"I was never really Ranma Saotome. Sure, people called me that and I do have the Saotome blood inside of me, but I was never really 'Ranma'."
"From the day I was born I have been called Ranma, and yes in a way I am Ranma in that I am Genma and Nodoka Saotome's son. However, my very body never belonged to 'me'."
"I went by many titles in my life. I was my father's son, Mr. Tendo's future son-in-law, Kasumi's future brother-in-law, Nabiki's bitch, Akane's perverted fiancé, the old letch's heir, and my mother's manly son. I was Shampoo's husband, Ucchan's best friend and fiancé, Kodachi's Ranma-sama. I was even Ryoga's rival, Mousse's obstacle, and Kuno's foul sorcerer. And yet while I hold all of these titles, I was never Ranma even though people called me that."
"My life had been decided for me even before I was born. My father decided that I would marry one of Mr. Tendo's daughters, that I would be the world's best martial artist, and that I would work and sweat for a living as my father and his best friend would sit around drinking sake and playing shogi all the time. I would run the dojo while Akane does whatever it is that she wants, Nabiki would con me out of my money and then I would be blamed when there's not enough money to pay the bills, and Happosai would feel up my girl side while beating up my male form. Even sweet Kasumi expects me to eat Akane's cooking because she spent so much time making it, that it's only right that 'I' and 'I' alone should eat it. And my mother would expect me to screw every girl in sight to give her grandchildren"
"If it is not my 'family' deciding what to do with my life others would decide it for me. Shampoo and the old ghoul would want me to be the breeding stock for their village while Mousse wants me dead and out of his way for Shampoo's heart. The Kunos want to fuck me or kill me depending on what form I am in. Ucchan, no, Ukyo, wants me to be her husband that runs her restaurant with her, even though she knows I'm unfit for it. Ryoga just plain wants me dead, and to be the fault for everything going wrong in his life even if I'm six feet under."
"While everyone thinks my father's stupid, I know different. How could the man who made two schools of martial arts so deadly they had to be sealed away be called stupid, even if he made them so he could steal? I guess they don't see the true genius of his actions. He knew exactly how to make me controllable. Why else do you think he took me away from my home and mother? As long as he was the only influence I had in my life I would listen to everything he said. That way he could mould me into whatever he wanted me to be, which is what I am now. Not Ranma, but whatever everyone wants me to be."
"He only messed up on one thing, my ego. Everyone knows that I have an ego the size of China. Did he really think someone whose ego was that big would stay under someone's thumb for that long? No, I wanted to do something that he did not approve of, that he had no way of controlling no matter what he does."
"That's why I let Kasumi serve me tea. That's why I dropped my guard to let the old letch to turn me into a girl and put me in a pair of very sheer bra and panties. That is why I ate the drugged food I knew came from the Amazons. That is why I invited my mother over for dinner earlier that day, so that she can see me opening the zipper of Ryoga's pants. That is why Akane was enraged so much that she threw the tea at me."
"I have faith in reincarnation. After all, I have seen it done before by a Phoenix God. I can only hope that my next life would be my own."
"I'm really sorry you had to be here to see this. I know that my father engaged you to me for a case of sake, but as you can see with me wearing this white robe and my mother sharpening the Saotome honor blade that I cannot marry you. If you want I can repay you for the case of sake, as it's my 'duty' to fix up my father's messes. My pack is upstairs. Inside you'll find whatever money my father hasn't stolen from me or Nabiki hasn't taken from me. If you're lucky neither one of them has gone through it yet."
Author's Notes
I did this whole thing in a little over an hour. The idea just struck me and would not let me do anything until I wrote it. Hopefully you readers didn't find it too boring. This will more than likely be a one-shot since I can't really think of what to put on next.