Note-This idea came to me in a series 1 episode when Jordan says to JD "You remind me of when Perry was an intern", and I started wondering what Perry was like as an intern! My interpretation is that he is quite a lot like JD, but will still have some classic Coxian moments. I think this may have been done before, but this is my version. So here it is. Enjoy!
Dedication: Everyone who faithfully reviews me! You know who you are!
Disclaimer: I only own Angie. All the other characters are property of Bill Lawrence (lucky, lucky man…)
Also I don't really know what Tylenol is for, so forgive me if my facts are wrong!
Perry Cox's eyes flickered open. The alarm clock was drilling its noise into his head. He sat up, rubbed the sleep of his eyes, and got out of bed. He opened his wardrobe and carefully took out his new Scrubs. He ran his hand over the light blue material, and grinned to himself.
Today was his first day as an intern.
He had a quick shower, and tidied his ginger curls. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, and took a deep breath to stop his heart palpitating too fast.
"You're the man, Perry Cox!" he muttered to himself. "You are the man! Go get 'em, tiger!"
Then, his heart beating with fear, anticipation and excitement, he set off towards his new hospital.
The hospital was huge, much bigger than he had expected. He took a deep breath, and turned into the entrance. He walked up to the nurse's station, but was ignored. He shyly tried clearing his throat to get their attention, but he was still unnoticed. Then he started drumming his fingers on the counter, until a nurse sighed and turned to him.
"What do you want?" she asked. She was young, slightly overweight, and a pair of glasses perched on her nose.
"Oh, hi…Laverne!" said Perry, leaning over to read her name badge. He flashed her a charismatic smile, and was about to continue when Laverne interrupted him.
"Intern, sugar?" she asked. Perry nodded, and her tight face relaxed a little.
"You looking for orientation? It's on the second floor, room 347"
Perry thanked her, and practically ran up the stairs into room 347. He took a seat next to a young blonde woman, and the man up the front began to speak in a clear confident voice.
"Good morning interns! My name is Theodore Buckland, but please call me Ted! I'm the hospitals new lawyer, and I'm here to talk to you about a few legal points, and then I'll pass over to Dr Benson, our chief of medicine!" said the man. Perry mentally whistled. The guy was in his late twenties, but he practically had an afro! Amazing…
Perry was so busy thinking about Ted's hair that he didn't listen to what the man was saying. So when Dr Benson took to the platform and he snapped out of his thoughts, he had to turn to the blonde girl beside him.
"What was he saying?" he whispered. The girl rolled her eyes, and grinned cheekily.
"Just simple things. Don't screw up, don't admit fault…the usual crap!" she muttered. Perry nodded, and turned back to his new Chief of Medicine.
"Good morning, fellow doctors! I'm Dr Benson, your chief of medicine! And I just want you to know that, whatever hardships you may face at Sacred Heart, I am here to help you. Because I am your safety net. Good luck on your first day, interns!"
The interns started to get up, so Perry did so too. As he stood and gathered his notes, he whispered to the blonde girl: "I'm Perry"
"Angie" the girl replied, and smiled at him. "See you later, Perry!"
Oh it is so on, Perry thought to himself as he watched Angie walk off with another girl.
He checked his timetable, and followed the crowds through the hallways of the hospital. They were all white-walled and looked pretty much the same, and he was worried he would get lost. But finally he arrived at another nurse's desk. He looked out for Laverne, but she wasn't there, and he sighed. He'd wanted to thank her…
"Good morning interns!" came a gravely voice. Perry turned to the source of the noise, and saw a short, mouse haired man wearing a lab coat and carrying a clipboard. The man had a toothy smile that stretched across his face, but he looked friendly enough.
"Hey, how you all doin'?" the guy asked. "My name's Bob Kelso and I'm your attending! We're gonna start with rounds, and then you'll get your charts. And remember; don't be at all afraid to ask me anything! I'm here to help you."
Perry smiled to himself. He was glad he'd got a nice attending, unlike Angie, who gave him an apologetic shrug as she went off with some guy called Dr…was it Beardface? He wasn't quite sure. He turned and followed his group.
"Ok, interns! Let's start with an easy one! This guy has been complaining of severe abdominal bloating and nausea, can anyone tell me what they think he has?"
"From the symptoms, sir, I'd say he was pregnant" joked Perry. The interns laughed, as did Dr Kelso.
"Oh, so we have a smart-arse in the group?" Kelso laughed. Suddenly he stopped, and his face went stony. "Listen, sport. Smart-arses don't get anywhere in this hospital. If you screw up once, that's your ticket out of here! Are we clear?"
Perry and the others nodded. Dr Kelso smiled again.
"Good boy! Now can anyone else tell me what this guy has?"
"Gastroparesis, sir?" piped up a thin girl.
"Well done, sweetheart! Let's move on…"
Once rounds were finished, Perry was given a chart. He set off to Mr Bynard's room full of energy and confidence. Five minutes later, he left the room to try and find his attending. He found Dr Kelso at the nurse's desk, chatting up a pretty young Asian nurse.
"Dr Kelso…?"
"Ah, my favourite intern!" said Kelso loudly, showing off to the nurse. "What do you need, sport?"
"Um…how much Tylenol do I give to Mr Bynard?" Perry asked. Kelso's grin slowly went sour, and he lowered his voice to a sinister whisper.
"Listen, intern…"
"My name's Perry Cox…" Perry muttered.
"Do I really look like I give a crap? Listen, Perry, its regular strength Tylenol. You grab a handful and throw it at the patient! Whatever sticks is the correct dosage!"
"But…"
"Well done sport! Go get 'em!" shouted Kelso, and he turned back to the simpering nurse. Confused, Perry turned and began to walk away.
"Hey! Ginger!" came a voice. He turned around and was met with a young brunette woman.
"You got a pen, Curls?" asked the woman. Quickly, Perry fumbled in his pocket, and produced a blue biro. The woman snatched it, and began to write something on a piece of paper. Then she looked back up at him.
"What are you waiting for?" she snapped.
"Just…waiting for my pen back…" Perry mumbled.
"Oh!" said the woman. "I'm sorry, sweetie! Did I not make it clear that, when you lend me something, it automatically becomes mine?"
Perry was stunned.
"Sorry, but I really need that pen back!" he insisted.
"You can't have it!" said the woman rudely. Perry could feel the red-hot temper that he has been trying to keep down all day rising.
"Now listen here, Missy!" he snapped. The woman turned to face him. "I am a doctor. I don't have the time to stand here all day while you use my pen; unfortunately, there are lives to save and I re-he-heally don't want to kill anyone on my first day because some unimportant woman who is impolite purely for recognition wants to take my pen. And just so you know, sweet-cheeks, rudeness does not suit a pretty face like yours!"
Oh, it felt so good to rant again!
The woman stared at him in utter shock. Perry took his pen out of her unmoving hand, and was about to walk away when he heard a catcall. It was Laverne and a few other nurses who had watched the scene.
"Bad idea, sugar!" Laverne called. "No one speaks to Jordan Sullivan like that!"
"Big mistake, curls!" snapped Jordan. "It is so on!" And with that, she turned and stalked away. Perry grunted, and walked in the opposite direction.
At lunch, Perry sat alone, picking at the congealed Sloppy Joe with his plastic fork. He couldn't bring himself to put the meat into his mouth.
"Hey!" came a voice, and he looked up. Angie was standing next to the table, looking down at him.
"Can I sit here?" she asked sweetly. Perry grinned, nodded, and kicked a chair out for her. Angie sat down, and took a tentative nibble on her sandwich.
"So how are you?" she asked.
"Oh, I'm ok…you?" Perry said. He could feel a violent blush spreading across his cheeks. Angie saw it, and giggled.
"I'm ok" she replied. "But my attending's a bit weird. He freaks out if anyone gets his name wrong! Who've you got?"
"Dr Kelso…" Angie's face contorted into pity.
"Ooh, poor you!" she said sympathetically. "I heard he treats his interns no better than his dogs!"
"He's ok, actually" said Perry, suddenly defensive. "I mean, he's a good teacher, and a great mentor!"
"Lucky you then" replied Angie. "Dr Beardface tears us new ones if we get an answer wrong…or his name for that matter…"
"It's Beardfacé, damn you!" called a man with a huge bushy beard from the other side of the cafeteria.
"See what I mean?"
Perry nodded, and took another bite of his now cold Sloppy Joe. He couldn't believe his luck! He had a great new job, would be earning buckets and had a potential Miss America candidate sitting across from him.
"So, Perry…you doing anything tomorrow night?"
Oh look. And now she was asking him out!
"N-No…" Perry stuttered. "I'm good!"
"Great!" Angie grinned. "Maybe we could do something…"
"Hey, baby!" came a voice. A female voice. Perry looked up as a young brunette woman slid into the chair next to him.
"Perry, who's this?" asked Angie.
"I'm Jordan, sweetie" said Jordan. "Perry's girlfriend! Didn't he tell you about me?"
Angie shook her head, gave Perry a look of disgust, and left, ignoring his protests. Jordan laughed, rocking back on her chair in fits of giggles.
"Why did you do that?" Perry asked.
"That's my revenge for the little bitch-slap you gave me earlier, Per-Per! Although maybe it was too easy, I should really have waited to find out where you were going and crash it there!"
Perry glared at Jordan, dumbstruck.
"How could you…?" he muttered, too shocked to say anything else. A flash of mocking guilt and sadness spread across Jordan's face.
"My parents were mean to me…" she pouted. But Perry wasn't fooled.
"So were mine" he growled. He took a mouthful of food, and clanged his teeth on the metal spoon.
"Really? I was just bluffing!" Jordan smirked.
"Naw, really? Listen…maam…"
"Maam? Nobody calls me maam! You are going to live to regret the day you called me maam, Per-Per!"
She got out and strutted haughtily out of the cafeteria. Perry groaned, picked up his tray of food, and chucked it in the nearest bin. Then he got up, and left through the other exit. He ended up in the doctor's lounge, watching "Charles In Charge" on the small TV.
"I can sing that you know" came a voice. Dr Cox turned to see Ted standing in the doorway.
"Say what now?"
"Me and my Acapella band…we mostly do prime time theme songs"
Perry shook his head slowly, unsure of what to say.
"Fantastic…?"
"Hey, Ted!" came a voice, and Dr Benson stuck his head round the door. "There you are! Come on, the board meeting starts in five minutes! You wouldn't want to keep Miss Sullivan waiting, would you?"
Perry's ears pricked up. Sullivan? That's was Jordan's last name. She was a board member? Oh crap…
"Hey…Perry, is it?" said Dr Benson.
"Yes, sir"
"How's your first day been?"
"Alright, sir. Admittedly a little strange…"
"You get used to it…Ted, hurry up please!"
"Not gonna lose this case, not gonna lose this case…" Ted muttered repeatedly to himself as he walked out the door.
"Hey, Perry?" said Dr Benson. "I've seen some of your work, and I think you're one of the best interns we have this year. I have high hopes of you. Good luck"
"Sir, I don't need anyone else to tell me what I already know" Perry laughed nervously. Dr Benson just gave him a disapproving look, and left. Perry mentally kicked himself. How could he say that to his Chief of Medicine? Stupid, stupid idiot!
Suddenly he felt a little vibration in his pants pocket. He reached in, and pulled out his pager.
"Uh oh…"
Mr Bynard was coding. Perry practically charged to the patient's room. Dr Kelso was pressing the paddles to the man's chest, while Laverne fiddled with IV drips and whatnot.
"Sir…can I do anything?" Perry asked.
"No. If you'd given him the Tylenol like I told you to we wouldn't be in this mess!"
The realisation of what Perry had done (of rather, forgotten to do) hit him like a ton of bricks.
"Dr Kelso…"
"Perry, get out and leave this to the real doctors!"
But Perry didn't. He stood and watched as slowly, Mr Bynard's heart collapsed, and the beep that echoed around the room slowly faded. Dr Kelso put down the paddlers, and walked over to Perry. Perry squeezed his eyes tight in shame.
"Well done, sport. Not many interns manage to kill someone on their first day!"
"Sir…I'm sorry…" Perry said, but Kelso interrupted him.
"Save it. Perry, listen to me. You can't rely on anyone to do things for you. I may be your resident, but one day when I get promoted to Chief of Medicine, and believe me that day will be very soon, I'm not going to care about your sorry little ass any more. And that's a fact!"
Kelso turned back to the nurses, and beamed a sickly grin at them.
"Good day, huh folks?"
Then he walked out.
Perry leant on the doorframe, and he made a promise to himself there and then. He promised himself that he would never become like Bob Kelso. When patients died, he would through down the paddles in exasperation because he would care. He would help out his interns when they screwed up. Hell, he was gonna be the greatest doctor Sacred Heart ever produced. He saw Kelso for who he really was: an evil, twisted little man. No…he could never be like that.
As Perry turned to leave the hospital, he passed a supply closet. He was not, however, prepared for a strong hand to reach out and pull him into a supply closet.
"What the-…"
His words were cut off by a forceful pair of lips against his. It was Jordan. When they broke apart Perry was, literally, speechless.
"What…but…why…what?"
"Nobody calls me maam, Perry. I like it!"
She kissed him again, and this time Perry relaxed into the kiss as Jordan began to slide her hands up his shirt…
Twenty minutes later, the pair emerged from the closet, flustered and breathing heavily.
"See you round, Per-Per!" said Jordan carelessly, as she sauntered out of the hospital. Perry watched her go in admiration. He didn't even notice Angie giving him a dirty look as she passed him.
Maybe this job wouldn't be so bad after all…