It was a sunny day out in mid spring. The birds were soaring through the air, the frogs were catching flies in the swamp, and the little kiddies were playing tag with Michael Jackson. It was just any other day. But while this was going on, deep in the Magical Forest an old man wandered, searching for something special.

The man is somewhere in his seventies, with (barely any) white hair, glasses, a Hawaiian print shirt and hiker boots. His name is William Berenson. He is infatuated with a woman named Michelle Pfeiffer who haunts his wildest dreams! Although he has a wife, he often dreams and admires Michelle and spends his days looking up pictures of her on the internet, making sure NO ONE sees.

"MAGICAL FAIRY! OH MAGICAL FAI-RY," William yelled as he searched through the forest, carefully looking behind every tree, in every log, and under every pile of leaves.

"COME TO ME MAGICAL FAIRY!" William pleaded and begged for the Magical Fairy, a.k.a. Michelle Pfeiffer, to come and fulfill his desires. William was a mountain man. He normally spent days and weeks in the mountains. And every time he went into mountains he'd look for the magical fairy, but he could never find her! Even though he'd been looking for many years, he'd never give up to find the lady who's pictures hung on his wall.

As William searched, a strange creature was crouched behind a tree. No, it wasn't the magical fairy. No one is sure WHAT it actually is. I guess you could call it a U.F.O… an Unidentified FREAKY Object. Its name was Stein. It had short brown hair, round glasses, squinty eyes, very thin lips that made its face look like the face of a mole, and a large build with a butt that stuck out for miles, or at least seemed so. The creature was waiting for William. Although it already had a love with the name of Martha, a U.F.O. also, it had always admired William. It had followed him everywhere, waiting for the perfect time to confess its love for the old, wrinkly man.

"MAGICAL FAIRY! Oh -BEEP- it! I'm goin' home for the night. I feel like a corona!" The old man turned around grumbling to him self.

"HEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEGJHEJHDSHGH! HI WILLY," the creature popped out from behind a tree and smiled at William.

"Umm… WHAT THE -BEEP-? GET THE -BEEP- AWAY FROM ME YOU -BEEPIN- PIECE OF -BEEP-," William screamed as he ran out of the forest!

"Oh sweetie, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! I've admired you for soooo long. Remember that time when you were sick and your voice deepened and you started imitating the Kool Aid man? Well ever since then, I can't stop thinking about you."

"You are crazy! I don't want your body. You're fat and ugly. I want to get me a piece of some Magical Fairy babay! That girl is FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE. Hmm… now that I'm looking at you, you're not looking' too bad yourself sweetheart. Maybe we can hang out some time, cutrie," William winked at it and shook his butt for emphasis.

"OH BOY! That'd be swell. We should meet sometime after school to discuss "educational stuff" if you know what I mean," Stein winked at William. "Mmm mmm mm," Stein looked William up and down. "You are one hot ol' man!" Stein licked its finger and poked William, "SIZZZZZZZLE. You are hot just like an oven baby!"

"Okay, now you're getting' weird… and by the way, YOU GET B+ IN ENGLISH," William kicked Stein in the knee and ran. On his way out, he tripped over a bottle of "Root" and rolled down a cliff.

The End of chapter 1! Each chapter is going to be different!