Ok, I admit it, I have been binge watching CSI: Miami. And I really enjoy complex, hard to understand characters. So, I find Horatio Caine fascinating. But I found the last episode rather anticlimactic, and decided to write my own end of the series. This takes place immediately after the closing scene of 10x01, Countermeasures. Major character death, and totally AU. Oneshot.
The world seemed to recede a bit after Horatio got into Agent Locklear's SUV. He was aware when Locklear called ahead to the hospital, and then she called Eric and told him where they were going. There were flashes of hospital rooms, doctors, nurses. The doctor was telling him something important, but Horatio just couldn't bring himself to care.
Then a spell of blessed quiet and rest. Suddenly Marisol was there with him. She was as bright, as truly present as always when he saw her now. They were in a hospital room, his he presumed, but everything was sharp and clear.
"Marisol," he whispered. He was so tired, not in pain, but exhausted.
"Horatio, you have been so brave, so strong," Marisol replied. "Your almost done, you just have one or two little things to do."
"Can't I come with you this time?" he asked longingly.
"Not just yet, but soon, my love," she said. "Eric is coming, you will know what to do when he gets here. Take care of these little details, and then I will come back."
"Marisol, Marisol," he begged.
Things faded away again, and when the room came back into focus Eric was there, surprisingly holding his hand, with tears in his eyes.
"You still remember her?" he asked Horatio, grief and wonder in his eyes.
"Always, Eric," said Horatio. His voice was a little stronger. He still felt so tired, so weak. But he was passed caring about this. "How long have I got?" he asked.
"The doc says 2 or 3 days at most, H. You've lost a lot of blood, and there is an infection in the wound, and in your lungs" said Eric roughly. "The bacteria are in your heart muscle, too. Your heart is just worn out."
Horatio absorbed this news calmly. Marisol had said, "Soon", and he found he wasn't afraid, or angry, just hopeful. She had said he had things to do, though. Even in death there were practical matters to attend to, and of course, spiritual ones as well. Hmmm.
"Eric, there are some things I need your help with," said Horatio. "Do you have my cell phone?"
"Yeah, it's here with your stuff. Who do you want to call? I already got in touch with Yelina, she should come by later. And the team knows of course, but they won't let many people in here."
"First, go to my contacts and type in ZICE, dial that for me, please," asked Horatio.
At first Eric was confused, but then he realized this was the last entry in the phones contacts. Z: In Case of Emergency. Huh, who would get that call? He hit the dial button and was surprised to see a New York area code appear on the screen. Horatio gestured towards himself, so Eric held the phone to H's ear.
"Hello, Horatio, long time, my friend," came the gentle voice of the man on the phone.
" Eminence," Horatio whispered, "I think it is finally enough. I need to see you, one more time. Can you come?"
"Of course," replied the voice, more serious now. "How long?"
"The doctors give me two or three days, so if you could hurry…" Horatio managed to get out.
"Horatio, are you alone? Is there anyone with you?" replied the voice now, urgently.
Horatio gestured to Eric to take the phone. He brought it to his ear and spoke, "Hello, this is Eric Delko, I'm Horatio's brother-in-law. Who is this please?"
"This is Cardinal Benedetti, I am an old friend of Horatio's. Is this true, is he dying?" asked the Cardinal.
Eric's head was in a muddle, a Cardinal was H's emergency contact. He shook his head and spoke. "Yes sir, he was wounded and then a lot of stuff went down. He's just worn out, and I think he is missing Marisol. He is just ready to let go," Eric choked out.
"I'll be there, as quick as I can, but even that will take until tomorrow at least. Tell him to hang on if he can," urged the Cardinal.
"If it is important to him to see you, I know he will last," replied Eric brokenly.
"I see you know him well" gently said the Cardinal. "I'll text this number with my flight arrangements, and what hospital is he at?"
Eric and the cardinal worked out the arrangements and signed off. Horatio drifted off again. Eric waited by his side, and about 10 minutes later Horatio called out, "Eric!"
"Yeah, H, I'm here, what do you need?" answered Eric.
"Call Susie, ask her to come", managed Horatio. "And is there any way to turn down the pain meds? They're making me feel fuzzy."
"Susie, got it," replied Eric. "But H, it's gonna hurt if we dial those meds back."
"That's ok, Eric, it's not for long, and I want to be sharp," Horatio shot back.
"Alright, I'll ask the nurse," replied Eric dubiously.
A doctor came in, and respecting Horatio's wish not to have a clouded mind showed Horatio how to control his own pain medicine. He also brought in an oxygen tank and hooked it up to a set of cannula, which helped Horatio breathe. His color improved a bit.
Eric kept his vigil by Horatio's bed. People came and went, and for a few Horatio rallied and spoke words of comfort to them. Eric and Yelena found out they were the executors of his estate, which surprised Eric, but not, apparently, Yelena. Susie came, and she and Yelena spoke a bit. They exchanged contact information.
Calleigh came in, tears in her eyes, and Horatio did his best to comfort her. Then came Wolfe, and Alexx.
When Horatio saw Alexx he smiled that gentle smile, and she returned it. She held his hand for a while and they spoke quietly. Tears ran down her face even as she radiated that gentle smile.
As the pain meds wore down Horatio's eyes became a bit brighter, and his voice stronger, but lines of pain formed around and between his eyes. His breathing became rougher, and his color faded. His lips took on a greyish tinge. Finally, a nurse called a halt to visitors. She brought a soft chair for Eric, who, as family, was allowed to stay.
The night came on, and Horatio allowed a little more pain medicine. Eric settled into the chair, which he had brought as close to the bed as he could. He spent an uneasy vigil, contemplating all he knew about Horatio, and wondering about all he didn't. H didn't invite warm, fuzzy friendships, and hid behind a deep emotional reserve, and suddenly Eric wondered why. Had Marisol known? She said that he didn't really know Horatio, all those years ago. As the night wore on Horatio began to toss and turn and call out. Marisol's name came most often, sometimes tortuously, sometimes joyfully. It seemed as if he was asking her for something she wouldn't grant. Other names, some familiar to Eric, like Raymond, and others not. Many were names of the men Horatio had been forced to kill. Those seemed to torment him the worst.
Just before dawn he woke and called out, "Eric!"
"Yeah, H, I'm here," replied Eric. "Do you have to go, now, H? Can't you stay? I'm not ready to let you go, man."
Horatio gave him a look of deep sympathy. "Do you remember, just 2 years ago, when you were so badly wounded? I begged you to stay then, and you did. But I also told you that I often think of slipping away, to see Marisol again, to be with her. I am so tired Eric. I'm sorry to leave you and the others, but I need to do this. And now I don't think my body is going to give us a choice," he continued. "One more thing, Eric, tell my son, Kyle, that I am sorry I can't be there for him. He's in the will, of course, but would you watch out for him, when he is town?"
"H, he is my nephew, he's family. Of course I'll be there for him!" replied Eric.
The morning came, and Calleigh came in on her way to work. She brought Eric some clean clothes, and a meal. Horatio woke while she was there, and smiled at them, a gentle, sweet smile, happy to see them there together.
Natalia came in, struggling not to cry. She felt responsible in a way. If Horatio hadn't jumped into the water to save her he might not be dying now.
"Don't Natalia," whispered Horatio as fiercely as he could. "I couldn't have done otherwise. I couldn't have lived with the knowledge that you could be saved, and not try. And we did it, we caught them, we saved the girl. It was worth it!"
Late in the morning the Cardinal came in, but somberly dressed in simple priestly blacks. Eric stood, and moved to the side. The motion woke Horatio, and he smiled to see the priest. Then he looked around, and seeing Eric waved him over. Eric took up a post on the other side of the bed.
"Well, old friend, here we are at last," said the priest cryptically.
Horatio looked up at the priest and again smiled that gentle, sweet smile. Seeing this the priest conversely grew more somber, as he had never known Horatio to be so forthcoming with his emotions.
"Yes, Father, finally it is enough. I know that now. But Marisol won't let me in until I speak with you. She felt it was very important, so here we are. I am afraid it has been a while for me," spoke Horatio haltingly.
The priest turned toward Eric, and said, "I think Horatio and I need a few minutes alone. Why don't you go refresh yourself, get a cup of coffee, and come back in 10 or 15 minutes?"
Eric squeezed Horatio's hand, and said, "I'll be back in a bit," and left the room. He was in a state of complete confusion. Was H going to give his confession, and receive the last rites? As a Catholic, he was relieved for Horatio. Had H seen Marisol, who was long dead? Eric went down to the ground floor and wandered outside. The fresh air and natural light were refreshing after many hours inside. He called Calleigh and told her what was going on. He had a feeling H wouldn't stick around long now. Calleigh said she would bring the team as soon as they could get away.
Eric grabbed a cup of coffee and meandered back toward Horatio's room. The priest had donned a simple stole, and was seated next to H, with his eyes closed, and listening to Horatio. Apparently, H said something startling, for suddenly the priest looked up and rose. He turned to leave the room and saw Eric at the door.
"Oh, good, you're back. It's unusual, but he wants you to hear this next bit," explained the priest.
"H, are you sure you want me to hear this?" asked Eric.
"Yes!" gasped Horatio. "I never apologized for Marisol, I never let you know how responsible I was for her death!" Anguish and pain were written plain on Horatio's face. He turned back to the priest.
"Father, all those years, I almost never sought comfort, I never truly opened up to anyone until Marisol. I considered it part of my penance. And I knew I would make enemies, and any person close to me would be at risk. I had certainly learned that with Rachel. But Marisol was so persistent, she wouldn't take no for an answer. And then that first evening, at dinner, she saw right into me, she knew me in a way no one else had. And I knew she was very ill, so I thought we could be happy together, even for just a little while. Then we found out she was in remission and even though we were overjoyed, I was worried. The Mala Noche were always at the back of my mind." Now tears began to pour from Horatio's eyes. "Oh, forgive me, Eric, he pleaded. "If I had kept to myself she might still be alive. Riaz swore to strip me of everyone I loved!"
"H, No!" exhorted Eric. "It was your love, and your hope, that made her want to live. The remission might not have happened without it. I never blamed you!"
"Marisol, Marisol" whispered Horatio. The emotion of the preceding moments seemed to have exhausted him, and it looked as if he had fallen asleep. His breathing now rattled, and his color was alarmingly bad. Eric was struggling to compose himself. He was also feeling guilty. He should have tried to help H more after Marisol, but at the time they had silently agreed to put it all behind them. His heart ached to think of H carrying around that needless guilt.
"When Marisol was shot, there were some deaths I regretted, Father," continued Horatio. "They boxed in the ambulance she was in, and I shot my way out. One of the attackers was lying on the pavement, badly wounded, but he still tried to get his gun. I didn't kick it away, or handcuff him, I just shot him. He was in my way, I had to get to Marisol. Most of the men I have killed I did so only as a last resort, after I had given them every chance to stop, to surrender, or even just walk away. But I was so angry, at Riaz and myself. I didn't even know his name at the time. And when I was extradited to Brazil, I killed again, to save myself, but that one man, with the machete, I could have spared and didn't. I feel like I keep killing in anger, and extending my penance."
"And Riaz?" asked the priest.
"Ahh," moaned Horatio. "God forgive me, I can't be sorry for that. He killed Marisol, then he killed Ray, then he went after Ray Jr. I had to stop him. There were so many others he could have harmed. Yelina, Madison, Suzie, Kyle, Eric, Calleigh, Ryan, the whole team. And the justice systems of two countries failed me. Eric and I knew we had to stop him. When he came at me with the knife I didn't hesitate to end it. Part of it was revenge, but it was also like killing a poisonous snake you find on the playground. You have to protect the innocent."
"Horatio, you have spent your life in atonement for taking justice into your own hands after your mother was murdered," began the priest. Eric flinched at these words. "You have lived a life of penance and self-denial, and used your intelligence and skill to bring justice and peace to victims and their families. Listen to me, Horatio, it is enough. You can lay it down now."
As the priest said these words a look of peace began to steal over Horatio's face. The lines of anguish began to smooth out, as he and the priest went through the rest of the rite. Eric noticed suddenly that a light fragrance began to fill the room. With a start, he recognized it as being like a perfume Marisol used to wear. It was lighter and even more pleasant than he remembered. He looked around, but they were alone in the room. Calleigh was waiting outside, with the team, so Eric went out to them.
"I don't think it will be long now," said Eric. "He's had a rough morning, but he seems to be at peace now." He was unaware of the tears running down his face. Calleigh approached him, and he startled her by drawing her into a hug. He turned with her back into the room. The priest had just placed a tiny fraction of a Host on Horatio's tongue.
As Eric and Calleigh entered the room Horatio began to smile. It grew from the sweet, small smile they had known into an expression of joy they had never seen on his face. Light seemed to glow from his ruddy complexion. All the lines of weariness, pain, anxiety, and grief were smoothed away. They stood amazed, staring at his face, and he whispered one more time, "Marisol!" Then his expression became fixed, and they were all startled by the sudden steady tone of the heart monitor. The priest reached up and closed Horatio's eyes, as a nurse quietly came in and turned off the machine. As she went out the other members of the team filtered in.
"I can't believe he's gone," whispered Calleigh into Eric's shoulder.
"That is one of the holiest passings I have ever witnessed" murmured the priest. "Friends, stay a while, remember Horatio. He lived a life of true heroism." He turned to Eric, "Come with me for a moment."
"Eric, most of what you have heard you shouldn't share with the others. It was Horatio's wish that his motivation for his work, the things that drove him, remain hidden," instructed the priest.
"Wait, what?" exclaimed Eric. "Father, they should know, they would want to know some of those things."
"Didn't they follow and admire, even love him, without knowing?" gently asked the priest. "He needed you to know about Marisol, but the rest was part of his confession to me. Honor that, and him, by keeping it to yourself."
"Alright Father, I guess so. He was such a private person, I can see how it would bug him," agreed Eric. "But I am gonna learn from this, not to shut people out, not to keep them at arm's length." As he said this his gaze drifted back into the room, and he moved back to Calleigh's side.
"That sounds like a good plan," murmured the priest, as he turned away. He would give Horatio's family and friends this time to mourn him. Then there would be arrangements to make. He went to the hospital chapel to pray for the soul of that brave man.