It was 2:25am. Blair was lying in bed looking at the mistake that was Dan Humphrey. He was sleeping soundly, peacefully, so blissfully unaware of her feelings of regret. She had chosen him on a whim. She had chosen him to be safe, to be secure. But safe and secure were far from her mind at the moment. Boring and tiresome, those words were better words to describe their relationship.
Blair sighed and rolled out of bed. She walked barefoot into the living room and sat down at the bar. If she was perfectly honest, she'd say that she hated the smell of Dan's loft. She longed for the smell of his cologne, his cigars and scotch. The smells she had grown so used to. She didn't want to be in Dan's bed, in Dan's arms. She wanted to be home, in his arms, safe and secure.
She wanted to go to him, but would he accept her? After all she'd done to him. After the months spent with Louis, the false hope in the back of the limo, and now the two months spent with Dan, he had suffered through it all. He might not want me anymore, she thought. After she'd told him she wasn't in love with him, maybe he really had tried to move on? If she went to him now, would he be with another woman? She was about to get up when she heard a voice.
"Blair?" Dan's voice drifted from the bedroom doorway. She spun round on her bar stool to face him. "Blair what are you doing, it's 2:30am?" he asked tiredly.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep," she replied in a monotone voice.
"Are you okay?" Dan asked. Blair sighed, wanting nothing more than to get rid of him.
"No, Dan, I'm not okay. I don't think things are working between us. I'm not happy," she said bluntly. There was no easy way to tell him, so she might as well just say it. Dan looked taken aback. He flinched, almost as if he'd been slapped by her. He took a few seconds to compose his thoughts before he replied gently.
"Is this about Chuck?" he asked.
"Yes," Blair replied. Ask a straightforward question, get a straightforward answer.
"I thought so. Blair you haven't seen him in months," he said matter of factly.
"Only 2, Dan, and that's not enough time to just rid someone of deep love," she told him. If he was going to get cold with her, she would be cold with him too.
"What deep love? I thought you said you weren't in love with Chuck anymore?" he asked confused.
"I thought I wasn't, but this time apart has shown me that I still am. So much," Blair replied.
"So what am I? Just someone to fill the gap while you figure out your feelings?" he asked coldly. This time it was Blair's turn to flinch.
"No, Dan. I like you, but being in a relationship is clearly not the way to go," she said.
"But I love you," he told her. Blair sighed. She got up off the stool and walked over to the bedroom. Dan stayed where he was, staring at the spot she'd just been in. Blair came back 5 minutes later in a pristine dress, hair up in a tight ponytail. She clutched her bag in one hand and her phone in the other. She hadn't had time for makeup, but she was still beautiful without it.
"I'm sorry. I'm not in love with you. Someone else captured my heart a very long time ago. One night in a limo after an evening in a club, maybe before. That man needs me. You don't need me Dan, you just want me. I can't breathe without him," Blair said, and then she put one hand on his cheek. "Take care of yourself. I'll text you in a couple of days," she continued, then withdrew her hand and was gone. Out of the front door, out of the building, out of Brooklyn.
The cab she was in crossed over the Brooklyn Bridge and then the driver once more asked where she wanted to go.
"The Empire Hotel," Blair told the driver, and then she sat back in the seat and waited for the journey to end. Her previous fears came into mind. What if he's moved on? What if he's with someone? What if I arrive and he refuses to see me?
Blair still had her key card for his penthouse in her purse and she clasped it tightly in her hand as the driver stopped in front of the familiar building. It was eerily quiet, but that could've been because it was 3am. She waited a second before climbing out of the cab.
Slamming the car door behind her, and paying the man behind the steering wheel, she made a swift entrance into the building, ignoring the strange looks she got from the familiar doorman. She hurried over to the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor, she swiped her card and the doors closed.
The ride up seemed to take forever, with Blair watching the numbers go up as she climbed the floors. This hotel was part of Chuck's legacy.
When the doors opened with a ding at the top, she was relieved to hear silence, and see darkness, which meant that Chuck was not up and doing things with another woman. She made her way over to his bedroom door, but stopped with her hand on the doorknob. She took a second to compose herself, and then gently opened the door.
She peered round the door and the sight made her tear up with happiness. Chuck, in bed, alone. She really hadn't realised how much she missed him as she walked slowly over to the bed. He looked so handsome and peaceful in his sleep. She studied the room. Nothing had changed, except a picture of Chuck and Blair that used to be in the living room, was now on top of his chest of drawers opposite the bed.
She smiled at the picture. Next to that was a picture of the four best friends. The Non-Judging Breakfast Club. She looked at Serena, who had her arms around Nate and sighed. She missed Serena; she hadn't seen her either since she got together with Dan. She wished they could be best friends again, but she knew it was going to take time and effort.
Her gaze finally fell back to Chuck, asleep on his side of the bed. When they were together, they both had their favourite side, and Chuck had kept to his.
At least that hasn't changed, she thought to herself. She took off her shoes and placed her bag down on the floor, and then she lifted the covers and climbed in next to Chuck. She wrapped her arm around his waist, and it made her jump when his hand clutched hers.
It took him a moment to realise there was someone there, but he knew immediately who it was.
"Blair?" he whispered, thinking she couldn't be real.
"Yes, I'm here Chuck, I'm here," she replied gently closing her eyes. She smiled to herself.
"Are you a dream?" he asked shyly. He heard her chuckle.
"No," she answered. He sighed contently, kissing her hand, then he fell back to sleep. But Blair knew it wouldn't be that easy, and that tomorrow would be a whole new story, with the past coming back to haunt them. For now though, she was happy to fall asleep in his arms.
It felt like only minutes later that she heard the alarm go off.