I never thought sex could be so guiltless and blissful and pure. I never thought I, Finnick Odair, would let myself do this, make love to someone. Love, that word doesn't even begin to explain what I feel for the woman that lies next to me right now trying to regain her composure, to control her breathing. Annie, my sweet and gorgeous treated Annie whose sweat covered body is placed next to mine, her dark curls sticking to her forehead, her eyes sparkling like the ocean under the moon light and her mouth curled up into that amazingly beautiful smile. She's perfect in every way, her silky skin and soft lips that only a minute ago were moving so passionately on mine. My heart beat finally begins to slow down and I let my mind wonder into the past…
A year, a year it took for me to let myself fall, to let myself tell her how I felt because I was so ashamed of myself for wanting to bring Annie into my anything but simple life, with Snow's clients wanting more and more every year I just couldn't. I tried to convince myself that I could go without her, tried to tell myself that it would just be better for me to forget her and let her fall in love with a man whose life was simpler, better and who could fully commit to her but I soon realized it was hopeless that I was a goner and nothing could make me forget her, every time I went to the capitol and I had to leave a party with a woman on my arm and fall into bed with her it made me sick, I would try to block everything out until it was over and with practice I finally could. I would just make my mind go blank until the client of the night was done with me but even blocking it out couldn't make me feel any less guilty in the morning. I would wake up and run to the bathroom to throw up as soon as memories from the past night came to me, I would spend an hour in the shower trying to wash the dirty feeling away, EVERY. DAMN. TIME. And when I came back to four after those trips, and saw Annie waiting in front of the train, the guilt would hit me like a full speed train, because she always stood there with the same love and happiness. She knew what I had done the past days but her joy in seeing me, in having me back was always there and it killed me inside to know that no matter how much I wanted it I could never be 100% Annie's because a piece of me would always belong to Snow and it scared me shitless what he could do to her if he ever thought she was getting in the way of my performance but snow was far away now and will hopefully be dead in the next month or so.
"Finnick" Annie's voice snaps me back to reality. She's now sitting up, the blanket barely covering her chest. Her cheeks flush a light pink color and she grips the sheets tighter when she notices my gaze, only Annie could be embarrassed of something like that when less than an hour ago it was my mouth that was softly caressing each one. I smile "Really Annie?" she rolls her eyes and lets it fall "better Finnick?" I feel the need for her growing again between my legs "much" I say before devouring her mouth with mine.