Lord of the. Opps
Rating pg-13: why I don't know, for fun
Disclaimer: I don't own the Lord of the Rings or its characters, I don't own Canada, I don't own Goldilocks I don't own my brothers disc man, Oh wait a second (runs in to brothers room and grabs the disc-man) now I do, I do own my own poor and lacking sense of humor, which only works when I'm high on Caffeine (but my parents won't let my drink 8 Pepsi so just bare with me). I also own my bad spelling.
About me: I've never written humor, this might be bad, this might be good. Read review and I'll decide if I should keep going.
1. The Big Switch
The Fellowship is making their way up Caradras.
"Wonderful idea, Gandalf, lets freeze, why don't you just tell us your afraid of the dark and we can get on with it," Gimli grumbled. As he began to slide down the slope he grabs desperately to Legolas.
'GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY HAIR!!!" the elf screamed in rage prying the dwarf lose and throwing him down the path in to the hobbits.
"Ahh" they cried out in unison as the fat dwarf rolled onto them, all recovering, but Frodo who rolled down the slope into Strider who was busy dreaming of Arwen.
"Oh, hello," the ranger said with a dreamy look on his face as he helped the hobbit up, paranoid Frodo clutched at his chest searching for the ring.
"My precious, I mean the ring, it's gone!" he wept. The Fellowship begins to franticly search through the snow.
"Boromir finds the trinket and picks it up, "It's a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing, such a little thing." His eyes grow hypnotic as he stared intently at the ring.
"Give the ring to Frodo," a dazed Aragorn commanded.
"As you wish, I don't care," Boromir huffed handing the ring to the hbbit before ruffling his hair.
"Hey, don't do that, I'm older then you!" the hobbit yelled punching the man in the stomach. Boromir keeled over and wheezed, the fellowship then continued on.
"Sam, you need to lossen up on the shortcakes, my back is beginning to go out," Aragorn grumbled as he wadded through the deep snow, on a small path, on the edge of a cliff carrying Frodo and Sam.
"Hahaha suckers," Legolas laughed as he burst passed the others over top of the snow and continued to the front.
Gimli reached up and grabbed the elf pulling him into the small path that Gandalf was making for them, "Stupid show off," he muttered.
"How many times must I tell you, DO NOT TOUCH MY HAIR!" Legolas yelled into the dwarf's face before shoving him head long into a snow drift and taking his place at the front. "There is a fell voice in the air," he informed the others regaining his dignity.
"Crap, it's Saruman," Gandalf yelled. This information throws the fellowship into a panick. Aragorn dropped Frodo, who was immediately set upon by Boromir who dropped Merry and Pippin. Pippin was grabbed by Gandalf who put a hand over the hobbit's mouth to keep him from saying something stupid. Aragorn regained his hold of Sam as Gimli set to shoving snow down Legolas's back. Merry stood in a state of shock, grabbing on to the nearest object, Bill the pony. "He's setting a spell upon us!" the wizard continued.
As if on cue a sudden wind picked up, and there was a bright flash of light. When the wind stopped and the light was gone the Fellowship found them selves at the bottom of the mountain.
"What the, hey I thought I was shoving snow down youre back?" Legolas asked Gimli as he shook his shirt out.
"You where, but what, What the!!?" Gimli cried out in shock and surprise as he stared at the elf, "Gimli, you've grown more handsome, in fact I could swear you look just like me."
Pippin suddenly spoke up saying the most unexpected thing, "It would appear that Saruman the white has used a switching spell on us, I'm afraid I have no counter spells, you two are just going to have to live with the change," there was a hint of amusement in his voice.
"Ha, Gandalf, haven't you noticed your two feet closer to the ground, we're all switched, now you're a hobbit, take that!" Legolas laughed from Gimli's body.
Merry let out a weak neigh and began to munch on Bill's pack. Bill responded with an odd snuff resembling a turtle sneezing and sounded like oh terrific.
Aragorn began to scan his arms and torso, "Hey, look at me, I like this! I can see my toes!!" he immediately set to pillaging the food supply. Sam looked over, and gasped, "No, no not that, don't do that, I worked hard to keep my body in shape, don't you ruin it Mr. crispy cream."
Aragorn looked up with his face covered in crumbs, "where's Frodo?"
"and Boromir?" Gandalf piped in as he began to throw his hate up into the air, catching it on his staff.
"Give me those!" Pippin yelled pouncing on Gandalf, "Oh no, they've switched," he gasped realizing his body's imposter's comment.
From farther down the mountain a voice cried out, "It's mine now, hahaha, I have it."
"Give it to me, they entrusted it to me, it's mine!" another voice cried out.
"Get them!" Sam yelled as he began to trot down the rest of the mountain after them, the rest followed.
After a merry little chase the Fellowship had managed to wrench the ring from Frodo (Now Boromir's) grasp and give it to Boromir (now Frodo) who put it back on his neck and sat down in a huff. They found a small cave and decided to camp for the night. Legolas set to yelling at Gimli who was neglecting to care for his hair, Gimli then yelled at Legolas who was refusing to polish his axe. Aragorn tried to light a fire, but found that his new bulk and large feet got in the way, under his instruction Sam light it instead. Pippin gave the staff and hat to Gandalf who was threatening to turn him into a lady if he didn't. Merry (In Bill's body) set to grazing while Bill (in Merry's body) was being taught to speak by a very bored, very well tied Boromir (In Frodo's body). Gandalf sat down and tried to recall every anti-switching spell he knew, with no success. The Fellowship spent a very long, very awkward night as the each tried to grasp the reality of what had happened.
"What will Arwen think?" Aragorn wept quietly staring at his old body, "That's half of what she fell in love with."
~What will Rosy think~ Sam thought to himself gleefully.
~Hehehehe now I'm tall and I'm the oldest~ Pippin gloated.
Gandalf thought of revenge: ~Stupid half-wit stealing my staff, I'll get him back, I'll zzzzzz~
~I'll show him not to abuse that hair, I'll scar up his axe real good, I'll shave off his beard~ Legolas growled to himself
~My axe my lovely axe, the fiend will pay for this, I'll die his hair, I'll grease up his hair I'll cut his hair. The hair must dye~ Gimli cackled evilly running his fingers through his new blond locks.
~They caught me, how could I let them catch me, I was so close to having it, why didn't I slip it on, I'm such an idiot.~ Boromir reminisced as he pointed out a sharp rock to Bill with his foot "Rock, Bill rock, pick up the rock Bill, cut the rope Bill, cut the dang rope." He pleaded.
~Too close to losing it precious, too close, we must not let him have it; no precious he's a theifses~. Frodo thought to himself shuddering at the thought of nearly losing the ring.
Merry lay down and began to wonder ~why, why did I grab onto Bill I should have grabbed Aragorn, then this would be a complete different story, but I just had to grab the pony, now I'm stuck eating hay the rest of my life. Do Women like horses?~
~Neigh, breehee, huff, rock~. Bill thought as he stumbled around on his two short legs ~rock.~
Rating pg-13: why I don't know, for fun
Disclaimer: I don't own the Lord of the Rings or its characters, I don't own Canada, I don't own Goldilocks I don't own my brothers disc man, Oh wait a second (runs in to brothers room and grabs the disc-man) now I do, I do own my own poor and lacking sense of humor, which only works when I'm high on Caffeine (but my parents won't let my drink 8 Pepsi so just bare with me). I also own my bad spelling.
About me: I've never written humor, this might be bad, this might be good. Read review and I'll decide if I should keep going.
1. The Big Switch
The Fellowship is making their way up Caradras.
"Wonderful idea, Gandalf, lets freeze, why don't you just tell us your afraid of the dark and we can get on with it," Gimli grumbled. As he began to slide down the slope he grabs desperately to Legolas.
'GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY HAIR!!!" the elf screamed in rage prying the dwarf lose and throwing him down the path in to the hobbits.
"Ahh" they cried out in unison as the fat dwarf rolled onto them, all recovering, but Frodo who rolled down the slope into Strider who was busy dreaming of Arwen.
"Oh, hello," the ranger said with a dreamy look on his face as he helped the hobbit up, paranoid Frodo clutched at his chest searching for the ring.
"My precious, I mean the ring, it's gone!" he wept. The Fellowship begins to franticly search through the snow.
"Boromir finds the trinket and picks it up, "It's a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing, such a little thing." His eyes grow hypnotic as he stared intently at the ring.
"Give the ring to Frodo," a dazed Aragorn commanded.
"As you wish, I don't care," Boromir huffed handing the ring to the hbbit before ruffling his hair.
"Hey, don't do that, I'm older then you!" the hobbit yelled punching the man in the stomach. Boromir keeled over and wheezed, the fellowship then continued on.
"Sam, you need to lossen up on the shortcakes, my back is beginning to go out," Aragorn grumbled as he wadded through the deep snow, on a small path, on the edge of a cliff carrying Frodo and Sam.
"Hahaha suckers," Legolas laughed as he burst passed the others over top of the snow and continued to the front.
Gimli reached up and grabbed the elf pulling him into the small path that Gandalf was making for them, "Stupid show off," he muttered.
"How many times must I tell you, DO NOT TOUCH MY HAIR!" Legolas yelled into the dwarf's face before shoving him head long into a snow drift and taking his place at the front. "There is a fell voice in the air," he informed the others regaining his dignity.
"Crap, it's Saruman," Gandalf yelled. This information throws the fellowship into a panick. Aragorn dropped Frodo, who was immediately set upon by Boromir who dropped Merry and Pippin. Pippin was grabbed by Gandalf who put a hand over the hobbit's mouth to keep him from saying something stupid. Aragorn regained his hold of Sam as Gimli set to shoving snow down Legolas's back. Merry stood in a state of shock, grabbing on to the nearest object, Bill the pony. "He's setting a spell upon us!" the wizard continued.
As if on cue a sudden wind picked up, and there was a bright flash of light. When the wind stopped and the light was gone the Fellowship found them selves at the bottom of the mountain.
"What the, hey I thought I was shoving snow down youre back?" Legolas asked Gimli as he shook his shirt out.
"You where, but what, What the!!?" Gimli cried out in shock and surprise as he stared at the elf, "Gimli, you've grown more handsome, in fact I could swear you look just like me."
Pippin suddenly spoke up saying the most unexpected thing, "It would appear that Saruman the white has used a switching spell on us, I'm afraid I have no counter spells, you two are just going to have to live with the change," there was a hint of amusement in his voice.
"Ha, Gandalf, haven't you noticed your two feet closer to the ground, we're all switched, now you're a hobbit, take that!" Legolas laughed from Gimli's body.
Merry let out a weak neigh and began to munch on Bill's pack. Bill responded with an odd snuff resembling a turtle sneezing and sounded like oh terrific.
Aragorn began to scan his arms and torso, "Hey, look at me, I like this! I can see my toes!!" he immediately set to pillaging the food supply. Sam looked over, and gasped, "No, no not that, don't do that, I worked hard to keep my body in shape, don't you ruin it Mr. crispy cream."
Aragorn looked up with his face covered in crumbs, "where's Frodo?"
"and Boromir?" Gandalf piped in as he began to throw his hate up into the air, catching it on his staff.
"Give me those!" Pippin yelled pouncing on Gandalf, "Oh no, they've switched," he gasped realizing his body's imposter's comment.
From farther down the mountain a voice cried out, "It's mine now, hahaha, I have it."
"Give it to me, they entrusted it to me, it's mine!" another voice cried out.
"Get them!" Sam yelled as he began to trot down the rest of the mountain after them, the rest followed.
After a merry little chase the Fellowship had managed to wrench the ring from Frodo (Now Boromir's) grasp and give it to Boromir (now Frodo) who put it back on his neck and sat down in a huff. They found a small cave and decided to camp for the night. Legolas set to yelling at Gimli who was neglecting to care for his hair, Gimli then yelled at Legolas who was refusing to polish his axe. Aragorn tried to light a fire, but found that his new bulk and large feet got in the way, under his instruction Sam light it instead. Pippin gave the staff and hat to Gandalf who was threatening to turn him into a lady if he didn't. Merry (In Bill's body) set to grazing while Bill (in Merry's body) was being taught to speak by a very bored, very well tied Boromir (In Frodo's body). Gandalf sat down and tried to recall every anti-switching spell he knew, with no success. The Fellowship spent a very long, very awkward night as the each tried to grasp the reality of what had happened.
"What will Arwen think?" Aragorn wept quietly staring at his old body, "That's half of what she fell in love with."
~What will Rosy think~ Sam thought to himself gleefully.
~Hehehehe now I'm tall and I'm the oldest~ Pippin gloated.
Gandalf thought of revenge: ~Stupid half-wit stealing my staff, I'll get him back, I'll zzzzzz~
~I'll show him not to abuse that hair, I'll scar up his axe real good, I'll shave off his beard~ Legolas growled to himself
~My axe my lovely axe, the fiend will pay for this, I'll die his hair, I'll grease up his hair I'll cut his hair. The hair must dye~ Gimli cackled evilly running his fingers through his new blond locks.
~They caught me, how could I let them catch me, I was so close to having it, why didn't I slip it on, I'm such an idiot.~ Boromir reminisced as he pointed out a sharp rock to Bill with his foot "Rock, Bill rock, pick up the rock Bill, cut the rope Bill, cut the dang rope." He pleaded.
~Too close to losing it precious, too close, we must not let him have it; no precious he's a theifses~. Frodo thought to himself shuddering at the thought of nearly losing the ring.
Merry lay down and began to wonder ~why, why did I grab onto Bill I should have grabbed Aragorn, then this would be a complete different story, but I just had to grab the pony, now I'm stuck eating hay the rest of my life. Do Women like horses?~
~Neigh, breehee, huff, rock~. Bill thought as he stumbled around on his two short legs ~rock.~