Filling The Void

by DontWearThatCrown

The only time Roxy wants to live is when she's drunk, but she's great at hurting herself when intoxicated. This time, she shoves her hand through a glass door, determined to have more alcohol. The blood she loses from her various wounds could be critical and the conversation she has with a certain friend before passing out could be the last one she ever has.

Roxy Lalonde thoughtlessly wiped the sick from her mouth and drained another martini. The alcohol burned in her throat and tears pricked her bloodshot eyes. An aching pain tugged at her heart and she gasped for air, choking on the tears that she was trying to swallow.

Her phone dinged, informing her that she had a message on Pesterchum, but she had no intention of checking it. She didn't want to talk to anyone as they would just chide her for being foolish or demand she stopped drinking. Roxy didn't want that. If she stopped, she'd have to face the harsh pain of reality. Nothing in her life seemed worth living anymore and the only reasonable escape was by consuming alcohol.

"Wah's the point anymoar?" Roxy slurred aloud, dragging herself off the floor. She staggered towards the alcohol cabinet, falling against it as she reached it. Her vision had blurred and everything was in double. A loud pounding pulsed through her head and ears, causing her to groan in pain.

She tried to reach towards the small glass door to open it, but she couldn't see enough to find the handle or lock. Determined to have more alcohol, Roxy shoved her fist through the glass, spraying shards in every direction. Thick pieces sliced through her skin and stubbornly became wedged there. Blood streamed down her pale arms and stained her favourite White shirt.

Ignoring the searing pain pulsing through her lower left arm and hand, Roxy dragged a bottle of strong alcohol through the shattered door. She brought it close to her mouth, accidentally smearing blood across her sickly-white face. A weak, drunken laugh slipped through her lips as she attempted to drink the alcoholic beverage. Her trembling fingers, slippery with the blood, dropped the heavy bottle which smashed violently on the floor.

Roxy wailed loudly in dismay, longing for the liquid that was now splashed across the floor. She reached her hand upwards to grab another bottle, but the loss of blood had finally taken its effect. Her knees buckled and she collapsed to the floor, slicing her skin on more glass and falling unconscious.

/

Roxy blinked sleepily, unsure where she was. For several short moments, her head was blank and she felt nothing. Flashes of what happened entered her brain as it whirred back into motion. A merciless pain erupted in her left arm and a searing pain shot up her right leg. Her head was pounding violently and her shoulders ached.

Slowly, she moved herself upright and leaned against the wall. The floor was soaked with thick, dark blood mixed with strong alcohol. A sickly stench filled the air and Roxy felt her empty stomach churn.

She groaned as moved her leg to examine it. A long, deep gash sliced her smooth skin and glass jutted out of it. Gritting her teeth, she tugged at the glass, aiming to pull it out. As it became unwedged, a wail escaped from Roxy's mouth and tears flowed down her face.

As she tried to stop the bleeding, her eyes rested on her damaged wrist. Her blood ran cold and she screamed loudly, only interrupted when she began to heave. The alcohol she'd consumed before passing out was sprayed across the floor, bringing with it the unwelcome stench of vomit.

Glass jutted out of her wrist in every direction, caked in the thick, red liquid that had seeped from her skin. Parts of her arm was mangled and sliced, though blood made it impossible to see the real wound.

Roxy's phone beeped loudly, alerting her of more pesterchum messages. Determined to distract herself, Roxy grabbed it with her good arm and checked her messages.

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

TT: Roxy?
TT: You awake?
TT: I guess not then.
TT: I hope you're not drinking.
TT: Let me know when you're up.
TT: Later.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

TT: Are you ignoring me, Roxy?
TT: I need to talk to you.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

TT: Seriously Roxy, this isn't cool.
TT: I would ask Jane and Jake where you are, but I know they're out together.
TT: You're not passed out somewhere are you?
TT: You haven't done something stupid have you?

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

Roxy stared at the orange text, trying to swallow the tears forming in her eyes. Her throat burned as she gasped for breath. Why was Dirk contacting her when she was constantly annoying him? Was he worried about her? What would he do if he found out the state she was in?

With trembling fingers, she attempted to type in a reply. The task proved more difficult than she'd expected, but why had she ever believed it could be easy; she only had one hand to type with and she could barely see.

After several minutes, she managed to send her reply.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: hey dik
TG: *dork
TG: *dirk
TG: im completly fine
TG: *competey
TG: *completely
TG: nothin 2 wory about
TG: *worry
TT: Roxy.
TT: Where have you been?
TG: no wories stirder
TG: ive just been chillin
TT: Right, cool.
TG: so wahts up
TT: Everything's fine.
TG: yu sed you want 2 tlk
TG: *talk
TT: Maybe when you're sober.
TG: plz dont stop tlking 2 me
TG: *talking
TG: I like talking 2 yu
TG: *wonk*
TT: If you're going to act like that then I won't even bother.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

TG: dirk
TG: don't go
TG: i need you
TG: i forked up
TG: *fecked
TG: *fucked
TG: i feel ligt-heded
TG: *light-heded
TG: i have glass stickin trou my rist and im bleeding badly
TG: *through
TG: i think im losin 2 much blood
TG: if i don't get 2 spek to you agan, im sorry
TG: im sorry for everythin dork
TG: *dirk

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

Her arm throbbed endlessly as more blood poured down her arm. Tears streaked down Roxy's face as she clicked off of pesterchum and tried to find emergency services. She beeped in the three numbers as her head swayed and the room around her spinned.

Before she could do anything else, she blacked out again, knocking her head on the wall and sliding down it. Shards of glass crunched under the weight of her head and it began bleeding, the red liquid quickly dying her light blonde hair. If the emergency services didn't do something then Roxy never would speak to Dirk again, or anyone for that matter; the amount of blood she'd already lost was critical and she hadn't stopped yet.