A/N: Yeah, sorry about the so-so quality of this piece but I have a bunch of crap going on irl and at long last managed to put down these words and I'm just happy to have finished writing this dumb idea I've been toying with for a few weeks.
Petals
The coughing was back.
Gray was catching himself on the sink in his bathroom. The hellish itch wouldn't let him be. And the result would be the same. Again.
A red rose petal, with its edges in a familiar pink, fell onto the pristine white porcelain.
The itching had calmed for the moment. It would return, unfortunately.
Gray let himself slide down the wall so that he sat on the hard floor. He ran a hand through his hair as he let out a sigh. Eyes closing, he tilted his head back, head knocking lightly against the tiled wall. A frown settled onto his features.
The thing was… Gray was sick.
It had been a sudden thing and he hadn't said anything to anyone. But he'd done some research and ended up finding what was ailing him.
It wasn't… pretty…
Though, Gray imagined, probably a romantic person such as Lucy might find some beauty in the whole situation…
But Gray had some dark thoughts about the whole situation. Yes, he'd read about what he had, what would happen – how it could be reversed. But it was hopeless to Gray.
It was stupid how things were. For most of your life you could look at a person and just think of them as a friend – a best friend – but one day that view shattered into small pieces and you got an unexpected realization. Something that could shake one to the core. And Gray had been shaken to the core.
Because, apparently, he had fallen in love with a dumb fire mage. His best friend.
It didn't make much sense at first but, the more Gray thought about it, the more he understood his own romantic attachments to the other. It was a bit of a bizarre thought but it also made a little bit of sense. And then the whole situation where petals started coming off his throat kind of cleared it all. Well, after he had learned about things with his research.
Thankfully the coughing only appeared when he was at home.
So far.
As the symptoms progressed, it made sense that things would worsen out to Gray.
It was gradual but Gray got worse. He became more reclusive, not going on as many missions as usual because how was he supposed to act if he just started spewing rose petals all of a sudden?
There was one thing that he could do but Gray dreaded that too much. For Gray wasn't a coward usually, heck, he would give his life and stand before any danger that might stand before his friends and family. Yet… he didn't see himself lowering his walls before Natsu, letting his guard down.
Natsu was immature a good part of the time. He had his moments of maturity, granted, but… this kind of situation would most likely end up in the far side of immaturity. And what would happen with Gray?
No.
He couldn't do it.
But, his friends had noticed how closed off he'd become. They tried to pull him out of it. Natsu tried to rouse Gray into more of their rival-friendly rows. To that Gray always excused himself and hurried someplace isolated. Then he would feel the petals surge and there was the novelty of stems appearing too. The thorns slicing the inside of his throat painfully.
Breathing became hard. His whole body felt weak and clammy. And he realized he didn't pay much mind to his surroundings as he was hurrying to get away. Apparently he'd gotten into the wrong bathroom.
Gray couldn't help the groan that ripped out of his throat, pain and all.
What the hell is Juvia doing here?
Gray opened his mouth once, twice, but no sound escaped.
But the water mage, contrary to what Gray expected only looked at Gray, silent and with a heavy gaze, she looked into the roses Gray was still holding, even though they were yucky with saliva and blood. Then she left, mouth closed in a tight line.
His legs not holding his weight, Gray sat down heavily on the floor. Throwing the flowers into the nearby bin, repulsed by them. And then it hit him.
Maybe Juvia had acted like that because she recognized what it was?
Because she might be going through a similar thing?
That would explain the reason as to why she had gotten some distance…
Gray was actually kind of relieved that she wasn't following his every move anymore, hiding behind walls, trees or whatnot or sitting behind him. No, Gray had been able to breathe. Well, before the whole debacle, that is.
Because the whole situation only had a few outcomes; the person could remain harbouring those feelings and the whole thing growing inside would get worse, most likely suffocating the person as the internal organs were punctured and the result was death. Or the person could put some distance from the object of the feelings, though this would just diminish the symptoms a little bit, the end was probably going to be the same as the other person. There was an option by the medical community where a complex spell was woven that ended up removing the seeds that apparently were inside the person – though this also removed the feelings and memories from the object of the affections. And, finally, there was the confession and returned feelings. The latter option was the very optimistic one, Gray had serious doubts it happened frequently.
So, yes, Gray had been attempting to do the second option, getting distance from Natsu – only the infuriating dragonslayer didn't seem to get Gray's subtle yells of "go away" and was like a thorn on his side – the irony wasn't lost on Gray, he just didn't feel much like finding it fun.
And it was silly because it meant his survival but Gray didn't want to erase his memories of Natsu. Maybe Lucy's romantic ideas had rubbed off on him (she had been hanging with him, babbling about some idea or another she had had to her current book – and there was a lot of romantic stuff in those stories) but he didn't feel comfortable with erasing a life of friendship, of adventures and fun. Gray didn't want to erase the annoying fire mage from his life, it was as simple as that. But that meant that he was damning himself for a bad ending.
Gray knew that he couldn't say anything to Natsu. It was impossible. He'd had those feelings for Lisanna a long time ago – he'd been crushed when she died, provoking too many fights with anyone who would indulge him which Gray, as a good friend, did often. And then he and Lucy had been inseparable ever since the blonde mage had come to the guild. Yes, there were some strange feelings going there.
Gray just didn't stand a chance.
But, it was also really stupid to let things stay like that, no?
As he opened his eyes – when had he closed them? – he noticed that Lucy was standing by the doorway, a worried expression in her face.
"Are you alright?" she asked in a muted tone. As Gray didn't answer she continued, "I saw Juvia leave and she was acting very strangely. I knew you had to be involved."
"What do you mean with that?" Gray asked tiredly. He gathered his strength and stood. One hand instantly pressed against the wall as he felt lightheaded.
"What's wrong with you, Gray?" she reiterated.
"'m fine." Gray mumbled, eyes not meeting the celestial mage's.
"Stop lying." Lucy's voice showed that she was getting impatient. "I know that something's wrong. You wouldn't be acting all weird if there wasn't. We wouldn't have Natsu moping during the missions because he doesn't have you to yell at."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Gray said in a huff.
"Natsu misses you. You should go see him. Talk to him." Lucy took a few steps forward so that she could place a hand on his shoulder. Her line of sight landed on the bin, a sudden flash of acknowledgement. "You're not, too?" she muttered, her hand releasing Gray almost as if she'd been burned.
"Me too, what?" Gray was confused.
"Go talk to Natsu." Lucy told him adamantly.
Gray shook his head quickly. He quickly headed out, unmindful of Lucy's yell of his name.
"Talk to Natsu, talk to Natsu!" Gray muttered, hands moving distractedly around as he paced his living room. "As if it were that easy." Gray stopped, running a hand through his face. "No, forget it." He kept pacing and grumbling.
A knock on the door stopped him short. He looked at the wooden panel as if it could suddenly become transparent and show him who was on the other side. Alas, he had to go there himself.
"Who is it?" Gray asked, voice composed.
"It's Natsu. Can we talk?" the voice came slightly muffled. But the odd politeness gave Natsu some pause.
"What do you want?" Gray asked through gritted teeth, the itch seemingly starting to erupt.
"Lucy told me that I should talk to you." He replied stubbornly.
"Fine." Gray replied, pushing the door open and seeing the other's dishevelled state. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Nothing." Natsu grumbled pushing past Gray and stepping inside his house.
"Okay. What is it you want to talk about?" Gray said, tone cold, his back still turned to the other mage. He closed the door calmly before turning around and looking at Natsu.
"Here." Natsu extended his hand, something held inside it. "Come on! Take it." He said impatiently.
"I don't- wait, what's this?" he asked confused as the bluish and yellow petal landed on his palm.
"Violet petal." Natsu supplied in a monotone.
"What the-?" Gray said once again, confused.
"What do you think?" Natsu said tiredly.
Both stopped and stared at the other. The air charging with electricity over the unnamed words.