Pictures fly across the screen... we see Angle throwing Shane through glass
at a past King of the Ring, we see Jazzmaster doing a funny dance, we see
HBK hitting HHH with a sweet chin music, Kane choke-slamming RVD,
Jazzmaster doing a ridiculously over the top laugh, then the words "Fun and
Grappling Frolics" appear on the screen and the intro is over.
Now we see Jazzmaster sitting behind a desk, William Regal sits at the side of the desk and we see a number of buildings outside the window behind them.
Jazzmaster: Hello ladies and gentleman, both in our audience and watching us at home, and welcome to the first ever edition of 'Fun and Grappling Frolics.' I'm our host for the show, my name is Jazzmaster, author of many humorous WWE fanfics and I once won a bronze Judo medal. I don't really have many other accomplishments to my name, but uh, moving on, this is my co-host William Regal.
Regal: Good evening James.
Jazzmaster: While I sit behind this desk my name is Jazzmaster.
Regal: It's a rather undignified thing for me to say.
Jazzmaster: Okay, that's my host William Regal, personally I was pushing for Molly Holly but this is who the WWE sent me. Coming up on today's show we got an interview with The Game himself HHH, Eric Bischoff will be here and also William regal will kiss my ass at some point.
Regal: No I bloody well will not.
Jazzmaster: First tonight though is my thoughts, yes I do actually have some, so let me tell you about RAW last week. It sucked. Let me tell you about the tenth anniversary show. It sucked. You know I used to actually try to be a bit wittier than that, but what's the point? It's awful.
Regal: I thought I was quite good on RAW.
Jazzmaster: I didn't even bother watching anything you did. Okay, now it's time for our first guest today, here he is Mr Eric Bischoff!
Eric walks over to the chair left out for him to a chorus of boos. Three Minute Warning stand behind him.
Jazzmaster: It was only supposed to be Eric I was interviewing.
TMW: We got three minutes and we're out of here.
Jazzmaster: Uh okay... so Eric, Vince has given you thirty days to turn RAW around, of course it's a bit less than that now. What exactly are you going to do?
Eric: I'm going to push Three Minute Warning, and of course use HHH more than ever.
Jazzmaster: Er... don't you think that's a bit of a mistake?
Eric: That's a great plan! I have a knack for making things better. It says so in my entrance music, so it must be true!
Jazzmaster: Okay then. So what exactly went wrong with WCW then?
Eric: We didn't have HHH or Three Minute Warning.
Jazzmaster: What about the decision to fire Steve Austin? Don't you think that was a crucial factor?
Eric: It seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean, I didn't think he'd amount to anything. He used to be The Warlord for goodness sake!
Jazzmaster: Steve Austin wasn't The Warlord.
Eric: Sure he was. Bald, beard, yup they're the same.
Jazzmaster: The Warlord is huge compared to Austin.
Eric: Yeah, but...
Jazzmaster: STEVE AUSTIN WASN'T THE WARLORD!!!
TMW: Our three minutes are up!
TMW walk off the stage.
Jazzmaster: Who do you think the best RAW diva is? I know Trish won Diva of the Decade award.
Eric: All of the divas are very attractive.
Jazzmaster: Well, yeah, Victoria is. Just don't look at her face, don't look at her face. Do you think Al Wilson will come back from the dead and win the Rumble for Smackdown?
Eric: What? No! Where are you getting these questions from?
Jazzmaster: How many beans make five?
Eric: That's it, I've had enough of this.
Jazzmaster: Give him a big hand ladies and gentleman, Eric Bischoff! Moving on now, it's time for my Smackdown thoughts, and I must say I was very moved by Al Wilson's wake. Today's show is dedicated to Al, he will be missed, and, wait just a minute, I'm being told we have a special news update, we're going over live...
ANN
Al: Hello, I'm Al Wilson and this is an important update. As you know, I died recently after uh, over-doing things a little. But with your help and support, I know I'll be back on my feet in no time. So please, send your e- mails to: getwellal@wwe.com. I know I'll be back in no time!
Jazzmaster: Okay, let's not forget Nathan Jones will be debuting soon. Some of my friends claimed to have seen him wrestling in WWA events, but they must have been lying because Nathan Jones has in fact been in jail for ten years. I'm looking forward to Jones coming in, because let's face it, anything is better than Rikishi vs Bill DeMott.
Regal: One of the buildings outside is on fire.
Jazzmaster: Please don't go off on irrelevant tangents William. On to our final guest on our show, he is The Game HHH!
HHH walks out with his World title around is waist.
Jazzmaster: Welcome to the show HHH.
HHH: I am the game!
Jazzmaster: Okay, sorry, welcome to the show, the game. You're just a few short hours away from a big title match with Scott Steiner, how do you feel about that?
HHH: Scott Steiner is nothing. I mean, you can name anyone in the business and I've beaten them all.
Jazzmaster: Goldberg?
HHH jumps out of his chair.
HHH: WHERE? WHERE?
Jazzmaster: Uh, no he's not actually here, I just meant you haven't beaten him.
HHH: Well, I could beat him, no problem.
Jazzmaster: Did you ever beat Repo Man?
HHH: What?
Jazzmaster: Well, I'm just saying, you haven't really beaten EVERYONE in the industry have you? By the way, why was Repo man in the bad gimmicks section of the RAW tenth anniversary show? He was great! And IRS? Classic! Earthquake was a huge name in the 80's/early 90's. And Salvatore Sincere? He was main event material, let's face it.
HHH: Can we get back to talking about me here?
Jazzmaster: Yeah, sorry. Come on though, you couldn't beat Salvatore.
HHH: YES I COULD! I AM THE GAME!
Jazzmaster: Fair enough, fair enough. Do you think you should have won RAW superstar of the decade?
HHH: Of course I should have. The show was a fix. I mean, what did Austin do?
Jazzmaster: Bring wrestling to a new level of popularity?
HHH: But I'm The Game! I screw Steph! That makes me the best.
Jazzmaster: Yes. Yes it does.
Suddenly Scott Steiner walks out onto the stage and flex's his arms. Two giant heads come out of them.
Steiner: Should I kick HHH's ass right now?
Head 1: No, kicking ass is wrong.
Head 2: Yes, kicking ass is right!
HHH: I am the g-
Steiner runs over and picks HHH up with one finger and begins spinning him round.
HHH: Help me someone!
Jazzmaster: Well, that's all we have time for today, thank you for watching the show and please tell us what you thought. Until next time, keep grappling!
HHH: I have sick!
HHH vomits as the show goes off the air.
Now we see Jazzmaster sitting behind a desk, William Regal sits at the side of the desk and we see a number of buildings outside the window behind them.
Jazzmaster: Hello ladies and gentleman, both in our audience and watching us at home, and welcome to the first ever edition of 'Fun and Grappling Frolics.' I'm our host for the show, my name is Jazzmaster, author of many humorous WWE fanfics and I once won a bronze Judo medal. I don't really have many other accomplishments to my name, but uh, moving on, this is my co-host William Regal.
Regal: Good evening James.
Jazzmaster: While I sit behind this desk my name is Jazzmaster.
Regal: It's a rather undignified thing for me to say.
Jazzmaster: Okay, that's my host William Regal, personally I was pushing for Molly Holly but this is who the WWE sent me. Coming up on today's show we got an interview with The Game himself HHH, Eric Bischoff will be here and also William regal will kiss my ass at some point.
Regal: No I bloody well will not.
Jazzmaster: First tonight though is my thoughts, yes I do actually have some, so let me tell you about RAW last week. It sucked. Let me tell you about the tenth anniversary show. It sucked. You know I used to actually try to be a bit wittier than that, but what's the point? It's awful.
Regal: I thought I was quite good on RAW.
Jazzmaster: I didn't even bother watching anything you did. Okay, now it's time for our first guest today, here he is Mr Eric Bischoff!
Eric walks over to the chair left out for him to a chorus of boos. Three Minute Warning stand behind him.
Jazzmaster: It was only supposed to be Eric I was interviewing.
TMW: We got three minutes and we're out of here.
Jazzmaster: Uh okay... so Eric, Vince has given you thirty days to turn RAW around, of course it's a bit less than that now. What exactly are you going to do?
Eric: I'm going to push Three Minute Warning, and of course use HHH more than ever.
Jazzmaster: Er... don't you think that's a bit of a mistake?
Eric: That's a great plan! I have a knack for making things better. It says so in my entrance music, so it must be true!
Jazzmaster: Okay then. So what exactly went wrong with WCW then?
Eric: We didn't have HHH or Three Minute Warning.
Jazzmaster: What about the decision to fire Steve Austin? Don't you think that was a crucial factor?
Eric: It seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean, I didn't think he'd amount to anything. He used to be The Warlord for goodness sake!
Jazzmaster: Steve Austin wasn't The Warlord.
Eric: Sure he was. Bald, beard, yup they're the same.
Jazzmaster: The Warlord is huge compared to Austin.
Eric: Yeah, but...
Jazzmaster: STEVE AUSTIN WASN'T THE WARLORD!!!
TMW: Our three minutes are up!
TMW walk off the stage.
Jazzmaster: Who do you think the best RAW diva is? I know Trish won Diva of the Decade award.
Eric: All of the divas are very attractive.
Jazzmaster: Well, yeah, Victoria is. Just don't look at her face, don't look at her face. Do you think Al Wilson will come back from the dead and win the Rumble for Smackdown?
Eric: What? No! Where are you getting these questions from?
Jazzmaster: How many beans make five?
Eric: That's it, I've had enough of this.
Jazzmaster: Give him a big hand ladies and gentleman, Eric Bischoff! Moving on now, it's time for my Smackdown thoughts, and I must say I was very moved by Al Wilson's wake. Today's show is dedicated to Al, he will be missed, and, wait just a minute, I'm being told we have a special news update, we're going over live...
ANN
Al: Hello, I'm Al Wilson and this is an important update. As you know, I died recently after uh, over-doing things a little. But with your help and support, I know I'll be back on my feet in no time. So please, send your e- mails to: getwellal@wwe.com. I know I'll be back in no time!
Jazzmaster: Okay, let's not forget Nathan Jones will be debuting soon. Some of my friends claimed to have seen him wrestling in WWA events, but they must have been lying because Nathan Jones has in fact been in jail for ten years. I'm looking forward to Jones coming in, because let's face it, anything is better than Rikishi vs Bill DeMott.
Regal: One of the buildings outside is on fire.
Jazzmaster: Please don't go off on irrelevant tangents William. On to our final guest on our show, he is The Game HHH!
HHH walks out with his World title around is waist.
Jazzmaster: Welcome to the show HHH.
HHH: I am the game!
Jazzmaster: Okay, sorry, welcome to the show, the game. You're just a few short hours away from a big title match with Scott Steiner, how do you feel about that?
HHH: Scott Steiner is nothing. I mean, you can name anyone in the business and I've beaten them all.
Jazzmaster: Goldberg?
HHH jumps out of his chair.
HHH: WHERE? WHERE?
Jazzmaster: Uh, no he's not actually here, I just meant you haven't beaten him.
HHH: Well, I could beat him, no problem.
Jazzmaster: Did you ever beat Repo Man?
HHH: What?
Jazzmaster: Well, I'm just saying, you haven't really beaten EVERYONE in the industry have you? By the way, why was Repo man in the bad gimmicks section of the RAW tenth anniversary show? He was great! And IRS? Classic! Earthquake was a huge name in the 80's/early 90's. And Salvatore Sincere? He was main event material, let's face it.
HHH: Can we get back to talking about me here?
Jazzmaster: Yeah, sorry. Come on though, you couldn't beat Salvatore.
HHH: YES I COULD! I AM THE GAME!
Jazzmaster: Fair enough, fair enough. Do you think you should have won RAW superstar of the decade?
HHH: Of course I should have. The show was a fix. I mean, what did Austin do?
Jazzmaster: Bring wrestling to a new level of popularity?
HHH: But I'm The Game! I screw Steph! That makes me the best.
Jazzmaster: Yes. Yes it does.
Suddenly Scott Steiner walks out onto the stage and flex's his arms. Two giant heads come out of them.
Steiner: Should I kick HHH's ass right now?
Head 1: No, kicking ass is wrong.
Head 2: Yes, kicking ass is right!
HHH: I am the g-
Steiner runs over and picks HHH up with one finger and begins spinning him round.
HHH: Help me someone!
Jazzmaster: Well, that's all we have time for today, thank you for watching the show and please tell us what you thought. Until next time, keep grappling!
HHH: I have sick!
HHH vomits as the show goes off the air.