Attachment, a vocaloid fanfic

Disclaimer: Well, I don't own those cutesy Vocaloids! -Pinches Len's cheeks-

Feelings, attachment, love, and friendship..

those were all emotions that a robot shouldn't have felt.

a t t a c h m e n t

by strawberry raindrops

for a very special friend

"Meet the newest members to your family – Kagamine Len and Rin."

Miku smiled politely at the two blonds. They looked almost symmetrical, with their hands entwined and their large cerulean eyes were wide with wonder. Their blond locks fell against their cheeks – the boy having his hair tied back in a pony tail and the girl wearing a silk white ribbon, pulling her hair back. The twins wore the same polite smiles.

Honestly, she couldn't care less about them. They were all robots, after all. The only thing she cared about was singing. Singing was the only thing she was programmed for and so that was all she lived for. She didn't care if she was only purely made to sing and not feel emotions and attachments those humans felt - she wasn't human, after all. Unlike some other robots, she didn't long to feel emotions and cry tears like humans did.

Of course, she was the queen of acting and faking. She could pretend she had those emotions on stage, while singing. She could pretend she was madly in love when singing a love song or tragically depressed when singing a suicidal one. She could make the people feel those emotions as she sang her heart out.

But over all, singing was the only thing that mattered to her and she couldn't care for to get tangled up with someone else.

So she didn't take a second glance at the twins as she left the room to the recording studio.

- & -

"You're an excellent singer.."

Miku lifted her head and came face-to-face with that blond twin – what was her name? Oh yes, Rin.

The turquoise-haired girl smiled at her as she responded, "Thanks."

Rin nodded. "I want to be as good a singer as you," she continued. "When you sing, you pour your emotions out as if you're a real human. You look so sincere and you seem as if you really do feel those emotions.. is it true? Can you really... really feel those feelings and emotions when you sing?"

Her eyes widened slightly at the question.

No one had ever asked her that.

Her gaze dropped to the script – "The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku."

A slightly bitter smile fell on her face.

"..No.. I'm just a good actress," she responded in a quiet small voice.

She peeked at the blond girl and saw that she looked pretty disappointed as she responded with a small, "Oh..."

"Emotions, feelings, those things..." Miku said quickly, quite haughtily too, "...are useless. Vocaloids like us shouldn't have those kind of distracting feelings. Those are for humans only. We are only made to sing and that is it. We are only made to entertain people and that is all. You shouldn't think about what it would be like to have emotions. Those kind of things would only cause as a distraction. If you want to be a good singer like me, you need to push those kinds of thoughts away."

Rin's cerulean eyes widened at the harsh response from the turquoise-haired girl.

"Do you... really... think that?" Rin said, her voice shaky and quiet.

"Yes."

A pregnant pause passed by.

"You're...wrong," she finally said, her voice barely audible but Miku caught what she was saying alright. The blond girl wasn't meeting her gaze but instead kept her head down, her face darkened. "If you really think that... you really are wrong. Even if Master only made us to sing, that does not mean we don't have emotions. Even if Master only wished for us to sing, that does not mean we can't cry tears. Attachments, love, emotions.. those kind of things humans know and look for in songs, we Vocaloids can feel too. We aren't completely robotic, you know. Master gave us emotions and feelings too so that we could experience those things humans could feel. It's just that some Vocaloids... like you... have already lost yours and they're hidden away somewhere."

The turquoise-haired girl's eyes widened, her grip tightening around the script.

Rin lifted her face up and they locked eyes for a moment before she said, "I really thought.. I really thought that you were different. I really looked up to you.. but I was wrong. You're not a great singer at all. You're just an amazing actress and that's definitely not what a Vocaloid is programmed for. I want to reach out to you. I want to show you that emotions, feelings.. those kind of things aren't useless at – "

"Shut up!" she screamed as she stood up from her seat, her grip tightened around the sheet of paper with such force that the paper had ripped and crumpled under her fist. "You know nothing! What do you know about anything?! I was the first merely came just a few weeks ago. You're still naïve and immature and foolish. If you really think that, you really are pathetic! Even I was never that stupid. An excellent singer.. an excellent Vocaloid doesn't have those kind of lingering and useless thoughts! Master will get rid of you if you continue to think those kinds of things and that is a warning."

Rin's cerulean eyes widened, her eyes glazed with tears but Miku paid no mind as she pushed passed the girl and left the booth.

Stupid girl, Miku thought as she crumpled up the script and threw it away. Who does she think she is, telling me those kind of things? She acts as if she knows everything.

But even as she tried to clear her mind of the blond, her voice continued to echo through her mind.

- & -

"Idiot! Why would I steal your oranges – ow!"

"Who else would steal them, you good-for-nothing jerk?! Give me back my oranges!!"

"Stop – ow! STOP! I didn't – ow! – I didn't steal your oranges! OW!"

Miku shut her eyes tightly as her grip on the pencil tightened, threatening to break as she heaved a deep breath to try all her might to keep her composure as the twins' shouts and arguments continued to fill the air, getting louder and louder by the second – especially by Len's cries of anguish.

The house that was once quiet and only occupied by her and Kaito and Meiko was now constantly filled with the twins' arguments, laughter, and enthusiastic cries. They were always around each other – you could never see one without the other – and most of the time, they bickered ever so loudly about useless stuff. It was odd to hear such louds shouts in a house that was once quiet. It was odd to feel such liveliness in a house that once felt too dead.

"Give me back my oranges or I'm taking away your bananas!"

"You wouldn't!"

"Try me."

Crash! Thwack!

Miku's eyes fluttered to an open as she sighed and placed her pencil down, realizing that it was hopeless to write a song with all this noise. She stepped out of her room and peered over the staircase to find the twins wrestling – with bananas involved.

She gazed at them as they momentarily stopped their wrestling and instead began to shout at each other insults and threatens – their faces filled with anger and hatred towards each other. Her eyes flickered over to Rin who was waving a banana up in the air, smirking and threatening her brother. Her face.. her expression was filled with such emotions. She looked so alive as she continued to pressure her brother who was flustered and fuming.

Suddenly, an emptiness overwhelmed Miku as she gazed at the two. She couldn't exactly put her finger on it, but for the first time, she felt so empty in the dark as if she was in a separate world from the two – just watching from far away. She felt so alone and the emptiness was eating her, alive.

She remembered how just a few hours ago they were sitting side-by-side and laughing loudly as they played video games together just like real kids, real humans. She remembered their faces filled with happiness and love towards each other.

As their shouts continued to shake the house, Miku shook her head quickly. What am I thinking?she thought as her face flustered.

But she couldn't seem to take her gaze off of the twins and the emptiness, the loneliness, the sudden longing continued to eat her alive, slowly devouring her.

She quickly turned away from the twins, fuming, as she stormed back into her room and slammed the door behind her.

She was becoming delusional – foolish! That girl was playing mind tricks on her. She couldn't give in.

- & -

"Ne, ne, Miku-san..."

Her ears perked up as she quickly turned and saw Rin standing in the doorway, only her head to be seen between the door as she slightly blushed and avoided her gaze.

The turquoise-haired girl's eyes narrowed into a small, stiff glare.

"What?"

"Can I... come in?" she asked softly.

A moment passed before Miku finally mumbled, "Yeah."

The blond girl pushed the door a little wider as she revealed herself fully at the doorway, holding a small plastic grocery bag in hand.

Miku's eyes dropped to the bag as she asked, "What's that?"

"Ah.. um.." Rin began, pressing her lips together as she took a step towards the older girl. She finally handed the plastic grocery bag to the girl, staring at the floor, embarrassed.

Miku took the bag as she curiously peered into the bag and her eyes widened slightly as she saw that there were loads of leeks inside the bag.

She instantly jerked her head up towards the blond, questioningly.

"Well – it's just that I think I made you mad a few days ago when I told you about those emotions thingy and I know it's late and – " the blond began, talking a little too quickly.

"You didn't make me mad," Miku hastily lied stiffly.

Rin blinked her large ocean-blue eyes at her. "You very much so seemed mad.. so.. I decided to give you this as a, well, apology. Will you please accept it? I'm sorry if I made you angry. I really didn't mean to. I guess I got carried away."

Miku raised an eyebrow at her.

What a strange girl, she thought. No one has ever apologized to me so formerly.. much less, given me an apology present.

She looked back at the leek and then back at the blond.

"How did you... how did you know I loved leek..?" she asked, a little flustered.

"Oh, um, Kaito-kun told me," Rin replied, giving a small lopsided smile.

The turquoise-haired girl continued to stare at her, still a little surprised at the sudden gift and apology. She honestly didn't think that the girl was this kindhearted. She still thought that she was foolish and stupid but she realized that this girl actually cared about her even if just a little and wished for forgiveness. Normally, people wouldn't care less if a Vocaloid, a robot, was mad at them, so Miku got used to insults and of the such from people and even from other Vocaloids since emotions and those things never stayed too long with her. But this girl... she actually took the time to do this. Even if it was just a small gesture, it suddenly meant a lot to her.

Miku pressed her lips together as Rin continued to smile sweetly at her.

"...Thank you," she finally said, a small smile adorning her lips.

The girl's eyes brightened just like a little kid's as she responded, "Are you not mad at me anymore?"

"I... I'm not used to staying mad at someone for too long," Miku admitted. "I still, though, think you're foolish.."

Rin's smile didn't falter or waver. "I know."

And after a moment's pause, Rin left the room, leaving Miku to smile a little down at the plastic bag as she reached down and took out a leek and chuckled a little.

- & -

"Lights of the town are shining with a chilly pain like ether anesthetic. Unable to sleep at 2 A.M., everything has changed and lost control of rule.

Oil is already running out in lighter, my stomach is nervously burning inside. If all the scenes were created by lies, I really feel happiness and easiness.

In broken dream I wring your neck in my dirty hands,lights are shining and making flow in the afternoon. I look at your throat jumping under my closed mind, but my eyes are gonna start to cry, shout to pretend.

Hey, take me to nuclear reactor! I wish to dive into core, wanna fly, fly, fly, a ray of blue lights surrounds my body, beautiful. Hey, take me to nuclear reactor! If I could dive into core, and then cry, cry, cry, all sins I did will be allowed within a miracle..."

She continued to sing, her eyes closed as she felt the music within her, letting the music guide her. Miku could tell that she was really feeling the song judging by the amount of emotions she poured out into it. The song, it was "Meltdown", and Miku realized just how well she sang this particular song and she could tell that the others were impressed too as they listened and watched her in awe and silence.

"...In broken dream everyone disappears out of sight. At midnight my room changes the size bigger and
silent nightmare comes into my chest suddenly hardly I breathe, end of the world start in my life

Rin's eyes fluttered open as she beamed at the Vocaloids watching her from outside the booth then turned to the producer who gave her a thumbs-up as the song soon tuned out to an end. Miku watched her as she pulled off her headphones and hopped off the stool as she skipped out of the booth and rushed over to her brother.

"How was I?" she asked eagerly to Len. "Weren't I amazing?!"

"Eh, I don't know..." Len said, avoiding her gaze playfully as he pretended to yawn and scratched the back of his head.

Rin scowled at her brother and crossed her arms as they got into yet another childish row.

Miku couldn't help but smile at this as she gazed at the twins bickering.

Whenever the two were together, they looked so real and so alive. Whether it was another argument or an exchange of smiles, Miku could tell that the two loved each other very much and had a bond so strong unlike any other. Originally, she had thought that such bonds were useless for Vocaloids but as she continued to watch the twins and see their secret smiles, their laughs, and their silly arguments, Miku realized just how.. how precious their bond was.

Her eyes flickered over to Rin who began peeling the skin of an orange. Over the time, Rin had been rapidly getting better and better at singing. In fact, at that moment when she was singing "Meltdown" she was practically better than Miku. When she sang, she seemed to mesmerize everyone as she poured her heart out into the song. Her progress was so rapid that Miku wondered just how long it would take until she would surpass her.

Rin.. she was a strange girl – a nice, cute, strange girl. She was very... humane and had a lot of human-like behaviors with her perky happy attitude and her hot-tempered one too. Miku couldn't help but feel a little drawn towards this girl and she kind of hated herself for it. She had never felt an attachment towards anyone, much less a Vocaloid, but she couldn't help but even be a little jealous of her because Rin seemed so free and carefree like a bird. She seemed like she could fly and dance any moment but Mikufelt like she was locked in a cage and couldn't seem to free herself. Instead, she felt like she was longingly gazing at Rin through bars, as she flew into the air.

And the walls seemed to be closing in.

- & -

Miku would never admit this to anyone, except to herself – she loved Rin. She loved the little girl as her own sister and felt like protecting the girl forever. The two girls rarely spoke to each other but when they did, Rin always spoke with kindness towards the girl with a sweet, large smile that seemed to melt Miku's heart. It was the first time Miku felt such attachment towards a Vocaloid and as much as she wanted to run away from it, she couldn't. She knew that she was trapped under the blond's charms.

The turquoise-haired girl longed to be closer to her but for some reason, she didn't know how. She couldn't seem to even try and reach out to her and every time she did try, she began to back down out of embarrassment and shyness. She wasn't exactly the most sociable person since before Rin had come into her life, she only focused on singing and making people believe that she felt those emotions as she sang it. She never had time for other Vocaloids, never really cared much about them, that is, except for Rin. Rin was the only one who could ever really give Miku a genuine smile.

She was envious of her, of course. She was oh so terribly envious of her as much as she hated to admit it but she admired her also. She admired at how she could let loose so easily and she wanted so long to be like her – to be herself. She was suffocating and the walls of the cage she was in was continuing to close in, choking her. If she didn't break out of the cage soon, she knew that she could suffocate to death and get swallowed into cold darkness.

Miku only showed even if a bit of compassion towards the girl. Sometimes she would randomly bring oranges for her at which her eyes would light up with genuine happiness as she'd embrace the older girl in a tight hug, making her feel embarrassed, happy, and relieved. Sometimes she'd lightly compliment the girl after a song she'd perform and sometimes she would just pat the girl's head ever so lightly before swiftly turning away.

She had never, never done such things towards another Vocaloid before so it was plain that Rin was very special to her and it was obvious that Miku loved her very much as of her own sister.

Just that, she wished that she could show Rin a bit more compassion and have a stronger bond with her – a bond as strong as she had with her twin brother but Miku knew that that was impossible since he was her brother but she couldn't help but still wish these things.

- & -

"You've been showing amazing progress ever since a few months ago," Master said, beaming at the turquoise-haired girl as he patted her head lightly. "You're capturing the emotions of the songs even better now. Good work, good work. You're dismissed now."

Miku smiled at him. "Thank you," she said with a bow as she left the recording studio.

She knew that the reason for her rapid progress was because of Rin. Ever since that time when she listened to Rin sing "Meltdown", Miku began to work diligently as she felt what she once called "distracting emotions" fill her up. But now, she thought that emotions weren't distracting at all but rather beautiful and amazing. She loved the emotions and attachment she felt towards Rin and never had she felt so alive.

When she reached home, she was greeted by Rin and Len who had decided to surprise her with a leek cake at which Kaito wouldn't even look at and at which Meiko announced that even sake wouldn't go very well with that.

Miku gazed at them all – Kaito, Meiko, Len... Rin. As her eyes fell on the blond girl who was beaming up at her with her large cerulean eyes, Miku smiled. A genuine, real smile.

For the first time in her life, she was happy – genuinely, amazingly happy.

But the happiness only lasted for so long.

- & -

A sudden scream that sounded much like Len's shrilled through the entire house. Miku froze as her eyes widened, her palms suddenly getting clammy as her heart hammered against her chest.

What was that sound?! she thought as she jumped out of her seat and bolted out of her room and rushed into Rin and Len's room where she heard the scream coming from.

Her blood seemed to run cold as she saw Rin lying on the floor – a bit too lifeless with Len on his knees by her side, shaking terribly as tears slipped down his cheeks. Kaito and Meiko were already there, their eyes equally widened as they stared, frozen, at Rin.

Miku's mind seemed to spin as she stepped towards Rin, feeling like she was walking in water. The blond's eyes were closed and so were her lips. She looked so peaceful, so serene, so –

dead.

No, no, NO-

Meiko lifted her head at the turquoise-haired girl as she placed a hand over her lips, tears threatening to spill from the brunette's eyes. "Mi-Miku..."

"What... what..." Miku stammered as her knees gave way and she, too, fell on her knees next to Rin's lifeless body. "No.. no! What's wrong with her?! Why is she so – so..?!"

She couldn't finish her sentence.

"Rin! Rin!" Miku screamed, tears now slipping from her face.

What's wrong with her?! Why isn't she responding?! What happened?! What happened?!?

Suddenly, she spotted a small note next to the blond's body. Hands shaking, she picked up the paper.

Dear Meiko-san, Kaito-kun, Len, and Miku-san,

I know that you're all probably surprised about this.. haha. I'm really, really sorry.. but I had to. I had to shut down. I didn't want to leave so suddenly and quickly but I had to.. I didn't want to tell you guys beforehand because I didn't want to see your crying faces – how selfish of me, right? But please, don't be sad. I'm still happy to do this. I am, really.

I did this because apparently Master has an enemy who, out of vengeance, threatened to malfunction Miku-san if he didn't kill one of us. But Miku-san is too precious – even I know that! Miku-san is the very first Vocaloid, not to mention the best singer. So I sacrificed myself instead to satisfy that dreadful man.

Please, don't be mad at Master.. I willingly sacrificed myself for the safety of Miku-san. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to her since she is very precious to me so please, please don't be mad at him. If you want to be mad anyone, it's me and that bad guy! He deserves a whack across the head!

Anyways, I just want to thank all of you.. I want to thank you all for being so kind and amazing. You all helped me to become a better singer and there's not a single regret in my life even if my life was pretty short. I especially want to thank Len and Miku-san because you two were always the closest to me. Even though I know that you were always a bit shy, Miku-san, I always knew that we had some special kind of bond, right? Right??

Heehee, I hope so.

Miku-san, I really do hope you think so too, but.. I always thought of you as a friend. I think we were great friends, don't you think? I just wish we had spent more time together. I just wish we had more time to build more memories together..

But anyhow, thank you, you guys.

I had a wonderful time here.

I love you guys. I really, really do.

Love,
Rin.

The paper slipped through her fingers and time seemed to freeze.

Her heart seemed be breaking terribly as tears slipped down her cheeks. It was the first time she cried, the first time she felt such anguish. It was the first time she felt such strong emotions, mixed with love and hurt as she stared, wide-eyed at the serene blond girl.

She shut her eyes tightly as she sobbed loudly and wrapped her arms around the corpse, crying terribly.

How could she?! How couldshe?! She sacrificed herself just for her. Miku had never done much of anything to her, but yet, this girl sacrificed herself just for the safety of her. This girl considered her as a friend even though she never did much to gain such respect from her.

Tears continuing to run down her cheeks, Miku cried and cried.

I hate you, Rin! I hate you! She thought. But she knew that it wasn't true. She knew that she loved the girl terribly, so, so much. She knew that she wished to go back in time to spend more time with the girl, to sacrifice herself before Rin could. She knew that she didn't deserve such a great friend as Rin, and yet, here Rin was, dead because of her, for her.

Rin, you were a great friend.. You're an amazing friend.. I just realized how amazing of a friend you were a bit too late. Thank you though.. thank you. You showed me that emotions aren't useless and distracting. You showed me that bonds and emotions like these weren't only silly things humans felt but rather beautiful and wonderful things that even Vocaloids could feel. You're the first one I could ever call a friend and I know that I could never, ever measure up to your generosity for you even sacrificed yourself just for me.. You're an idiot, you know that?! But I love you. I love you so much.. and I wish you wouldn't leave me. No, not yet.. I wish you were still here with me so that we could build more memories together. Please, please don't leave me. I need you here.. without you, I'm lifeless and useless.

How could you do this to me, though?! Don't you know that if you die, I die too?! I might not be dead physically-wise but I am, mentally and emotionally-wise and that's much worse! I wish you hadn't done such a generous gesture. I wish you hadn't done that.. I'd rather die than you.. I can't believe you.. I really can't..

Miku smiled bitterly through her tears as she continued to cry.

Thank you, Rin.. thank you.. I love you so much, too.

I just wish that you could stay a bit longer.

But I have to say.. I don't have any regret befriending you.

And I know that I'll never be able to find as great a friend like you.

- & -

Ten years later...

The crowd cheered loudly as they polished off yet another song.

Miku beamed at the crowd as she spoke into the microphone, "Thank you everyone for coming here!"

The crowd erupted in louder cheers as they clapped and shouted with joy.

"But before we go," Miku began, continuing to smile, "I want to sing yet another song – and this is dedicated to a Vocaloid. A very special Vocaloid who was my best and greatest friend and helped me realize a lot of amazing things. And even though you can't see her, she is here with us today, smiling at all of us, I know it. I hope you enjoy it!"

The crowd cheered as Miku smiled and heaved a deep breath as she closed her eyes.

This is for you, Rin!

She grabbed the microphone and began to sing.. sing, sing.

But of course, singing wasn't the only thing she lived for anymore thanks to a certain friend.

A/N: This was rushed! SORRY! But still, reviews are muchos appreciated, haha?

Right, well, anyways, as it said above, this is for my bffl. :) I love her very very much and even though our friendship isn't really like Miku's and Rin's - except for our personalities in this (I'm a bit like Miku in here. Kind of don't know how to say "I LOVE YOU!" to a friend and such and I'm awkward with showing compassion towards friend while my friend is like Rin, pretty much free-like and can express her emotions pretty clearly) our friendship is just as special. So I guess this is just my way of saying "I love you" to her, haha.

Anyways I know that she'll be leaving soon so I felt depressed and typed this up.

I'm going to miss you, friend. But thanks for being the greatest friend in my entire life. You mean a lot to me.

P.S. I didn't say her name just for, well, privacy issues, haha.