Reminiscing

After Zuko saw Toph in the spirit world he stopped having dreams about her. In fact, everything stopped for him then. He can't wake up in the morning or go to sleep at night anymore because he doesn't dream about her anymore. He even fears that he has forgotten her face.

Zuko got up late in the afternoon and ate his breakfast. He was slowly eating when he heard his uncle came in. He sat down next to Zuko. He put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed him.

"Zuko, the elders and I have decided that you are clearly not the same anymore. What is wrong, Zuko?" He gave Zuko a concerned look which made Zuko turn away from him.

"I'm scared uncle," Iroh looked at him strangely. Then released his hold on him.

"I'm scared that I… I might forget… what she used to look like." Zuko sounded so lost that Iroh didn't know what to do. He sighed.

"Zuko, the elders and I think that you need to move on." Zuko shot his head to him. He was torn between shock and anger.

"What do you mean 'move on'!?" He was now pacing back and forth in front Iroh. Iroh took a look at his fuming nephew then moved him to sit down. Zuko was now sitting down and facing him.

"Zuko, we only want the best for you. You are now the fire lord and we need you to be there for us and our nation." Iroh was still looking at him. Zuko sighed.

"I don't know what you mean by 'moving on' uncle." Iroh sighed.

"What we mean is that they want you to forget your troubles and think for the better of our nation." Zuko stood again only to be sat back down when his uncle did so.

"We think that you need to see someone for these kind of troubles." Zuko thought about that for a moment before replying.

"What do you mean by that?" Iroh cleared his throat and began to speak.

"What I mean is that you need to see someone who is spiritual to help you with your problems with Toph." When Zuko heard Toph's name he began to look worried a sweat trickled down his forehead. I roh noticed that and began to worry for Zuko again. Zuko stood then faced his uncle.

"Can I think about it or rest for awhile? I feel tired." Iroh nodded and Zuko left. He headed towards his room before looking outside the window. When he saw the open grassland in their garden her thought about Toph. 'I want to see her. I want to remember her.' Zuko turned around and walked out of the palace and ordered for transport to the Earth kingdom. They obeyed him and did as he asked. He arrived at Toph's place. She was the only one that was there. It was part of her family's fortune that was why she was there. He moved to her grave and sat there, placing flowers there also. He sat at the trunk of the tree, closing his eyes, thinking about the moments with Toph.

He thought about the first time meeting her. That was when they all backed Azula up. He remembered how she just came in and started helping them, no matter who they were. Even though they offered to help him and his uncle he refused them. As he said that he saw the look on her face. It had a hint of sadness and disappointment. He never forgot that look,EVER. The look that she gave him always made him felt that she was expecting… something, something from him, or… what he could have said in that situation.

Then he thought about the time where everyone turned their back on him but she was there to support him, even if it was going against her friends. When he left no one but her came back to check on him. She was the only one that he has remembered to ever care that much about him, aside from his family members that still cared from him. But he was so STUPID! He hurted her! But she didn't even take it as hard as he thought she would. She seemed to be a meaner person that that but he always had that feeling that he was given special treatment. When he hurted her all she said was to take him in so she could get her payback, and that was all it took for him to join the team.

When he taught the Avatar how to firebend and he couldn't produce big flames, she suggested it to be her way and he took her word for it and never regretted. He learned about the past of fire and about how fire was not only hurt, but to protect. When he got back they all teased him about it but she was a bit different than them. She was sincere about it, unlike the waterbenders. He always noticed her signature smirk.

Before he knew it he was invading the Boiling Rock with Sokka. He learned about him, making him a bit closer to him and earning his trust. When they came back he remembered hearing her make a comment about not bringing any meat back. That brought a smile to his face but he was sure that he could not see it. What amazed him by her was that she never let her weakness hold her back from surpassing others and being strong even to calling the Avatar and the rest nicknames, unlike him. He let everything get in his way, but she… she was just so strong. Something out of her traits that he liked about her.

Next he went with Katara to find out about her mother. She blood bended the man making him speak. After that he also earned her trust too, therefore making him closer to her as well. But this time when he came back he didn't hear anything from Toph at all. He wondered if she was alright but quickly ignored it, thinking that it was normal.

They went to go see the play and was stunned that they got the places accurately but angry when they twisted up everything about it. He was grossed out when they had a romantic scene between the waterbender and him but Toph was clearly enjoying the whole show saying that the creator or director or writer was a genius. When her part came up she was so amused by it saying the same thing that she said earlier. It was time for the break so each of the team member had someone to go with so he went and sat down outside of the room with Toph. He complained about how they got his character wrong and then turned sad about how everything that he has done wrong was thrown back into his face. She told him that he still has his uncle that still cared for him and that even if he doesn't feel like it, he was forgiven by his uncle and that he cared a lot for him dearly. He smiled at that, glad that someone trusted him. After she said that she hit him on the arm saying that it was how she showed affection. He rubbed his arm then went back inside and enjoyed the show. ALMOST, enjoy the show.

When Aang went missing she had personally volunteered to go with him making him blush and stunned at her directness and courage to take action on that. She said that she also wanted a life changing field trip too. They started walking as she told him about her problems, hoping that he would listen and that he would be able to clear them up. He should have listened to her and answered her back instead of pushing her away. As he pushed her away saying that they couldn't get off track, he heard her say that this was her worst field trip ever. That made him feel guilty and even flinched a little as he heard them. He was kind of sad that she, the person that had always trusted him and given him a chance, was the one he couldn't get near to.

He had remembered at how he asked Katara to help him defeat his sister. As they parted ways she didn't say anything, just concentrating on her task, something that he couldn't do then. He remembered them all as the last time he has saw her.

He opened his eyes now filled with tears. He wiped them away. Then he noticed. He noticed at how simple she made it for him. She had always given him a chance. She always made it visible but… he was stupid. He didn't see them all. She stood up for him, ran after him, guided him, teased him, humored him, ignored him, showed him affection, showed him eagerness, trust, sadness, disappointment, and most of all emptiness. 'She was always trying… trying for me.' He had tears in his eyes again as he figured it all out. He stood, looking at the sky. It was getting dark and cloudy so he decided to go home. He gave one last glance at Toph's grave before leaving.

He was all drenched in rain as he walked into the palace. He didn't bother to try and dry himself as he walked up to Iroh. He raised an eyebrow at the drenched Zuko. He rose from his seat and gave Zuko a blanket of his then gave him some warm tea.

"Zuko, what happened?" Iroh was trying to be calm but he really wasn't. Zuko glanced at Iroh then drank one more sip of tea.

"I love her."