Hello my fellow followers!
First of all, thanks to everyone for your kind reviews! I honestly don't deserve them.
Now, I have to let you know this story is probably the most out of character I've written so far, especially when it comes to Callen, but I like how it turned out.
You've been warned! :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing, unfortunately.
Love and Names
They go to the address Hetty gave them as soon as they can. The place is like a big storehouse.
As they keep walking through the space, Callen in the middle and Kensi and Sam covering his sides, the lights are turning on in front of them. Finally they hit the end of the line and face themselves with an ample space with computers in the middle. The rest is covered with shelves, those shelves being filled with files. Callen and Sam head to the files and Kensi stayed next to the computer, trying to figure out the password.
She hears them talking about a file with G's name on it and she gets curious, but then something changes on the computer's screen. It was a timer. Timers are never a good thing.
"Guys," she called "you're gonna want to see this."
The two men reached her.
"'File burn'. It must be automatically erasing the hard drives."
"It's not gonna affect the hardcopy files." Callen says, thinking about another thing "Unless…"
"We've got to get out of here. Now." Sam says, then he turns to Kensi. "Move!"
"Oh, that kind of burn." she says, surprised. She grabs a few more things.
"G, come on!"
They run to the exit, and the place was blowing up already.
Once they were out, Kensi talked to a cop and Callen and Sam were leaning against a car. After she talks to the cop, she approaches the boys.
"After you powered up, what did you press?" asks Callen.
"Nothing." she answered, looking into his eyes, hurt. "I didn't even touch the keyboard. Maybe we triggered motion detectors." Callen just looks away.
"I didn't see them. And I was looking." said Sam, not helping at all.
She tries to figure out another possibility.
"Okay… A timer. If Keelson's not back for a certain time… boom!"
"If he's stuck in traffic." Callen replies, sarcastically.
"Cell phone. Dials up, punches in the code, deactivate…" she never finished, because Callen left, not caring about what she was saying. She turns to Sam, frustrated "I didn't do anything!"
She leans against the car and Sam goes next to Callen.
"If you could turn it off with a cell phone, you could turn it on." he says to Callen. "Maybe Keelson isn't the lone wolf we thought he was."
Callen looks in Kensi's direction and they lock eyes for a second, before she turns her head the other way. Her eyes can't hide the hurt she's feeling and he can't help but feel guilty.
-X-X-X-X-
At the bullpen, the boys are briefing Hetty while Kensi tries to make up for something she didn't even have anything to do. But if that's what Callen wants, she'll give.
Moments later she finds something and rushes to him. She gives all the information she got, then she hesitantly asks.
"Are we good?" the question has a second meaning that only they know and she wants him to answer both.
"Yeah." he says, with no emotion. "Yeah, I'm sorry."
She nods and steps away. Tonight it's gonna be her, alone with crappy TV shows, tears and some dishes. Not necessarily in that order.
-X-X-X-X-
Callen's in the headquarters, trying to sleep on the uncomfortable couch. Even sleeping on Kensi's couch, with her, wasn't that uncomfortable.
Kensi.
He really wants to know his origins, but does it really worth it if she's not there with him?
He knows he was unfair with her. Even if she had touched something at the storehouse, she would never do that on purpose. And he knows she doesn't lie when the thing is serious.
Yeah, he was being unreasonable and unfair and that's why he can't face her. He can't look into her eyes and see the damage he already caused with nothing but cold, mean words.
So, G Callen forces himself not to think about how the beautiful brunette snuggled in his arms feels so good.
-X-X-X-X-
Kensi is lying in her bed, curled with her knees almost touching her chest. She had fallen asleep and now there were only stains of dry tears across her face.
Suddenly, she feels something stroking one of her cheeks. She's alert now. Her eyes flung open and she sees a silhouette above her. Quickly, she grabs the intruder's arm and manages to pull him down, onto the bed, with his face down. Then she holds the guy's arm behind his back and presses a knee on it.
"Kenz! Kenz! It's me!" hearing the familiar voice she releases him.
"Oh my God, G! I'm so sorry. It's just instinctive."
She turns on the lights and sees him sitting in the bed and rubbing his arm.
"I'm really sorry."
"It's okay. I shouldn't have sneaked in."
"Yeah, that… How did you get in here?"
"Well, you don't have quite the security system, do you?" he mocks her, smiling.
"I am my own security system, mister." she smiles at him.
They stare at each other for a long moment. Then all she can feel is his lips against hers. She also feels his tongue gently caressing her bottom lip, begging for entrance that she gladly grants.
They both break apart for air.
"I'm sorry Kenz. I'm so sorry. I was such a jerk to you, that I'm actually surprised you didn't kick me out already."
"I would never do that. And it's okay. I know you were upset."
"Still, it's not an excuse. I shouldn't have doubted you."
"Yes, you shouldn't. But it's okay. Really, G."
"Hetty doesn't want me on the case" he blurts out.
She looks at him.
"I imagined she would do that. But I don't approve!" she added quickly, when he glares at her "If I was in your situation, I would like to be involved."
Callen nods and pulls her into his grip, breathing her scent.
"What was that for?" she asks, surprised.
"I'm glad I have you. I'm the luckiest bastard alive."
She gives him a smile.
"I'm glad I have you too, G."
He holds her face between his hands and kisses her lovingly. Then, he looks into her eyes, still cupping her face and stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, and says, barely louder than a whisper.
"I love you, Kensi Blye."
-X-X-X-X-
The next day is intense. Callen finds out he had a sister and that his mother may still be alive. Even for him, it's a lot to take in only a few hours.
He is already at her house, in the couch of the living room, when she arrives. She gets in the apartment, hangs her jacket behind the door and heads to the fridge to grab something to bite. She grabs a yogurt and checking the expiration date, she goes to the living room, still unaware of Callen's presence at the house.
"Hey, Kenz." he greets.
She instantly searches for her gun, dropping the yogurt, but then her brain recognizes his voice. She glares at him, while picking the yogurt from the floor.
"Jesus Christ, Callen! I almost had a heart attack! Why do you keep sneaking in my place? Someday, I will accidentally shoot you. Why don't you ask me for a key?"
He takes the opportunity to tease her.
"Do you want me to have a key?"
She grunts something understandable to his ears. Probably something in Portuguese.
"Just move that ass and cocky smirk of yours a little, so I can sit and enjoy my meal."
He laughs and does what he's told.
They stand there in silence for a long time. He puts an arm around her shoulders and when she finishes her drink, she leans her head into his shoulder.
"What's wrong, G?"
He looks down at her, but she doesn't meet his eyes. He knows why she's asking that. They did make up the night before and he even told her he loves her. But she didn't say it back. He never thought he could care so much about that, but he does. And then, the day at work was insane and they barely worked together. They even looked, at other's eyes, quite apart from each other.
"Just a lot in my mind right now. Nothing to worry about."
But he's scared.
G Callen is scared. Not because of some terrorist, pointing a gun at him, but because Kensi didn't say 'I love you too'. He's afraid she doesn't feel the same. And he feels pathetic to think that.
"Is it because of all the things you discovered about yourself?" she lifts her head up so she can see him.
"Yes."
He's not lying. Sure, the first motive why he's upset is, surprisingly, the 'I love you' thing, but in his mind, that's all related. He thinks that maybe the reason why she doesn't completely open her heart, is because she knows so little about him. And he can't blame her.
"Do you want to drink something?" she asks, breaking the silence. He nods, still thinking.
Kensi leaves him with his thoughts to get him a beer. When she returns, she finds him standing up in the middle of the living room.
"I love you, Kenz." she feels her stomach filling with crazy butterflies, like she did the night before, but once again she doesn't reply.
Watching her hesitate, he feels his heart sinking.
"Do you love me, Kensi?" she doesn't answer and he's becoming desperate. "Is it because you don't know anything about me? Is it because I don't even have a first name?"
"What?" she asks confused.
"The reason why you don't love me." he's speaking calmly "I won't be mad at you and nothing will change if those are the motives."
"First of all, I never said I don't love you. And, are you out of your mind, G Callen? Do you really think those things are valid reasons of why I wouldn't love you?"
"I don't know."
"Well, you should. Because you know me long enough to answer that."
"Look, I really won't blame you if those are the reasons. I don't even have a name."
"Stop it!" she's angry "You have a name. You're G Callen."
"G isn't a name. It's a letter." he snorted.
"I don't care. When we find out your real first name and it turns out to be George, or Gerard, or Greg, or Grace, or whatever, do you think I'll be calling you that?" she pauses, waiting for an answer. "No, Callen! You'll always be G to me. Besides, a name is just a name. It doesn't define who you are. So, that's not a valid reason for me not to love you. And if I don't care what your first name is, then I'm pretty sure I don't care about what we don't know about you and your past, either."
She calms down, so he takes the beer she's still holding from her hand and puts it on the table. Next he holds her hands and speaks softly.
"I love you, Kensi." he repeats and he sees her shiver but she remains silent. He releases her hands and asks desperately "Is that so hard for you to say it back? I mean, I'm pretty sure you feel the same and… and I'm G Callen and I've already said it, more than once! Why can't you? Aren't you sure, is that it?"
"Why are you making such a big deal from this?"
"Because I want to start thinking about the future, our future, together."
She looks him in the eye, sadness in hers.
"Fine, do you want to know why I don't say 'I love you'? Because it's bad luck, that's why. The only two persons I've said those words to, ended up disappearing from my life. And I don't want you to go too."
Callen reaches for her hands again and pulls her to the couch with him. They keep silent, she's leaned against his chest and he's stroking her hair, gently.
"The first one was my father and you already know the story." she begins to talk "The other was the only serious boyfriend I've ever had, aside from you, of course. Right before they left I told them those three words and they never came back. Not alive, I mean"
"It's okay, Kenz. I'm sorry for everything I said. I had no idea."
"No problem."
They stand there for a moment, without saying a word until Callen breaks the silence.
"Hey, wait a minute…" she lifts her head, a little worried and confused "did you just called me your boyfriend in that little speech of yours?"
He's smiling like an idiot and she can't help but to smile too, happily.
Callen pulls her for a kiss. Just a sweet peck on the lips.
"I will never leave you, Kenz. I promise. I'm not going anywhere."
And he kisses her again, more passionate this time.
They break from the kiss and she leans her head again against his chest. She feels so safe in his arms.
"I'm going to cook us something. Do you have any preference?" he asks.
Before she can stop herself, she blurts out.
"I love you, G Callen."
His smile grows wider and he captures her lips in the most loving kiss they have shared so far, with no more fear in their hearts.
"I love you too, Kensi."
How was it? Terrible? Fine?
Let me know!
SLopez