SlippingSanity : This is a story that's been on my mind for a while and I finally have it written and posted. Go me :D Please tell me if she seems Mary Sueish from her description. I hope she doesn't.
Anime : YuGiOh GX
Title : No Matter What
Summary : An OC / Crowler (Onesided) fanfic, has Jaden / Syrus
Genre : Romance
Pairing : OC / Crowler (Onesided)
Jaden / Syrus
Disclaimer : I do not own...
Raiting : T (Not really this high in rating, I just wanted to be safe for a few words.)
Tell me, why is it that some poeple are luck, while others remain hoplessly the opposite? How is it that people can have their lives so perfect without even trying? If I didn't try, would that make me perfect? Or would it drag me farther down into this spiral of loneliness that I've ridden along in all of my time? I want to be lucky, to be the one whom's perfection with the imperfect attitude! I want to be the one who you see when you sleep, whether it be in your dreams of defeating him, or in your nightmares of loosing to him. I want to be the one you celebrate with, and the one you cry to! But...I'm just not that lucky, am? I wish I were, because then that'd mean I'd have your heart, your soul, your body...your love.
My friends think that I'm crazy, and they all say "Who'd ever want that man?" They say that I'm in need of serious help, that I'm delusional and they look at me oddly, but I don't care. I'll love who I want to damnit and I don't care about whatever they say! They say that you're horrifying and digusting, that you're 'a drag project gone wrong' and that you shouldn't boast about your phd if you lost to a slacker. Screw them! They can't even say it to your face, they just smile as they hand you their test papers and hope you don't fail them. They don't stop to notice you like I do. They don't notice the beautiful shade of blue your eyes are, the golden scoop of glimmer that is your hair, your soft painted lips, your grace, or your taste for elegance and power.
Personally, I'm glad I'm the only one to notice. I want to be the only one to see you in this way, and the only one to bask in your beauty the way that I do. Am I selfish? Does that seem selfish? My friends, even though they don't like you like I do, say that I am. I scoff and glare at them with my raven eyes. Me? Selfish? I'm the most unselfish girl in the friggin' dorms! I just don't want to share you. Hell, I won't share you. You're mine and mine alone!
Did that sound stalker like? I hope it didn't, because I'm not a stalker. I only follow you around in the shadows, inhaling your rose petal scent. Wait, no, today you smell like lilac. I wish you'd stay with the rose soap, I hate having to steal your brand new scented soaps and candles. Taking them, however, allows me to enjoy your rose petal scent, and gives me more of you to have in my dorm room. Forget what I said previously, I want you to buy and use some more of the new soaps. I need to complete my shrine to you anyway. I guess a shrine's almost like the real thing. My girlfriends, however, tell me otherwise and say that I should check out some other guys, such as Zane, Chazz, even Jaden. As if I would. They can keep their little boys because I've got myself a man. I don't even like them. In fact, the very guys they say I should check out are on my revenge list.
Zane Truesdale - Hate him for being top in the school, therefore getting more praise and attention from you.
Chazz Princeton - Hate him for stealing your attention away from me again. Just because he's filthy rich and a great duelist does not mean has the right to embarass you in front of the camera like that! Yes, I know that was a long while ago, but I can hold a grudge! I also hate that you hold him in high regard. I figured this because you personally picked him to face and defeat Jaden. (Which he didn't! Ha!)
Jaden Yuki - Need I say anything? He's the one who beat you in a duel and killed whatever record you had at being one of the best. He's the one who humiliated you the most, and I wont forgive him for that! I don't want to say it, but I hate that he's the one who encourages you. I know that you strive to be better than him, I saw it one day when I went to the roof one lunch break and saw you standing in the sunlight. The wind carried your words so it was faint, but I heard it; I heard his name. "Jaden..." you whispered in a tone that wasn't quite happy, but it wasn't full of malice either.
My best friends saw my revenge list, and said that I made no sence. The three of them asked them how could I even hate those boys, but I didn't bother explaining. They wouldn't understand anyway. Maybe they'll understand in the future, but for now I won't dwell on it. I have my opinions, and they have theirs. And their opinion? That Alexis is their enemy. I could hear them talking about it, and about her. Appearently they don't like her because she hangs out with Zane, and Chazz is supposed to like her or something like that. I don't really know, and I don't care to do so. I like Alexis. She's a very pretty girl with a nice attitude. She's kind, but has a toughness to her, and can actually duel. That's why I look up to her, and try to improve so that one day I can face her in a duel. Once again, my best friends think I'm crazy, and they all say that Alexis isn't so tough. Really now? Then what's stopping them from outdueling her? Hm?
Speaking of Alexis, I really enjoyed the look of shock and suprise on her face when she go wind of a rumor going all around campus that a certain blue hair third year Obelisk was having 'more than brotherly' relations with his first year Slifer brother. All of the student body - as well as the administration - was in an uproar. Zane and Syrus denied it up and down, and some believed them, but most didn't. One of my best friends even locked herself in her room because she heard the rumor. I didn't see what was so bad, I mean, so what? I guess it's just because I'm very open-minded...and because I was the one to start the rumor in the first place. I don't know why I did it, I guess it was one of those 'since this happened to so-and-so, it's gonna happen to you' type things. In this case 'this' was a tarnished reputation, 'so-and-so' was the one I love, and 'you' was the Kaiser. That might have been the reason I spread the rumor, or it might have been just to see my friends faces when it came to the imperfection of someone they admired and loved, and swore by as perfection. I never did choose and answer I wanted.
My little rumor got washed away like footprints at the bank of a high tide ocean, however. The entire school was announced to go into the duel stadium. I though it was to cramped and was about to leave, but an announcement was made. It was Zane and Syrus, and they were talking about the rumors. They said it was false and blah, blah, blah. I didn't really listen and just stared at my deck, rearranging my cards and whatnot. My attention was brought back to the center of the platform, however, when I heard five specific words. "I'm in love with Jaden," is what Syrus had declared into the microphone to everyone. There were the occasional gasps, and the 'yeah right's, but it all ended when Jaden walked foward and kissed Syrus in front of the school. Not a kiss on the cheek, not a short peck on the lips, but a full-blown frenchie! My mouth hung open and I almost dropped my deck! I could not believe they did that, and appearently no one else in there because there was nothing but silence. After a while there was some squeals, disgusted voices, and the occasional 'As if they had to say it, you could have seen this comming from space'.
If only I could do the same with him. Announce to the would that we are in love. Oh, if he could see what I feel for him! My feelings for him shine so brightly, they could be seen from outside the universe! Can he not see that I want to ravish him? Can he not see what I dream of doing to his body? ...On second thought, I'm thankful he can't.
A declaration was put out too, stating that whomsoever started the rumor in the first place would have to face...something. I didn't really pay much attention. I was too busy crossing the 'Jaden' part of 'Jaden Yuki' out of my notebook, meaning that when I do go for him, it'll be half of what I would normally dish out. It takes real guts to come out in front of so many people, so I had to hand it to them. Besides, I thought the kiss was hot.
...It'd be hotter, no, just drop dead sexy if it were me and him, lost to this world in a kiss, drowning in his bed sheets, panting and gasping for a breath as sweat rolled down our bodies and...No! Bad girl! No thinking about your dreams! They'll only lead to trouble.
They still looked for who started the rumor, but no one ever found out it was me whom spread the rumor. The trick is to say you heard said rumor from more than one person. Not the "I heard from blank who heard from blank...", but the "I heard from blank and her friends blank and blank...". Oh well, if they can't tell then why should I?
Oh, and there was this one rumor that Jaden had cheated on Syrus and slept with Chazz. I did not start this one I swear! Well, it seems that Jaden was out late one night, and when he got back it was early the next morning, something like one thirty to two. That's the night that Jaden supposidly slept with Chazz. Wow, I'd never seen Syrus so sad before. I was walking in the halls, going to class and he bumped into me. I wanted to tell him off for that. No one stops me from getting to class early! Do you know how many seconds that depleats from me getting an eyefull of my love while he organizes his classroom?
Syrus stopped me halfway through inhaling. He wrapped his arms around me and cried for a few seconds before he realized I was a complete stranger. He appologized as best as a person choking with sobs could and ran off down the halls, to his brother I guess. I got up to walk to class and again I was run over. It was Jaden. I just stared at him as he apologized and quickly pulled me up, my emotions caught between feeling sorry about his situation and wanting to rub salt in the wound. I chose the former of the two and pointed out Syrus's direction. He ran past me, yelling a broken 'thank you' as he did so. I guess that's when I took out my diary that was in my bag and crossed out Jaden's full name. I guess I'm just a softy when it comes to tears.
Anyways, the rumor was cleared, the girl responsible for spreading the rumor was caught (thanks to yours turly), those two were back on good terms, and I was still no where closer to anything. I hadn't done anything to gain the attention of the one I love. (Though I did dye my hair blonde, and started wearing contacts to match his eyes.) I think I might have done a bad- good deed actually. I mean, my love doesn't like Jaden, but I helped Jaden out. ...But Jaden did refuse to duel again until he and Syrus patched up everything. So, I guess I did do a good-good deed. I helped someone with their lover, and helped my lover get back his reasons to become that sexy, devious man he becomes when plotting Jaden's failure.
I know I really want him, so I really should start to try harder to get him. I should try to do something to grab his attention and hold it, instead of wading in this river of obsession. But what's stopping me? He's way older than me, and my teacher. I really couldn't do anything if I wanted...but still, I could try, right? Age is just a number, isn't it? The full moon outside seems to agree as I look at it from this tree branch outside my room. I've got to do more than just doing nothing. I know I really shouldn't, but my mind is past the angst now. I open the diary and rewrite 'Jaden Yuki' in there. I may be a softy for tears, but I'm a fool for him.
Looks like just dyeing my hair blonde wond get his attention. I'll just have to try harder, and if the sky says that I can, I will. The sky can't tell me if I'll ever get you to see me in the same way I see you, if you even notice me at all, but I'll make it happen. If I had to, I'd move the earth for you. I will get you to be mine, I will get you to notice - to love - me, Dr. Vellian Crowler, no matter what.