Song: I wanna be your girlfriend - Girl in Red
I have never written a serious fanfiction before, so I hope this goes well. Please leave feedback for me in the comments! Thanks!
-Polystyrene
"Come on, Kenny! Tell us, what have you and Ruby done together?" Bebe practically begged to know. Kenny McCormick was at a small house party about an hour away from South Park.
And by 'small', he meant the house was tiny, though the party was quite the opposite; it boomed with people and it was shocking that it hadn't burst at the seams from the amount of party goers in the cramped rooms.
Bebe, Ike, Ruby, Kenny, Karen, Craig and Clyde were sat in a corner of the dimly lit main lounge, occasionally being stood on by a drunken senior. They had been playing truth or dare for the last half an hour, and oh boy was everyone pissed out of their fucking brains.
Apart from Kenny- who was normally the first one to get bollocked.
He was the designated driver tonight. He 'was to get Karen and Ruby home safely' as his father had instructed, and of course he wasn't planning on just leaving Craig behind. Much to his disgust, this meant that he had to stay sober while everyone else drank copious amounts of alcohol.
He shifted awkwardly at the ever-so forward question that Bebe had just asked him.
"Dude! Craig is sat right there! He doesn't wanna know what I've done with his sister."
Craig scratched the nape of his neck.
"He's right- I really don't", Craig was uncomfortable about the situation, too, but not for the reason that people may think.
He was dating Karen McCormick, Kenny's younger sister. Or should he say 'dating'? They weren't really, but the only other people who knew that were Kenny and Ruby. A few months back, Craig and Kenny had made a deal with Ruby and Karen that they would give them all of their pocket money each month if they would pretend to date the others brother. It was a strange deal to make, but it worked out- it stopped the Tucker's parents from constantly asking if Craig was ever going to find a nice girl to settle down with.
On the downside, Thomas Tucker was NOT happy to find out that his little Ruby was dating a McCormick… especially one 3 years older than her and one that just so happened to be Kenny McCormick himself. But Ruby was always happy to take the lectures, as long as it kept her brother safe.
She was aware that if her father found out Craig was actually the one dating Kenny McCormick, she would have to pretend she never had a brother to begin with and she really didn't want to be the one to call the ambulance if Thomas ever found out; whether it was for Thomas himself after a heart attack, or for Craig after Thomas was done with him.
She really hated thinking about it.
Karen, on the other hand, was actually a flaming, closeted lesbian. Therefore it worked out in her favour, too.
Bebe pouted, but decided not to say anymore in respect for both Craig and Kenny. They were her best friends, and she definitely did not want to make them uncomfortable. Mainly because she knew that they were not afraid to punch her in the arm, much like she would, them, if they pushed too hard after she had expressed a negative feeling towards doing something.
Not long after they had moved onto some other shitty, drunken topic, Token appeared out of the crowd, holding a camera. For some reason, he had chosen himself to be the party photographer, much like at some crappy club.
"Yo! Kenny, Ruby, can I get a picture? You guys look so adorable tonight!" Token shouted over the shitty house music, clutching his camera hard.
Kenny glanced at Ruby, who was already posing, before looking back at the self-assigned photographer.
"Sure." He grinned, leaning into Ruby.
The flash went off and before Kenny could move away, Bebe was already squealing at the 'couple'.
"Get one of them kissing!" She smiled while clapping her hands together. She was a mess. Kenny was glad that he didn't have to drive her home tonight.
Token raised his camera, readying to take the next shot.
The pressure was on. They had to kiss and although they had kissed in front of everyone before, they really hated doing it.
Infact, throughout their entire 'relationship', they had kissed a grand total of twice.
One of those times was the day they got together- to make it look more believable. The other time had actually been in front of Kenny's dad, Stuart, after he had asked Kenny if he was sure Ruby was really his girlfriend due to the lack of affection they showed each other.
Sure enough, they kissed and the camera flashed blinding everyone within a metre distance of the two. Before they could pull away, a few teenagers in the crowd around them had turned to see what the flash was. Soon they had people squealing 'Woo!' in encouragement, and so, Kenny and Ruby continued necking on, making it as believable as possible. Kenny even held his hand up to Ruby's chin, as if to keep her there.
Craig fucking hated it. His boyfriend was one of the most popular guys in his grade, so of course he would get this kind of attention, but it made his stomach sink and his heart ache.
He had to excuse himself to the bathroom. Karen was too occupied with her phone to care and everyone else was busy screaming over McCormick and Tucker. The wrong Tucker.
Craig pushed through many dancing teens who were so intoxicated they couldn't even feel him go past. His eyes felt blurry and he couldn't decipher if that was due to his alcohol consumption or because his fucking boyfriend was kissing his fucking sister and he didn't fucking like it.
No one even noticed he was gone.
Except for Kenny.
Soon, Craig found himself curled up on a bed that wasn't his. He was hugging himself, but he wasn't crying. Craig Tucker was not about to cry over something that meant nothing- he was just being a sensitive asshole.
…
There was a knock at the door.
"This room is fucking taken, dickwads. Go find a different place to fuck." Craig shouted both firmly and stubbornly.
Someone opened the door calmly, allowing what was once muffled party music to flood into the room for a brief moment before they shut the door behind them.
Craig turned towards the door.
"I said, go find a diff- oh" Craig trailed off, pulling himself into a sitting position, holding onto his knees.
"It's you."
Kenny didn't answer. He just walked towards the bed and plonked himself down beside the boy in blue. He pulled him into a hug.
Craig was extremely thankful to be dragged into Kenny's orange embrace. His hoodie was soft and it smelled so good.
It smelt of his boyfriend.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak out. I just-" He was interrupted with a kiss that looked and felt a lot more meaningful than the one he had just shared with Craig's sister. A kiss that sent a shiver up Craig's spine as his split tongue met with Kenny's, which homed two silver bars. Kenny's fingertips were resting against Craig's chin, and his other hand was up under Craig's hat, clutching onto his hair. This made Craig feel 1000 times better. He knew that Kenny loved him, and only him.
Eventually, McCormick pulled away.
"Don't be upset, Blue." He smirked at Craig. "I love you, and you know I do."
Craig practically melted.
Blue.
Kenny had always called him it when they were just friends, and it had always given him butterflies. But now… Now it made his body liquefy and turn into a gooey mess.
"I love you too." Craig smiled at his boyfriend before leaning his head down onto his shoulder.
"I just wish you didn't have to kiss people that aren't me."
Kenny frowned, before lifting Craig's head by cupping his hands around his cheeks, pressing a loving kiss onto his boyfriend's forehead.
"It's always you I wish I was kissing." Kenny whispered, looking into Craig's icy blue eyes, which looked cold, as always… but maybe a little less harsh for Kenny.
"I just want to tell the world that you're mine." Craig sighed. It sounded like he had wanted to say it for some time, but there was some kind of barrier in his throat that wouldn't let him. This would make sense, as Craig wasn't exactly the sappy type, believe it or not. This was only happening because he was drunk as fuck.
This caused Kenny to pause.
"I have an awesome idea." He grinned to himself before looking at Craig's face, which was looking rather suggestive.
"And no, it's not fucking. You're a dirty bastard when you're drunk, Craig." Kenny scowled, but in a cute, bubbly way.
"I'm not drunk! You're just hot as fuck." Craig claimed, putting his warm hands up the back of Kenny's hoodie.
"What's this idea of yours?"
Kenny just smiled at him, embracing the warmth from his boyfriend's loving touch before leading him out of the room.
…
Kenny eventually stopped his truck after having driven for 20 minutes. Craig had kept drunkenly asking 'Where the fuck they were going' and 'Where are Ruby and Karen?'
When Kenny got out of the truck, the drunken Boy in Blue followed behind before realising they were at the edge of cliff side road, which looked over a ton of houses- you could see South Park in the distance.
They were far away from everything, everyone. No one knew they were there. (Apart from maybe Ruby and Karen. Craig assumed Kenny had mentioned that they'd be back before they left.)
No one would be able to hear them- Craig felt like he was on top of the world.
"Hey Blue." Kenny smirked, grabbing his hand.
Blue.
Craig smiled, moving his head to look at his other half. The blond boy was staring at him with his beautiful, soft looking ocean eyes. He looked so smug and peaceful- like he was looking at something that meant a lot to him.
Tucker felt his cheeks getting warm.
"Watch this." Kenny nodded at his boyfriend before walking over to the barricade that protected cars from a very big drop. He opened his arms while facing out at all the people of cold Colorado.
"HEY, COLORADO- MY NAME IS KENNY MCCORMICK AND I REALLY LIKE HAVING SEX WITH CRAIG FUCKING TUCKER!" He shouted. Weirdly enough, they actually hadn't had sex yet. They were too nervous.
Everyone he knew was so fucking homophobic, and he hated keeping him and Craig a secret. He really, really wanted everyone out there to know just how god damn proud he was to call Craig Tucker his.
But he also really didn't want to be beaten to fuck by his brother and father.
He definitely did NOT want Craig to suffer the same fate, either.
Craig started laughing hard, the wind cascading through his dark hair. He was so in love with Kenny, but he felt so damn weird saying it out loud. He only ever really said it when drunk. His eyes glistened softly, like there was a thin layer over them of pure admiration for McCormick.
"Wahooo!" Craig screamed, holding his arms out titanic style.
"I fucking love you, Douche-nugget"
This almost made Douche-nugget blush. Almost."I love you too, Blue."
Kenny got all giddy when Craig was drunk. He loved the attention that he was given and that Craig dropped his 'I care for no one' persona that he always had. The bitter cold air between them hung in the sweetest way. All they did in that moment was simply look into eachothers eyes and smile. They ignored the light which shon from the many towns ahead of them, the yellow flicks of light looked like eyes observing them.
It was almost as if the world was watching, and it finally knew.
"C'mon sunshine, let's make our way back to the party." Kenny beamed up at the drunk version of the BFG before standing on his tiptoes to quickly peck him on the nose.
…
Their secret had started a few months back. Kenny and Craig were getting high as usual at the McCormicks residence, when Bebe and Clyde suggested they go 'have some fun' in Stark's Pond- it had been a pretty hot summer, so it was unlikely that it was frozen over like it naturally was in South Park.
Kenny had driven them there and they all had got even more stoned than they were to begin with upon arrival.
It had been quite a warm night that night. They all made some… decisions.
If 'decisions' meant getting naked and diving into the pond, then sure. Decisions.
Clyde, Bebe and Ike all had gotten completely naked. They were in the water before you could even point out the fact that they were clothless. At this point, Kenny and Craig both looked at each other almost helplessly until Kenny smirked.
"I'll do it if you do it." He had whispered.
Craig almost smiled at this, but even fucked out of his face on weed there was no way he was doing it. He raised his middle finger.
"Fuck you McCormick." He grinned. "You wish you were lucky enough to see my dick."
This made Kenny laugh and return the gesture. "One day, Tucker. Boxers it is then?"
Craig was actually sort of blushing at this point. Kenny had managed to make the giant blush?
He felt ever so impressed with himself.
Eventually, the two of them dived into the water together. Their skinny, pale bodys were illuminated by the full moon as they splashed hard into the cold liquid below them.
"Eeeek!" Bebe squealed as they splashed her. "It's so fucking cold! How come you guys didn't get fully… you know…" She questioned.
"Why would I get my dick out in front of a bunch if guys, Bebe?" Craig answered her with another question and a middle finger, though his was question rhetorical.
"Yeah, that would be fucking gay." Kenny smirked at Clyde and Ike, who hadn't even hesitated when given the option to strip with Bebe. The two boys looked at each other before looking back at Kenny.
"Hey! We ain't no fags!" Ike shouted in his defense. Clyde shook his head with his eyebrows pinched in agreement with the small boy to his right.
Bebe simply laughed. "You boys are too afraid of sexuality."
She moved on from the sentence as quickly as she said it, turning to start a splash fight with all the boys.
This had made Craig feel uncomfortable at the time, because he was always so unsure on what his sexuality was. Sure, he did really like that Tweek Tweak kid for a little while. And he had this weird thing for Kenny, but that meant nothing… right? Craig Tucker was NOT gay. He had decided that after a lot of hate speeches from his dad and from the look Tweek gave him when he joked about liking him.
The thought of Tweek had made him wince, hard. Like a fresh wound with salt poured straight into it.
Of course, when the police turned up, Craig and Kenny had to make a quick getaway. Meanwhile Clyde, Bebe and Ike had all ran behind a bush, assuring Kenny they would find their own way home.
Things changed for Craig when Kenny tried to drop him at the Tucker house, but he found that Thomas Tucker had locked him out and taken away the spare key.
It meant that he had to go stay at the McCormick house for the night. Although back then he didn't want to, he now classed it as the best thing to have happened to him.
When they had finally gotten back Kenny's, they both got out of their now-wet clothing and put on some of Kenny's clothes. Not that he had many for them to get into. Craig was still grateful, even if the top he had on was covered in holes from general wear and tear- and from the rats that lived in the house he was taking refuge in that night.
Whether it was because they were high, or because Kenny had snuck some of his fathers vodka into the room, they soon started chatting shit. Conversation soon drifted to what Bebe had said earlier that night.
"Yeah, afraid of sexuality? Who does she think she is? I ain't afraid of anything. In fact, I could kiss you right now, if I wanted to." Craig recalled Kenny saying. He couldn't quite remember what he had replied with, but he did remember that the conversation had ended with Kenny giving him a blowjob after a hardcore make out session.
It wasn't difficult to express their attraction towards each other after that. Soon enough Craig was going around Kenny's house every day, or Kenny came to his house. They felt almost like Romeo and Juliet.
That's when the sister deal came in.
Because one day, Thomas Tucker had asked why Craig was spending so much time at the McCormick's and Craig didn't really have an answer other than…
"I'm seeing Kenny's sister, Karen." He had whispered quietly, afraid that his dad could hear the gay in his voice if he were to speak any louder. A wide smile had grown on Thomas's face.
"Thank fuck for that, I was worried that you were a faggot for a second there." He smiled to himself, actually proud to have been wrong.
Craig had then spent that afternoon at the McCormick's, ranting into Kenny's orange hoodie and trying to come up with a plan. This vent contained many middle finger raises to the empty air. Karen had walked into the room half-way through another rant because she had heard his mumbling and came to tell him to shut the fuck up.
When Kenny explained the situation to her (which she listened to carefully, word for word), she actually smiled at the idea, to her brother's surprise. He was ready to have to threaten her to keep her homophobic mouth zipped.
"That's… perfect" Craig remembered her squealing, with a huge smile on her face that had reminded him of Kenny's smile, except his was missing his left canine tooth, which made him even more fucking adorable to Craig.
Karen had then explained that she was a lesbian.
Her brother hadn't seemed all that shocked as his reaction consisted of him continuing playing with Craig's hair and just nodding at her, quietly.
She mentioned that it would come with a cost.
The conditions were that she got a certain amount of money from each of them per month (apparently it was 'money to buy things to distract her from pussy for a while', which made Craig cringe a little, but Kenny hadn't seemed bothered) and that she got to end the relationship whenever she wanted.
The only exception to this rule was that Craig could end the relationship should his and Kenny's secret love get out. Then they would explain to everyone.
Basically, as long as Karen got money and control, she didn't mind.
Ruby had been a lot harder to convince. She wouldn't take money bribes or any sort of similar conditions to Karen. In fact, she didn't say yes until she heard Thomas raging about there apparently being some secret fags in town, and that they should be exterminated. Apparently, the parent's should be ashamed and If he were to find one in his house, he promised they would die painfully. Ruby hadn't liked the idea of that.
This was around 5 months ago now, July time.
…
When the secret couple got back to the party, they were flooded with questions as to why they left without saying goodbye.
Craig had momentarily forgotten that Kenny was so popular and wasn't just his. None of these people appeared to be talking to him, just his lover. Everyone knew that they were best friends, but they still brushed Craig off as though he wasn't there. Craig was now back into his bad mood, so he pushed past the hordes of people to go find Bebe.
It wasn't a difficult job; she had been where they left her about an hour prior except now she was making out with Clyde, and the Broflovski brother was smoking a joint.
"Hey, Ike. Can I get a toke?" Craig asked sadly, plonking himself down onto the brown carpet beside the boy. He put his head in his hands and grabbed the vodka that Bebe had brought with her. Most of it was gone now, but he didn't care and Bebe was too busy feeling up Donovan for her to even notice. He took a long swig of the alcohol, recoiling a little but shrugging it off anyway.
"Sure man, here you go…" Ike handed it over. He knew better than to give a drunk person a joint, but he also knew better than to say no to pissed Craig in a bad mood. He really didn't want to be met by Craig's fist like he had so many times before.
Craig took a hard drag on the spliff that lay between two of his rough looking fingers.
Soon his problems fell dead and he was dancing with all the other brain-dead teenagers in the room- dancing as if nothing mattered.
Soon a drunk Bebe got off of her boyfriend-not-boyfriend's lap and was soppily dancing with a certain Craig Tucker. To be fair, all that Craig could actually see was a blurry red outline which sort of resembled what Bebe was wearing earlier that night… a small and tight red dress.
His awful vision would hopefully explain his awful dancing- that, and the fact he was continuously scanning the crowd for someone in an orange hoodie. This made him look sloppier than he actually would be, he told himself. The lack of the dirty blonde was just filling him with more disappointment. He wanted to go home, but Kenny was his ride.
…
When they were eventually back at the McCormick's after dropping Ruby home, Craig had disappeared straight into Kenny's room and dumped himself on the mattress on the floor. Normally, he would have to go into Karen's room for at least an hour so that Kenny's parents thought he was here for her and not her elder brother, but tonight was different as it was already 3am, meaning Kenny's parents were in bed by now.
Kenny waved goodnight to his drunk sister before walking into his bedroom. He perched on the end of the mattress and looked down at his sleepy giant. His navy blue jacket hung loosely over his pale, skinny body. His eyes were already closed and he looked very comfortable, cuddling into one of Kenny's pillows.
"Hey, Blue. You can't keep your jeans on while you sleep, you Jizz Stick." Kenny grinned at his tired looking boyfriend.
"But I'm fucking tired, Jizz Stick" Craig replied, not moving or opening his eyes at all. Craig's exhaustion became apparent to Kenny when he reused the insult.
"Shall I take them off for you?"
Tucker opened one eye and looked up at him.
"Will you stop assuming that everything I do is because I want to fuck you?" McCormick raised his voice very slightly, grinning at the suggestion.
"Are you suggesting you wouldn't want to?" Craig grumbled in his very tired voice, his eye closing again.
"Not while you're drunk. Now- pants off or on?" A laugh escaped his mouth.
Craig grunted and turned onto his back with his eyes still shut tightly. This was his signal for his partner to go ahead.
And so, Kenny pulled down Craig's trousers, revealing his NASA underwear.
This forced the dirty blond to smile slightly, allowing a small huff to fall out of his nose as his loving eyes appreciated the material. Craig adored space, it was a secret obsession. Much like Kenny's weird obsession with Shakespeare. A secret. Everything had to be a secret in this town.
God fucking damnit.
Kenny shook the thoughts out of his head, before taking off his own trousers and climbing into bed with Craig, pulling the tall boy into his arms and leaning over to click off the lamp next to the bed. He held Craig tightly- afraid that if he didn't keep a tight hold on him he would leave and find someone better. A girl better than him. One that wouldn't have to hide him away from everyone they knew.
He mindlessly traced outlines onto Craig's bare leg.
"Blue? Are you still awake?" He whispered.
Craig groaned quietly in response, as if he was about to lose consciousness any second now.
Kenny smiled. "You mean the world to me." He reassured... Maybe these sweet words would be enough to make sure Blue stayed.
There was no response from the boy in the blue hat.
Kenny slowly pulled the hat from Craig's head. He loved how Craig smelled. He took pleasure in having Craig's soft, dark hair on show for him to cuddle into. He knew that awake, sober Craig wouldn't let him do any of this. He would refuse most of the affection and would absolutely NOT let Kenny remove his hat. Or touch his hair.
He was strange like that.
Craig was an oddly… private person, and he hated everyone.
Well- everyone except Kenny, he hoped.
While Kenny had a best friend- Clyde, Craig didn't really have one. Sure he had a group of 'best friends' but none of them were like Kenny and Clyde were. Craig used to have someone like that; Tweek Tweak. This was before Tweek had decided that Craig was way too much pressure for him to handle, and had basically outcasted him to hang out with Butters instead. Someone who was apparently a lot less pressure.
Kenny liked to think he was Craig's best friend.
His mind over-thought a lot while his boyfriend slept soundly beside him. He decided that he best do that, too.
And so, he did.