So i havent written anything in awhile and this idea came to me awhile ago. I dont think i'll have alot of chapters for this. the chapters will be short too. But i hope you all enjoy it. :)
i.
Pretending means making yourself believe you didn't like Rachel Berry at all. Look how well that turn out.
High school sucks. In the movies. There's lots of parties. Cute girls. And just a load of fun. But in reality. No one tells you that you'll be hating High School.
Pretending as become one of your jobs. You pretend to have this amazing relationship with Quinn Fabray. Head Cheerleader. But in reality. Its boring.
You pretend to want to throw eggs at people. To throw people in dumpster. But you don't want. You never did.
And when you join Glee club. And Mr. Shue then quits. You pretend to be relieved. But you're not.
But most of all. When Rachel Berry comes up to you and says that your better than all of them. You pretend you're not. And you don't like her. You do.
ii.
Pretending gets harder. With Quinn yelling. Friends making fun of you. And Rachel acting really cool.
Its hard to pretend to listen to your girlfriend. And ignore your friends. And push away feelings.
Because when your there sitting across from her. Rachel. In an auditorium. On the ground with a picnic blanket. And she saying its ok to want to kiss her. You, for the tiniest moment. You forget. You forget to pretend. And you go for it. You kiss her. And then it happens. And you come back to it. And you leave her there. You leave and you keep pretending.
iii.
Pretending is what's going to save you. Quinn pregnant. And you pretend its ok. That you can forget. About going to college. Getting out of this state. Rachel.
But its hard. And you talk with Mrs. Pillsbury. She saying lots of big word. Success. Scholarships. Maybe things wont be so hard. But to get it all. Ironically. You need Rachel.
You begin to flirt. And you start to pretend you don't actually want to really flirt with her. You ask her out. And you pretend you didn't want to do that without an obligation.
And when your there. Kissing her again. You pretend it isn't real. Its all part of the plan. To success. To a better life.
But Rachel finds out. She's hurt. And she doesn't want you. And while she yelling at you. For a second. You let it slip. The kiss was real. And you stop pretending. But she leaves.
iv.
Time passes. And you learn more about this pretending thing. You figure out that it gets harder to pretend with Rachel Berry around.
Because when you find out about Quinn. And Rachel wants to be your girlfriend. You pretend to not want her. And you break it off. But she sees through it. And she sees through you. She knows the truth.
You're embarrassed. And you don't want your reputation to go down further. But when she walks away sobbing. You forget about pretending. You want her. And you try to go after her. And for awhile you put away the pretending.
But she doesn't want you. She wants Jesse. And you pretend it doesn't hurt that she chose him over you. But it does.
v.
For awhile. You pretend you're not hurt. You're going to get her back. Somehow. So when Santana comes up to you and offers that special something.
That something that you didn't think about doing with anyone else. But Rachel. The girl you're pretending to not fall for. The girl you just like. So you pretend to want her. To want Santana.
You do it. You're not a virgin. You pretend you're weren't nervous. And you try ignoring that emptiness in the pit of your stomach afterwards.
And when Rachel later tells you what she did. You pretend that it didn't break your heart. You pretend that one night with Santana didn't happen. But it did.