Two young girls sit idly upon chairs in a sweltering back room at their school library. Not even kidding here. It just so happens that today, the 8th of March, has no relevance to either of them whatsoever. Though it was mental eons ago that they came up with the idea for this stupid parody, it is only today that it will be realized.
What will the name of this foolish parody be?
Enter Name
[Homestuck Truth or Dare]
You're kidding aren't you.
Please god say you're kidding.
Enter More Suitable Name
[Hivebent Gospel or Gamble]
That's somewhat better.
You guess.
Tapioca: Alright enough with the introductions, time to check it!
Latte: Hell yeah! Not that I imagine this will last more than a few seconds.
Tapioca: Exactly, time is of the essence. Guess we better to the magic thing.
Latte: Right, maybe we should just get an appearifier.
Tapioca: Yeah, but does that even work on fictional characters?
Latte: What doesn't work on fictional characters?
Tapioca: Aww yea!
The two friends high five. You fail to care.
Latte: So before we go all gung ho with this, perhaps some introductions are in order?
Tapioca: Right! Not like they can read our names every time we speak or anything.
Latte: Exactly. That would never happen. *Taps fourth wall nonchalantly, it shatters. Little care was put into making it.* So I'm Latte and we're about to take you on an embarrassingly interactive adventure with the characters from Homestuck!
Tapioca: And I'm Tapioca, the more annoying one! (But I do more of the writing so I have more of the talent. Told you I was annoying.)
Latte: Don't think I can't hear that subtext.
Tapioca: Lets just get to the point. *flourishes arm, gesturing towards appearifier.*
Latte: Fine have it your way. *Turns towards you* Ready for an adventure yet?
Her grin isn't making you any more convinced. This is not what you bargained for. Why you still clicked after seeing the title is anyone's guess.
Tapioca: Yes, without further ado! WV would you care to do the honors?
WV politely accepts the command, and with his exceptional understanding of human measurement systems, adjusts the appearifier's settings to appearify the Homestuck cast. Yes that's right, all of them.
Homestuck cast: *appears*
Latte: Um, hi everyone. Welcome to hell.
Vriska: *Steps neatly off the appearification pile, using Tavros as a step down* Would someone mind telling me what the 8ig idea is...?
Tapioca: Well as it so happens...
Nepeta: what in the name of clawbeast is this place? oh sollux you're here too?
Sollux: uh...ye2, everyone ii2 ii thiink, can you plea2e get off?
Nepeta: right! sorry about that! *ac pounces away hastily, and lowers her ears apologetically*
Tapioca: So what I was trying to say was...
Kanaya: Equius I Must Request That You Remove Yourself At Once Before My Chainsaw Gets Too Reckless
Equius: *STRONG jump up!* I beg your pardon, I meant not to % your path in such a 100d way
Tapioca: *equips megaphone* ALRIGHT PEOPLE, LESS OF YOU TALKING IN PERFECT CHARACTER AND MORE SHUTTING THE HELL UP WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!
The room falls silent.
Latte: Thank you everyone. It's great you could all be here. *coughs* Now we can explain.
Tapioca: Or skip to the chase and play Gospel or Gamble!
Karkat: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
Tapioca: What is it...well it's a game where we dare each other to do random entertaining things and ask each other embarrassing questions...haven't you ever played?
John: oh so you mean like truth or dare?
Aradia: i think y0u are referring t0 secret spilling and pail filling
Trolls: *General commotion over the embarrassing subject*
Latte: *commotion is ignored* So you guys don't actually call it Gospel or Gamble? Damn, I thought that was a pretty awesome name.
Tapioca: Yeah, I though we were right on the mark with this troll language stuff.
Jake: So we will go in rounds then take turns with the exciting dares?
Latte: Well, actually we have a billion online friends to send in the truths and dares for us!
Tapioca: *whispers* Isn't that exaggerating a bit?
Latte: *Shoosh paps*
Tapioca: *Feigns swooning before returning to the point.* So like Latte, was saying, we're gonna let other people send you truths and dares, gambles and gospels, whatever.
Eridan: wwait just a minute, wwho in the vvast ocean are you people anywway?
Tapioca: *facepalm*
Latte: *double facepalm x2 combo*
Tapioca: I suppose we have to do this ALL over again. Hi, I'm your charming hostess Tapioca!
Latte: And I'm your even more charming hostess, Latte!
Latte used PREVOKE as a potentially offensive move! What will Tapioca's reaction be?
Tapioca: …
Tapioca: That's so true! Anyway, back to the point, we have some rules to lay down.
Feferi: *lets out a glub of relief. Much to the readers surprise, some characters are still releasing themselves from the appearification pile.* First you take us away by FORC-E, now we ) (ave to follow your fishy rules?
Latte: Err, well the rules aren't really being applied to you. They are for our wonderfully devout readers.
Feferi: 3:O ?
Tapioca: Yeah, so anyway, we'll just address our rules back to you. And yes I do mean YOU.
You feel addressed.
Tapioca: I'll begin by saying you are in luck, your authors have no otps! Rather, they ship everything. Everything.
Latte: *whispers* Everything...
You feel sufficiently told about your author's ships.
Tapioca: That said, *Voice lowers dangerously* what we don't want, is to see the same ship, over and over again, sailed till it's halfway across the universe. So please, if your pairing has been addressed...lets wait a little while to readdress it. Or we'll do it for you and postpone your dare to a more appropriate time! 3
Latte: Whew, glad you lightened up at bit at the end there Tapioca. Even I was feeling a bit nervous.
Tapioca: I imagine so! *smiles but evil aura remains.* Now perhaps you'd like to address the other rule concerning the rating?
Latte: Sure thing! So guys, this fic is rated T sooooo anyone who feels inclined to request slightly more mature dares please attempt to keep that in mind.
Tapioca: If we get enough interest in said M-rated dares...I might be willing to open up a separate fic. *WONKWONK*
Roxy: grrl you stule myv lone!
*stile
*stole
*line
Tapioca: Annddd Latte is free to join if she's not too squeamish. (Which she is!) *smirksmirk*
Latte: Again, I can read that subtext. And I'm sure I would, join you that is.
Tapioca: You just tell yourself that baby. But leaving that there...this is still a T-rated fic! Let's keep it that way, m-kay peoples?
Latte: That's it for the rules right?
Tapioca: Believe so...now what?
Terezi: *waves her arms up and down, reference x2 combo!*
Latte: I guess it's time to wrap this thing up, perhaps in a tortilla bread, unless you were thinking of something more like wrapping paper?
Tapioca: Naw, that's cool, taco time it is! But I don't want it to end so soon...
Latte: Believe me, neither do I.
Tapioca: *falls to the floor in agony* I thought it would last forever!
Homestuck cast: *watches a strange soap opera unfold with a skeptical eye*
Latte: *pats Tapioca on the back* Hurry up people! Send in your truths and dares! We're counting on you!
Tapioca: That's right! This is for Liberty! For Justice! For Reason! For MAIL! For SHIPPING!
Rose: I believe I speak for all of us when I say, this is going to be a long indefinite amount of time.
Latte: It may, however that will all be determined by our fans! So again send them in! We're waiting...
Tapioca: and we'll continue to wait...So long sweethearts!
Latte: We love ya'll!
You thoughtfully consider the author's request. I mean, it's so tempting...the review button is only a click away...
In the mean time we, the authors and our appearified cast, enjoy a sunset tan in which we bask in the glory of our newly created monstrosity. Care to join? We've got faygo!
^ u ^