"It's a three-pronged kunai," Tenten says to the customer, who looks no older than a genin freshly graduated from the Academy.
She remembers being that age once. Smooth skin. Brimming with potential. Unaware of what was to befall her team. Back then, she had dreams of becoming a legendary kunoichi like Tsunade. Now, she's the owner of a failing weapons business, each day inching closer to bankruptcy.
Back then, Neji was alive. Now—
"Three prongs?" the customer asks, running his finger along one of the blades. "We never used anything like this at the Academy."
Tenten grabs a matching kunai from the display, twirls it around her index finger. "That's because it takes more skill to master than your standard kunai. But when you do, it's more than worth it."
She can see it in his eyes, her first sale this week. It's a Thursday.
"Tell you what, kid," she says. "If you buy a set of six, then I'll throw in a free lesson."
"Wow, really?"
Maybe she won't have to ask Lee for a loan again. He was happy to help her the first time, of course, but she still hasn't gotten over the humiliation of hitting rock bottom. She, who once dreamed of becoming a legendary kunoichi, can't even make payments for her shop, not to mention her apartment, on time.
That's why it was such a blessing when the Chuunin Exams rolled around. Being a proctor paid well while it lasted, but even that money ran dry eventually.
"Wait a minute," the customer says, eyeing the price tag. "Just 'cause it's got three prongs, it's three times the price of a normal kunai?"
Something twists inside Tenten's stomach. She can't lose another sale this week.
"Think of it as investing in your training! You want to become a chuunin one day, right?" she says.
The customer places the kunai back on the display. Damnit!
"I can barely afford one of these, let alone six. Sorry, Lady," he says, "but I don't have that kind of money."
Neither does she.
Maybe if Naruto's feeling generous (or guilt-ridden), she can squeeze a few A- or B-rank missions out of him to pay her bills this month. But in times of peace, not only are less shinobi buying weapons, but there are less missions to go around as well. It's not like Tenten wishes for war, especially since she's experienced its atrocities firsthand. But she can't help it that she makes a living off of pain and conflict.
And so she stews in this mixture of self-pity and boredom for the next few hours. Nobody else comes into the shop that day.
"There's still tomorrow," she says with a sigh.
The "OPEN" sign flips over to "CLOSED." As Tenten makes her way back to her apartment, she makes a mental note to stop by the Hokage's office tomorrow morning. Even a single B-rank mission could cover groceries and her electric bill. That is, if there's one available.
She continues running figures in her head when she storms into her apartment.
"You look upset."
She glares at the figure sitting on her couch, thumbing through her overdue library book on ancient weapons.
"Lost another sale," she says, then crumples on the couch as well. "Neji, I think I'm going to lose the shop."
Neji sets the book down because, really, they both know he isn't actually reading it.
"How much money do you have left?" he says.
She closes her eyes, pinches the bridge of her nose. "Not enough."
They sit in silence for a while. Although a part of her wishes he would, Neji doesn't reach out to give her a reassuring pat on the back or offer any comfort of that sort. It's not in his nature to do so. And even if he wanted to, he can't touch her anyway. Not when his physical body is tucked away under a gravestone, cremated several years ago.
"Maybe you should sell it," Neji says.
She blanches. "The shop? I can't! I've worked so hard to open it."
"You know what I'm talking about."
At that, Tenten pulls out a necklace normally kept hidden under layers of clothes. It's a simple white gold chain, but its true value lies in the heart-shaped locket lined with diamonds and engraved with the Hyuuga crest. A family heirloom, Neji had once told her in the month before his death.
"You can't be serious," she says. "That would mean—"
"You'd be able to keep running your shop?" he says. "Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Not at the expense of losing you!"
The necklace is the sole reason why his spiritual form still lingers in her apartment. It's the physical manifestation of his regret. A promise never kept. If she's ever able to let it go, let him go, then he will no longer be tied down to this plane of existence. He'd be free, truly, as he has always deserved.
But Tenten is too selfish to part with her sole happiness.
"Look," she says, "I can do a few missions to earn some money. There isn't any reason to do something so drastic."
Neji rises from the couch. "You haven't been able to scrounge up a single mission in three months. What makes you think Naruto's suddenly going to have something for you?"
It stings.
And he knows this. That's why he rubs salt in her wound.
"It's been years, Tenten," he says. "You need to let me die."
She, too, rises from the couch, if only to meet his gaze fully. He doesn't blink even once, as this form doesn't need to.
"Are you that unhappy to be here?" she says, hating the way her voice twists into someone unrecognizable.
"You're putting words in my mouth."
She will not cry. "Then why can't you stay?"
"You're the one who's unhappy," he says. "And it's because of me."
"What? That's not true!"
He's the only one who can make her happy these days! Can't he see that?
Neji steps toward her, forcing her to step back. She finds herself pinned between him and the wall.
"Because you're stuck in the past, you can't move forward. That's why your business is failing. That's why you can't get any missions," he says, face leaning in so closely that she can't escape his words. "That's why you're more of a ghost than I am."
Even though she knows better, she tries to shove his chest away. But her hands push right through him, which is an uncomfortable feeling she's never gotten used to.
"Stop!" she says. "I don't want to hear this! Stop!"
Neji pulls back, distancing himself from her, but he isn't finished. "It hurts to see you like this."
His words cut right through her, but she's already been hollowed out.
This isn't who she's meant to be, after all. She should've been a legendary kunoichi, celebrated by the village and welcomed into the Hyuuga clan. She should've been by Neji's side, their hair graying as the years went by and their children grew up. But those dreams died when he did.
As life moved on, all of her friends have grown up and started families. Sakura, Ino, and Hinata know the joys of motherhood. They've had baby showers, exchanged tips with each other on morning sickness. Naruto became the Seventh Hokage. Shino's a proud instructor at the Academy. Even Shikamaru, who never had motivation when he was younger, now serves as Naruto's assistant, the tactical genius supporting Konoha.
And then there's Tenten, who still clings to the remnants of a boy she once loved.
"I know I'm pathetic. But it's because I'm so afraid of letting you go," she says, pulling him into an embrace.
But she's only hugging herself. And only then does she allow herself to cry.
"What will I do when you're gone?" Tenten says, hiccuping.
Neji cups her cheeks, wet with tears, but she doesn't feel any warmth from his palms. She feels it in his words, though. "Everything."
"The Hyuuga crest? Is this real?" the pawn shop owner looks between the necklace and Tenten.
She plants her fist on her hip. "I don't deal in fakes."
By now her tears have dried, although she's sure her eyes are slightly puffy. The pawn shop owner doesn't point this out. Fortunately, he's only concerned about the goods she has to offer.
"The clarity of these diamonds," he says, mumbling to himself before biting down on the locket. "Interesting."
"Well?" she says.
He pulls out a calculator, eyes her again, and types a long list of numbers. The price has her eyes widening. This is more than she's expected. Enough to renovate her shop and expand her inventory to include lower and higher tier weapons. Maybe she could hold a grand re-opening, make an event out of it to draw a crowd.
"Do we have a deal?" he says as a formality.
Because of course she'll agree. Only a fool would turn down this offer. She wishes she could be a fool, if only a little longer.
"Yes."
She doesn't flinch when the necklace, and Neji with it, disappears underneath the counter. But that doesn't mean her heart feels any lighter.
As the pawn shop owner counts out the cash in front of her, she wonders if it's too late to change her mind. When she slips the thick envelope inside her top and steps outside, baptized in moonlight, she wonders if it's too late to turn around. The walk back to her apartment is a long one, but she keeps moving forward, each step a choice.
Tenten comes home to an empty couch, except for an overdue library book splayed open on one of its arms. When she sits, she doesn't feel the cushion dip down beside her. Neji is gone. He's free.
To where? Only those who have already crossed over are privy to this.
A/N: Truthfully, this was supposed to be more of a my-boyfriend-is-a-ghost romcom fic. Maybe I'll revisit that idea one day...