Satire is a genre of literature, and sometimes graphic and performing arts, in which vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming individuals, and society itself, into improvement. Although satire is usually meant to be funny, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit as a weapon and as a tool to draw attention to both particular and wider issues in society
Chapter 1: The Beginning of Many Beautiful Friendships
It was a beautiful, sunny day as Mary and Gary Sue relished the pristine sunshine that was blessed enough to shine on the nape of their necks. The twins couldn't imagine a more perfect day for the two to head down to their favorite spot in the world and indulge in their favorite pastime: watching Dragon Ball Z on their brand new IPads. The crystal-clear water of the splendid little lake ebbed and flowed gently onto the pristine, white sand that the two laid on as they watched their favorite episode from the Saiyan Saga.
"Man, that guy Nappa is such a jerk!" exclaimed Mary as she scrunched her face in anger as the giant Saiyan made another joke at the expense of the courageous Z Fighters. However, even this act couldn't tarnish the 16 year olds' unblemished face, and if anything, it made her even cuter than before. "I can't wait until that hunk Vegeta kills him off!"
"Yeah I agree," said the beautiful teenager's twin brother, flexing his bicep as he leapt to his feet to strike a heroic pose. "That Nappa is lucky he never has to face me! I would have pwned him in two seconds if I were there!"
"I'm sure you would, brother," stated Mary casually as she stroked her beautiful, raven-colored hair with her silky smooth hand. "You know what would be the coolest thing ever? If we were able to somehow be in Dragon Ball Z! I would love to meet Vegeta, Goku, and all of the other amazing characters! I'm sure we would be the best of friends as soon as we met!"
"Well I mean that's a given!" concurred Gary as he flashed a peace sign. "Me and all of the Z Fighters would immediately be bros and I would be the strongest fighter in the universe in no time at all!"
"Man, just talking about it makes me wish that we were Saiyans in the world of DBZ!" said Mary emphatically, flashing her brilliantly white smile at the mere thought of being a Saiyan Princess.
As if in response to the peerless girl's desire, a sudden golden light began to emit from the screen of the twin's IPad. Startled by the mystical rays, Mary and Gary both stared in awe as the magical glow suddenly transformed into the almighty, wish granting dragon: Shenron! The colossal, green dragon bowed before the pair of tan-skinned, athletically built, teenagers before saying.
"I overheard your humble wish thanks to my omniscient powers, and it occurred to me that two fine young citizens as yourself deserve to have this simple wish fulfilled. Your reasonable-and realistic-wish is granted!"
Before the two siblings could even comprehend what was happening, Shenron's eyes glowed red and a blinding light suddenly encompassed the dynamic duo's bodies. Forced to shut their gem-like eyes, the two couldn't help but squeal with delight as the felt themselves being pulled through a wormhole to the greatest universe ever conceived: the one of Dragon Ball Z!
After only a few, fleeting moments, the twins were able to re-open their eyes to find that they stood upon a barren, sparsely vegetated, rocky terrain. Only a few yards away from them, stood the fighters for the Battle of Earth: the Z Fighters and the Saiyans. To the pair's left, stood Piccolo, Gohan, Tien, Krillin, Yamcha, and Chiaotzu as they prepared to face off against the evil, vile, disgusting Sabiamen.
"Hey it looks like we did get transported to the world of Dragon Ball Z, leaving all of family, friends, and any semblance of our previous lives behind us!" exclaimed Gary, as he took in the battlefield with wide eyes of wonder. "Sweet!"
"Yeah, and it seems that the Battle against the Saiyans hasn't started yet," commented Mary, her dazzling eyes quickly shifting over to the gathered warriors of Earth. "I'm going to go say hi to everyone before it gets started!"
"Sounds like a pretty killer plan to me!" agreed the tall, muscular Gary. "Let's go introduce ourselves to our new friends!"
Leaping into the air, since simply arriving into the universe of Dragon Ball Z had given the siblings the knowledge and ability to fly, the two swiftly made their way to where the Z Fighters were lined up for battle. Setting down in front of the cast of their favorite show, Mary and Gary let loose their childish smiles of wonder for all of their new friends to see.
"Hi there everyone!" shouted Mary with a flawless little wave to the stunned men before her. "My name's Mary and this is my brother Gary. We're big fans of you guys, and we were wondering if you all would like to be our new BFF's!"
"Are you insane!" exclaimed a horrified Piccolo. "This is the middle of a warzone and you…"
"Of course we'll be your friend, Mary and Gary!" exclaimed Yamcha, throwing his arms into the air in celebration. "You guys are the coolest people I've ever seen!"
"Yeah!" chimed in Krillin, "if there's anyone in the world I want to be friends with, it's you two!"
"I can't wait to invite you to my birthday party!" shouted Gohan in delight. "In fact, do you guys want to come to it as the guest of honor? You can even have all of my presents!"
"You two are the best!" squealed Chiaotzu.
"I don't know what this BFF is, but I'm in," said Tien with a small smile on his face.
As the distraught Namekian covered his face with his massive palm, Mary blushed-only making her even cuter-as she said, "Oh you guys are too kind! I know we'll just have the best of times together!"
Meanwhile, on the other side of the battlefield, Nappa and the Saibamen were simply petrified by the sudden appearance of the two twins. Unsure of what to do, the blubbering buffoon-formerly known as the General of the entire Saiyan Army-stupidly turned to his liege, the mighty Prince Vegeta for guidance.
"Hey, Vegeta, who are those guys?" the hulking, slobbering, brute asked his superior in every way commander.
"I don't know, Nappa, maybe if you would let me see then I could tell you!" snapped the Prince of All Saiyans, who was being blocked from the most glorious sight to ever grace mankind by the idiotic barbarian.
"Oh right, sorry Vegeta," apologized the oaf as he clumsily moved to the side to allow his master a look at the newcomers.
"Well Nappa, clearly they are more lambs for the slaugh…" Vegeta never got to finish his assessment though as his jaw nearly dropped to the floor as he got his first look at his future princess: Mary. He was completely entranced by her lush, black hair that perfectly fit with her pristine and gorgeous face in such a perfect way. It was like the epitome of the perfect woman had been crafted by God and was brought down to Earth in the form of Mary Sue that even the mighty, fearless, prideful, Prince of All Saiyans Vegeta (who had literally seen billions of woman throughout his travels in space) was brought to his knees in awe.
"Oh look, it's Vegeta! Hi!" shouted the goddess-like Mary as she noticed the Saiyan Prince on his knees, gawking at her beauty.
"Hey, Vegeta, I think that girl is…" The mindless oaf never managed to finish his sentence as the mighty Gary suddenly phased in front of the gigantic Saiyan and delivered a devastating roundhouse kick to the bald fighter's temple. Despite never having any martial arts training in his life, never lifting a weight since the day he was born, and the only exercise he ever did being the occasional walk around the neighborhood, Gary was able to completely decapitate the veteran warrior with this complex, mid-air, kick at a velocity that approached the speed of light itself.
"What a brute!" exclaimed the insanely strong adolescent as he landed smoothly back onto the ground while the Saiyan's head was sent rolling through the dirt. "My sister was clearly trying to talk to Vegeta, and he rudely goes and interrupts her!"
"Yeah, thanks brother!" shouted Mary. "He totally deserved that for being so inconsiderate as to butt into me and Vegeta's conversation here! Now then, shall we continue…EEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!"
Upon seeing their commander suddenly struck down by a single blow, the Sabiamen decided it was time to get the hell out of dodge. Of course, before leaving, they wished to capture the beautiful Mary and take her with them so they could worship all day and night. Leaping forward to claim their queen, the Sabiamen squealed in delight while Mary squealed in terror as the plant-like devils moved in on the model-esque girl.
To the raven-haired girl's delight, a sudden blue wave of energy suddenly overwhelmed the oncoming barrage of Sabiamen. Lifting her sparkling eyes up, Mary was overwhelmed with joy as she saw Vegeta standing there, his palm still smoking from the energy blast he had fired to save her.
"I'm sorry, but there's no way I can let you-my subordinates- harm this innocent, beautiful gem of a lady that I have just met. Even though I came to this planet with the sole purpose of killing all of its inhabitants, simply seeing this wonderful woman has caused me to change my entire outlook and philosophy on life."
"Oh, Vegeta!" squealed Mary as she rushed into the usually violent, angry, sometimes psychotic man's chest. "You're my savior!"
Even though usually Vegeta would atomize someone for even daring to breathe on him, this time the Saiyan Prince simply felt so lucky to be allowed on the same planet as such a treasure as this women that he eagerly accepted the woman's embrace.
"I just hope that you're not hurt, my dear," he soothingly said into the girl's ear.
"I'll never be hurt if you're around, Veggie!" purred Mary, tacking on her personal favorite nickname for the Saiyan.
"Hey, Saiyan guy!" Growling somewhat for the intrusion about his intimate moment with this perfect woman, Vegeta lifted his eyes to see the human warriors standing before him. The one speaking was the short, bald midget. "So does this mean that you don't want to destroy the Earth and kill all of us, while wishing for immortaitly with the Dragon Balls?
"Well, that is why I came here…" began the flame-haired Saiyan, but he was cut off by another hug from Mary.
"Please don't!" she said, batting her eyelashes at the Saiyan Prince. "Those guys are my friends too."
"Well any friends of this wonderful woman is a friend of mine," stated Vegeta. "So I guess I'm with you guys now!"
"YAY!" shouted Gary triumphantly. "Now let's go back to Capsule Corps and have a huge party to celebrate our victory!"
As everyone but Piccolo nodded their agreement and eagerly followed the twin's lead, Mary and Gary knew that this was only the beginning of their fantastic journey!
MEANWHILE, IN THE SUPER, SPECIAL, AWESOME LAIR OF DOOM!
An uneasy silence hung in the air as the evil mastermind who had just recently taken over Dr. Gero's research lab, Professor Hingle McCringle Berry Showerhandle IV bored holes into the TV Monitor that displayed his spy camera's view of the Battle for Earth with the Saiyans. The man's hands trembled as they threatened to rip the arms out of the swivel chair he sat in as he emphatically screamed…
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!"
I hope you guys got a few laughs out of this. I know I did writing it. This will probably be updated pretty often actually since I find it very easy to write and it is a good stress reliever. Hope you guys enjoyed, leave me a review with your thoughts!