Konnichiwa! I wrote another fic. Good for me! Maybe not for you though. Oh
well. Now on with the randomness.
RITUAL DISCLAIMER: I own none of these characters. They belong to Squaresoft.
Rated R for the excessive violence and foul language. If you have a problem with this then leave now.
SPORTS SHOTS
CAIT SITH: Welcome to Sports Shots. I'm your commentator Cait Sith and with me is Cid Highwind.
CID: Hi. So what do we have in store for today?
CAIT SITH: Well today we have a grueling match of tic-tac-toes between the summon creatures Leviathen and Ifrit.
CID: What the hell?! A @#%*&@# tic-tac-toe game?! What kind of sport is that for a sports show! We should be doing something manly like football or rugby.
CAIT SITH: Sorry. I can't change the program.
CID: Damn cat.
CAIT SITH:sweatdrops Anyways let's get on with the game. Leviathen starts off by putting his circle in the center square. Ifrit counters with an x in the upper left-hand corner. A circle below the middle. Oh! Ifrit blocks it by putting an x above the middle circle. Let's get an instant repaly of that in slow motion.
CID: Ifrit is a quick one. He isn't about to let that overgrown snake win. Leviathen does not look too happy about this. He in turn blocks Ifrit with a circle in the upper right-hand corner. aside Shit this is boring. *ahem* What's this? Ifrit has also blocked in his opponet with an x to the bottom left-hand corner.
CAIT SITH: Both players continue to block the other and, uh-oh, it looks like this has ended in a tie. Both players are angry at this turn of events. The two appear to be arguing. Oh! I don't know what Ifrit said but Leviathen did not like it. He has responded by headbutting Ifrit.
CID: Alright! Now that's more like it! Ifrit retaliates by shooting a ball of fire at Leviathen. Oh. That was a stupid move. The snake seems to be impervious to flame. What's this? Leviathen is using his famous attack tidal wave. That oughta put Ifrit out of commison. Yes! It has! Leviathen is the winner!
CAIT SITH: Unfortunately the water from the tidal wave has washed away the chalk on the blackboard. There will have to be a rematch. And....ummm....
Leviathen is looking at the commentators both angrily.
CAITH SITH: Wait a minute. Yes. Leviathen has won the tic-tac-toe game. So I guess that's it.
CID: ? shurgs Whatever. Damn that was a good fight. All tic-tac-toe games should be like that.
Cait Sith sweatdrops as he pictures toddlers getting into a bloody brawel over a tie in tic-tac-toe.
CAIT SITH: *ahem* Anyway that's all for Sports Shots for this week. Tune in next time when Cid and I will be commentating on the ladies wrestling match between Siren and Shiva.
CID: Hell yeah!
~Fin~
I hope you liked it. If not then oh well. I wrote it mainly for me. I'm just having it posted just in case there is anyone else out there who has a similar sense of humor.
RITUAL DISCLAIMER: I own none of these characters. They belong to Squaresoft.
Rated R for the excessive violence and foul language. If you have a problem with this then leave now.
SPORTS SHOTS
CAIT SITH: Welcome to Sports Shots. I'm your commentator Cait Sith and with me is Cid Highwind.
CID: Hi. So what do we have in store for today?
CAIT SITH: Well today we have a grueling match of tic-tac-toes between the summon creatures Leviathen and Ifrit.
CID: What the hell?! A @#%*&@# tic-tac-toe game?! What kind of sport is that for a sports show! We should be doing something manly like football or rugby.
CAIT SITH: Sorry. I can't change the program.
CID: Damn cat.
CAIT SITH:sweatdrops Anyways let's get on with the game. Leviathen starts off by putting his circle in the center square. Ifrit counters with an x in the upper left-hand corner. A circle below the middle. Oh! Ifrit blocks it by putting an x above the middle circle. Let's get an instant repaly of that in slow motion.
CID: Ifrit is a quick one. He isn't about to let that overgrown snake win. Leviathen does not look too happy about this. He in turn blocks Ifrit with a circle in the upper right-hand corner. aside Shit this is boring. *ahem* What's this? Ifrit has also blocked in his opponet with an x to the bottom left-hand corner.
CAIT SITH: Both players continue to block the other and, uh-oh, it looks like this has ended in a tie. Both players are angry at this turn of events. The two appear to be arguing. Oh! I don't know what Ifrit said but Leviathen did not like it. He has responded by headbutting Ifrit.
CID: Alright! Now that's more like it! Ifrit retaliates by shooting a ball of fire at Leviathen. Oh. That was a stupid move. The snake seems to be impervious to flame. What's this? Leviathen is using his famous attack tidal wave. That oughta put Ifrit out of commison. Yes! It has! Leviathen is the winner!
CAIT SITH: Unfortunately the water from the tidal wave has washed away the chalk on the blackboard. There will have to be a rematch. And....ummm....
Leviathen is looking at the commentators both angrily.
CAITH SITH: Wait a minute. Yes. Leviathen has won the tic-tac-toe game. So I guess that's it.
CID: ? shurgs Whatever. Damn that was a good fight. All tic-tac-toe games should be like that.
Cait Sith sweatdrops as he pictures toddlers getting into a bloody brawel over a tie in tic-tac-toe.
CAIT SITH: *ahem* Anyway that's all for Sports Shots for this week. Tune in next time when Cid and I will be commentating on the ladies wrestling match between Siren and Shiva.
CID: Hell yeah!
~Fin~
I hope you liked it. If not then oh well. I wrote it mainly for me. I'm just having it posted just in case there is anyone else out there who has a similar sense of humor.