No Tears For Miss Trepe
I'm dying. My whole body can feel it, but it's my heart that aches the most. To forever be separated from the ones you love is the greatest pain a living creature can feel. What I would give for another day among those I love and care about. One more change to let them know how I feel. To let you know…
- I never did say I love you and now you will never know. The few moments we shared flicks before my eyes. The talk at the graduation ball, you didn't quite seem to understand what I was talking about, but deep down inside I'm sure you knew all along. Or is it too much to hope for and expect from a person? Even you. All I know is that is my comfort in this moment when my soul is about to be released from my body. All the time I've spent wanting you, thinking about you, dreaming about you… It feels like a waste right now, but in the end I'm sure something good will come out of it. I believe you made me a better person although I have no proof or words for it, you made me feel special in a way. You made be able to treasure a plain, simple day just because I knew you were around, and if I was lucky, you might say something to me. Something special, like if we had a secret. And you gave me hope. Hope to be brave, hope to get through the day and be able to face another. But you also gave me hope in a different way. The hope that every girl who is in hopelessly love with someone has, the hope that today would be the day. The day you would tell me your undying love for me. Don't worry about that now. That you were my friend was enough.
Another thing you gave me was dreams. Dreams I never would dare to dream if it wasn't for you. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you. For giving me all the qualities that I believe is important in a human being. And my last wish… that you somehow will feel the love I have for you, and that you someday will find someone who love you enough to give you that love… for the rest of your life. The pain… it's getting unbearable now. I don't want to leave. Not yet. There is still so much for me to do… so much for me to feel. But I am a warrior, and I know when my time has come. And I will face it like a warrior, like a fighter and hope you will remember me as one. A fighter. But that's not all I wanted to be. I also wanted to be Quistis. I also want to be remembered for being me. But who really cared about me? I was always the blonde, shy girl. Always too scared to make friends, but I wish you… all of you will remember me as a human who lived her life as best as she could. I really did. I lived the only way I knew. I may had a passionless life, but nevertheless, I will die with the knowledge that I lived a life filled with love. Love for who I am, and love for my friends. And isn't that all that matters? So when I go, I will know that every single tear wept for me, is a sign of love. And then I will know, my love for you wasn't in vain.
It's over. The world will go on, but for me… This is the end. Farewell, my friends… until we meet again.
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Squall walked up to the podium and looked out over the sea of people that wished to take a final goodbye with Quistis. It felt like his voice had died, but he had to do this. For Quistis. His beloved Quistis who right now was lying in a glass coffin, dressed in white silk. She was beautiful, even in death, she looked beautiful.
He turned to the sea again. A sea that now had thousands of tears blinking in it eyes. He couldn't tell the people apart. One face blended in with another, but he saw the tears. Tears that shouldn't have been shared. Not yet. Not so soon. He tried to say something, but his voice was gone. He wanted to go back into the sea, to share his own tears with it. To just become another pearl who wept for it's friend. But he couldn't. He didn't belong there. He had to carry his pain alone. And although he knew it would hurt less with time, it would never pass completely. Now he couldn't even see the sea anymore. All he saw was thousands of starts shinning so bright, and there, in the middle of all the shinning star, he saw Quistis' angelic face. She smiled at him, miming the word 'farewell'. And he knew the time had come, for the angel to rest, for the sorrow to increase for then to become easier to bear for each day. It was time… to say goodbye.
"Friends, we are gathered here today to take farewell with a very special woman. She was truly special in every way. Her kindness, her compassion, her beauty will all be greatly missed and I know, that everyone who knew her like I, will always miss her voice telling me it's going to be alright. In the end, all you have is your love for other people and yourself. Quistis knew that and I can't think of a time when she didn't try to make the world a better place, simply with her own love. I could stand here today and tell her how so sorry I am for all the times I didn't listen to her, didn't try to understand her, but I also know she would have hated that. And I will not… stand here and lie about her. It's strange, but when a person dies, all we can think of is how wonderful that person was. I never promised her I wouldn't do that, but I promise right now. Quistis will not be forgotten. Not by me, not by anyone who's here today. But most importantly, she will be remembered for who she was. And to me… She will be remembered as one of my best friends. And that takes a lot, considering I don't believe in friendship. No, I didn't believe in friendship. I do now. And that's just one of the reasons I'm here, I want to thank you. For everything you've done for me. For everything you taught me. You taught me to care about other people and I can't thank you enough for that cause if you hadn't I would have spent my life walking around like an empty shell. You loved me enough to give so much of yourself and although I can't repay you, I want you to know you'll have my love… always. My friend, you once said; 'But who will cry over me?' Quistis, I'm here to tell you, there will be tears for Miss Trepe."
And as he looked into the sea again, he knew that even the angels would cry over this blonde beauty who didn't belong here on earth. Who didn't belong… with him.
The End
A/N: Just a quick note to give credit for the song that inspired the title. 'No Holly For Miss Quinn' by Enya quickly became 'No Tears For Miss Trepe' and with that title you just can't help but writing something really sad.