A/N: Hey guys,

Episode 7x15, my retake on the Bamon scene.

Hope you enjoy...

ch:1 [Not Okay]

It was not the fact that Damon decided to leave her all alone or the fact that he probably regreted his decision of choosing her over Elena, it was just the sight of him caressing Elena's coffin so lovingly while his own awaiting coffin lie a foot away from him that almost had Bonnie crying. She can't breakdown now, she has to be strong. She didn't deserved this...well, there are many other things she didn't deserved that had had happened to her but this time it hurts so bad.

"you weren't even gonna say goodbye?" Bonnie asked, pretending to sound strong even though it was the last thing she felt, she walked forward and stopped in front of Damon who looked a little startled by her presence. He jerked his hand away from Elena's coffin and looked towards her with his tired blue eyes. This was not something he was hoping to deal with before he was gone for good period.

Goodbyes. There is this thing about them that goodbyes hurts more when you know there is not going to be another was afraid of saying goodbye to her face so he wrote her and Stefan a letter. He felt like he won't be able to stick to his decision if he faced her, she will talk him out of this. Damon wanted to avoid that, but apparently he can't.

"Look, I wrote you a letter."He said, looking at her searchingly. He was looking for some sign saying that she read the letter but find none. Bonnie narrowed her eyes at him and folded her arms. yes, he wrote her a freaking letter and obviously she didn't read it. why would she? She had done everything in her power to make him feel better, she had always been a good friend to him, would listen to his fucking rant for hours and what she get? a stupid goodbye letter.

"oh, and that suppposed to make your stupid decision okay?" Bonnie asked angrily. Damon opened his mouth to say something but Bonnie stopped him by raising her hand. "what does your stupid letter even say, huh?" she asked not waiting for his reply. "That when you see me all you can think of is what a stupid choice you made?" She blinked her eyes violently to stop the tears. So much for being looked at her with clenched fist and thinned lips.

He will loose his mind if anything were to happen to her. He could never regret his decision of choosing her, he would do it all over again if required. How could she even think that? but then he realised the answer of his own question. It's him. It's him who had made her feel that way, he treated her wrong , made her feel like she was a wrong choice. Damon hated himself even more for what he did to her. Bonnie continued.

" or that when you look at me all you see is not Elena? or...or you just wish that i die?" Damon's eyes widened at this,a growl passing his lips, he flashed in front of her and grabbed her by her shoulders, probably trying to shake some sense in her. She looked up at him.

"It doesn't say that. " Damon said through his gritted teeth. "you know i don't feel that." He said, looking into her eyes. Bonnie shook her head and tried to push him away but he didn't budge.

"don't you get it? i don't care what your fucking letter say...i only care about the decision you made." She said, trying to push him away this time succeeding. He looked deflated. A lone tear slipped from her eye. He hated seeing her this way and hated it even more when he is the reason behind them. But he can't stay, if he did he won't be able to control himself from falling for her even harder. She deserves someone better than him.

"Bonnie...please ju-"Damon tried again.

"just tell me...are we friends?"Bonnie asked quietly. Damon just looked at her but didn't said anything. If only he could tell her that she is more than a friend to him, she is his anchor, she is something that he can't live without. But he have to eliminate himself from her life so she can live it fully. Bonnie took his silence as a 'No'.

"Do you know what i regret the most?"She asked, looking straight in his eyes. He knew her answer before she even started. She regret him.

"i regret ever knowing you. i regret our time in prison world.." Bonnie said in a shaky voice, her eyes watery. If he says this hurts then it would be an understatement. Their time in prison world even after kai is something he will forever cherish, and hearing her say that she regreted it, burned him to the core. He took a step back to steady himself. "I regret, that you were the first person i came to see after my return from prison world." She was crying freely now, her knees felt is going to loose him today, how can he do this to her. Damon catched her before her knees can hit the ground and she let him. "You are just a simple regret, i thought...i knew who you were.."

"Bon you know me better than anyone else...even better than Stefan." Damon said softly, carresing her tear streaked face before his hands started searing. He gritted his teeth to stop himself from wincing but he didn't let go of her face. torture stopped and she looked him dead in the eyes.

"I am not okay with this decision." Bonnie said with a new found strength. "I'm not okay with you choosing yourself." She pushed him away by her magic and stood up."I'm not okay with never seeing you ever again. This hurts me." Damon stood up from his position and took a step towards her, causing her to back away. He stopped seeing her reaction.

"This hurts, this hurts me." She sniffed" And as you desiccate, and as you feel the pain of hunger as the blood drains from your body, that's what i want you to you hurt me." He can never forget the look on her face, he can never forget how much he had hurt her.

"I am broken Bonnie, you don't need me.."Damon started but Bonnie backed away from him towards the door, shaking her head.

"It's funny how you are the broken one,and i am the one falling apart into pieces." she sniffed, looking at him with tear filled eyes. She hates him so much for doing this to her, for making her feel so vulnerable. What hurts the most is when you are there for someone through thick and thin, you stick with them,no matter what. Then one day they just give up on you and themselves. The one thing you would never have done,they did it with no hesitation.

"Bon please...liste-"

"No No you don't get to say goodbye." She said and ran out of the door. He let his hands drop by his side, still looking at the exit before walking back towards his awaiting coffin.

Two days later...

3 A.M.

Bonnie shifted and turned on her right side, slightly adjusting her pillow and blinked a few times to let her eyes adjust to the darkness in her room. She squinted her eyes when she saw a figure sitting on her chair near the bed,her heart pounding in her rib cage. Her fingers tingled with magic, and then she realised it's...Damon. Maybe she is hallucinating and had finally lost her mind, but when she saw him standing up on his feet and opening his arms wide for her...she knew it's real.