Author Note: Please do not read if you haven't read OotP, major spoiler included in this story!
Warning: This is slash, don't like it don't read it.
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| Warning Spoiler…
~*~
As Remus found the small spot by the lake at Hogwarts where Sirius had been buried he fell to his knees and sobbed. His hands ripping at the grass underneath him with anger and frustration. He then looked up into the night sky and then backs down and started to talk.
"What have I done that you leave me behind like nothing had been between us? Has all this love we had shared once again not warned you of doing anything silly, anything dangerous that could keep you apart from me? Why? Why have you followed us, why did you even have to spurt your cousin even more, so far she killed you?
Had you forgotten our promise over the concern off your godson, or better to say, our godson. Remembering of never having told Harry the fact of us two being his godfathers, only that Ministry avoided that fact and hadn't want to let a child in the care of a Werewolf. I remember quite clearly the night when James and Lily had come over to our house and asked us to take in that duty. And yes how you beamed of joy and contentment… you were so happy… you were so brave we never saw this coming.
The evening had been so wonderful… the mere memory of it paining me, the mere memory of you my love, my mate, my bright shining star is paining me, and it is practically killing me.
Can you see this? I hope you can, I hope you can see how you are destroying me! Killing me with mere thought of you! I hope you regret coming ever on this world! I hope you start mourning all over again, blaming yourself for everything you have done. Because I hate you! I hate you for everything you've done to Harry and me! You've not only ruined my life by now, but also Harry's.
Oh god… I am sorry… I didn't mean… oh god I am sorry… I love you… I love you…
You should have seen Harry; he didn't even cry he was so brave so strong. And now look at me; I am nothing but a coward. I don't know what to do anymore, look at me. I am clothed in shabby rags, not being able to afford anything else, I cry every night, every day just because of you.
Come back to me… please Paddy I need you."
With those words Remus fell asleep on the place where Sirius was buried curled in a small ball, still crying in his sleep for his lost mate.
~*~
You'll always be in our hearts. May your soul be freed, R.I.P. Padfoot we will never forget you.