The Second Chance
By the Utopian Anarchist
December 22nd, 2006
"Harry Potter and Remus Lupin are dead, Severus." Dumbledore said flatly, his twinkling eyes dimmed and only one pure emotion shining through them...anger.
"I'm sorry Headmaster, I didn't know it was a trap! The Dark Lord knew I was working with you and used that to his advan.."
"Leave my office now Severus. You are no longer considered an ally to the Order." Dumbledore interrupted, sounding tired and defeated.
"What!? You can't so this to me Albus! It wasn't my fault! I didn't know! If you send me away, I'll be dead within the hour. Weren't you listening?? THE DARK LORD KNOWS!! He knows of my betrayal. If I go out there, I'll be dead before I can say 'Merlin'!" Snape cried, jumping to his feet.
"Go Severus. Go now and never come back. I shall give you twenty minutes before I notify the Ministry Severus Snape is a traitor and is responsible for Remus Lupin and Harry Potter's deaths." Dumbledore said quietly. Snape stared at him, open mouthed. The one man he'd decided to trust, the one person who he'd put what little faith he had left into...was calling him a murderer and a traitor.
"Fine." Snape spat, turning on his heel and heading for the door, "Good luck finding a new potions master." He threw over his shoulder with a grim sort of amusement before sweeping down the flight of steps and out into the cold night air.
Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived...was dead.
And what's more, it was all Snape's fault. He'd been foolish enough to believe it when Voldemort claimed he had found out the Order of the Pheonix's HQ location was and was planning on killing Harry that night. Snape had immediately gone to Dumbledore and told him to move Harry and Lupin to a safer location, suggesting the other safe-house in Ireland. Dumbledore had immediately complied, oblivious to the fact that the Death- eaters had found out about the safe-house and were waiting within it to ambush them. They didn't stand a chance. The very moment they arrived, Lupin was shot in the back with the Killing Curse and Harry followed him at the end of Voldemort's wand.
Snape suppressed a shudder and swallowed down the growing lump in his throat, his fingernails biting so hard into this palms he could feel his warm, slick blood wet on his hands. He wasn't sure where he was walking to, or why, all he knew was he was going to die. Within the hour in fact. He wasn't being melodramatic with Dumbledore. Now that Voldemort had regained his power, Snape was a gonner. "I'm sorry." He whispered to whatever higher power existed...if there even was one. And even if there was, what use was there in praying for forgiveness now? He was damned anyway. When he was young, he always used to pray all the time. He'd pray that he would wake up and find out it was all a dream. That he didn't live with his cruel Grandmother, and that his mother was still alive and that his father wasn't in Azkaban for her murder.
"What are doing here human?" A voice startled him out of his musings. He looked around, his eyes widening when he realized he was standing in the Forbidden Forest surrounded by angry centaurs...he hadn't even noticed he was outside.
"I'm waiting to die." Snape answered truthfully, too tired to even attempt to reach for his wand. To his surprise, the centaurs didn't take his answer as an invitation and instead, began to argue amongst themselves.
"...Can't you see Bane? The stars have foretold of this. The man with no will left shall go and restore the balance that has been disturbed." One was saying angrily to another.
"We cannot be sure of this though, can we Oak?" Bane replied, addressing another centaur.
"We can never be sure Bane. But I agree with River, we should take heed of the signs." Oak said, his dark brown tail swishing irritably back and forth. The conversation continued in a language Snape wasn't familiar with and so he simply stared at them silently, wondering when they'd remember he was still here. Eventually, Bane nodded reluctantly and the group faced him again.
"What is your deepest desire?" He asked Snape expectantly. Snape frowned, "It's none of your buis..."
"What is your deepest desire human!? Do not try my patience for I am not in the mood for a human's silly games." Bane snapped. Snape simply glared at him. He wouldn't be intimidated by a man who spent his whole life naked.
"My deepest desire is for another chance. For a way to correct past mistakes. But that can never happen so I'd just be happy with a cup of challomile tea." Snape said, his voice dripping with sarcasm to hide the genuine despair in his voice.
"You see?" Oak said triumphantly. Bane narrowed his eyes at the other centaur and didn't back down until Oak had lowered his head respectfully.
"Time is a simple thing to long for, though many do not make use of it wisely." Bane said to Snape, his eyes searching, calculating.
"The young never appreciate youth." Snape muttered darkly. Bane seemed satisfied with this answer and Snape didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "So that's it? You're just going to let me go?" He asked incredulously.
"Yes." River replied, his grey coat shining brightly, even though the thin slivers of moonlight barely touched him.
"Use your time wisely." Bane said. Snape frowned, wondering what he meant, when suddenly, he felt as though he were being pulled backwards by an invisible rope. The rope was terribly painful, yanking him so hard he could barely breathe. He was flying...spinning...and then...
"Impendimenta!" A voice shouted, sending him flying backwards and landing on the grass with a hard *thunk*. He lay panting on the ground, confused and severely winded. He suddenly realized it was daytime and that there were people standing around him...two of whom, were dead.
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" Asked an obnoxious, familiar voice from somewhere above him.
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," Another joined in, equally mocking. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word." The voice added, causing eruptions of laughter to break out through the onlookers. Snape gulped hard and stared fearfully up at the two young boys, the two young boys who were supposed to have died years ago.
"Sirius Black...James Potter?" He asked, utterly and completely confused. Why was he here? On the day of one of his worst adolescent memories? How was it even possible??
"What's the matter Snivelly? Hit your head and forgot who we were? Or are the fumes from your socks finally getting to you?" Sirius sneered, causing more laughter.
"Impossible...utterly impossible.." He said under his breath.
"What's that? Can't quite hear you Snivellus, but I'm guessing it wasn't very nice. Wash your mouth out." James said coldly. "Scourgify!" Snape felt like retching when the pink bubbles frothed at his lips and the disgusting taste of soap filled his mouth. Like when his grandmother used to wash his mouth out when he tried to talk about his father. It was choking him, making him gag-
"Leave him ALONE!" Another voice belonging to someone who he'd never thought he'd see again. Lily Potter...no, not Lily Potter...Lily Evans. Thick, dark red hair that fell to her shoulders, startlingly green eyes...
"All right Evans?" James asked, his voice lower, deeper and suddenly pleasant.
"Leave him alone." Lily repeated, though Snape couldn't see her due to coughing up the soap bubbles. "What's he done to you?" She asked James contemptuously.
"Well...it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..." He said, causing the crowd dissolve into laughter once more. But Lily certainly didn't laugh.
"You think you're funny but you're just an arrogant, bullying toe-rag, Potter. Leave him alone!"
"I will if you go out with me Evans," James said, making Snape's stomach churn even more, "Go on. Go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." Snape coughed up the last of the bubbles and searched frantically for his wand. This time, he'd be more prepared. This time...
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.
"Bad luck Prongs...OI!" Sirius shouted, noticing Snape as he pointed the wand at James. This time Severus would get him right in the...no! He'd missed AGAIN. And...oh look. He was upside down. Well this wasn't something new. He grimaced as the crowd cheered and his Saviour, Lily, actually had to stop herself from smiling in amusement. He had noticed that last time. He'd noticed it and it had hurt more than any of Sirius or James's little pranks.
"Let him down!" She cried indignantly.
"Certainly." James replied. And then Snape was falling. But he'd remembered to put his arms out first this time, so his head didn't hurt half as much. He struggled to his feet when,
"Pertrificus Totalus!" And surprise surprise...he was falling again.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily's voice rang out as she drew her wand from her robes.
"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James.
"Take the curse off him then!" Lily insisted. James sighed and turned to Snape, muttering the counter curse under his breath. "There you go...You're lucky Evans was here Snivellus.." Snape paused, wondering what to say. In his memories, he had told Lily she was a Mudblood...but now...should he? What was this place anyway? A sort of hell? Was he dead...or dreaming...or...the centaur. What had he asked?...ah yes, what is your deepest desire. And Snape had answered, a second chance to correct past mistakes...could this be it? Snape was so engulfed with his thoughts, he didn't even notice the conversation happening before him.
"Oh shut it James." Lily hissed, narrowing her eyes at the boys as Snape simply stared blankly into space. James put his hands in his pockets and grinned nodding towards the stock still boy.
"Maybe he took one too many hits on the head eh Padfoot?" James sneered. Lily scowled at him and gently placed a hand on Snape's shoulder.
"Even if he did he'd still be alot smarter than an utter show off like you. Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you just got off a broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down the corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you because you can-I'm surprised your broom can get off the ground with your fat head on it. You make me SICK!" She shouted before taking hold of one of Snape's arms and causing him to jump. "C'mon Severus." She said, handing him his wand and the OWL papers he'd been going through and marching off with him attached to her arm. James scowled after them,
"Oh, Snivellus is going to pay for that one." He muttered, grinding his teeth together.
"Yup. I smell revenge for old Snivelly." Sirius agreed, steering James back towards where Remus was sitting and discussing plans as he walked.
TO BE CONTINUED
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So, what do you think? Questions? Comments?
By the Utopian Anarchist
December 22nd, 2006
"Harry Potter and Remus Lupin are dead, Severus." Dumbledore said flatly, his twinkling eyes dimmed and only one pure emotion shining through them...anger.
"I'm sorry Headmaster, I didn't know it was a trap! The Dark Lord knew I was working with you and used that to his advan.."
"Leave my office now Severus. You are no longer considered an ally to the Order." Dumbledore interrupted, sounding tired and defeated.
"What!? You can't so this to me Albus! It wasn't my fault! I didn't know! If you send me away, I'll be dead within the hour. Weren't you listening?? THE DARK LORD KNOWS!! He knows of my betrayal. If I go out there, I'll be dead before I can say 'Merlin'!" Snape cried, jumping to his feet.
"Go Severus. Go now and never come back. I shall give you twenty minutes before I notify the Ministry Severus Snape is a traitor and is responsible for Remus Lupin and Harry Potter's deaths." Dumbledore said quietly. Snape stared at him, open mouthed. The one man he'd decided to trust, the one person who he'd put what little faith he had left into...was calling him a murderer and a traitor.
"Fine." Snape spat, turning on his heel and heading for the door, "Good luck finding a new potions master." He threw over his shoulder with a grim sort of amusement before sweeping down the flight of steps and out into the cold night air.
Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived...was dead.
And what's more, it was all Snape's fault. He'd been foolish enough to believe it when Voldemort claimed he had found out the Order of the Pheonix's HQ location was and was planning on killing Harry that night. Snape had immediately gone to Dumbledore and told him to move Harry and Lupin to a safer location, suggesting the other safe-house in Ireland. Dumbledore had immediately complied, oblivious to the fact that the Death- eaters had found out about the safe-house and were waiting within it to ambush them. They didn't stand a chance. The very moment they arrived, Lupin was shot in the back with the Killing Curse and Harry followed him at the end of Voldemort's wand.
Snape suppressed a shudder and swallowed down the growing lump in his throat, his fingernails biting so hard into this palms he could feel his warm, slick blood wet on his hands. He wasn't sure where he was walking to, or why, all he knew was he was going to die. Within the hour in fact. He wasn't being melodramatic with Dumbledore. Now that Voldemort had regained his power, Snape was a gonner. "I'm sorry." He whispered to whatever higher power existed...if there even was one. And even if there was, what use was there in praying for forgiveness now? He was damned anyway. When he was young, he always used to pray all the time. He'd pray that he would wake up and find out it was all a dream. That he didn't live with his cruel Grandmother, and that his mother was still alive and that his father wasn't in Azkaban for her murder.
"What are doing here human?" A voice startled him out of his musings. He looked around, his eyes widening when he realized he was standing in the Forbidden Forest surrounded by angry centaurs...he hadn't even noticed he was outside.
"I'm waiting to die." Snape answered truthfully, too tired to even attempt to reach for his wand. To his surprise, the centaurs didn't take his answer as an invitation and instead, began to argue amongst themselves.
"...Can't you see Bane? The stars have foretold of this. The man with no will left shall go and restore the balance that has been disturbed." One was saying angrily to another.
"We cannot be sure of this though, can we Oak?" Bane replied, addressing another centaur.
"We can never be sure Bane. But I agree with River, we should take heed of the signs." Oak said, his dark brown tail swishing irritably back and forth. The conversation continued in a language Snape wasn't familiar with and so he simply stared at them silently, wondering when they'd remember he was still here. Eventually, Bane nodded reluctantly and the group faced him again.
"What is your deepest desire?" He asked Snape expectantly. Snape frowned, "It's none of your buis..."
"What is your deepest desire human!? Do not try my patience for I am not in the mood for a human's silly games." Bane snapped. Snape simply glared at him. He wouldn't be intimidated by a man who spent his whole life naked.
"My deepest desire is for another chance. For a way to correct past mistakes. But that can never happen so I'd just be happy with a cup of challomile tea." Snape said, his voice dripping with sarcasm to hide the genuine despair in his voice.
"You see?" Oak said triumphantly. Bane narrowed his eyes at the other centaur and didn't back down until Oak had lowered his head respectfully.
"Time is a simple thing to long for, though many do not make use of it wisely." Bane said to Snape, his eyes searching, calculating.
"The young never appreciate youth." Snape muttered darkly. Bane seemed satisfied with this answer and Snape didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "So that's it? You're just going to let me go?" He asked incredulously.
"Yes." River replied, his grey coat shining brightly, even though the thin slivers of moonlight barely touched him.
"Use your time wisely." Bane said. Snape frowned, wondering what he meant, when suddenly, he felt as though he were being pulled backwards by an invisible rope. The rope was terribly painful, yanking him so hard he could barely breathe. He was flying...spinning...and then...
"Impendimenta!" A voice shouted, sending him flying backwards and landing on the grass with a hard *thunk*. He lay panting on the ground, confused and severely winded. He suddenly realized it was daytime and that there were people standing around him...two of whom, were dead.
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" Asked an obnoxious, familiar voice from somewhere above him.
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," Another joined in, equally mocking. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word." The voice added, causing eruptions of laughter to break out through the onlookers. Snape gulped hard and stared fearfully up at the two young boys, the two young boys who were supposed to have died years ago.
"Sirius Black...James Potter?" He asked, utterly and completely confused. Why was he here? On the day of one of his worst adolescent memories? How was it even possible??
"What's the matter Snivelly? Hit your head and forgot who we were? Or are the fumes from your socks finally getting to you?" Sirius sneered, causing more laughter.
"Impossible...utterly impossible.." He said under his breath.
"What's that? Can't quite hear you Snivellus, but I'm guessing it wasn't very nice. Wash your mouth out." James said coldly. "Scourgify!" Snape felt like retching when the pink bubbles frothed at his lips and the disgusting taste of soap filled his mouth. Like when his grandmother used to wash his mouth out when he tried to talk about his father. It was choking him, making him gag-
"Leave him ALONE!" Another voice belonging to someone who he'd never thought he'd see again. Lily Potter...no, not Lily Potter...Lily Evans. Thick, dark red hair that fell to her shoulders, startlingly green eyes...
"All right Evans?" James asked, his voice lower, deeper and suddenly pleasant.
"Leave him alone." Lily repeated, though Snape couldn't see her due to coughing up the soap bubbles. "What's he done to you?" She asked James contemptuously.
"Well...it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..." He said, causing the crowd dissolve into laughter once more. But Lily certainly didn't laugh.
"You think you're funny but you're just an arrogant, bullying toe-rag, Potter. Leave him alone!"
"I will if you go out with me Evans," James said, making Snape's stomach churn even more, "Go on. Go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." Snape coughed up the last of the bubbles and searched frantically for his wand. This time, he'd be more prepared. This time...
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.
"Bad luck Prongs...OI!" Sirius shouted, noticing Snape as he pointed the wand at James. This time Severus would get him right in the...no! He'd missed AGAIN. And...oh look. He was upside down. Well this wasn't something new. He grimaced as the crowd cheered and his Saviour, Lily, actually had to stop herself from smiling in amusement. He had noticed that last time. He'd noticed it and it had hurt more than any of Sirius or James's little pranks.
"Let him down!" She cried indignantly.
"Certainly." James replied. And then Snape was falling. But he'd remembered to put his arms out first this time, so his head didn't hurt half as much. He struggled to his feet when,
"Pertrificus Totalus!" And surprise surprise...he was falling again.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily's voice rang out as she drew her wand from her robes.
"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James.
"Take the curse off him then!" Lily insisted. James sighed and turned to Snape, muttering the counter curse under his breath. "There you go...You're lucky Evans was here Snivellus.." Snape paused, wondering what to say. In his memories, he had told Lily she was a Mudblood...but now...should he? What was this place anyway? A sort of hell? Was he dead...or dreaming...or...the centaur. What had he asked?...ah yes, what is your deepest desire. And Snape had answered, a second chance to correct past mistakes...could this be it? Snape was so engulfed with his thoughts, he didn't even notice the conversation happening before him.
"Oh shut it James." Lily hissed, narrowing her eyes at the boys as Snape simply stared blankly into space. James put his hands in his pockets and grinned nodding towards the stock still boy.
"Maybe he took one too many hits on the head eh Padfoot?" James sneered. Lily scowled at him and gently placed a hand on Snape's shoulder.
"Even if he did he'd still be alot smarter than an utter show off like you. Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you just got off a broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down the corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you because you can-I'm surprised your broom can get off the ground with your fat head on it. You make me SICK!" She shouted before taking hold of one of Snape's arms and causing him to jump. "C'mon Severus." She said, handing him his wand and the OWL papers he'd been going through and marching off with him attached to her arm. James scowled after them,
"Oh, Snivellus is going to pay for that one." He muttered, grinding his teeth together.
"Yup. I smell revenge for old Snivelly." Sirius agreed, steering James back towards where Remus was sitting and discussing plans as he walked.
TO BE CONTINUED
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So, what do you think? Questions? Comments?