Total Drama Island Rewrite
Intro Theme Song
Guitar plays
(Camera pops out of tree, breaks a window and crashes to the floor)
"Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine"
(Camera speeds past Chris who is pinching his nose whilst chef cooks with a creepy smile)
"You guys are on my mind"
Shot of Violetta and Gwen running from crazy rabid squirrels
"You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer is plain to see"
Dylan and Duncan set fire to a forest, just noticing that Sadie is hiding in one of the trees
"I wanna be famous"
Bridgette hugs Cody, Geoff riding a skateboard crashes into the two
"I wanna live close to the sun"
Courtney relaxes in the sun, putting on some shades and sighing happily
"So pack your bags 'cause I've already won"
Agnes laughs as Heather slips on a banana peel and Izzy rolls around on the floor
"Everything to prove, nothing in my way"
DJ strokes an animal, then gets run over by Leo and Tyler who are in a jeep
"I'll get there one day"
Eva kicks Ezekiel, whose face shows incredible pain and Noah rolls his eyes
"'Cause I wanna be famous"
LeShawna swings through the trees like Tarzan, picking up Harold on her way
"Naaaa-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-naaaa, na-na-na-na-na-naaaa"
Owen pushes Lindsay into a pool, who unexpectedly lands on Trent
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous"
Beth stares jealously and looks away to ogle at Justin
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous"
A bear goes and sits on top of a hole Katie was in as she was spying from it
Whistling tune
All campers are sitting round the bonfire with marshmallows in hand as they whistle. The camera zooms out of the view and the TDI logo is replaced on the screen as the tune ends.
Chapter 1: Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa
The camera zooms in on Chris McLean, who happens to be picking his teeth at this moment. Startled as he notices the cameras, he shoves the toothpick into his pocket and coughs loudly before he grins at the camera like a kid grins on Christmas Day.
"Well, hello there, all you realityTV-aholics. I'm your host, Chris McLean," Chris announces, adjusting his sleeve slightly. "This newest TV show is going to be awesome, because 26 people desperate for money and some fame or social life have agreed to be put through seemingly endless weeks of torture, here, in camp Wawanakwa. These contestants will have to compete to try and win the prize, which happens to be a lot of money!" The camera follows Chris as he walks a bit and then stops in front of two neat but smelly cabins. "This, is where the campers will be sleeping for the weeks they stay here. And this," Chris takes a left and follows a path, "is where the elimination will take place. Each camper will get a marshmallow, apart from the one who got the most votes to be kicked off the show. They will walk down the dock of shame, depart on the loser boat and never return. Ever." Chris finally stops talking, and returns to his place on the dock. "Our lucky campers will be arriving shortly. Will they survive the challenges? Will they survive the eliminations? And most of all, will they survive, each other? Stay tuned and find out, right here, right now at..." Chris paused for emphasis before carrying on, "Total, Drama, Island!"
Theme tune plays
Chris slurped from his drink, then spat it back out as the first contestant arrived on the dock, pulling the parachute desperately off themselves.
"Lindsay, you need help?" Chris offered, taking a long gulp.
"Like, yeah, I'm stuck," Lindsay said gratefully, but Chris stayed seated. "Uh, Chris?"
"I'm not really going to help you, I was only asking," Chris said smugly, grinning evilly. Lindsay threw the parachute off herself and eventually stood on one side of the dock.
"Uh, where are my bags? My newest outfits are in there," Lindsay muttered, looking at Chris, who shrugged and slurped again from his drink. A scream pierced the sky and a boy with brown hair and a striped jumper on fell to the ground, the parachute barely helped his landing. The boy shook a little on the ground, recovering from the fall, then slowly stood up. His eyes caught Lindsay's and he sighed happily, forgetting about the fall.
"Ehem, I'm the star here," Chris said grumpily, "anyway, you must be Cody." The kid nodded, looking from Chris to Lindsay, a love sick smile on his face when he caught Lindsay's eye.
"You kids are gonna make me vomit." Chris visibly shuddered, he desperately hoped for the next contestant to arrive.
After a while, a scream followed by a huge shadow came. A large boy with messy blonde hair missed landing on the dock, the parachute didn't open, meaning he has made sure he landed himself in the water, causing something similar to a tidal wave to wash over Chris and the two campers.
"Woah, it's better than the brochures," the large boy said happily, "so, when's lunch?"
"Owen, my man," Chris greeted the boy gratefully, glad someone else had arrived, "how are you?"
"Good," Owen replied, then he freaked out, "oh my cheesecake! You're Chris McLean!" He grasped Chris in a big, tight, rib-crushing hug as the camera zoomed in on Chris' petrified face. Owen let go, then ran over to Lindsay and Cody, the dock creaking beneath his feet. Chris fell to the ground as the next camper happened to land on him, cursing and screaming as he tried to untangle the parachute.
"Dude, can you not do that?" Chris huffed angrily, helping the guy up, who adjusted his headband and brushed the dust off his red track suit.
"Sorry, bro," the guy apologized, reaching out his hand, "I'm Tyler."
"Yeah, I know, I run this show," Chris explained slowly, rubbing the back of his head. A moment later, and two girls were screaming enthusiastically, they span down in circles and finally came to a stop as the parachutes gave them a relatively safe landing.
"Oh my gosh, Sadie, that was so great!" the skinny tanned one said ecstatically, jumping up and down.
"Oh, I know! And I'm so glad we're in this together," Sadie squealed, as the cameras flicked over to Chris, to show his confused face.
"Welcome, Katie, Sadie," Chris greeted them, putting on a fake smile as Sadie wrapped her big beefy arms around him and Katie fainted. Chris sighed, but winked at the camera, peeling himself away from Sadie's death grip. The two girls joined the other campers.
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, IN THE MEAN TIME HERE IS AN AD:
"Are you tired of all these bad shampoos? Well, you can get the best type from me, Chris McLean. There are different types, all made from many exotic ingredients." Chris flashes his pearly whites at the camera. "Buy two bottles and get one free, only now! This incredible sale only lasts for two weeks! Buy it now."
No harm was brought to any species of animal or nature. Chris shampoo can be found at your local supermarket for 4.99 dollars a bottle.
"The cameras have filmed all the footage of the arrivals, but since it took so long, the producers have spared you the death of boredom of having to watch these arrivals," Chris said, looking directly at the cameras. "Now that all the contestants are here, it's time to make the teams."
Confession Cam
"Eew, I can't believe the confession cam is in the toilet, what if you have to do your business?" Bridgette muttered, clearly disgusted, she looked straight at the cameras lens.
"I am so pi***d off!" Duncan yelled, hitting the toilet stall wall with his fist. "I don't want to be here!"
"Continuing," Chris said breezily, "there are 26 of you."
"We can do math, you know," Heather snapped, as she crossed her arms across her chest. The cameras zoomed out to get a good view of the tension between Chris and Heather, then zoomed in on Chris as he continued talking.
"As I was saying," he began, glaring at Heather, "you will therefore be in two teams of 13. I will let you choose your teams." Cheers had erupted from the campers. "Just kidding!" Lots of sighs, groans and shouts of protest had become too loud for Chris.
"Zip it," he said, miming zipping his own mouth. "Let's begin. Duncan, Leo, Violetta, Heather, Beth, Bridgette, Courtney, Noah, Gwen, Justin, Lindsay, Cody and Tyler. Your team will be called the," Chris stopped suddenly, "drum roll!" he hissed at the cameras, a drum roll soon came. "Your team is the Killer Bass!"
Confession Cam
"Wow, what a great group!" Courtney said enthusiastically, looking happily at the cameras. "Expect for that punk, Duncan. He is so stupid!" Courtney huffed, tucking a neat lock of brown hair behind her ear as she stared intently at the camera.
"Did you hear that? I'm in the same group as Justin!" Lindsay squealed, facing the opposite wall to where the camera actually is. "Wait, I don't get it, where's the camera?"
"Oh my! There are so many pretty people on my team," Beth said dreamily, "like Justin. And Lindsay, and Violetta, and-"
"Next team is," Chris said, taking a deep breath, "Geoff, DJ, Katie, Eva, Harold, Ezekiel, Sadie, Izzy, LeShawna, Owen, Trent, Agnes and Dylan. You are the Screaming Gophers!" The two teams sat together, as they chewed marshmallows by the campfire.
"This, is why I'm going to love the show. There are so many idiots, and so many non-idiots, it will be hilarious. I'm afraid that's all for today, but stay tuned for the next episode, where these campers will be facing unreal challenges! This is your host, Chris McLean," Chris announced, flipping his hair slightly as the cameras stopped focusing on him and did a pan over of the cabins. Shouts could be heard from one of the cabins, so the cameras in the cabins were activated. In the girls cabin, havoc was everywhere. Clothes, makeup, shoes, posters, and anything you could imagine have been thrown around as the girls fought over whose belongings were whose. Ah, typical girls. The camera was switched to the one in the boys cabin and all the boys were asleep in their bunks, snoring or drooling they were unaware of the chaos next door.
"Back to me." Chris had the camera on him switched on, "join us tomorrow for the real start of...Total, Drama, Island!"
Instrumental theme tune plays as camera zooms out, so camp Wawanakwa becomes smaller as the Total Drama Island logo appears on the screen, changing quickly to show the credits.