A/N: Hey! First Advent Children fic! Woo! Anyways, I wanted to write Kadaj fic, and Nyviay and I have been joking about this for ages, so I thought I'd turn it into a fic! Well, hope you enjoy it! Constructive criticism welcome, as always! Italics smbolise Kadaj's thoughts as he fills in the form...x Cyraxis x
Disclaimer: I wrote this fic, but alas, the only claim that I have to Final Fantasy and the characters therein, is a false one, so, for now, Kadaj is yours, Square Enix.
Dating Agency
Kadaj sat alone on the sofa. Standing opposite him were his big brothers Yazoo and Loz. He stared up at them, with a childish, innocent smile on his face, and they looked at each other wearily before sitting down either side of him.
"Look, Kadaj." Yazoo began, looking uncomfortable.
"You're 19." Loz continued, also looking uncomfortable.
"Yup!" Kadaj chirped, still smiling. "All my life!"
"…" They both replied.
"It's just, have you got ANY friends?"
"Well, I did have a friend, once! That guy with glasses that was in my chemistry class! You know, I brought him round here once? The one that watched a lot of Star Trek, couldn't get a girlfriend, had those weird allergies?"
"And what happened to him?" Yazoo asked.
"He stopped hanging around with me because it was 'bad for his reputation'…"
"You see, 19 year olds normally have friends!"
"They DO!" he cried, "Why did no-one tell me?"
"Um… okay." Loz said," We're sorry."
"In that case, I don't suppose that you know that it's normal for teenagers to have GIRLfriends?" Yazoo asked, apprehensively
Kadaj's face was a perfect Oo
"You mean like when you brought home that 'Sophia' and Loz got upset 'cause he thought that you were gonna marry her 'cause we walked in on you two in b-"
"Yes! That kind of girlfriend!" Yazoo cut him off quickly, as Loz began to cry at painful memories.
"Oh. Well, I've never had a girlfriend, and I'm 19."
"That's kind of our point, Kadaj…"
"Oh. I can see that now."
And thus starts Kadaj's quest…
-- The next day, at the dating agency --
"Excuse me!" Kadaj said to the lady behind the counter of the dating agency. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun, and her long thin eyebrows arched, making her look angry and scary.
"Can I help you?" said the woman, irritably.
"I'm looking for a date."
"You're in a dating agency. I could have guessed that much." Unfazed, Kadaj ploughed on.
"Well, um, what do I do?"
"Hmph! Fill in one of the forms over there!"
"Heehee, why did you make that noise?"
The lady looked angry.
"Heeeheehe- I'll, um, go fill in a form now…"
Kadaj sat down at the low table and grabbed a form from the pile.
"Ok! This can't be too hard, surely!" he exclaimed to himself, and began to fill it in…
Forename: (well, that's simple) Kadaj
Surname: (Um, err, ok, I guess I'll have to make one up…what would imply sexiness… A foreign name!) Spanish
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Height: (Damn, I don't know how tall I am! Well, chicks are supposed to dig tall guys…) Very tall.
Weight: (Argh! Can't they ask questions that I KNOW the answers to? Um, well, I don't want to seem weak, but nor do I want to sound fat… erm…) Medium
Hair colour: Silver (hang on, that makes me sound really old…) but it's not through premature aging.
Eye Colour: Mako green (Heh, I sound soooo cool!)
Nationality: (Um, what the hell does that mean. (Asks Lady: 'It's where you come from, idiot!') Oh, ok, in that case…) I come from Mother.
Personality: (Argh! How am I supposed to put good things about myself while not wanting to sound bigheaded! Maybe if I split it into good and bad points I'll seem less pushy!) Positive: Loyal to family and friends, cheerful, yet mature, sensitive and strong- willed. Negative: Drastic mood swings, dark tendencies, sadistic.
Hobbies: (Well, excuse me if between finding Mother and fighting big brother I don't get much time for myself!) I am an expert with a Souba. I like to travel and laugh maniacally.
Is looking for: (I guess I can't afford to be too choosy…) Anyone between the age of 17 and 24. So long as you're nice.
"Okay, Miss!" He exclaimed, feeling very proud of himself, "What do I do with the form now?"
After sighing exasperatedly, she took down his address, and pointed over to a large notice board.
"Oh, thanks!" he skipped off and pinned it up, covering several other applicants in the process. "All done! Wait 'till Yazoo and Loz hear about this!"
(Later, back at home…
"You did WHAT!")
So busy was he, that he didn't see the maliscious glint in the secretary's eye as he walked out, nor did he here the chilling cackle once the door had closed...
oOo
Sorry that it was so short; I'll have actual dates take place in future chapters, but to have one here would have made it way too long! And it will hopefully be funnier with time; I realise that this intro-chapter sucks. Please don't flame, but please do give me any positive suggestions that you think of! Oh, and I'll have a Quick Question at the end of chapters! The best answer will receive an e-cookie and will be displayed at the start of the next chapter! Ok:
-o- Which would be the perfect middle names for Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz? Forbonus points: What would be a good last name for them, too?-o-
Good luck! x Cyraxis x