Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon
Also, I'm not crazy or anything.
Not... Crazy...
I think the universe hates me and wants me to be as miserable as I can.
I'm sitting here on my window sill again just thinking about what I can do to make myself stronger. I think I'll go off on a new journey to find my father. I can see me facing him now; both of us withdrawing our last Pokémon. Then I imagine his Beedrill falling to the ground in defeat and him vowing to never revive Team Rocket again. I laugh at the thought. Like I'll ever become strong enough to defeat him. Sometimes my brain fills with such ridiculous thoughts.
I lean my head back until it's resting against the cold glass and I close my eyes. I instantly feel that familiar urge.. My hands comply, and reach for the piece of broken glass I used yesterday and lower it to my left arm. All I need is a little nip; just something to feed my hunger. I press the tip into my skin but it doesn't even feel like it's touching me. I apply more pressure, hoping I'll be able to feel it, but I still can't. I see the crimson beads popping through the surface. Why isn't it working? Where's the rush? I feel empty now; I don't know what to do with myself. I release the shard of glass from my fingers and I hear it bounce off the carpet and hit the wall. Even though the window is cool against my face, my entire body goes icy cold.
Without thinking, I punch the window and watch it explode into a million pieces. I find the biggest piece and in a swift motion, I run the jagged edge up the inside of my right arm. The pain washes over me, but I don't flinch at all. All I want is a rush, nothing else matters to me. I watch as the blood oozes out. It doesn't seem real to me. Nothing ever seems real to me. The blood is gushing out of me fast; flowing down my arm and staining the window sill and carpet. I let out a shaky breath. Finally, I feel that overpowering rush. I have to have more. I take the glass fragment in my bloody hand and stab my other arm. Another surge of emotions runs through me. But before I get to really feel this thrill, I start seeing spots. I feel my body kick into overdrive, telling me to scream for help. I open my mouth to do it, but nothing comes out. So instead, I pull my knees to my chest and I stare at my bedroom door. My breathing is becoming shallower by the minute, and I feel like I weigh five times lighter than before.
My bedroom door swings open and I hear Gold say,
"Hey Silver, do you happen to know-" Then I hear him scream. "Silver! What happened?!"
The house shakes with footsteps and when I hear gasps, I know he's not alone. I look up and see Gold, Red, Blue, and Green, standing there with a look of shock mixed with horror.
"Wh-what did you do Silver?" Blue panics. I can hear slight concern laced into his angry tone though.
He orders Green to call 911. She bolts out and then Red grabs some towels from my bathroom and throws one to Gold. Red ties one around my left arm, and Gold one around my right.
"Gold, you hold his right side, and I'll hold his left." Red commands.
I see Green come back in holding her Pokégear, explaining to the person on the other end what's wrong. I hear Blue say something, but it all sounds like jumble to me. I'm too tired to care anyway. I let my eyes close, and I slowly drift into a peaceful sleep. I'm in my own perfect little world, where I belong. I'm flying through the darkness, yet I can still see light flickering all around me, each their own special color. I reach for one, but it darts out of reach. I frown and start swimming after them, but all are just out of reach. Right when I think I'm about to grab a bright yellow one, they all disappear completely. I hear a voice I don't recognize call me from above.
I hear the voice again, and realize it's saying my name.
"Silver, can you open your eyes for me please?"
How unfortunate.
I glance up only to see an old man in a white lab coat staring at me. I try to speak but he cuts me off. "How are you feeling?"
"Weak." I whisper.
"I'm not surprised. Now, try and follow my pen please." He orders. The shining light sends a jolt up my spine to my brain. Flashes of red, and shocked faces surge through my mind. I look down at my wrists and see gauze going halfway up each arms, both dyed in red fluid. I scan the room and ask where the people who brought me here are.
"I believe they're talking to a psychiatrist right now." He replies while writing something down on his clipboard.
I wonder what they're all thinking. Probably that I'm messed up and crazy. I'll end up going to a mental hospital, and they'll never have to bother with me again. Not that I care or anything, it's for the better.
My thoughts are interrupted when this older woman walks into the room with Gold, Blue, Red, and Green trailing behind her. The first person in the room is Gold. His eyes are glazed over, and he doesn't seem to be all here. Red and Blue are next, both seeming to be in control. But what's to be expected, they're perfect, nothing bad ever happens to them. I don't want to see anymore, but I force myself to peer at Green's face. Her eyes are red and puffy, and I notice tears falling freely down her cheeks. Why is she crying?
The first person who walks up to the side of my bed is Blue. He sits down in the chair next to my bed. I hear him sigh; it's full of disappointment. His gaze flickers between my bandaged arms and my face.
"Why did you do this? Were you feeling suicidal?" He asks as calmly as he can.
"No, it wasn't that. It just happened, I wasn't really thinking."
"Damn right you weren't thinking! What the hell is wrong with you?!" He spits in my face causing Gold to snap out of his trance and punch Blue square in the jaw. Red's quick to jump in the middle, but the damage is already done. I make out screaming, but I ignore it and go back to studying my wrists. After a few minutes, their voices start to fade, so I glance back to see the aftermath. Green is the only one left in the room, and I start to wish I was dead. It's hard not to read her mind.
"Why did you do it?" She asks harshly.
"I don't know." I mumble. Arms automatically wrap around me, squeezing firmly. My arms fall to my side, but I let her hold on. "I love you, Silver. You're the only family I have, please don't leave me." Her voice cracks and she starts sobbing. My body tells me to comfort her, but my brain says the opposite. I don't know what to believe anymore.
Later that evening, everyone decides that I should be admitted to the hospitals' Psychiatric Ward so I can be evaluated and monitored 24/7.
"For how long?" I ask quietly.
"I can't give you a straight answer Silver. But don't worry about that now, we just want you to focus on getting better."
I nod and scratch at my bandages. I immediately feel blood seep out of my wounds, causing my vision to go slightly blurry.
What a rush.