Arthaladdin
Disclaimer: Nothing you see here (except me that is) belongs to me, so please do not sue.
Any similarities to any one else's parody is a coincidence.
Chapter 1: Animation Nights
Across a desert, a lone figure resembling an orange sun riding a green Yoshi laden with junk. The figure, known as Don Patch, was singing as he traveled.
Don Patch: Oh, I come from a land
From a faraway place
Where the caravan Yoshis roam
Where they cut off your ear/where's its flat and immense
If they don't like your face/and the heat is intense
It's barbaric, but hey- it's home
When the wind's at your back
And the sun's from the west
And the sand in the sand in the glass is right
Come on down,
Stop on by,
Hop a carpet and fly
To another Animation night!
Animation nights
Like Animation days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of good ways
Animation nights
'Neath Animation moons
A fool off his guard
Could fall and fall hard
Out there on the dunes…
Don Patch brought his Yoshi to a halt as he was approached by a traveler, a short red-haired boy named Dexter.
"Ah, good evening to you, worthy traveler. Please come closer…" Dexter stepped forward, but came just a little too close. "Woah! Back off buddy!"
"Sorry." The traveler stepped back.
"There we go. Welcome to Animitropolis, city of mysteries, enchantment, and the finest merchandise this side of the Toon Kingdom, on sale today!" He hopped down from his saddle, and began pulling out some objects as he spoke. "Lesee, here's a combination hookah and coffee maker- also good for Julienne fries. Won't break…" He tapped it on the table to prove his point, but it shattered. "Er…never mind."
He threw it away and took out a tupperware set. "This is the famous Ghost Zone Tupperware. Listen…"He then opened the lid and made a raspberry noise. "Hah! Still good!"
"Bah! Your wares are nothing but garbage!" Dexter announced. "I see no reason to spend my time here." He turned away, but Don Patch grabbed him and spun the boy around.
"Wait! Don't leave! I see you're only interested in the exceptionally rare. Perhaps you would prefer…this." He pulled a fist-sized dull pink crystal orb out of nowhere and held it up.
"What's so special about that old thing?" Dexter asked.
"Heh. Don't be fooled by the commonplace appearance!" Don Patch said. "Remember, it's not what's on the outside that counts, rather, it counts on what's on the inside!"
Dexter started to turn away again, but Don Patch stopped him once more.
"This is no ordinary crystal! It once changed the life of a young man, one who was more than he seemed. A diamond in the rough, so to speak. Would you like to hear the tale?"
Dexter paused in thought. "Well, alright then, but it better be worth my time."
Don Patch grinned widely. "Good!" He reached down to grab a handful of sand, which he threw into the air. "Now, our story begins on a dark night, where a dark man with a dark purpose waits…"
In the middle of the desert, a figure sat on the back of a blackish dragon. He was tall, with long white hair and a unibrow wearing white and orange robes with a set of claw-like things on the fingers of his right hand. This man's name was Word Paynn. Floating next to him via jet pack was a dark blue-black creature with bright yellow eyes. It's (Or rather his) name was Bokkun.
The stillness of the air was broken when a figure emerged over the sand dune, a figure dressed in armor with green flames around his head.
"You're late." Word said in a cold, crisp voice.
"A thousand apologies." The figure, Skulker, said.
"Do you have it?"
"Yes, though I had to take out a few worthless pests to get it."
He took out half of a gold pendant that resembled a spider. Word reached out for it, but Skulker pulled it back, saying, "Uh, uh uh! First, the treasure!" Suddenly, Bokkun swooped down, grabbing the medallion piece from him.
"Why you little…"
"Patience, my cybernetic friend," Word told him with a smirk, "You'll get what's coming to you."
He reached into his robes, bringing out the other half of the medallion. He put the pieces together, and the whole thing began to glow before it flew out of his hands, over the dunes.
"Quick! After it!"
Off they rode, following the medallion until they came to a large dune, where the medallion split into two pieces and disappeared into the sand. For a moment, there was silence.
Then the sand rose up, forming a huge set of double doors, white with gold trim, looking very out of place in this environment.
(AN: Think the doors to Kingdom Hearts in the game of the same title.)
"At last, after years of searching…the entrance to the Cave of Mystery!" Word exclaimed. Turning to Skulker, he said, "Now remember. Bring me the crystal orb Everything else is yours!"
As Skulker stepped forwards towards the entrance, Bokuun whispered to Word, "Geez, where did you dig this guy up?"
Word just shushed him and turned to watch Skulker walk up to the doors…which opened with a bang, blowing him backwards. Then a deep voice boomed out, "Who dares disturb my slumber?"
"It is I, Skulker, a humble hunter." Came the reply.
But the voice just said, "Know this: The only ones who may enter are those whose worth lies within. Diamonds in the rough."
Skulker turned to look at Word.
"What are you waiting for!? Get going!" Word snapped.
Hesitantly, Skulker set one foot in the threshold of the cave. When nothing happned, he took a few steps forward…but then the door slammed shut and collapsed back into the sands, leaving behind nothing but the two halves of the medallion.
"Seek out…the diamonds in the rough…" The disembodied voice's words floated like ghosts over the sands and were lost to the winds.
Bokkun pulled himself out of the sand and shouted, "I can't believe this! We're never gonnna get that stupid crystal!"
"Patience, Bokkun." Word told him. "Skulker was obviously less than worthy."
"Gee ya think!?" Bokkun snapped. "Big surprise! What are we gonna do?! We got big problem—"
Word put his hand over the small creature's mouth, shutting him up.
"Yes we do. In order to achieve our goal, we must find these…diamonds in the rough…"
To be continued...