~*~*I'm leaving today.~*~*
I ran up the steps, just wanting to get away from everything and everyone. My mind was set and all I had to do now was pack. I had been trying to decide whether or not to leave the place I lived, the place that I had known home for 6 years, but now my mind was set. My mind knew that it was time to move on with my life and find something new.
~*~*Living it, leaving it to change.~*~*
New scenery was what I need to express who I was beneath a shell of white lies. All my friends but one knew the outer shell. Ice was the only one who truly knew the inside.
~*~*Slowly drifting into a peaceful breeze tongue tied, twisted are all my memories~*~*
Memories of us hanging out at Tibby's or Medda have filtered through my mind, twisting together like they were one giant collage. There was a sight of me, the quiet one of the group that everyone went to if they needed help with something or needed advice on boys, girls, headlines or homework.
~*~*Celebrating a fantasy come true packing all my bags finally on the move~*~*
Different celebrations had happened at those places. Ice's annual summer parties, the strike's anniversary parties were held at both spots and everyone's birthday parties. That is actually where I have just run from, my own birthday party. I'm 17 years old and ready to face the world. I grab a bag from under my bunk in the girl's room and start throwing what items of mine in it.
~*~*I'm leaving today.~*~*
As I throw the things inside, I try to decide where I'm going. Maybe I would go to California, maybe Oregon or heck, maybe even to good old Santa Fe to live with Jack. I would finally get to see my brother after 6 years since he and Sarah left.
~*~*I'm living it, leaving it to change.~*~*
The change of scenery and the change in faces would do me good. Ice is the only one that the change will not fade away. She's been through everything with me. Us beating the boys at card games, chasing off Morris and Oscar when they bugged Les Jacobs and she's also been with me when my sister died.
~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I just want to die Ice. It feels like a part of me is gone forever. Roots was my best friend, my teammate, my twin. Nothing is ever going to be the same without her."
I broke down into more tears as Ice tried to comfort me. Alison "Roots" Thomas, my twin sister had just been laid to rest in the ground and now we were back in the girl's room at the Lodging House packing up her things.
"I just can't do this Ice. I don't want to pack away the things that belonged to her. I don't want to feel like she is permanently gone."
"But she is gone Beaner. You've got to realize that."
"But why couldn't it have been me? If she hadn't pushed me out of that carriage, she'd still be here." Ice took me by my shoulders.
"Don't you ever talk like that Stephanie Thomas! If you were to have died instead of her, she'd be doing the same thing right now but she would be in even worse condition. You were more important to her than anything. You are important to all of us. You keep Kid Blink, Mush, Skittery and Specs in line, you help the younger ones with schooling. You were always good at that stuff."
"But Roots could have become a famous singer. She was always good at that."
"She was a good singer but you are the teacher of the group. Her voice would have eventually leave her while your knowledge would always stay with you. At least now, her voice will fill the heavens. We should have named her Angel instead of Roots." I looked at Ice's sky blue eyes and saw that she meant every word she said. Maybe she was right. Maybe Roots is in a better place now. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and we continued packing up Roots things. I kept her cap though and a picture of the Jack, Roots and I before he moved and a picture of the gang, Kid Blink, Specs, Mush, Roots, Ice and I.
~*~*~*~End of Flashback~*~*~*
~*~*Packing all my bags finally on the move.~*~*
I shook my head and continued to pack my clothes and personal things. The last things to go in the bag were the pictures. They were the most precious things to me and I didn't want them to break. I gazed at them before I closed the case. Why was I taking these pictures? They were not going to be of any use once I was gone.
"I don't want any reminders." I took the pictures out of the bag and threw them against the wall above Ice's bed. At least she would be the one to find them and not one of those idiotic, moronic dummies.
~*~*I'm leaving today I'm living it, leaving it to change.~*~*
I put my brother's cowboy hat on my head, sling the bag around my shoulder and look around the room. I knew that the memories of the girl's late night chats will always haunt my memories but that was all that would. The pranks done by the boys, the studying and the dreaming would all be forgotten in due time. I exited the door, took a final look and closed the door. No one would expect me to use the front door that was if they even knew I was gone.
I slowly walked down the stairs, feeling the wood grain of the banister beneath my fingers. As I came to the front desk, I saw that Kloppman was there, reading one of the newspapers. He knew I was leaving and he knew the reason why though I hadn't even told him. He had seen it coming over the past weeks. The stares, the whispers. All of that was to change though.
I gave Kloppman the last hug I would ever give him and started to leave.
"Beaner wait. I have something for you." He went around to the safe where he normally kept any notes from long lost parents to the Newsies or special things that Newsies had wanted kept safe. Kloppman spun the dial and then opened it. I didn't see what he had pulled out but soon saw that it was a pouch.
"Roots gave this to me right before she died. She said she wanted you to have it when the time was right. There is also $10 from her savings over the year. She always saved a penny a day for you and your desires. Now is the best time to give it to you."
I took the pouch from Kloppman and took whatever it was out. The object that had called its home in the pouch for all those years was a single pendent in the shape of a teardrop. Turning it over, I saw that there were initials on it. "L.T." was inscribed and right then I knew that it was my mother's pendent. Both Roots and I had been given our mother's maiden name so that we wouldn't be connected to our father and what he had done.
"Thank you Kloppman. This means a lot to me." I began to put the pendent into its respective pouch but then decided against it. Instead, I placed it around my neck. I gave Kloppman a final wave and walked out the Lodging House doors for the last time.
~*~*As I'm driving I'm captured by the view of so much beauty~*~*
I walked down to the train station, bought my ticket and got onto the train. Soon after, the engine's starting noise occupied my thoughts as to proving that I was actually on my way away from my once know life. The train starts chugging along and I feel the steady rhythm beneath me. I gaze out of the window and see the setting sun illuminate the tall structures. The rhythm of the steam engine chugs so smoothly that my thoughts drift to why I was leaving, why I was joining the outside world away from New York State.
~*~*Earlier that evening~*~*
"Happy birthday dear Beaner, Happy birthday to you." Voices filled the air of Medda's, cheering as loud as they could as if trying to make all of Manhattan know that today was my birthday. I push back my strands of hair that had fallen from the barrette and blow out the candles. Cheering once again filled the air. Tonight was going to be one night that the whispers of others would not bother me.
For a few months now, rumors have been going around about me; saying that I work for the mob or am a prostitute in my spare time. Most don't know where these had originated from, but I do: Mr. Spot Conlon. Just because I turned him down means that I have to be treated like scum. He was supposed to be my best friend's boyfriend but did that stop him from making moves on me? NO.
Some would have thought that Ice would have believed the rumors but she didn't. I talked to her and when we finished she went over to see Spot and beat him so badly, he couldn't walk. Neither of them admitted to as why the infamous Spot Conlon was beaten up. They just let people say things about him. Though with Spot beaten up, that still didn't stop the rumors. Guys that I thought were my best friends started to act either uneasy around me or thought that I was easy.
Presents both small and somewhat large were handed over to me. Boots and Snipeshooter gave me a sketching that they had found of the Statue of Liberty. (That had been my selling spot.) Les and David gave me a new set of writing books and pencils so that I could keep up with David in the studies that I missed while selling. Kid Blink, Mush and Specs had all given me a dollar towards anything I wanted.
I thanked them all and excused myself so I could go get a drink. I exited the room and went out to where the drinks were kept.
"Hmm." I turned around to see Kid Blink.
"Hey KB. Thanks for the dollar. I know exactly what I'll use it for, more fabric for that shirt of yours." We both laughed knowing full well that I would probably end up using it for fabric for his shirt. He was always tearing it one way or another.
"Um. Stephanie, I have one more present for you." I looked at him with a bit of confusion when all of a sudden he lunges at me.
"What are you doing?" Kid Blink pins me against the wall and moves us even farther into the darkness of the room.
"I'm giving you something I'm sure you've wanted for a long time now: me." What is he talking about?
"Kid Blink, get off of me."
"It's what you do isn't it? Give your body for spare money? That's how you have all that spare money. Now I'll give you money don't worry. I've been saving up for awhile. Mush is going to come in after and give you the rest of the present as well." This was too much. I thought he was my friend but I guess I thought wrong. His left hand was unbuttoning my shirt and his right was holding me against the wall.
'Enough is enough.' I think to myself. I put all my anger, fear and determines into all the power I could muster and lashed out with my knee. He went down like a rock.
"Stay away from me August. I mean it. I thought you were my friend and wouldn't believe what Spot had spread about me. I guess I was wrong." I do up my shirt that he had gotten to the 4th button and stepped over him and ran back to the Lodging House.
~*~*~*End of Flashback~*~*~*
I wake up from my draining nightmare and gaze out into the night. The train was now passing through wide-open spaces and the moonbeams were hitting everything just right.
~*~*Of so much beauty, the road becomes my muse the heat is rising and my head soars through the wind~*~*
I pull out my writing book that I brought everywhere and just started writing. Words poured out of my pencil as if the gods possessed it. All my emotions spewed onto the page and the heat of my anger rose to my forehead and cheeks. ~*~*Cool calm collected is a child that lost a thing~*~* were the final words I put down before resting my hand. It was true though; I've been cool calm and collective my entire life and have lost almost everything that is dear to me.
~*~*I'm leaving today I'm living it, I'm leaving it to change I'm leaving today I'm living it, I'm leaving it to change~*~*
Leaving my life behind and starting anew was what I needed. Ice was the only thing that kept me there but it wasn't enough. I needed more than that. I need the guys as well. They've been with me always. I won't miss them though. They were backstabbers.
~*~*But somehow I'm missing I think I really miss it.~*~*
But backstabbers are still friends and I am going to miss them even if I don't want to.
~*~*Don't walk away and I'm feeling like I've never felt before turn down the memories of yesteryears and broken dreams I'm free, finally free
Slowly drifting into a peaceful breeze
I'm leaving today I'm living it, leaving it to change
See I'm leaving today I'm living it, I'm leaving it to change
I'm leaving today (I'm leaving it to change) Living it, I'm leaving it to change
Living it, leaving it Said I'm living it, leaving it
Living it, leaving it to change (I'm leaving it to change)~*~*
The train starts to slow down and I realize that it's time to cross over to my next train. I grab my bag and get off the train. I look back at where I had just come from.
"No point in looking back miss, sometimes you can't fix what has happened." Those words from Kloppman stuck out in my mind and I knew that they were right. Fixing what had happened would never be able to happen. They had hurt me too much. I walk over to the bench and wait for the next train to come to take me away.
~*~*But somehow I miss it I think I really miss it.~*~*
Tears started to leak from my eyes and I put my hands to my face, just letting them come. Knowing full well that I will, do miss them..
~*~*One day.~*~*
A/N: This is my first time writing a song fic. I hope you guys liked it and tell me if I should write some others. I do not own the Newsies for they belong to Disney. I do own Beaner, Roots for they are mine. Ice belongs to none other than Ice. The song is "Cruz" by Christina Aguilera. I want to thank Ice for introducing me to that song. Thanks ICE! For those who read my other stories, I will try to update soon, don't worry.
I ran up the steps, just wanting to get away from everything and everyone. My mind was set and all I had to do now was pack. I had been trying to decide whether or not to leave the place I lived, the place that I had known home for 6 years, but now my mind was set. My mind knew that it was time to move on with my life and find something new.
~*~*Living it, leaving it to change.~*~*
New scenery was what I need to express who I was beneath a shell of white lies. All my friends but one knew the outer shell. Ice was the only one who truly knew the inside.
~*~*Slowly drifting into a peaceful breeze tongue tied, twisted are all my memories~*~*
Memories of us hanging out at Tibby's or Medda have filtered through my mind, twisting together like they were one giant collage. There was a sight of me, the quiet one of the group that everyone went to if they needed help with something or needed advice on boys, girls, headlines or homework.
~*~*Celebrating a fantasy come true packing all my bags finally on the move~*~*
Different celebrations had happened at those places. Ice's annual summer parties, the strike's anniversary parties were held at both spots and everyone's birthday parties. That is actually where I have just run from, my own birthday party. I'm 17 years old and ready to face the world. I grab a bag from under my bunk in the girl's room and start throwing what items of mine in it.
~*~*I'm leaving today.~*~*
As I throw the things inside, I try to decide where I'm going. Maybe I would go to California, maybe Oregon or heck, maybe even to good old Santa Fe to live with Jack. I would finally get to see my brother after 6 years since he and Sarah left.
~*~*I'm living it, leaving it to change.~*~*
The change of scenery and the change in faces would do me good. Ice is the only one that the change will not fade away. She's been through everything with me. Us beating the boys at card games, chasing off Morris and Oscar when they bugged Les Jacobs and she's also been with me when my sister died.
~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I just want to die Ice. It feels like a part of me is gone forever. Roots was my best friend, my teammate, my twin. Nothing is ever going to be the same without her."
I broke down into more tears as Ice tried to comfort me. Alison "Roots" Thomas, my twin sister had just been laid to rest in the ground and now we were back in the girl's room at the Lodging House packing up her things.
"I just can't do this Ice. I don't want to pack away the things that belonged to her. I don't want to feel like she is permanently gone."
"But she is gone Beaner. You've got to realize that."
"But why couldn't it have been me? If she hadn't pushed me out of that carriage, she'd still be here." Ice took me by my shoulders.
"Don't you ever talk like that Stephanie Thomas! If you were to have died instead of her, she'd be doing the same thing right now but she would be in even worse condition. You were more important to her than anything. You are important to all of us. You keep Kid Blink, Mush, Skittery and Specs in line, you help the younger ones with schooling. You were always good at that stuff."
"But Roots could have become a famous singer. She was always good at that."
"She was a good singer but you are the teacher of the group. Her voice would have eventually leave her while your knowledge would always stay with you. At least now, her voice will fill the heavens. We should have named her Angel instead of Roots." I looked at Ice's sky blue eyes and saw that she meant every word she said. Maybe she was right. Maybe Roots is in a better place now. I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and we continued packing up Roots things. I kept her cap though and a picture of the Jack, Roots and I before he moved and a picture of the gang, Kid Blink, Specs, Mush, Roots, Ice and I.
~*~*~*~End of Flashback~*~*~*
~*~*Packing all my bags finally on the move.~*~*
I shook my head and continued to pack my clothes and personal things. The last things to go in the bag were the pictures. They were the most precious things to me and I didn't want them to break. I gazed at them before I closed the case. Why was I taking these pictures? They were not going to be of any use once I was gone.
"I don't want any reminders." I took the pictures out of the bag and threw them against the wall above Ice's bed. At least she would be the one to find them and not one of those idiotic, moronic dummies.
~*~*I'm leaving today I'm living it, leaving it to change.~*~*
I put my brother's cowboy hat on my head, sling the bag around my shoulder and look around the room. I knew that the memories of the girl's late night chats will always haunt my memories but that was all that would. The pranks done by the boys, the studying and the dreaming would all be forgotten in due time. I exited the door, took a final look and closed the door. No one would expect me to use the front door that was if they even knew I was gone.
I slowly walked down the stairs, feeling the wood grain of the banister beneath my fingers. As I came to the front desk, I saw that Kloppman was there, reading one of the newspapers. He knew I was leaving and he knew the reason why though I hadn't even told him. He had seen it coming over the past weeks. The stares, the whispers. All of that was to change though.
I gave Kloppman the last hug I would ever give him and started to leave.
"Beaner wait. I have something for you." He went around to the safe where he normally kept any notes from long lost parents to the Newsies or special things that Newsies had wanted kept safe. Kloppman spun the dial and then opened it. I didn't see what he had pulled out but soon saw that it was a pouch.
"Roots gave this to me right before she died. She said she wanted you to have it when the time was right. There is also $10 from her savings over the year. She always saved a penny a day for you and your desires. Now is the best time to give it to you."
I took the pouch from Kloppman and took whatever it was out. The object that had called its home in the pouch for all those years was a single pendent in the shape of a teardrop. Turning it over, I saw that there were initials on it. "L.T." was inscribed and right then I knew that it was my mother's pendent. Both Roots and I had been given our mother's maiden name so that we wouldn't be connected to our father and what he had done.
"Thank you Kloppman. This means a lot to me." I began to put the pendent into its respective pouch but then decided against it. Instead, I placed it around my neck. I gave Kloppman a final wave and walked out the Lodging House doors for the last time.
~*~*As I'm driving I'm captured by the view of so much beauty~*~*
I walked down to the train station, bought my ticket and got onto the train. Soon after, the engine's starting noise occupied my thoughts as to proving that I was actually on my way away from my once know life. The train starts chugging along and I feel the steady rhythm beneath me. I gaze out of the window and see the setting sun illuminate the tall structures. The rhythm of the steam engine chugs so smoothly that my thoughts drift to why I was leaving, why I was joining the outside world away from New York State.
~*~*Earlier that evening~*~*
"Happy birthday dear Beaner, Happy birthday to you." Voices filled the air of Medda's, cheering as loud as they could as if trying to make all of Manhattan know that today was my birthday. I push back my strands of hair that had fallen from the barrette and blow out the candles. Cheering once again filled the air. Tonight was going to be one night that the whispers of others would not bother me.
For a few months now, rumors have been going around about me; saying that I work for the mob or am a prostitute in my spare time. Most don't know where these had originated from, but I do: Mr. Spot Conlon. Just because I turned him down means that I have to be treated like scum. He was supposed to be my best friend's boyfriend but did that stop him from making moves on me? NO.
Some would have thought that Ice would have believed the rumors but she didn't. I talked to her and when we finished she went over to see Spot and beat him so badly, he couldn't walk. Neither of them admitted to as why the infamous Spot Conlon was beaten up. They just let people say things about him. Though with Spot beaten up, that still didn't stop the rumors. Guys that I thought were my best friends started to act either uneasy around me or thought that I was easy.
Presents both small and somewhat large were handed over to me. Boots and Snipeshooter gave me a sketching that they had found of the Statue of Liberty. (That had been my selling spot.) Les and David gave me a new set of writing books and pencils so that I could keep up with David in the studies that I missed while selling. Kid Blink, Mush and Specs had all given me a dollar towards anything I wanted.
I thanked them all and excused myself so I could go get a drink. I exited the room and went out to where the drinks were kept.
"Hmm." I turned around to see Kid Blink.
"Hey KB. Thanks for the dollar. I know exactly what I'll use it for, more fabric for that shirt of yours." We both laughed knowing full well that I would probably end up using it for fabric for his shirt. He was always tearing it one way or another.
"Um. Stephanie, I have one more present for you." I looked at him with a bit of confusion when all of a sudden he lunges at me.
"What are you doing?" Kid Blink pins me against the wall and moves us even farther into the darkness of the room.
"I'm giving you something I'm sure you've wanted for a long time now: me." What is he talking about?
"Kid Blink, get off of me."
"It's what you do isn't it? Give your body for spare money? That's how you have all that spare money. Now I'll give you money don't worry. I've been saving up for awhile. Mush is going to come in after and give you the rest of the present as well." This was too much. I thought he was my friend but I guess I thought wrong. His left hand was unbuttoning my shirt and his right was holding me against the wall.
'Enough is enough.' I think to myself. I put all my anger, fear and determines into all the power I could muster and lashed out with my knee. He went down like a rock.
"Stay away from me August. I mean it. I thought you were my friend and wouldn't believe what Spot had spread about me. I guess I was wrong." I do up my shirt that he had gotten to the 4th button and stepped over him and ran back to the Lodging House.
~*~*~*End of Flashback~*~*~*
I wake up from my draining nightmare and gaze out into the night. The train was now passing through wide-open spaces and the moonbeams were hitting everything just right.
~*~*Of so much beauty, the road becomes my muse the heat is rising and my head soars through the wind~*~*
I pull out my writing book that I brought everywhere and just started writing. Words poured out of my pencil as if the gods possessed it. All my emotions spewed onto the page and the heat of my anger rose to my forehead and cheeks. ~*~*Cool calm collected is a child that lost a thing~*~* were the final words I put down before resting my hand. It was true though; I've been cool calm and collective my entire life and have lost almost everything that is dear to me.
~*~*I'm leaving today I'm living it, I'm leaving it to change I'm leaving today I'm living it, I'm leaving it to change~*~*
Leaving my life behind and starting anew was what I needed. Ice was the only thing that kept me there but it wasn't enough. I needed more than that. I need the guys as well. They've been with me always. I won't miss them though. They were backstabbers.
~*~*But somehow I'm missing I think I really miss it.~*~*
But backstabbers are still friends and I am going to miss them even if I don't want to.
~*~*Don't walk away and I'm feeling like I've never felt before turn down the memories of yesteryears and broken dreams I'm free, finally free
Slowly drifting into a peaceful breeze
I'm leaving today I'm living it, leaving it to change
See I'm leaving today I'm living it, I'm leaving it to change
I'm leaving today (I'm leaving it to change) Living it, I'm leaving it to change
Living it, leaving it Said I'm living it, leaving it
Living it, leaving it to change (I'm leaving it to change)~*~*
The train starts to slow down and I realize that it's time to cross over to my next train. I grab my bag and get off the train. I look back at where I had just come from.
"No point in looking back miss, sometimes you can't fix what has happened." Those words from Kloppman stuck out in my mind and I knew that they were right. Fixing what had happened would never be able to happen. They had hurt me too much. I walk over to the bench and wait for the next train to come to take me away.
~*~*But somehow I miss it I think I really miss it.~*~*
Tears started to leak from my eyes and I put my hands to my face, just letting them come. Knowing full well that I will, do miss them..
~*~*One day.~*~*
A/N: This is my first time writing a song fic. I hope you guys liked it and tell me if I should write some others. I do not own the Newsies for they belong to Disney. I do own Beaner, Roots for they are mine. Ice belongs to none other than Ice. The song is "Cruz" by Christina Aguilera. I want to thank Ice for introducing me to that song. Thanks ICE! For those who read my other stories, I will try to update soon, don't worry.