HAHAHA Me makes new story now.
I have read every chapter to date in the naruto series.
Sorry anyone who disapproves of pedophile ism, incest.Warning: Jiraya only talks in leet speak.
Emotions
Demons/Thoughts
Narrations
personal actions)
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After getting into the fight with orochimaru and narutos near death experience Tsunade now cares for naruto as if he was Nawaki or maybe Dan.
After the fight naruto, tsunade, shizune,and jiraya arrive at the inn and tsunade is drinking obbsesively.
Tsunade: Im getting tired and a little horny too.
Jiraya:Y35 n0w5 my ch4nc3-
Before he can say anything shizune knowing Jirayas actions cut him off.
Shizune: you should get a room with naruto...or me.
Tsunade: drunken slur I told you already im not a lesbian.
Shizune:(tries to change the subject) um sleep with naruto then.
Tsunade: snicker why would you want to watch?
Shizune:Your going to bed...now.
Grabs naruto and brings him and tsunade upstairs to their room.
Shizune: Have fun you two.
Pushes both of them in the room.
Tsunade and Naruto fall on the bed.
Naruto:Ow stupid dumb whor-
Naruto gets cut off by tsunade pulling him toward her.
Tsunade: Wow you sound just like dan...you even look like him except sexier.
Naruto: Blush m-m-miss Tsu-Tsunade.
Tsunade grabs naruto and kisses him which starts to escalate till naruto makes very feeble attempts to push her away. Tsunade after the 30 minute moment those two shared tsunade lays her head on narutos chest and moans his name.
Meanwhile in konoha.
Rock music can be heard throughout Konoha at the newest residence ... the sabaku residence.
Gaara is in his room listening to Forget to Remember by Mudvayne when his sister knocks on his door.
Temari:G-G-Gaa-ra.
Gaara gets annoyed by his sister caring for him so much.
Gaara:(yells over his music) What the fuck do you want now.
Just noting that gaara is still a ruthless bastard at this point.
Temari enters the room.
Temari: I need to talk to you.
Gaara:(turns down music) Hurry up.
Temari: Ive been having some Dreams.
Gaara: o.k
Temari: about you
Gaara: Get to the point or im kicking you out of my room.
Temari:Sexual Dreams.
Gaara:(eyes turn big and he gets angry) What?
Temari: Panicks its ok im sure its just a phase.
Gaara: GET OUT NOW!
Temari:Theres no point in talking to you.
Temari leaves.
Gaara thinks about what temari said.
Gaara:Creepy ass weirdo.
The next morning Tsunade and naruto wake up to Jiraya snickering.
Jiraya: D!d y0u 2 h4v3 s0m3 h07 8u77s3cks.(forgive the leet speak)
Naruto: (looks down at tsunade) umm (jumps off) holy shit.
Tsunade: (looks at naruto) What the fuck you weirdo!!
Jiraya! Kn3w y0u 2 w3r3 !n7im473.
Shizune: lets get going back to konoha.
Tsunade: good idea.
Meanwhile neji is in his room jamming to some tunes staying far away from his abusive ass uncle.
Neji: I hate my life, its so gay.
Hinata bursts in nejis room sobing.
Neji:Whats wrong hinata.
Hinata: N-N-Neji unc-le t-t-tried to touch me.
Neji: This has gone too far
Neji goes in his closet and grabs a sawn off shotgun. Soon after this neji walks out of the room.
A few seconds later hinata hears a gunshot followed by a thud. She turns her head and sees neji with bloodstains on his jacket.
Hinata:Oh my god Neji.
Neji:(holds her and strokes her head ) Its okay now its all over.
He holds her till she cries herself to sleep.
Meanwhile back to naruto and tsunade's gang.
Jiraya: S0 cl053 70 K0n0h4.
Tsunade: yeah so close.
Naruto: I cant wait to see ichiraku i could use some ramen.
Naruto gets stopped by the bitch yelling at him.
Sakura: Its about time you got back you retard.
At this comment Tsunade punches sakura sending her flying 20 meters back.
Tsunade: Naruto is not a retard you stupid little whore.
Shizune: Wow your very protective of him.
Jiraya! 7h!nk y0u l!k3 h!m.
Tsunade: Shut up you two.
Naruto goes to ichirakus ramen shop and sees kiba, Ino, Chouji, and Shikamaru there as well.
Ino: hi naruto
Shikamaru: Who was that chick with the fat ass tities you were with, huh?
Naruto:Thats the new Hokage.
Kiba: You mean that chick damnnnn.
Naruto:What?
Kiba: She got the fat ass and titties son i mean theys like BANG!
Naruto:Sure
Ayame:Did you two fuck yet?
Ichiraku:(looks at his daughter in astonishment) AYAME!
Ayame:oh shit dads pissed.
Ichiraku: Of course those two have gotten to fucking.I mean look at the smile on narutos face.
Naruto:(Chokes on Ramen) WHAT?!
Sarutobi:(puts elbow on Naruto) Yeah yous been pumpin dat ass nigga.
Naruto:(walks away) you guys are fucked up.
Chouji:(Swallows food) i bet hes leaving so he can fuck her again.
Naruto walks away in embaressment
Meanwhile at the Sabaku residence gaara comes downstairs to eat.
Kankuro: hi bro
Gaara: What are we eating.
Kankuro: my homemade dish.
Gaara:(gets a disgusted look on his face) Im going to Ichirakus.
Gaara walks away from his brother and sister.
5 hours later
Sarutobi is making tsunade the 5th hokage and it is long and boring. After the ceremony Tsunade goes to her office. She sighs at the pile of paperwork on her desk.
Tsunade: I hate paperwork.
Sarutobi: Well dis is what bein dah hokages like bitch.
Tsunade:(stares at the odd old man) Weirdo...
Naruto is bored and decides to talk to Tsunade about her becoming the new hokage. He walks into her office and sees her laying on her desk pulling her hair in frustration.
Naruto: Miss Tsunade.
Tsunade:What now Naruto.
Naruto: You look a little ...stiff.
Tsunade: What do you mean?
Naruto goes behind Tsunade, Lays her face first on the desk, and starts to rub her back. About 15 minutes later Tsunade starts to stop Naruto.
Naruto: What is it Tsunade?
Tsunade:My shirts in the way.
Tsunade starts to pull down her shirt. Naruto stands there biting his lip.
Tsunade: there we go.
Naruto begins to massage her again hearing her moan on occasion. Suddenly she turns, grabs naruto and places his hands on her breasts.
Naruto:(shakes) miss tsu-
Naruto gets cut off by Tsunade kissing him and soon enough naruto climbs on top off her.
Tsunade: Lets see if you are better than Dan.
Naruto:(gulp)
As soon as she says that narutos kyuubi starts bugging him.
Kyuubi: Fuck her Naruto fuck her hard.
Naruto:Shut up did i say i wasnt going to.
Kyuubi:oh yeah
Sure enough they get into extreme hardcore sex.
Jiraya just happens to walk by the door when he hears a pleasurable moaning.
Jiraya:75un4d3 !5 h4v!ng 73h 53x.
Jiraya peeks in the door.
Jiraya:W!7h ...N4RU70.
Jiraya watches until they finish but he suddenly feels an urge of sexual desire.
Jiraya:Mu57 Fuck 50m37h!ng.
Meanwhile at the Sabaku residence all is normal.
Temari suddenly walks in gaaras room
Gaara:Cant you knock?
Temari: Gaara i had the same dream again but i know how to stop them.
Gaara:How?
Temari: We need to fulfill the dream.
Gaara: WHAT!
Temari jumps on gaara.
Temari: Gaara make love to me.
Gaara: FUCK YOU!(kicks temari off and books ass outside).
Suddenly Ino and Sakura walk up to gaara.
Ino & Sakura: Fuck us Gaara.
Gaara:What the Fuck is going on!
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end of the first chapter lol sorry the beginning is so dramatic.
Next one comin soon.