Strange Pairing
Finally, the last chapter…
Spice punched Sugar in the face.
-"You IDIOT! Why?"
The Riddler was just behind Spice, and he was staring at the girl's look: she was furious…
-"H-hey!- he said with a trembling voice- Leave her alone!"
The devil girl looked at him with her eyes popping out of her head.
-"You took my Harvey and… and…!" Her fit of nerves ended. She began to cry in Sugar's arms.
-"Oh, Sug… I'm sorry."
-"It's all right, baby." Whispered the angel girl stroking her friend.
Eddie walked away without a word.
-"What a whacky situation.- he thought, walking towards home- Even for me… at least the Bat hasn't been here for long time…" He was barely arrived when he noticed two shadows in a tiny blind alley.
Familiar shadows.
-"Hi, Johnny, hi, Joker." He greeted entering in the alley.
-"Who's there?"
-"Calm down, Joker… it's me, Edward."
Silence.
-"Oh, hi, Mr Conundrum." The Scarecrow didn't say anything. He was leaning against the wall.
-"We were just talking 'bout you…"
Edward gave a hint of a smile.
-"I don't know if it's a good thing…"
The Joker giggled and gave the Scarecrow an agreement look. Then, he theatrically placed a hand on his chest and said:
-"Heart things are always good things. Or don't you think so, Mr I'm-In-Love?"
The Riddler raised an eyebrow:
-"I thought I was Mr. Conundrum."
-"Come on, WE UNDERSTOOD YOU ARE IN LOVE! Can't you get this through your bowler hat?"
-"Oh, yes?- Eddie asked, starting to blush- And who is this lucky girl?"
The Joker cackled. The Scarecrow seemed surprised.
-"Who said 'girl'?"
-"Wh- whaddaya mean…?"
-"I mean, my guy- the clown murmured starting to put Eddie with is back against the alley's wall- that you are… y'know, well, a queer."
-"WHAT?? And who's my lover, for God's sake?"
-"Harvey Two Face."
Edward faked a laugh.
-"Don't make me lau…"
-"Shut up. I love queers."
-"Oh, yes, you and Batman…"
A slap in the face arrived fast as the wind, immediately followed by a punch in the stomach.
Edward gave a out a strange whimpering sound and fell.
-" I said SHUT UP! I hate the Bat…I meant that I love to bully queeries like you. Help me, Crane."
-"Hey, why don't ya yell it with a megaphone…"
-"No one will hear us here. –he grinned at Edward- Now, riddle me this: who's got a broken arm? You, after my 'cure'!"
He giggles and raised a fist. Eddie closed his eyes.
-"Freeze, clown!"
A male voice came from the top of the alley.
-"Now, Jack… vanish or I'll make your brain disappear." The Joker, knowing the voice and a click from a gun, grabbed Scarecrow's arm and went away.
Edward was still down.
-"Stand up, Ed."
-"I… can't, Harvey."
He recognized me, Harvey thought with a half-smile.
-"Why? Are you hurt?"
-"No… I'm just… too ashamed of myself."
-"Well, I'll call a taxi if you don't want to walk now…"
-"A taxi? And the police too?"
-"A taxi of mine, you stupid guy…come on."
The Riddler stood up and walked slowly towards Harvey, who was phoning for the 'taxi'.
-"Thank you, Harv." He said with a neuter voice. Silence. A black car arrived and stopped. The two got into it, on the backseat.
Two Face cleared his throat.
-"What was the Joker gonna do?"
No answer.
-"C'mon, Edward, are you going to talk with me ever again?"
The Riddler looked daggers at him. What an insult! Two Face returned the look.
Suddenly, Harvey jumped on Edward and pulled him lying down on the seat.
-"Harvey, what…?"
-"Now hear me and hear me well, you little… little…"
Eddie stared at him with his wide kitten-like green eyes. They were filled with tenderness. Two Face saw himself in his lover's eyes. A split-up freak… a loved one.
-"You little… little… hamster."
Where did that come from? He just said the cutest thing he had in mind… Fuck, he thought, that was the worst thing I said in all…
The Riddler giggled and stroked shyly Harvey's hair.
-"So I am a little hamster to you? You know you're cute? Oh, Harvey, are we going to act like this forever?"
-"I hope not."
They kissed. Such tender.
Edward gave Harvey a malicious look.
-"Don't look at me like that, or I'll have to rape you right here." Two Face whispered at his friend's ear.
-"Hee hee hee… I know you'd do it, Mistah H."
Harvey's eyes widened.
-"Mistah…?"
-"Well, there's Mistah J, and you're..."
-"Friggin' nothing." Mumbled Two Face, looking out at Gotham.
THE END