Butler: Hey, Arty old pal!
Artemis: shifty eyesWho are you? What are you doing in here? Where is my favourite Pez dispenser?
Butler:…
Artemis: How can you say that? '…' Isn't a word! Don't you know anything?
Butler: eh… no…
Artemis: WELL, STOP!
Butler: But Holly is here to—
Artemis voice high-pitched and giggly Holly! Why didn't you say so?
Butler: eh…
Holly: Hey, Arty old pal!
Artemis: breathing heavily in slightly stalkerish way Hello, Holly, dear!
Butler: So she can say Arty…
Artemis: Yes.
Holly: I brought Pez! But not the yellow kind, because I know about the whole thing that, when mixed with saliva, they attract albino, schizophrenic, blind, rabid, flying sqwerls.
Artemis: clapping hands Yes! And not squirrels—sqwerls.
Butler: What's the difference?
Artemis and Holly: yelling angrily How can you now know the difference, you blubbering, stupid,, fool?
Butler: …
A and H: And stop saying that!
Butler: Okay. sits down stupidly and begins munching on one of Artemis's bricks, thinking it's a chocolate bar
Holly: So, Arty, got any news?
Artemis: Well… yes, actually. I must make a confession to you. I am madly in love with—
Holly: A stripper! triumphant look on her face
Artemis: No, but that is a wonderful song (Me: … Artemis: I HATE YOU Me: snickers). No, Holly—I'm in love with you,
Holly: fluttery, giggly, high-pitched voice Me? Aw, I love you too! They begin making out, fall on Butler, who has found the yellow Pez candy thing, and their saliva drips onto the Pez
Butler: Uh-oh
Artemis: What? Holly and I are busy!
Butler: Your saliva fell on the yellow Pez
A and H: aghast That was perfectly good saliva, too!
Butler: What about the—
A and H: continue making out; are disrupted by the growling of sqwerls
Holly: Oh no!
Artemis: Get one of you special fairy weapons, my love who is far too old for me and we are therefore illegal but in love love!
Holly: rummaging through bra (Me: What? It's a good storage place…); pulls out fifty-seven credit cards, three whips (Me: Yes, I'm scared as well), a cd player, a laptop, and multiple other things, including Foaly, who attempts to kiss her, resulting in her slapping him and him falling on Butler's lap; Butler then makes out with Foaly and they leave to get married. Holly finally pulls out her own Pez dispenser Ah ha!
Artemis: That's a Pez dispenser.
Holly: Shit! I could've sworn… oh yeah, I ate my weapons. Sorry.
Artemis: shrugs
A and H: continue to make out, then proceed to do things that, if mentioned, would make this a not G-rated story…
Butler and Foaly
Foaly: I love you.
Butler: Thank God we got divorced. I was drunk when we married, you know.
Foaly: cries
Juliet: enters, sees Foaly crying What's the matter, my lovely centaur
Foaly: neighs in a suggesting way
Juliet: giggles
J and F: begin to make out, elope
Butler: shrugs I'm good. Lili?
Lili Frond: Enters wearing a very risqué outfit, giggles Hey, Butler twirls his tie
L and B: begin making out, elope
Mulch: sobs But… but…
Sexy Sqwerl and The Muffin Man: enter, playing with those ultra sexy chocolate chip muffins Hey, Mulch, wanna come party at the bakery?
Mulch: shrugs I'm in.
The End.
I know. Lovely.
Holly and Artemis: still making out. They have scared the rabid really long described sqwerls away with their bravery in the makeout department.