I began to walk through the halls of Degrassi. It is Monday, the first day of the week. As usual the all of the male eyes turn to me while a few people snicker and call me "slut" or "tramp" as I walk by. This has happened to me so much I've have gotten used to it.

I just sighed a little as I slowly sauntered over to my locker. It seems as it were only yesterday

Flashback

I was standing by my locker knowing I still have to tell Craig about the abortion. Craig is walking toward me with a smile on his face not knowing what I'm about to tell him.

"There she is!" Craig leans in to kiss me. I pull back.

"Don't...Craig." Craig then looked at me with concerned. He wasn't going to like what I was about to tell him. "What's the matter?" I hesitate for a moment but I finally answer.

"I cant...do this Craig. I thought I could, but having a baby now, it's just," Craig looked at me with more worry and confusion.

"You're not making any sense." Craig gulps knowing that something isn't right. I sigh as I begin to explain.

"Some day, you're going to be a great dad and some day, I hope I'll be a mom. But now," Craig begins to look so hurt. I hated it when he looked like that. I couldn't tell him, not now, but I had to! I had to get this over with. "Now isn't some day yet." This was the first time I had ever seen Craig upset. He looked as if he were about to break down and cry. His whole face was beat red and I could see his chest rising up and down.

"No." he says faintly. I began to walk away. His footsteps followed me in return. "No you're not, Manny stop!" I continue to walk. Maybe he'll go away. "No I won't let you!" I turned around with my eyes swelled up with tears. I couldn't handle all of this. He needed to understand! How was I going to have a baby now? I'm only fourteen.

"Please!" I screamed.

"Craig..." I turn to face Emma standing right beside him. Craig glances at Emma with anger in his eyes.

"No you butt out! What she's doing is wrong!" Craig breathes even harder.

"I agree with you ok?!" We both turn toward Emma with surprised looks on our faces.

"If she was just some stranger I would be furious with her but she's my friend, and it's her choice." Craig begins to sound as if he's about to break down and cry.

"It's my baby!"

"And Manny's body! What about her?" Craig looks from Emma to me with disbelief.

"I just, I just...I just can't," I exclaim once more. Tears form in my eyes. Craig's mouth drops. He stares at me for a moment not knowing what to say and begins to walk away. I watch as my very first love leaves me there standing with Emma. I slowly turn to Emma.

"Thank you." Emma then nods her head telling me you're welcome.

End Flashback

"Hey sweet thing, since Craig nailed you do you think I could get a piece of that?" I slammed my locker door shut trying to ignore the obscene comments and the laughter of the boy who had said it. I continue to walk to class when Ashley suddenly bumps into me knocking most of my books down. Great...just terrific! My books just got knocked down by the number one girl who hates my guts! We look at each other for a moment not saying anything. I knew Ashley was still mad at me for trying to steal Craig away from her while they were still dating. She was more furious at the fact that he had gotten me pregnant.

Ashley had then walked away without saying sorry or excuse me. I try to brush it off so I bent down to pick up my belongings

"Let me help you with that." My eyes go up to see Jimmy Brooks standing over me. He then bent down to help me with the books. "Thanks Jimmy." I smiled feeling relieved that at least someone cared about helping me that day.

"Wow a smile. I haven't seen you do that in a while." I soon realize that Jimmy is right, I hadn't really felt fine and dandy ever since I had the abortion. Actually, I've been feeling pretty shitty lately.

"Well it's just nice to know that someone noticed that I needed a little help." I added

"It's no problem. I know you've been having some tough times so I just decided to at least give you a helping hand." Jimmy and I smile at each other.

"Well thanks again."

"Sure thing, well I have to get to class so I'll see you later." Jimmy then to walked off to class. I watche him as he walks by.

"Okay, see ya."

Jimmy's POV

"Okay, class today we're just going to continue working on our websites," replied Mr. Simpson, teacher of grades 9-12 Media Immersion. I had just entered the class when Mr. Simpson had said that. I was only a few minutes late. Mr. Simpson then gave me a 'you know better look' as I sat down at his desk. I didn't really care, well I did care. I didn't want to be stuck in Saturday morning detention again.

I suddenly spot Hazel right across from me who gives me a bright wink. I awkwardly smile back at her. All of a sudden an e-mail message pops up on my computer. I continued to look at my computer with confusion wondering who it was from. I look at the subject that read "To my Honeybunny." I let out a great big sigh quickly figuring out who it was from.

Hazel usually bogged me down with thousands of little cutesy e-mail messages and cards. I slowly opened up the e-mail box finding hearts and smiling faces with a little poem written by Hazel. I caught her glancing at me and smiling. I faintly smiled back raising my eyebrows. Did she have to send me messages like this everyday?

It wasn't that I didn't like the messages she sent me, I just thought that it felt a tad bit suffocating. I almost felt as if she were trying to be like Paige with Spinner. I personally think Paige and Spinner are the funniest couple. They would even give each other nicknames. Spinner was basically sprung off of Paige. Everything Paige would say do, Spinner would always obey her as if he were a little kid.

Once in grade 10, I teased Spinner about how he had no backbone. He bent over backwards just to get Paige to have the locker she wanted. I had thought that the situation was hilarious. Sometimes Paige would basically run Spinner like she was his mother. They'd always tickle each other with there noses during passing time, which made me want to crack up. My idea of PDA was so much different from Spinner's.

Lately, I've been noticing Hazel trying to do the exact same things Paige was doing with her boyfriend. Hazel recently thought of a nickname to call me which was "Honeybunny." Ironically it was similar to the name "Honeybee," the same nickname Spinner and Paige call each other. Ever since I met Hazel, she seemed like she would always follow Paige in her footsteps. It was as if she couldn't think for herself.

Part of that was a turnoff to me, but after that day in detention I felt like we had a connection. Eventually we started to date each other. Once I even asked Hazel why she would always agree with everything Paige did. Big mistake! Never will I ask her that again. That question rapidly resulted into a big argument. Hazel had said that Paige was her best friend and blah blah. I really didn't remember anything else Hazel had to say, so I just let it go.

"Hey dude, are we still meeting up at the dot after school?" I quickly turned around to face Spinner who was standing right beside me. I nodded my head nonchalantly. I really didn't feel like going to the dot with them. The same thing would happen over and over again. Spinner and Paige would talk about cutesy things together while Hazel tried to do the exact same thing.

Hazel would then tell her story about the first time she and I met in detention and how wonderful it was. Spinner then nodded and went back to his seat. I made a quick glimpse up at the clock. There was still 30 min left of class. I wanted to get the hell out of there and go to Film class. I always found script writing interesting. Even though my friends had teased me about it, I continued to ignore them and do what I wanted to do.

Sometimes I wish that I could have a deep conversation with someone, and talk about things other than sports, or cars or any other things. Spinner was out of the question. All he would do is laugh about it. Craig was still in another world worrying about Ashley or Manny and what he had done last year. Deep down, I still had feelings for Ashley when she had gone out with Craig. Eventually I set my feelings aside and worried about other things.

Sometimes I feel like most of my friends don't really know the real me. Anybody would look at me and think of the words jock or popular. Nobody else would think of me other than that. Sometimes I even wonder if anyone will ever find out about the real me.