*****I don't own Covert Affairs or anything associated with it. ******
Auggie had left for Africa over 2 years ago, I thought to myself as I got dressed to face another day. His name still brought a twinge of pain and a flutter of my heart. It was an involuntary action and one that I'd do anything to get rid of. I, Annie Walker was supposed to be strong, calm, cool, and collected. But when it came to my former best friend I was anything but.
I quickly blanked my mind as I rushed out the door of the apartment I had just bought. Danielle had kicked me out yet again and I had decided that I didn't want to be dependent on a sister who insisted on being so frustrating about my job. I loved her and the girls, I truly did but the move had to be done and we'd probably be better for it. I was running late so I sprinted down 2 flights of stairs, unwilling to wait for the elevator.
I climbed into my company car, a black sedan and hurriedly pulled out. I remembered Auggie's car that he'd given me… I couldn't bring myself to drive it since his departure from my life. It smelled of him, and as the wind whipped my hair, my brain was pummeled by memories of us. I just couldn't take it, every time I got behind the wheel his presence weighed down on me, mocking me, ripping at my heart.
I don't know when I started to resent August Anderson, but I figured it was a few months after he left. He'd made it apparent that he wasn't coming back and I hadn't even gotten a proper good bye. That hadn't mattered to Auggie, I didn't matter to Auggie. I had been just someone to pass the time with and letting me die in the field would have ruined his track record. He had never truly cared and that was the biggest blow I'd ever been delivered. But I was a big girl so I dusted myself off and went on with my life.
Stu became my new handler and he always made sure I made it home. There wasn't the bond I'd felt with Auggie but then again it had all been a trick played on me by my imagination, reading into things that weren't there. Stu and I were friendly enough and he always made sure I had my head on straight. I appreciated that.
I pulled up to Langley and parked my car in my designated parking spot and shot up onto the second floor. I got a few hellos as I walked through the office and one or two requests for drinks later that night, I declined saying I was busy. I soon made it to my desk and I got right down to business and began working on the paper work I had been putting off. Joan had started getting on my case about my reports lacking so I was trying to smooth things over with her.
"Here's your coffee darling," Stu said as he placed a cup of Starbucks coffee next to me.
I looked up at him and smiled. He was a nice guy and a very good handler, he was one of the few people I could call a friend.
"Thanks Stu, you're a life saver," I said with a small smile.
"Welcome Annie, couldn't have my favorite agent go through her day without coffee."
With that he walked off towards the Tec room and I smiled at his back, Yeah Stu was a friend.
"ANNIE! WHERE ARE MY REPORTS?" Joan yelled from the overseeing deck.
"Working on it now Joan. You'll have them by 1"
She took that as a good enough answer and walked off to terrorize someone else. I sighed in relief but the relief was short lived when I realized just how much paper work I had to do. But I worked diligently through the day and just like I had promised Joan all the reports were done by 1. I brought them to her office so she didn't come looking for me again.
"Here are your reports Joan," I said as she gave me admittance into her office.
"Thank you Annie. May I ask you a question before you go," She asked as she motioned for me to take a seat.
I took it and simply nodded my head, waiting to see what she had to say.
"As you may be aware it's been 2 years since Mr. Anderson has left us. He has yet to turn in his resignation and I do rather need one before I can wipe this agency's hands of him." She had stopped calling him Auggie after year one, she felt betrayed by him and no longer talked about him unless it was absolutely necessary. I understood the sentiment.
"Why haven't you just fired him," I ask even though I know it's none of my business, Auggie is not my business.
"I cannot fire an agent if I cannot find them. And Mr. Anderson is a very hard man to find nowadays," She said through clenched teeth.
"So, you'd like for me to find him?"
"Yes, if you agree your plane will leave in 4 hours, and you may not return until Mr. Anderson is dead or has served me with his resignation papers."
"Your saying I could be stuck in Africa for years upon years, until Mr. Better-than-thou decides to give me the privilege of seeing his arrogant face again?"
"Ultimately yes."
"I don't want it."
"Well, Annie when I said it was your choice I was only being polite, you don't really have a say in the matter."
"But Joan, I really don't want to do this. You know how hard I've worked to remove every single reference he's ever had in my life. Why would you make me do this? I'm almost there; I'm so close to being over this. Why?"
"Because you're the best Annie. I know it's not your ideal situation but the way I see it is that as soon as you find him and get his resignation. He'll never be able to come back, he'll be a forgotten memory and you can fully move on."
"Fine Joan. I know you're going to make me go anyways. You said 4 hours correct? Can I leave now; I've got some good byes to say," I asked as I stood slowly from my chair, feeling like I had just aged 15 years in the last 5 minutes.
"Yes, yes just be back here at Langley in 4 hours and read the case file," after handing me a file she shooed me from her room.
Just as I was about to walk out the door I turned around. "Hey Joan."
She looked up at me waiting for me to continue.
"Thanks, I'm going to miss you," I said a bit sheepishly.
"You're the best I've got Annie, hurry home."
I quickly left her office with a small smile on my face. It was short lived when I thought about where I would be 4 hours from now. I didn't want to do this and I realized I could have put up more of a fight but it wouldn't have gotten me anywhere. I walked absent mindedly towards my desk to gather my things. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and ran smack dab into a warm, built chest. Their arms came out to stop me from falling.
I looked up and saw Jai looking down at me with a bemused smile on his face.
"Head in the clouds Walker," he asked as he released me.
"You could say that Jai, "I replied as I looked up into his face, knowing that I'd miss him too even if his excessive flirting got on my nerves.
"What you got there," he asked, pointing to the folder that I had down by my side.
"New Mission. I don't know when I'll be back."
"Wow, um okay. But you'll be coming back right," he asked me worriedly.
"As soon as I can. I know it's hard to believe Jai… but I'm going to miss you."
He swept me up in a hug and my face automatically rested in the crook of his neck. I breathed in the scent of him, finding comfort in the man I knew. He held me tight to him and laid his face in my hair.
"I'm going to miss you too Annie," he whispered.
"I'll be back Jai, this isn't good bye. Have a little faith," with that I separated from him and brushed his forearm before I headed on towards Stu's Tec room.
"Stu," I called as I pushed through the glass door.
"Well hello there Darling, to what do I owe this pleasure," he asked as he spun around in his seat, the seat that used to be Auggie's.
"I've got a new mission. I'll be headed out soon just wanted to say good bye to my favorite Tec guy," I said as I closed the distance between us.
"Well, when you be back," he asked, seeming worried.
"Depends on how fast I can find the blind man," I said snarkily.
"Their sending you after Anderson," He practically yelled.
"Hush, don't be louder than necessary. Yes their sending me after him, no one else can find him. So they decided to send me in. Just like with Ben, I'm supposed to get him to come out of hiding," I said with disgust.
"I don't like this, especially since I wasn't read in," he replied as he got up from his chair and paced the floor in front of me.
"I know Stu, but this Mission could take years. I won't have a handler. It'll just be me out there with the occasional check in. But if I need anything, I'll call in, okay?"
"It'll have to do for now I guess. You be careful out there okay," he said as he took my face between his two hands.
"Always am Stu, Always am."
He still held my face and he seemed to be searching my eyes for something. He quickly wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me as close to him as he could possibly get me.
"I'm going to miss you horribly," he said into my hair.
"I'm going to miss you too," I replied.
Soon after he released me and I headed out of the office with a wave. He returned it and I could feel his eyes on my back as I exited the building. I got into my car and headed to my sister's place. Not knowing if she was going to let me in our not. I pulled into her drive way and slowly made my way to the front door, just hoping she'd let me say good bye.
I knocked timidly, nerves tying my stomach into knots. I could hear her walk to the door. I mentally prepared myself for rejection, for the sting of her disapproval.
"Annie, what do you need," she asked coolly.
"I just came to say good bye," I said hoarsely, emotions choking me.
"Where are you going," she asked, still trying to be cool towards me.
"I'm being sent to Africa to find some missing personnel."
"Auggie," her breathe caught and she looked at me with pity in her eyes.
My sister had seen, heard, and helped me cry over him to many times over the span of the two years he'd disappeared. She knew how much this must be hurting me and even if she didn't respect what I did, she still loved me.
"I'm so sorry Annie," she cooed as she ushered me into the house.
"It's all right Danielle, I'll be okay. I just don't know when I'll be back. I just had to come say good bye to you and the girls."
"Ok, Annie I'll call them down."
As soon as the girls were standing in front of me I knelt down before them and lowered my head, praying that I wouldn't be gone that long. That I'd be able to come back and they wouldn't be completely different, that they'd still love me. I explained to them that I was going on an extended vacation and I didn't know when I'd be back. The girls were subdued and clung very tightly to my neck when I asked for a hug good bye. I could feel a tear or two splash on my neck as they buried their heads in it. I held them tightly until I knew I had to let go. I stood up and Danielle sent them upstairs again.
"It's going to be okay, Danielle," I said as I laid my hand on her shoulder.
"You're going to come back right," she asked around a hiccup.
"Of course, don't I always," I gave her a cocky smile and pulled her into a hug.
She wept into my shoulder and I rubbed her back comfortingly. I whispered reassurances, trying to make her see that this wasn't good bye for forever. I would be back, I would be here for her, and I certainly wasn't abandoning her.
After an hour of simply comforting my sister, I escaped and now I had 2 left before I had to leave. So I decided to go to my apartment and pack my bag. I could buy what I needed in Africa; I just needed a few personal items. My apartment was only 25 minutes away from my sister's house and as soon as I pulled up and said hello to some passing neighbors I entered my apartment. It wasn't much but it was a place I could call my own. That reminded me I had to figure out a way to pay the rent on this place while I was away. I'd just talk to Joan about it back at Langley.
I hurriedly packed a few things and surveyed my apartment. All looked in order and it seemed that I had everything, so there was really no reason to waste time. I could head back to Langley now and get everything sorted out. I dumped my bag in the back seat and set off for Langley yet again, dreading it more this time than any other. I wanted to turn the car around and refuse to go in, I wanted to do anything that would stop this. Why did they have to send me in to get him? Why couldn't they get some other grunt to do it?
There was no use thinking like that because I knew it would get me nowhere. So I sucked it up and shut off any further thoughts then the ones that consisted of getting to Langley in one piece. A strong feeling of doom came upon me as I entered Langley. I took in every square inch of it committing it to memory along with everything and everyone else I had seen today. I wanted this place vivid in my mind, so I knew what I had to get back to and where I wanted to be.
I approached Joan's office and heard yelling coming from inside. Me, being the curious person I am, listened closely to what was being said. It was a little difficult to make out but I could understand the gist of it. Jai and Stu were in there arguing with Joan, about me. I wanted to step in and tell them all to be quiet, Joan had made her decision there was no need for them to get themselves in trouble over this. But something held me back and instead I listened.
"I know you both care for Annie, I do as well. But this is non-negotiable. She is going in and she is either bringing Anderson down, or in. Those are the only options we have, we don't know who he's playing for anymore and he knows too much. Without his resignation he still has open access to all our information. I can't block him and he knows it. Annie is our only hope. He cared for her a great deal. All we can hope for is that some of that stayed with him all this time," Joan said the tone of her voice saying that this was the end of the discussion.
The guys didn't seem to get the memo though because they pushed on without a sense of self-preservation or common sense. "Joan, we understand but we really shouldn't send her in alone. You know how much trouble Annie can get into, even on the simplest of missions. Danger just seems to find her. Are you really comfortable with putting one of your best agents on the line without a safety net to catch her," Jai asked heatedly.
"I've been her handler for 2 years Joan, and I'd like to be her handler for many more but I feel that if you put her in this situation without anyone to help her, then I fear she won't be around much longer," Stu said quietly, his voice filled with so much emotion.
"What do you two suggest I do then," Joan asked icily.
"Send at least one more person in with her, she can't do this alone, and she shouldn't have to," Jai said.
"Let me be her Handler. I'll still work other missions I'll just have two separate lines. One for Annie and one for whomever else I'm handling. I can handle both, I swear," Stu said eagerly.
"Fine, if that's what it'll take to get you out of my office and away from me for at least 24 hours. Jai you're going with Annie, pack your things, you have one hour." With that they were dismissed and this time they took the cue.
Jai and Stu ran into me as I tried to back away from the door quickly. But I hadn't moved fast enough and Stu caught me around the waist.
"Now Annie, weren't you ever taught that eavesdropping is impolite," Stu asked with a smirk.