Title: Priorities
Fandom: Stargate
Atlantis
Category/Rating: Angst, Romance, In-Episode, PG
Spoilers:
The Siege, Part II
Summary: Her duty and her heart's desire
conflict, but she has to do what she can and saving his life is no
longer in the gameplan. (John/Elizabeth)
---
My hands are shaking. I curl my fingers into my palms again, and my nails dig through the skin, drawing blood. It makes the trembling stop. It doesn't cause me a fraction of the amount of pain that letting him leave did, but I know that I had to do it. He tried to give me the choice, but we both knew neither of us could choose otherwise in the circumstances.
His suicide mission is the only hope for Atlantis' survival, but I'm not sure there'll be much left of me when he's done... what he has to do. I didn't realise quite how I felt until today. Funny, the way impending doom can alter your priorities.
I have my duty, and I must perform it. I know that. Elizabeth must put herself, her personal feelings aside, and Dr. Weir, leader of the Atlantis expedition, must take over and mount all defence possible to save the members of her group.
Even if it means letting John Sheppard go to his death for us.
God, what have I done?
It's to save lives.
He's going to die.
It's too late, Elizabeth.
He's already gone, already committed, and I must take back my heart from him before he gets himself killed or I won't live out the year even if the expedition survives this onslaught. I never meant to fall in love with him; it just happened that way, despite my best efforts to prevent it.
I shouldn't be thinking about this now.
Do your duty, Dr. Weir.
To Earth, and to Atlantis: with a steady hand and no outward signs of pain.
fin