He opened his eyes, but there was nothing there. For a seconf he had been scared someone had taken a dump on his head, but he was just paranoid from the marijuana. He looked around, and still, no crap!! Maybe he was nuts, who knows.
As he was getting dressed, he began to feel queasy. That smell was awful!! Just as he pulled on his flashers raincoat, Neville burst into the room, smiling, with some very good news for Harry. But, when he came within 5 feet of Potter, his eyes rolled back into his head, and he dropped dead. Harry rushed over to his friend, but he seemed to be disentegrating.
Nervous that he would be blamed for Nevilles un-timely death, he stuffed the body under Rons bed, allowing Ronnie to take all the blame. As soon as the last bit of Neville was safetly out of site, Harry put his hands in his pockets and headed off for the common room.
As he climbed the stairs, people were looking up at him and holding their noses. Afraid that he hadn't put on deodorant, he raced back in and put some on. Yet still, the shit smell still lingered. He next tried his 80 dollar bottle of Tommy Hilfiger cologne, but it still didn't work. It still smelled evil in there.
Giving up, Harry walked back downstairs, but people were still holding their noses and dabbing their eyes because of the smell. He sat down next to Hermione, who was puffing on a joint and chugging cheap beer.
"Hermione, do I smell?" Harry asked. His best friend leaned over and sniffed him.
"You do smell, my dear....."
Harrys heart sank
"Like roses in a lovley Japanese vase, next to a flowing river with cherry blossoms bobbing on the surface...." she said dreamily. Harry glanced at the ground and saw mushroom stems, and knew what she had been doing.
"Oh, all right then." Harry got up and left, confident that he smelled his best.
As he walked in the hallways, people were dropping dead left and right. Friends were crying and screaming over the bodies of their fallen friends. It looked like a scene from Saving Private Ryan.
Phrases rung out like:
"Tommy, Tommy get up!! You know you can do it man, you'll be ok!!"
"Oh Stanley, I'm not goin' home"
"Don't talk like that Bob, of course you are. That big train is waiting for you."
"Tell Mama that I.....that I...."
"BOB!!!! NOOOOOOO!!"
Harry thought some epidemic was going on, so he pulled his robes up over his nose and mouth, in order to not breathe in any germs.
Today, first he had Charms. He loathed Charms, so he decided to go have a smoke behind Hagrids hut.
Harry took a long puff, and exhaled. As he did, he heard a noise coming from the Forbidden Forest. He ducked behind the giant ash tray that was filled with stoge butts, and went to see who it was.
It was Snape, with his boyfriend, Bruce. The 2 were holding hands and looked rather disheveled
"Oh, Snapie honey, after that banging, I won't be able to sit down for a week." Snapes boy-toy remarked.
Harry shuddered as he saw Snape smile a self-satisified smile. Suddenly, Snapes wide smile turned to a look of repulsion.
"He's here...." Snape said out loud.
"Who, darling?" The swishy fag asked his boyfriend.
"Potter, I can smell his fucking stink"
"Now, nown, there's no need for language..." But he was cut off as Snape took off running in Harrys direction, with Bruce screaming that he had broken a nail.
"Potter, where are you?? I can smell your filthy stink..." Snape muttered to himself.
Harry closed his eyes as Snape moved closer to him, waiting for his doom.......
Authors Note: Heh heh, I said I would take advantage of the gay trend going on. Oh yeah, and here is a link to my kick ass fan site: