Far Too Long
17 months….no, longer than that. How long had it been? How was it possible for time to travel so slowly? The hours seemed like days, the weeks like years as time ticked by without her. Who would have known that one person's absence could trigger such an effect, such an overwhelming sense of loss, a surge of emotions he hadn't felt since he lost his mother, and even this couldn't compare to what he felt when he lost her, for what he was certain was forever. He refused to show it on the outside, remaining his cool detached self around his friends and family. They all suspected that her loss had affected him more than he let on, but they let him cope on his own, not saying a word about the sudden departure about the girl who had changed his world in a matter of minutes. As cool as he played it on the outside, his insides were an emotional tornado, nagging him and aching him every day. He didn't realize what he had, what he missed, what she was to him until that final moment they said their goodbyes as he watched her fade away, the doors shutting not only on her, but on them.
When he was absolutely sure no one was around, sure that he was alone, alone to think, to feel, to let it out…he would slowly, painfully shed a few tears as he remembered the things they had done together, the moments they had shared. Of course this only lasted for a while after she left. After a few months he began to realize she was never coming back, that he was never going to see her deep amethyst eyes, her warm, soft smile that could make the saddest of people feel hope again, or her raven black hair that reflected the light in such a perfect manner that the sun's rays glistened off of it, highlighting her pale skin and her petite figure as though she were a goddess. She complimented him perfectly. Tall to short, cute to rough, cunning to rash, for all they differed they were the same. They both fought with their hearts, did what they thought was right despite what the rules said. They could both take down the fiercest of opponents, bring each other out of their funks, and they bickered like no other, never letting the other win until they were completely sure they had been defeated, and only then respectfully giving in to the others view. They nagged each other about their quirks, and comforted each other when they were feeling down. The way he saw it, he wasn't himself if she wasn't there.
She completed him; there was no way around that.
However he also knew that there was no way around the fact that she was gone, living her life in the soul society, fighting hollows, completing paperwork, and probably forgetting all about the orange haired human living on earth, seeing him as a small chapter in her extremely long life.
Now that he thought about it, she had claimed to live 10 of his life times, which would easily make her somewhere between 120 and 150 years old when they met. They were together for all of six months before she left him. That time span doesn't mean much to humans, let alone someone who has already been dead for over a hundred years. Six months that had been engraved into his heart for eternity as she was more than likely meeting new people, possibly developing relationships with them. He was convinced she had moved on, and decided he needed to as well.
So he moved on. He stopped thinking about her all together, pushing her out of his thoughts, clearing the futons out of his closet where she used to sleep, returning the pajamas she used to wear to his little sister, claiming that he found them behind the washing machine. He filled the closet with his clothes to make sure that he wouldn't ever wonder if she was in there. However, there was one thing he couldn't bring himself to get rid of. Every time he tried to rid himself of them, he stopped short of the garbage, trembling as he thought of getting rid of the last ties he held with her.
Those god damned terrible chappy drawings.
They were terrible, crude depictions of the rabbit, or of people in rabbit form. He always made fun of her for them, which would usually lead to a smack in the head or a kick to the shin. However as hard as he tried, he could never bring himself to throw them out. Instead he hid them in a folder, sealing it deep in the crevices of his closet along with the mound of clothes that would probably never be touched again. He shut the closet, and vowed not to look back.
As time went on he became more detached from her, she entered his thoughts less and less, and the sweet smell of strawberry shampoo that filled the bathroom after his sisters used it no longer made him think of her, just of the fact that his sisters had recently taken a bath. The sound of his sister and father arguing no longer made him think of his arguments with her, only of his stupid family. He no longer questioned her absence amongst his friends, and when she was brought up amongst them, would simply deny caring for her anymore and leave, not wanting to bring back the thoughts and feelings he worked so hard to eliminate.
However he somehow felt empty. He always felt like something was missing. He tried filling the gap, went on a few dates with girls he met, girls he was set up with, and even took a part time job. However he never felt the connection with those women he went on dates with, and as much as he hated to admit it, his boss was just like her. Those women never had the spark she did, never made him feel like he did when she was with him, and never made him smile like she could. Her ignorance of the simplest things, her fascination with cute fuzzy animals, and her insecurities coupled with her confidence, her simple pleasures taken from sweets and colors. She was adorable in every fashion, and was the only one able to make him smile so warmly, so genuinely. He no longer smiled like that. The pure happiness was missing from his smiles, they were now fake, emotionless and feigned.
To be honest, he did not really smile much anymore.
So imagine his surprise when he discovers that he may be able to see her again. A stranger who knows all about him offering him a way to get his powers back. Does he pass up this opportunity? He finally has the normal life he has desired since he was a child. He can finally do all the things a normal high school senior does. However, getting his powers back would mean that he could protect everyone again, and more importantly….
He may be able to see her again.
He took the opportunity, pouring his heart and soul into his training. He worked and worked and finally mastered his fullbring, one step closer to becoming a shinigami once again. There were only a few more steps, and he would be able to see her bright smile once again.
He should have seen it coming.
He was blindsided, taken aback as he was betrayed by the people he had come to trust, his power taken from him, his friends and family turned on him, his new enemy standing before him with all of his power.
He felt hopeless.
True despair…how appropriate that once again the rain was falling, not only from the sky, but from himself as well.
He should have known….. that the white sun will always dry up the tears of the black moon.
The familiar sensation, the warmth, the power, the feeling he had come to love over the last 23 months, they all came rushing back to him in an instant as he turned around and found the most beautiful pair of eyes in the world smiling at him.
She came back. She came back for him.
His heart instantly filled with the emotions he swore he had rid himself of. In an instant the feelings he had felt for the petite shinigami had returned, all with a simple smile, and the gesture which had started it all 23 months ago.
Aside from a new hairstyle and a shiny lieutenant's badge on her left arm, she had not changed a bit.
And now he can smile again.
After the enemy's were dispatched and after playing catch up with his old shinigami friends, he knew he had one more thing to do, one more person to patch things up with, to rekindle their previous relationship. However that could wait until morning. He set down the manga he was reading and turned his head towards the closet. A mound of clothes littered the floor, cleared out to make room for the sleeping raven haired shinigami who was laying in it. Her chest slowly moved as she clutched the blanket he had given her to stay warm. Her eyes were gently shut, her complete trust for the man she was staying with clearly written across her gentle face.
A smile he had not smiled in over 17 months finally crept across his face.
She had returned to him.
He slowly stood and walked over to the other side of the room, rolling the computer chair over to the side of the closet. Sitting on the chair he rests his arm on the side of the futon and placed his head on it, smiling as he watched her sleep.
"Are you awake?" he gently whispered to her, hesitantly taking his hand to her hair before he gently began stroking it. He heard a soft giggle as the amethyst eyes he had fallen in love with opened slightly, a smile grazing her face.
"How can I sleep with your ugly face this close to me" she chuckled, finding warmth in his soft brown eyes and comfort in the hand placed on her head. "No I'm not. I haven't slept very well tonight, and I'm guessing you haven't either" she yawned, slightly nuzzling into the hand that was still stroking her hair.
"Well….if you think I missed you you're crazier than I thought!" he looked away defiantly. She smirked though as she realized that his hand hadn't stopped, and the smirk grew when she noticed the hint of red plastered across his cheeks.
"You know Ichigo…." She sighed as she grabbed the hand playing with her hair and gently held it against her cheek, "it doesn't make you any less of a man to miss someone when they're gone….but if you think I missed you you're missing a few bolts in your head!" His eyes popped open as he looked at her defiant yet gentle look, almost taunting him as though she knew exactly what he was thinking.
"Ru…." He started before she interrupted him.
"I'm thirsty" she giggled. "Let's go downstairs." She jumped up and hopped over him, basically disregarding his existence leaving him dumbfounded sitting in his computer chair with a look of stupid plastered across his face. "Come on bozo we don't have all night!" she scolded him, giggling as she hopped down the stairs in an elegant way only she could have mastered. He stood and followed her, trying to be quite to avoid waking his sisters and found her mid gulp of a glass of water. She set down her glass and looked at him, a goofy grin on her face before sighing and looking outside.
"Nii-sama says that I resemble the moon, clean, pure, innocent, and full of hope and power. However he says that the moon is always lonely since earth only has one, and that it is always looking for someone to join it in its lonely orbit."
"Ru….."
"He says that one day my knight will come discover me and take me away. I'll desert my post, my home, everything I know to be with him….. A man who misses me when I'm gone" she smirked as she gently turned her gaze back to him.
She was always good at that, putting him in hot water, unsure what to say. But he knew he had to say it. It was now or never. The feelings that rushed back needed to be let out before they exploded into a million pieces and stained the carpet…
"Rukia…" he shoved his hand over her mouth in order to prevent the interruption he knew she was gonna throw out. "I missed you…" he finally spat out, releasing all of his emotions in this one speech, which knowing her brother could very well make it his last. "I missed you every day after you left. It was unbearable! I cried, I tried to forget about you just to make my life easier! But I couldn't! Those stupid drawing you made, I kept every single one of them! As hard as I tried I could not forget you, I couldn't erase you from my existence! We knew each other for 6 months, but those 6 months with you meant more than the other 17 years of my life ever have! You always stop the rain from falling, you always put a smile on my face….I missed you Rukia….. a lot." He was panting, completely out of things to say and thoughts to think, having poured his heart out in that speech. Her face hadn't changed the entire time he was talking. His heart was racing, what did she think? Would she leave him again? Would she reject the way he felt? "Don't you have anything to
"Idiot" she smirked, a single tear running down her face. "You lost the drawing I made of Chappy Panda" she giggled as she ran into him. He reflexively caught her and she wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace, and he quickly returned the favor. "But I guess I can forgive you this one time…."
"Why did I leave them in the closet" he sighed to himself, in sighting a giggle from the petite shinigami.
"I missed you too Ichigo…"
"Rukia…. I lo"
"You don't have to say it idiot, I know you do" she giggled.
"Do you lo…."
"Well. Considering I'm the only one who stayed in the world of the living…and the fact that Byakuya said he would approve of you as my "knight", I would say yes…."
"WILL YOU LET ME TALK TODAY!"
Yes, with a few added perks….life was finally back to normal…..
