AN: Sup, so, uh, first of... I don't write well so sorry for the awkward grammar and repetitive language... also sorry if this first chapter is a bit boring... as others may be since I'm just writing to clear my head, also may never finish writing this... just warning you... And uhm feel free to critique, just no hate? Please?
Anyway, this is a reincarnation fic where my OC is reincarnated as Hiccup. This story will (eventually) involve major plot divergence, LGBTIQQAS+ themes/characters, as well as polyamory, for the tame stuff, the rest
(Trigger Warning: Implied R*pe, Implied Murder, Dissociation, Dealing with C-PTSD, Mild Bullying, and lots of really lame paragraphs)
Chapter 1. Is Waking Up Supposed to be this Hard?
Waking to darkness, I cringe at the sounds of wailing, wondering what sweet hell I'd woken to. Feeling a bit disoriented, I found I was not really able to open my tired eyes and see what was going on.
Strange unfamiliar voices seemed to murmur in concern over the bleating of what I now distinguished as a baby's wail, which I immediately decided must mean I was dreaming. This left me with two options; try to wake up and potentially be irritable, or try to slip into a deeper sleep despite the obvious dream signal that my body wants me awake.
Deciding a few minutes more wouldn't really matter, I relaxed my mind and tried lulling myself into a deeper sleep, which strangely enough ended the wailing. Not that I was complaining.
Feeling the darkness of dreamless sleep I sighed happily in my mind.
The next time I 'awoke' I guess, considering the other time I was dreaming, I blinked open my eyes finding it harder than usual. Guess I really needed to sleep longer.
Rolling around I tried to sit up finding my limbs not cooperating and feeling reallyyyy awkward.
Hearing odd voices around me I decided to look around, wondering why people were in my room… again. I sighed remembering my cheerful housemate invited her girlfriend over the night before.
Lifting heavy lids that had slid closed in the last five seconds of thought I frowned at the blurry wooden ceiling, confused. This isn't my room, I thought, wondering if I was dreaming still when a big hand reached down and brushed the side of my head. Staring wide eyed at it, it was huge, I followed the arm it belonged to, also huge, all the way up to the owner of said-ginormous limb only to meet large, mostly blurry, green-eyes. And a whole lot of read hair.
The face came closer as I furrowed my brows at this obviously strange dream until I face I was actualy familiar with.
Not in a 'I've met this person' kind of familiar, no more of 'I've agonised over hours of this character in a tv show/movie/anime for so long I could draw them in my sleep'.
Apparently Stoic the Vast was featuring in my dreams now.
Not that he hadn't before… Just… normally he showed up mid way through the dream for maybe… five seconds?
Feeling myself being lifted up into the air I flailed uselessly only to come face to beard with the hulking Viking holding me in his arm, allowing me to see more of the room. As everything was still mostly blurry I could only make out some stairs not too far away and an intricate cradle with a carving of two green dragons facing each other. Impressive, and here I thought my dreams weren't visually creative.
"Valka! Hann er vakandi," Stoic yelled startling a squeak out of me. Great so now I hear gibberish in my dreams too now, I thought with a sigh as tried to work out what kind of plot this dream might have.
Glancing down at the cradle again I figured I must be baby Hiccup, maybe not long before the dragon raid. It's certainly first to be dreaming about being a baby... but maybe it was the hormones from pregnancy or maybe my subconcious trying to fathom what it'll be like being a father? Sighing, I wondered why I couldn't just have a normal pre-parental dream. Y'know, where I'm the parent. Stupid subconscious making things weird.
Footsteps stomped loudly up the stairs as a tall blur came into view. The closer the got, the easier it was to make out the angular face, the wide light-coloured eyes, and a small pert nose. Oh, it's Valka, definitely pre-dragon raid.
Settling into the dreaming mind state I waited to see what would happen, not bothering to control my dream self. I mean, I'm a baby? What can I do aside from be a witness to the story.
Valka reached her arms out for me, taking me... Hiccup, from Stoic's arms giggling out some words in more of the same gibberish from earlier. Listening to them banter in the strange words I smiled sleepily, wondering if I could remember the words when I wake up, maybe add to what my friend Ariel called Ry-lish, my butchered way of speaking when tired.
Smiling in contentment I felt myself being jostled as I was taken down the stairs and saw the rest of the house. It was smaller than I expected but very cosy, with a fur rug, a large chair by the fireplace, a small dining table with little chairs, and a few cupboards. It was quaint, even if it was more detailed than most of the scenery I saw in dreams.
Valka sat down in the large chair, covered in what I assumed was yak fur, and proceeded to coo at me.
To be honest, I found it cute, and a little funny, experiencing this dream as a baby and decided to play along, grabbing at her finger and giggling happily at the words I knew no meaning for. Each gibberish word was filled with so much love and affection I would not have found it odd to hear it from several of my friends as they play-wrestled with me, warming my heart just a bit.
This continued for a bit until Stoic cuddled us both and left with some affectionate, and apparently cheeky words that had Valka smacking him. Grinning at the exchange, I decided I was content with this dream; it'd been a while since I'd had one so… warm.
That thought was shortly crushed however as Valka decided it was feeding time.
Now, it's not that I was ashamed of breast-feeding; it's just that being the baby receiving sustenance in that way did not appeal to me. Considering I was twenty-three this year, and highly independent, this was mortifying.
Shuddering, I chose to attempt a dream change, or even just wake up.
This resulted in nothing, so I attempted a deeper sleep again, which worked out fine as I felt myself drifting off.
I floated through this phase of deep, dreamless sleep and weird, awkward dreams of being a helpless baby for what felt like a week.
It was during another one of these dreams that I started getting frustrated. I wanted to be awake and I was sick of waiting for my alarm to forcifully pull me out of this mess. I was boooooored. I've even gotten used to the feedings now, and the other uncomfortable helpless baby stuff. Like, sure, listening to Valka and Stoic sing cute songs to each and banter and sometimes fight is cute the first seven or eight times but after that it got boring, so boring I had to entertain myself for what felt like hours by pointing at things and having Valka or Stoic name it in whatever language they were speaking.
Frustrated I rolled over in Valka's lap and started looking for something to hurt myself with. That's how people normally wake up, right? Finding nothing within reach I figured I'd wait for Stoic to come grab me, or…
Eyeing my small baby fist I tried biting it, only to be unnerved by the sensation of wet toothless gums on my hand and the uncomfortable feel of the gums sensitivity.
Sighing, I stopped and looked around again. Maybe…
Glancing up at Valka, I saw that she was still asleep, her hands loosely holding me to her.
Slowly, gently, I nudged her hands away from me and tried rolling off her lap. Then, as I'm about to hit the floor, I'll wake up in a panic, but hey, I'll be awake.
Sadly, that's not how it worked out. Instead as I was about to achieve flight, Valka woke up and screeched, swooping me up in her arms securely.
Damn it Valka, ruining my plans. I JUST WANT OUT.
Growling in my little baby voice, I listened to her coo at me and shush me as if I'd had a fright, really only irritating me more.
"Stoic!" she called as the front door slammed open.
Rolling my eyes over to the chief I reached little hands at him, making grabby motions. Valka chattered very quickly as she handed me over to him and checked me over while I was in his arms.
With a sigh, I scrunched my eyebrows and tried reaching for Stoic's helmet, knowing it was probably wrong to be such a self-destructive baby even if it was a dream, but damn it, I'm mad. I've been dreaming so long I miss my friends, my partners; hell I even almost miss my parents.
Stoic simply chuckled at me and rubbed my small baby face.
Tired, I decided to give it another go later, see if slipping further into sleep will do what's needed.
Later, I was annoyed to find that no matter how much I tried, Stoic, Valka, and eventually even Gobber sotpped me from harming myself in any way possible. So I gave up trying. I'd wake up evenually and remember hardly any of this anyway.
Over what felt like months in this dream I started learning the language properly, finding it pretty easy to pick up despite never hearing it before. Once I found out the word for 'book' though, that's when most of my irritation staved off.
Even though I didn't understand any of the stories being told, I had fun learning the sounds for each of the Nordic runes, and even better was when Valka found a story that had an old song with it, then even Gobber would join in and I'd be able to memorise the lyrics, that I only knew some of the meanings for.
Eventually I understood basic conversations, though I wasn't able to converse back yet with my poor baby motor skills. Soon, maybe though, I tried. Unless I woke up before then, I thought with a sigh.
Pretty soon Valka and Stoic started taking me around Berk, giving me a tour at first before they began introducing me to other members of the Hairy Hooligan tribe. As it was I only recognised a few other characters from the TV series.
Taking me for walks seemed to become a mostly regular thing after that.
Weeks, maybe more months passed in the dream until Stoic took us onto one of the boats. I wasn't sure why we were on a boat as I missed part of the story as I came out of my dreamless state.
It was nice, weird as most of the dream was, but it felt good, having the salty, and chilly wind dash across my face, whipping my short hair all over the place.
Not long into our boat ride Valka handed to me to Stoic and told me she had something for me. Lighting up, I smiled, pretty sure I knew what it was.
Valka pushed a stuffed toy the size of baby me into my small hands. I giggled at it and cuddled the Nadder toy, holding it close for fear of dropping it. It was cute and when I wake up, if I remember, I'll have to look into making one.
And so my dream days continued like that with the occasional boating trip.
I slowly developed enough motor control of my mouth to do something other than gurgle, cry, and giggle, so I decided to surprise Valka with a first word.
This was to make her happy, yes, but mainly all of this was to keep the ever-growing clastrophobia of being trapped in a dream at bay. The dream was taking forever but I knew I had to wake up eventually so I may as well leave the panicking behind.
Cheekily I patted Valka's face and gurgled until she glanced done at me.
"Why, yes, my Hiccup?" she chuckled, rubbing my tummy.
"Drrrag'nn," I cooed, grinning wide as Valka gasped and praised me.
"Stoooic!" she called as she rushed down the stairs, carrying me over to Stoic, bubbling over in parental pride. "He said 'is first word."
"Is that so?" Stoic chuckled whisked me out of Valka's arms. "Well, boy?"
Repeating the word for Stoic, I grinned at him, distantly wondering if maybe this counted as fulfilling one of the conditions for waking up.
Funnily enough though, 'dragon' being 'my' first word seemed to spark an argument between the two as Stoic declared it meant I would be a great dragon slayer, and Valka, well she argued it meant I was going to be a friend to dragons and maybe teach everyone that dragons are good, which, if I could right now, I would say that Valka's right. Mute point though since it's a dream.
Over the next few weeks this seemed to become a common argument between them.
As is it didn't last long.
Seeing as a dragon raid happened at the end of the month.
Going by my messed calculations of this dream, I figured I was a bit over a year old now, which means this is probably the raid where Valka gets taken away.
I mean, hopefully, since that shoud be the last condition to fill to wake up from this dream.
Listening happily to the war cries from the Vikings outside, I got cosier in the cradle holding me, excited to be waking up soon.
A loud crash rang throughout the room as Cloudjumper entered through the window.
Startled I let a loud wail before quickly quietening down. It's just a dream, there's no reason to be scared of the dragon.
Cloudjumper slid closer to me, reaching one long claw down to me, which I happily grabbed onto as I giggled, gazing up at Cloudjumper's wide curious seeming eyes. So cool.
"Hiccup!" Valka shouted as she came skidding to a halt at the top of the stairs, only to see the dragon playfully nudging me with their claw as I giggled.
The cute moment ended as it did in the second movie, with Stoic barging in, startling Coudjumper as they pulled away, ripping open the skin on Hiccup's chin…
My chin, as I screamed, wailed at the actual pain I felt as air instantly hit the wound, causing tears to roll down the sides of my face, mixing with the anxiety that I still hadn't woken up.
I felt Stoic lift me into his arms as he screamed for Valka, as I screamed in pain, in fear, until I passed out.
Blinking open heavy eyes, I found myself bundled against Stoic's chest, too tired to scream as my mind mulled over itself.
Remembering a trick I used to use to ground myself after a particularly bad nightmare, or dissociative episode, I grabbed a handful of Stoic's beard, rubbing it between my fingers as the coarse texture settled me, feeling… real.
Licking my lips I tasted the salt of my tears, turning to smell and smoke filled my nose only to cringe as my hands, my small helpless baby hands, clung to the coarse beard hairs between my hands as I began to hyperventillate.
Even if this was what I thought it was, which it can't be, I shouldn't, should not, have memories of my previous life despite all the wishing I did, and… AND I shouldn't be here!
This is a- a- fantasy world! Fiction! A story that's already been written! I shouldn't be here.
Rolling my head around to be my face in Stoic's, Hiccup's father's, beard I began trembling.
I didn't die. I couldn't have died. I remember everything else I should remember dy-
Hands suffocating me, sounds fading to nothing as I felt blood leaving my wounds-
Snapping out of the memory I started wailing, screaming, crying, hitting my powerless fists against Stoic's chest, his arms cuddling me closer as he too shook and cried.
I WASN'T DONE WITH THAT LIFE!