Hello everyone!
The idea for this story has been floating round my mind for a few days now and I'm still planning where I'm going to go with it, but the scenes wouldn't stop bouncing around my mind and I just HAD to get them written down before I drove myself insane.
This story is set in the early 1800s and I'm still debating on whether to place it in America or England. I'm leaning closer towards America (you got me - Georgia) simply because that's where the canon characters are from, however I know a lot more about English history than I do American and that would probably mean that the story was more accurate with little details. I don't know though, I think I'll probably choose America in the end, but I'm still undecided so that's why I've not written much about the setting.
Enjoy!
Beth was furious.
The feeling of anger consuming her was incredibly foreign, but Beth revelled in the strange emotion all the same. Her fingers were trembling as she gripped tightly to the dinner table and her heart was thrumming against her chest whilst her breathing came out in heavy and unsteady pants. Bath's expression was impassive except for the tears that were brimming in her light blue eyes, but she pushed and pushed and pushed them down, refusing to let them spill over her cheeks.
It had been such a long time since Beth had cried and despite the rage that was bubbling inside of her, Beth knew that she couldn't do anything to express her true emotions. Instead, Beth inhaled several long, deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself.
After all, it wouldn't do well to shame her father in front of all of the guests who were gathered at their table for dinner.
With that thought in mind, Beth tried her best to compose herself and after a few long moments she managed to offer her father a sweet smile. A few of the men at the table decided that this would be an appropriate time to congratulate Beth on the sudden yet exciting news of her surprise engagement. Beth made sure that she spoke some kind words of thanks to them when she felt that it was suitable for her to do so, even though all she wanted inside was to scream and shout and insist that this was anything but good news.
When Mister Grimes (an old friend of her daddy's and one of the only men that Beth recognised at the table) raised his glass in a toast to the news - "I'd like to propose a toast to Miss Bethany Greene, and wish her a happy marriage on the news of her engagement" - it took all of her strength to pick up her own cup and smile at him. It struck her as amusing in a very satirical manner that someone who had been in her life since the day that she was born was unable to pick up on how uncomfortable she was in that moment. If any of the guests who were gathered around the table noticed the way in which Beth inadvertently flinched at the sound of the glasses when they clinked together, they didn't show it.
For the rest of the evening, Beth sat silently at the table until she was dismissed by her father. He had consumed more alcohol than usual and his words were so slurred they were becoming incoherent. Still, it wasn't for Beth to tell him when to stop and it was times like this when she missed her mother more than anything else. As she pushed herself away from her seat at the table and bid goodbye to her father's guests, Beth caught the eye of one of the workers, Patricia. She could almost guarantee that the older woman knew exactly what she was thinking and gave her a sympathetic look as she passed.
Instead of crumbling inwardly the way in which she thought that she might do, Beth jutted out her chin and held her head high as she left the room and made her way towards her quarters. Beth's legs were slightly shaky but she was proud that she managed to make her way to her room without so much as a stumble.
It was only when the lock of the bedroom door clicked into place that Beth allowed herself the opportunity to cry. It had been such a long time since she indulged in her sorrow and whilst her sobs started off small and muffled, they were soon causing her whole body to shake violently and she was covering her mouth with one of her hands in an attempt to quieten herself down. Her free hand was clutching tightly to one of the bed posts as to support her body weight and keep her standing tall and Beth was sure that without it, she would most definitely have caved in on the cool floor.
There wasn't any way that Beth could have been sure of just how long she was stood rooted on the spot for. She remained frozen in position long after the last of her tears had ran down her cheeks and it was only when there was a knock on her bedroom door that Beth made any effort to wipe her face. Her effort to hide the evidence of her crying was poor and Beth made no attempt to open the door to her room until she heard Patricia's voice flutter through from the other side of the wood.
"It's just me, ma'am," Patricia said. "If you open the door, I can come and help you let your hair down."
That was all that it took for Beth to shuffle closer towards the door and unlock it. Now that she thought about it, her head was starting to hurt due to the way that her hair was pinned up so tightly. Still, Beth made no attempt to open the door for Patricia and she stood on the spot as the older woman tentatively pushed against the heavy wood and crept into Beth's room at a slow pace. Her eyes roamed over Beth's tear-stained cheeks before she diverted her gaze and busied herself with closing the door as quietly as she could and then locking it once again.
Patricia made no effort to say anything an an attempt to comfort Beth. In all truthfulness, the younger woman was pleased for it. Although Patricia and her husband Otis had worked for the Greene's for as long as Beth could recall, the woman still wasn't her mama and it wasn't her place to comment on Hershel's plans in the same way that it also wasn't Beth's place to, either.
If this was what her father wanted form her, then this was what she would do - even if her heart did break at the thought of marrying a stranger.
Perhaps she had been naive to think that this day wasn't coming for her anytime soon. After all, Hershel Greene was a well-known character in town, and most people knew of him if not for his lands, but for his two young daughters. As the eldest of the two girls, it had been Maggie who had been wed to a suitor first. Their father had arranged for his eldest to marry Shane Walsh, a wealthy man who had a few years on Maggie, but who seemed like a good choice for a husband nonetheless.
When it became clear that Maggie would have no choice but to move away to live with her husband in a town several hours away, Beth had been heartbroken. After all, her sister had always been her best friend and the two had relied on each other more than anything after their mama had passed. Beth wasn't sure that she would ever be as close to another person as she was to Maggie and even though her sister had been gone for several weeks now, the days still weren't getting much easier for Beth.
Still, no matter how sad she was that she had first lost her mother and now her sister, Beth couldn't blame her father for it the same way that she couldn't blame Mister Walsh. As his wife, Maggie had a duty to him and that meant that when he had to leave, so did she. In the same way, Shane had a duty to Maggie as her husband to provide for her. It had been work - more so the lack of it - that had driven him away from town, and Beth thought to herself that if her sister had to leave for any reason at all, then that reason was plenty good enough.
Once Patricia had finished with her hair and helped untie her corset, Beth dismissed her and insisted that she would be more than able to get herself into her nightclothes. Patricia looked at her with an uncertain expression for a long few seconds and had hovered in between Beth's bed and the bedroom door before she finally nodded her head in agreement and left with a simple "goodnight, ma'am." When she was ready for bed, Beth made sure to lock her door before she crawled under the sheets.
It took much longer than it usually did for Beth to settle on the mattress and even longer for her to finally drift off to sleep. For quite some time, Beth found herself lay on her back staring at the ceiling, unanswered questions of how many more night she had left of sleeping in her own bed, of living in her daddy's house, of enjoying her own company.
Soon - and probably much sooner than she would like - Beth was going to be married to a man that she had never even met before and living in a house that she had never set foot in, either. At that house, there would be no more Patricia to help her dress or assist with her hair. There would be no more long rides over her father's land whenever she felt inclined to get away with her horse, Nelly. Beth tried to reassure herself that there would probably be other workers and horses in her new home - after all, Hershel would never marry off one of his daughter's to a man who was without money.
Still, it would never be same.
Beth could only hope that her husband would not make her leave town the same way that Shane had done with Maggie because more than anything, Beth couldn't stomach the thought of leaving her father alone on the farm. He was barely able to look after himself and function well with her here - Beth dreaded to think what would happen if she were to leave.
Sleep finally came over her in what had to be the early hours of the morning, and Beth could hardly make out the sounds of the men laughing loudly from the dining room. Beth slept in later than she normally did and she awoke to the sound of frantic knocking at her bedroom door. She shot up in bed at the sound and rubbed her eyes sleepily before throwing the covers back and padding over to the door quickly.
As Beth had expected in her sleepy state, the knocking at the door was caused by a concerned-looking Patricia.
"Ma'am," Patricia nodded as she gave Beth's tired appearance a once-over before she stepped into the bedroom. Beth shut the door behind her and followed her further into the room, sitting herself down on the edge of the bed once Patricia had made it back up for her.
"We best hurry," Patricia said as she scurried around the bedroom, drawing open the curtains and quickly wiping over the surfaces of Beth's drawers. "We don't have much time before Mister Dixon arrives."
The unfamiliar name caught Beth's attention, and her head snapped up from where she had been tugging at the hem of her nightshirt to make eye contact with the older woman.
"Mister Dixon?" Beth questioned, her voice uncertain.
Deep down, Beth already knew who it was that Patricia was talking about. Her father had probably mentioned his name the night before, although Beth couldn't quite remember it. In fact, she didn't really remember anything other than the anger and hurt that she had felt at the time. Those bitter emotions were still residing in her chest, but they weren't quite as prominent as they had been last night.
More than anything, Beth wished that her father would have spoken to her about his plans in a more private setting. He had placed her in an uncomfortable and awkward situation by announcing her engagement in front of all of their guests and even though Beth knew that she would forgive him for it, she still couldn't help but feel disappointed by his actions.
Beth had thought that he would at least discuss something like marriage with her before he went and arranged the whole thing.
"Yes," Patricia said, not making eye contact with Beth as she pulled open some of her drawers and began to rummage through them. "Mister Dixon. Your fiance."
Beth nodded her head and didn't say anything else as Patricia continued to search through her drawers.
"What colour would you like to wear today, ma'am?" Patricia asked, and Beth just shrugged her shoulders non-enthusiastically in response.
Her movement caused Patricia to raise a brow and Beth was suddenly overcome with the childish urge to pout.
"Yellow," she decided with a sigh, and Patricia nodded her head before gathering Beth's things together and placing them on the bed beside her.
"We'll get you bathed first," Patricia said as she pulled out the different garments. "And then we'll do your hair once you're dressed. Would you like to have it down and curled?"
Beth nodded her head up and down in agreement with the suggestion before Patricia excused herself in order to draw up the bath. It was with a long sigh that Beth pushed herself up from where she was sat on the bed and went to gaze out of her bedroom window. Not for the first time in the last few hours, Beth wondered how much longer she had left on the farm.
"Your bath is ready," Patricia said as she re-entered the room. Beth made no attempt to move and Patricia cleared her throat, moving closer behind her. "Ma'am. Your bath is ready."
Beth finally turned her head towards her when Patricia placed her hand on her shoulder and Beth jumped in surprise at the contact. Neither of the women said anything to each other and Patricia settled on smiling kindly at Beth until she finally moved away from where she was stood at the window.
As poor as she was feeling, Beth reasoned with herself that she had to make the most of this situation. She didn't want to mope and feel sorry for herself despite the fact that she had always believed that her father would have arranged for her to marry for someone she at least knew of.
Beth thought that Hershel must have had a good reason to engage her so suddenly with this man and that was good enough for her. Besides, if her daddy thought that 'Mister Dixon' was a suitable choice of husband for her, then Beth would not disagree.
"I don't mean to rush you, ma'am," Patricia said, interrupting Beth from her thoughts. "But Mister Dixon will be here soon enough and we still have to curl your hair."
"Oh," Beth said, suddenly feeling very embarrassed by her distant behaviour. "I - of course. I'll be as quick as I can."
"Call for me if you need any assistance," Patricia said as Beth rushed into the washroom, not glancing behind her as she quickly stripped from her nightclothes and climbed into the steaming water.
You can do this, she told herself as she scrubbed her body clean with soap. Daddy wouldn't make you do this without a good reason.
Thank you for reading and please review!