Chapter One:
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I gasp as her frantic eyes, dancing like the ocean, threaten to drown me in my guilt. I am pulled in closer as I catch a glimpse of a tanned hickory baseball bat in the blue-green waters of her eyes. Now all I can see is blood. Blood everywhere. On the pastel walls, on my trembling hands, on the frayed carpet. The horrified expression of my little brother as he stares down at the hickory bat in pieces next to him. Hickory. No longer used much for making baseball bats because of its weight. I don't… I can't remember the details of that night. All I can see is the bat in my hands. What was I thinking? Why did I do it? He… he took me to my baseball games. He drove me to school. How could I have done that? How?
"Hey! Hey, Griggs! You're gonna wake up the whole school if you don't stop screaming."
My eyes fly open and I roll over, maneuvering to a sitting position while holding my head in my hands. The springs underneath my bed creak as Jamie kneels next to me, a concerned look shrouding his face.
"Was it that nightmare again?" Jamie inquires, peering up at my face.
"Yeah. It won't stop. I-I just feel so guilty. I know he was really bad person overall, but I can't stop remembering the few good things that he did for me as well." I answer.
This conversation has become somewhat of a routine between us. Jamie has been my friend ever since the Incident. We help each other get throughout the day, but he helps me the most at night when I can't handle the pain and memories anymore. This is when the visions come to life, and I return to the memory of the Incident that haunts me every night. The memory of me killing my father.
Next thing I remember, there were blue and red lights surrounding me. Sirens were shrieking and wailing in despair, just like I had when I realized what I had done. I had just killed a human being. There is no other way to put it. I should've been locked up. I am a murderer. Not even my own mother could look me in the eye. My little brother was scared of me. They sent me away to boarding school to become trained as a Cadet. They didn't send me away to get a good education. They sent me away so that they could distance themselves from me. How could I live with myself if even they couldn't live in the same house as me?
Jamie stays with me until I finally fall asleep and leave my demons behind. After the Incident, at first, I never was able to fall asleep, because the nightmares followed me no matter what I did. Now, it sometimes takes hours for me to fall asleep, but tonight, all my sleepless nights have finally caught up with me, and I fall into a deep slumber.