Disclaimer: I do not own Loveless or any of its characters (I wish I did but I don't)
Rating: K
Note: This is my first fan fiction. I decided to submit this due to all the Misaki hating out there. If you read books five and six you see Misaki actually loves Ritsuka. Shure shes unbalnced and abusive but she actually does love him. I wanted to try and think how she would feel about Ritsukas change through her eyes. When I tried I couldn't see her as all that horrible and for any one who rereads the fork sceen in voulume two. She is clearly asking for some one to stop her from hurting Ritsuka. I'm not excusing her actions but I really don't see her as the child murdering demon a lot of people tend to portray her as. Oh well, maybe I should shut up now.
Title: Misaki's Prayer
Dear Lord, help me please.
I want my son back.
Who took him? Where did he go?
Ritsuka, oh my dear little Ritsuka what happened to you? I remember how you would run home straight from school every day and great me with an enthusiastic hug that would send us both spiraling onto the couch. How you would always have so much energy and play so freely with any one you could see. There was always so much love in your tiny little face. It sparkled so brilliantly in your beautiful violet eyes. You would say those beautiful words over and over all day long. I love you, Mother I love you, Father I love you, Seimei I love you.
Life was good and everyone was happy. Every thing and every day was brilliant. I loved my family and my beautiful sons. I lived for those two but in the end they both left me alone. How, how could they leave me? When they were my soul reason for living? Dear God why did you take them from me?
Oh, Ritsuka my lovely little boy. One day you were there and suddenly over night you were gone. Gone was your smiling face replaced with a timid frown. Instead of greeting me with joy you would now shy away and hide. When I would reach for you rather than hug me gleefully back now you cringe at my touch. Gone is your beautiful laughter replaced with such sorrowful tears. How dark my world became with out your shining brilliance.
You're gone and yet every single day I see you standing before me. I see you and I call to you but you never answer me. I hope and I pray but the beautiful light never returns. I love you so much to see you're from standing there so miserably it makes me sick. How do I mourn your loss when I can still see you standing there?
Ritsuka I love you so deeply that I hate you. I hate how you taint my beautiful memories. I hate how you no longer shine. I hate the way hide in your room all day. I hate how you've become the perfect son. I hate how calmly you respond to my every word. I hate how you take me for who I have become. Yes, Ritsuka the thing I truly hate the most about you is how you always forgive me for what I have done.
Dear God, please take this child away.
Protect him from me.
Protect him from the world.
So I can finally grieve as a mother should.