temari-chan! How are you honey? You're always on those ridiculously dangerous missions. You're Papa and I wish you could be home more often. My, my you look thin dear! Have they been feeding you properly child? How's the chuunin exam in KONAHA? Are there any nice looking boys you're age there? Speak of the devil! Who is this strapping young man? Is he you're new boy friend? Well let's not stand out here! Come in, come in!" Shikamaru had barely comprehended what Temari's mother had said before he was being ushered into the tiny house. "Yuuuukiiiiii!" Temari's mother screeched. "Temari is hooome!" There was an answering holler from the room at the hall. The woman turned to Temari and said "You're Papa's coming." Then she turned to Shikamaru who braced himself for a tidal wave of questions. This was a wise decision. "Hello young man my name is Yura, Temari's Mama. What's you're name. What would you two like to drink? Coffee? Tea? Pomegranate juice? Would you like some ginger cookies? Oh there are so many things we can talk about!" Yura looked expectantly. "Well?" She demanded "What do you want to drink?" "Just tea for me Mama." Temari answered half heartedly. It looked as if she were used to this every time she came home. "And how about you're boyfriend? I never did get you're name son." Asked Temari's mother. "Mama!" Temari shouted exasperatedly. "He's not my boyfriend! I don't even have one!" Shikamaru glanced over and saw that Her face was purpling. But Temari's mother just winked and smiled slyly. "Of course he isn't dear. For the third time, what is your name young sir?" Shikamaru opened his mouth, closed it and opened it again. "Shikamaru, my name is Nara Shikamaru Madam." He finally managed to say. "And what then will you have to drink Mr. Shikamaru?" She asked slowly as if she were asking a two year old which lollipop they would like. "Er…" Shikamaru was distracted by Temari who was shaking her head behind Yura's back and mouthing "Not the pomegranate juice, not the pomegranate juice!" "I think I'll just have tea too." Shikamaru finally answered. Temari's mother nodded and clapped her hands. "Alright then I'll get a pot started. Yuuuuuuuukiiiii! By Joe what's taking that man so long? Yuuuuuuuukiiiii Temari is Hooooome and she brought her new boyfriend!" Temari turned an even deeper shade of purple and bellowed at her mother. "For crying out loud Mama, he's my bodyguard NOT my boyfriend!"
Shikamaru heard Temari shout something about dinner. He frouned and slouched into the hallway. Yura was standing beside a large coat closet. She was helping a tall man into a jacket. Shikamaru supposed that this man must be Temari's father, Yuki. Yuki was a tall balding man with two scars on his face. One was along his jaw bone and the other down the bridge of his nose. These scars reminded Shikamaru forcefully of his own father, Shikato.
Temari grabed Shikamaru's wrist and dragged him forward. "Papa." She said "This is Shikamaru." "He's her bodyguard." Yura chuckled. "Mama – Oh never mind. Shikamaru, this is my Papa" Shikamaru was wondering why she was so excited about him meeting her parents. An elbow jostled him from his thoughts. "uh, nice to meet you…" Shikamaru grumbled. "Herm…" Yuki grunted. Shikamaru winced as he felt Temari's elbow collide with his upper arm again. "Shake hands!" She whispered angrily into his ear. "You're a troublesome women." He whispered back. A chill Ran down her spine. "Don't blow in my ear!" She hissed. "I wasn't blowing. I was whispering." He answered testily. "Well, it felt like you were blowing!" Her voice was growing a little in volume. "That's because air comes out of your mouth when you talk moron!" They only remembered that Temari's parents were there when Yura gave a squealing giggle and Yuki cleared his thought. Temari grabed hold of Shikamaru's wrist, yet again,and pulled his hand out. "Now shake hands!" there was a pause. "Papa…" Yuki grunted and held out his hand and shook Shikamaru's. Yura squealed again and started to scuffle around. "I should get Kankuraou. He never comes down unless we call. Kankuuuuuuuuroooooooooou! Diiiiiiiinnerrrrr!" "Coming!" Kankurou's voice floated down the hall.
He entered the hall wearing a baggy T-shirt, jeans, and smeared purple makeup. " Oh honey! I wish you'd learn to take that stuff off if you choose to wear it! It spoils your handsome face!" Yura tossed him a coat and hurried out of the door. "They might be closed! After all it is Sunday. You are going to love this place dear! It is the cutest little restaurant in town! I have not once had a bad meal there either. What do you like to eat Mr. Nara? Fish? Poultrey? Vegetables? Red meat?" Shikamaru tried not to laugh when he glimpsed Temari mouthing blah blah blah blah blah. But the atmosphere changed as soon as Temari's father heard the name Nara. He stopped walking and stiffened. Temari turned back and looked at him. "Oh great…. You got him started with the KONAHA SUNA war thing again…"