note i do not own star trek, the simpsons, star wars, bones, doctor who, or v for vendetta.

Sitting in his office, the newly appointed acting chancellor, Governor Bart Simpson was listening to another adviser telling him what to do. For three weeks, he had been hounded by the governors of the republic to take the post as he was the last person to be with the previous chancellor, Samuel Prestwick. As they spoke, the communications screen came from the ceiling. 'At last!' thought Bart, waiting for something to break this terrible ordeal. The advisors left, mumbling something that sounded like 'bucket' and 'hit'. On the screen was a familiar face. 'Admiral Janeway, to what do I owe this pleasure!' Admiral Katherine Janeway was the head of the naval and military force of the Federation, Starfleet, the remnants of the CIS, separatists and other groups. Previously captain of the U.S.S. Voyager, she had taken kindly to the position of admiral at the death of Admiral Dougherty at the hands of the So'na Admiral, Ru'afo.

'I'll be brief; a republic vessel entered the neutral zone about five hours ago. The Romulans say that it fired upon and stole a large Romulan Warbird and warped out of sight. Our long range scan shows us that the warp trail enters republic and federation space.' Admiral Janeway then told the chancellor the importance of retrieving the vessel undamaged. 'The Romulans are blaming the Federation for allowing the ship to enter the neutral zone, they are blaming the republic for committing the act and want vengeance. The transponder in the vessel shows us that it is currently heading towards earth at Warp 9. I am sending the majority of the fleet to intercept the Warbird and the Romulans are in a temporary alliance with us. I am sending the U.S.S. Enterprise to pick you up.' Admiral Janeway remained silent for several minutes as Bart spoke. 'Why am I now involved? This is a federation matter. I will send a small detachment to assist you but I will not board a federation vessel to oversee a matter that you cannot resolve yourselves. I do…..' Admiral Janeway spoke, a hint of anger in her voice. 'I am asking you because the people responsible are Flancrest Enterprises. If I am not mistaken, that is a republic company, is it not? Anyway, Captain Picard requests your presence anyway so don't snap at me! Janeway out.'

Several hours later, the U.S.S. Enterprise E arrived from the Betazed System. 'Commander Worf, hail Chancellor Simpson and prepare to transport him to the bridge.' Captain Jean-Luc Picard had met Bart Simpson once before. Three years earlier, the U.S.S. Enterprise D was destroyed on the planet Veridian III. A republic and Federation rescue team had intercepted the survivors in the dense grushfields that cover the planets surface. Now, he was preparing to fight a Romulan-Republic fleet of ships that the republic knows all too well. 'Captain, we are ready.' said Commander Worf. 'Right, energise.' As Captain Picard looked around, a familiar face greeted him. 'Welcome, Bart. Or should it be chancellor?' Bart looked angrily at Picard. 'How dare you send for me without full and prior warning! This is a federation matter, not a republic one. But, it is good to see you, Jean Luc…' Commander Data interrupted them. 'Captain, the Warbird has left warp speed about 750 yards away. I am setting a course to intercept.' Picard pressed a button on his viewscreen and spoke. 'This is Captain Picard of the Enterprise. The warbird has exited warp speed. Prepare your attack. Picard out. Mr Worf, prepare all weapons systems and phaser banks. Mr Data, red alert.'

The battle was intense. Several federation ships were infiltrated and used against other federation ships. The Romulans fired intense streams of photon torpedoes but none did any damage. Over the commscan, they could hear cries for help and assistance. '..severe damage sustained…warp core about to brea…, U.S.S. Lexington severely damaged…. Weapons empty… nearby ships please beam us ou…' the bridge of the enterprise was silent. Just then, the stolen warbird sailed in front of them and a stream of blue and white came from around it. 'Captain, the ship is creating a temporal wake which is pulling us and the warbird Valdore into it.' Data tried to correct the ships course and steer out of the wake but could not. They were shot out of the vortex like a bullet from a gun.

The Enterprise stopped. 'Where are we, Mr. Data? Or is that, when are we?' Captain Picard stood and looked out of the bridge window. 'We are at Stardate 24534.3, or the year 2020, May 3rd. recent events include the upcoming election…' Bart suddenly became alert. 'Election? GOT IT! She's trying to stop the election. Adam Sutler of the Norsefire party is elected to prime minister on the 5th. He kills the Queen and Britain becomes a republic. But, he takes Britain out of the Republic so it becomes independent. With that, Flancrest becomes less powerful; the sector becomes another neutral zone which allows the Romulans to take advantage.' As Bart spoke, the communications array bleeped. 'Captain, we are being hailed by the Valdore.' As the image resolved onscreen, a familiar face materialised. 'Captain Picard, we meet again. I am Commander Donatra of the Warbird Valdore. We wish to have permission to beam my bridge crew to the Enterprise.' Commander Worf sent a security team to transporter room three who escorted the commander to the bridge.

The stolen warbird sailed into earth's atmosphere. 'Where are we landing, my lord?' Lady Keto, Sarah Dimech, turned towards the Romulan navigator before her. 'Set course for London. The Flancrest headquarters on Edgware road. We will be safe there. As they entered cruising altitude, an army tank spotted a strange ship on his radar screen. The commander's orders are to scan ships and send the results to Torchwood. They sent message back, 'DESTROY' the tank fired, hitting the warbird in engineering. 'Warp core severely damaged. Hull breached decks 20 to 16, Transporters offline. We can only beam out the bridge crew.' The warbird banked and swayed over Hyde Park. As the bridge crew beamed out, the warbird struck the bottom of the serpentine lake and the warp core breached. All the Romulan crew was killed instantly.

Commander Donatra stood on the bridge of the Enterprise. 'We need to get that warbird back undamaged or this will give the praetor an excuse to attack. We can contact Romulus can't we?' Captain Picard gave a sympathetic look to the commander. 'We can contact this century's praetor but not yours. You are on your own now.' Bart looked over and had a thought. 'But, I do have this in my pocket. It can always help in a situation!' Bart was holding an Arton crystal and his sonic screwdriver. 'Right, I will need access to the communications array, hailing frequencies and engineering. Commander Data, Commander LaForge, with me.' Captain Picard took something from his pocket and placed it in Bart's hand. 'From last time, I had Admiral Nakamura make you a Starfleet Ensign. Therefore, you will need this.' Picard handed him a Starfleet Commbadge. 'Thank you, Jean Luc. Well, I should be getting on then. To Engineering.'

Lady Keto and her bridge crew were dematerialised in Knightsbridge underground station about five miles from the crash site. The Romulan navigator was dead, as he was the last to beam out and was hit by the warp plasma spewed from the warp core. 'Did we save the crystal, Blon Fel Fotch?' the slitheen looked at her and opened her hand. 'Excellent! Do you still have the stolen federation tricorder? Trace the signal from the Enterprise and the Valdore.' The team walked onto the waiting train and picked a destination.

The Arton communications system was running by 19:00 that evening. 'Praetor Spock, we have become caught in a temporal vortex and are now stranded in the year 2020. No doubt, the warbird has been destroyed or crashed by now. We will conduct a sensor scan and report back to you with the results. Donatra out' as they were speaking, Dr Crusher and her intern, Stephanie Darrall came onto the bridge. 'My medical sensor sweep shows 168 critical life signs in the city of London, all Romulan. I suggest that we send an away team to the coordinates to investigate.' Captain Picard though, and then he spoke. 'Right, Mr Worf, Mr Data, Geordi, Will, Deanna, Beverly, Stephanie and Bart, you are with me. Mr Jones, you have the bridge. Computer, early 21st century clothing please.' They entered the Turbolift and entered transporter room three. 'Mr McRimmon, energise.' They disappeared to the planets surface.

Back in 2007, forensic anthropologist Temperance Brennan received a communication inside Bart Simpson's TARDIS. 'Temperance? I'm trapped in the year 2020. Press the red button and release the handbrake to enter the date, time and destination. The Enterprise will do the rest. See you soon.' The image disappeared as temperance tried to figure the situation out.

The away team arrived in Hyde Park. 'Life signs faint, about seven miles ahead. Stephanie, prepare the immuniser. A strong dose of morphine with clovaratol and sleeping substitute.' Data returned from his scan. 'Sensors show strong strains of warp plasma coating the surrounding trees and chlorophyll rich plants. It is a Romulan strain of plasma, M216, mixed in the Romulan shipyards. The tricorder has located the warbird. It is separated into 4.5 million separate pieces on the floor of the serpentine lake, about 34 metres ahead to the west.' As Data spoke, Beverly's medical scanner stopped bleeping. '167 Romulans are dead. This is bad.' Commander Riker tapped his commbadge. 'Riker to Enterprise, away team is ready to beam up.'

Temperance started up the TARDIS. 'Ok Bart, I'm coming.' Sitting on the other side of the TARDIS, Agent Seely Booth tried to make sense of the situation. 'ok, bones what is this thing? A TARBLIS, TARBIS, TARDIS? And it travels in time and space? You have been working too hard.' The TARDIS spun and shook as they materialised through the years. They suddenly stopped and a familiar image came onscreen. 'Earth! Not our earth though but still, Earth!' temperance heard a 'gravel voice' as she called it over the tannoy 'TARDIS, we are prepared to beam your craft aboard' the TARDIS disappeared and landed on the bridge of the Enterprise.

The TARDIS doors opened to an argument between Commander Riker, Commander Donatra and General Karor. 'The warbird was destroyed before we got to it. We cannot anticipate the actions of the primitives on the planet! If you cannot accept that, then I shall surrender the valdore to the enterprise.' The general suddenly snapped at Riker. 'And you, federation scum! The Romulan senate will vote in our way to invade the federation and steal a Starfleet vessel and destroy it! The praetor will not be happy.' Riker blew a gasket. Turning to the general, he spoke with venom in his voice. 'Listen to me, Romulan! We did not know that the warbird was destroyed, so it is not our fault. As for the praetor, would a former Starfleet officer actually give a Romulan like you the authority to invade the federation he once served? I think not. Riker out.'

Temperance and Booth stepped out of the TARDIS and Stephanie ran to booth 'Seeley! Oh god, it's good to see you!' Seeley stood, trying to think of a name 'hello, sal.. sar.. STEPHANIE! It's been years sine we last met!' data interrupted, annoyed faces meeting him 'Exactly 13 years, 5 months and three days, 2 hours, 16 minutes, 37…..' Booth looked at Data, about to say something but held it in. 'Seeley, this is Lieutenant Commander Data, an android. He is part of Captain Picard's command crew. Seeley cracked a smile. 'Captain Picard? What is this, Star Trek?' as they spoke, Commander Catherine Neal stepped onto the bridge. 'Captain, we have a priority signal from Starfleet command.' Picard sat down in his seat. 'Onscreen.'

Admiral Janeway looked as if she had not slept in three days. 'Captain Picard, the situation has escalated. General Karor has sent seventeen Romulan scouts into federation space and are looking for unarmed Federation and Starfleet vessels. Thats not the best part, the praetor is actually allowing us to destroy the Romulan ships! Good old Spock! Never doubted him! Your orders are to intercept any romulan craft that are capable of time travel. Janeway out.' Picard looked at his crew. 'Well, Mr Worf, hail the Valdore. Inform them that the praetor has given the order to attack any unauthorised Romulan craft. No 1, prepare an away team. We are going to find the warbird's arton crystal.'

The Enterprise was on red alert. On the bridge, Captain Picard was speaking to the away team. 'If we destroy the crystal, we could destroy the temporal wake and shoot us back to our own time. It is risky, as it could also create a black hole that could suck the entire quadrant whole! But that's the worst case scenario.'

Booth was pacing the bridge when he spoke. 'Great, thats comforting. So there a chance we can return to our own time and there a chance we can be sucked into a black hole for all eternity. Bones, where did you find him?' Beverly and Stephanie came onto the bridge as Booth was speaking. 'Why do you call Dr Brennan Bones? Isn't it a bit rude, my shnuckums!' Stephanie said, regretting her last comment of 'shnuckums'. Booth spoke, confused. 'I call her Bones because she is the Bone lady. Forensic Anthropologist.' Counsellor Troi stepped onto the bridge. 'Captain, I have sensed several unidentified lifeforms in the city. Seven are Raxacoriophallapatorian and one is human. They are currently in a tall building on Edgware Road. The Flancrest Building, i think.'

Lady keto sat in her office catching up with her paperwork. As she finished the inbox, a Romulan engineer came in. 'my lady, the Enterprise is making communications to their time period. We have intercepted a partial message from the Praetor, explaining that General Karor has taken Romulan scouts into federation space. We need to get back to 2435 and assist them.' As he spoke, Commander Riker's away team beamed into the comm centre. 'Geordi, Worf we are looking for the arton crystal. It should be with the chief engineer or Lady Keto. Fan out and set phasers to stun. We may need to ask questions.'

Bart and Captain Picard were in ten-forward when data came in. 'Captain, Chancellor. Commander Riker has begun recovery of the arton crystal. He is also bringing back Lady Keto for questioning. I will return quickly when more information is received.' As data left, Captain Picard's commbadge bleeped. 'riker to Picard, we have recovered the crystal and are returning with ten prisoners. Seven are raxacoraphalapatorian, two are Romulan and one is human. We will beam to transporter room three.' Picard and Bart left for the transporter room. On the way, temperance joined them 'so, this is the future of travel then? I must say Bart, Starfleet knows how to treat its crews. This is much better than the star destroyers. Too angular.'