Title: Cabin Fever
Author: PepperjackCandy
Rating: "Hard" PG-13, if there is such a thing
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Category: Romance/Humor
Spoilers for: Nothing.

Disclaimer: I own nothing Smallville-related, or related in any other way to Clark Kent, Superman or any of the various creations of the wonderful folks at DC Comics. Whenever, Wherever was written by Shakira, Gloria Estefan and Tim Mitchell.

Feedback: Always welcome, either by e-mail or using the review system at fanfiction.net.

Many thanks to Cat for the beta.

Lyrics in italics represent the background music.

========

It had been a long, difficult road, but they'd made it; Clark was finally out of high school. For his graduation present, and as a congratulations gift for his full scholarship to Kansas State, Lex took Clark away for a long weekend in an isolated cabin in the woods, far from any other human habitation.

The cabin was spacious, with a fully-appointed kitchen, stocked with enough precooked reheatable meals to last the pair the entire weekend. After finishing the first of these meals, a dinner of veal tenderloin, Lex knelt on the floor at Clark's side, pulling the younger man's head down to his for a kiss.

Not breaking the kiss, Clark slid off of the chair and onto the floor, pushing himself down onto Lex. Eventually, Clark lifted his head. "So," he kissed Lex once, lightly, "what do you say we move this into the bedroom?"

"Mmm." Lex responded. "I thought you'd never ask."

The two men stood and kissed again, then they continued, alternately walking and kissing, through the living area and into the bedroom.

As they crossed the threshold, Clark paused to press the play button on a CD player that sat atop the dresser. Lex looked at him curiously, but Clark only smirked in response.

Any conversation was prevented when the music started and Clark pulled Lex towards him, beginning to untuck Lex's shirt.

Lucky you were born that far away
So we could both make fun of distance


Clark kissed Lex's neck as he undid the buttons. As he dropped Lex's shirt onto the floor, the two men fell together onto the bed.

Baby I would climb the Andes solely
To count the freckles on your body


"Do you have any freckles on your body, Lex?" Clark asked teasingly, straddling his lover and, starting at his neck, nuzzling and licking his way down Lex's body.

Can't you see...I'm at your feet

"Doesn't look like you're at my . . . oh, God!"

Clark had moved down to Lex's chest and was paying detailed attention to Lex's right nipple.

We're meant to be together
I'll be there and you'll be near
And that's the deal my dear


Clark sat up to pull off his form-fitting t-shirt, and Lex feasted his eyes on his lover's chest as if it were the first time he'd ever seen it.

"Clark," he whispered, "I feel . . ."

Clark was about to respond, "so do I," but was derailed by the ending of Lex's thought.

" . . . something digging into my back."

Concerned, Clark helped Lex into a sitting position. "Are you all right?"

Shakira kept singing.

"Yeah. Fine. I'm just wondering . . ." Lex turned around and began running his hand over the surface of the mattress. "Crap! How long has it been since they replaced this mattress and box spring?"

"What?"

"Do this."

Clark ran his hand over the mattress. "Good God, Lex. I can feel every one of the springs in this thing."

"Well, so much for romance." Lex pouted.

Clark stood and walked over to stop the CD player. "How about if I'm on the bottom? I'm invulnerable; it shouldn't bother me."

Lex nodded. "Sounds good."

Clark started the CD again and walked back to Lex's side.

Lucky you were born that far away
So we could both make fun of distance


Lex took Clark in his arms, kissing him passionately.

Lucky that I love a foreign land for
The lucky fact of your existence


"I do, you know." Lex said sincerely.

"You 'do', what?"

"Love your home planet, wherever it is, or was, because it gave you to me."

Clark was torn between laughing for joy or bursting into tears. Instead, he kissed Lex, long and hard as Lex lowered him back to the bed.

Whenever, wherever
We're meant to be together


This time, Lex straddled Clark, running his fingers through Clark's silky hair as he explored his mouth enthusiastically.

Thereover, hereunder,
You'll never have to wonder


Lex kissed each of Clark's eyes gently once, then moved to his jaw, just below his right ear.

We can always play by ear
and that's the deal my dear


"Ear, I get it." Clark mumbled as Lex grinned against his neck.

"Shhh."

Lucky that my lips not only mumble
They spill kisses like a fountain


Lex paid attention to Clark's clavicles.

Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don't confuse them with mountains


Then moved down to his chest. "I guess you could say that these are small and humble, but I like them just fine." He bit Clark's nipple.

Clark arched up off the bed. "LEX!"

Lucky I have strong legs like my mother
To run for cover when I need it


Lex moved to the other nipple, but before he could touch it, Clark pushed him away gently and sat up.

"What? Is something wrong?"

Clark rotated his shoulders. "You're right. This mattress isn't comfortable."

"But I thought . . ."

"Well, it doesn't hurt, no. But nothing says I can't feel discomfort. I'm not made of stone."

Lex leered, "You most certainly are not. I can attest to the fact that you're flesh and blood all the way through. Though . . ." Lex grabbed for Clark's crotch.

Clark put a hand on Lex's chest. "Lex. What are we going to do?"

"Move the proceedings to the bathtub?"

Clark closed his eyes at images of them together in the large, whirlpool tub in the bathroom. "But where will we sleep? We can't sleep on this thing." Clark bounced on the bed, which creaked alarmingly.

Lex stood and turned off the CD player. Clark stood, as well, and like a special effect from a sitcom, the bed frame hit the floor with a thud, the headboard and footboard tilting inwards to form an odd, wooden tent over the mattress.

Clark turned astonished blue eyes to Lex, who sighed heavily, saying, "There's only one thing to do now."

"What?" Clark wondered if Lex was going to suggest going back to the kitchen floor.

Silently, Lex opened his suitcase and reached inside. He opened a hidden pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

"Lex! I thought we agreed. No cell phones. Is there a fax machine in there, too?"

"Of course not." He grinned wickedly. "You'll forgive me for this. In fact, you'll thank me for it in the morning."

~~~

Light streamed in the windows as Clark rolled over on the new mattress and kissed Lex in the center of his chest. He rested his head on Lex's chest while he waited for his lover to awaken.

"Good morning." Lex said when he saw Clark's blue eyes beaming up at him.

"Good morning." Clark grinned. "And thank you."

"See? I told you so." Lex yawned. "So, what do you say we grab some breakfast and then try out that tub?"