A/N : So, here it is, the first chapter of the new Match Made In Hell. As promised, I've decided to re-write the entire thing, and I'm sure it'll be much better this time around. I hope you guys think the same. Here's to a new beginning, longer chapters, more reviews, and no more MIA-ness on my part.

DISCLAIMER : Any recognizable trademark is not mine and belongs to their rightfully acclaimed owner.

Chapter One

Spotted : Swan Swims Home To Nest

"Love is forever, and we'll die, we'll die, together…"

My car was winding down the serpentine street, twisting and turning. The stereo was on full, blasting out Muse's "Neutron Star Collision (Love Is Forever)". I was humming along to it, enjoying the feeling of the sun beating down on my bared shoulders.

The last turn loomed ahead of me, and as I pressed down on the gas to make the turn home, I turned off the stereo and pushed my over-sized Diors up to my hair, squinting as my eyes got used to the harsh sunlight. My car slid down the driveway as soon as security recognized me, and just like that, I was home.

The sudden silence provided as I turned off the engine didn't last long as it was replaced by Renee's high-pitched squeal-shriek. I stretched my legs, smoothed down my Marni sundress, and opened the door of my 2009 Ferrari California convertible. My feet took a wobbly first step in their Manolos as I regained my equilibrium.

"Bella!" Renee was squealing. She rushed out to wrap her surprisingly tan and fit-for-her-age arms around me and squeezed, hard. I winced, but kept my comments to myself. The last time I'd seen my parents had been Thanksgiving. Christmas was spent with the girls in the Waldorf chateau. Spring break was sunning in some random island that Serena had discovered. The first month of summer had been at the Hamptons, alternating between Blair and Nate's summer houses.

And I was pretty sure that I'd be gone in two weeks, at the longest. It wasn't because of my parents, or even the depressive nature of Forks itself. It was my charade. My perfect-daughter-aka-geek-aka-single-without-a-date charade.

Though I hadn't exactly set out to be Daughter of the Year the first summer at Yale, a phone call the night before my return between me and my parents had changed everything. Renee had been proud, gloating over my good-girl-attitude while pretending to be scandalized but actually pleased by her frenemy, Jennifer Stanley's daughter, Jessica. Apparently, Jessica (whom I'd known briefly in high school- I quickly dismissed her as a social climber) had made a total fool out of herself the entire year. She'd skipped Thanksgiving, returned home on Christmas Eve drunk (with a random stoner in tow) and had spent spring break getting high. All of this had culminated in her getting expelled from college- the state community college.

Charlie had been grieving over the death of Tyler Crowley, his friend's son, and my high school classmate. Tyler had OD'ed the second month of college in Florida.

Hearing my parents both proud and grateful for my all-around good sense, I'd made a pact to myself that very moment. For at least two weeks a year, I'd pretend to be a good daughter, a geek; the anti-me. And as for the remaining 54 weeks, I'd put in appearances during Thansgiving and Christmas (as a perfect daughter, of course), make plans to return for spring break (and make sure they fell through) and somehow, cover up my wild side with straight As and stellar recommendations from my lecturers and college advisor.

And this is how Bella Swan party-animal-from-the-Upper-East-Side came to be Bella-Swan-goody-two-shoes-from-Forks.

I was snapped out of my reverie as Renee finally let go of me. Charlie, who'd had the sense to keep his distance (and thus, his hearing) until Renee had calmed down, now strode forward to give me an awkward and loose hug and a gruff, "We've missed you, Bells."

I stepped out of the hug the moment he did, and appraised him, noting that while Renee had bronzed herself to a Californian-perfection, Charlie had kept his pale complexion, obviously favoring the lake over First Beach. "I've missed you too, Dad." I smiled, a carbon copy of the grin in front of me.

A flash of light caught our attention, and from the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Renee with a camera in her hands, tears in her eyes. "That was just too sweet!" She exclaimed. I caught Charlie's eye and we shrugged, having accepted this as part of the Renee package a long time ago.

Charlie motioned for the two butlers hovering nearby to place my LV trunks in my room, and I lunged for my Missoni knit bag and my keys, which were still in the ignition. The three of us strolled back towards the main house, with Renee in the middle, one arm around my waist, the other in Charlie's hand.

Goody-two-shoes charade aside, it was good to be home.

*Bella Cullen * Bella Cullen * Bella Cullen*

After dinner, I trailed behind Renee as she led me up the stairs to my new room. She was positively gleeful, clapping her hands together eagerly every now and then, excited on my behalf. It was contagious. By the time we reached the third floor, I was wearing a grin on my face, my enthusiasm showing.

"Well, here it is!" She exclaimed, pushing apart two large French glass doors. I could literally feel my jaw drop, hear my gasp.

"Mom, I thought you were showing me to my new room." I emphasized on the word 'room'.

"Well, yeah. This is it. It just happens to take up the whole floor, but yeah, this is your room." Renee shrugged, impressively cavalier.

"Yeah, it just happens to take up the whole floor." I repeated in amusement.

"Oh, honey, one more thing," She said to me as she turned around and flitted down the stairs. She spun around to face me as she announced, in a very calm voice : "I've set you up with Edward Cullen. This Friday, at La Bella Italia. He'll pick you up at six." She smiled. "Enjoy your new room!" She giggled as she gracefully descended the stairs to the second floor.

My jaw, just finally closed moments before, now fell open again. My mother just set me up with Edward Cullen. My childhood best friend. It was this Friday, and today was Tuesday. We were going to La Bella Italia, which had bared witness to countless of awkward Bella-and-Edward moments.

Gee, thanks, Mom. For the room, and the date.

Oh, and for ruining my life.

SO?

Didya like it? Didya? DIDYA?

Yeah, I'm hyper active. Or drunk. Take your pick. Up next : The Freaking Out of Bella, The Return of Edward and Alice, The Shopaholic (not necessarily in that order)

You know you still love me,

xoxo, Ness.