Unconditional

Inspired by DragonShadow's Conditions of Love

Figuring out love can be a hard thing. Sometimes the heart lies. Sometimes the mind does. To find the right person, you've got to see through it all.

Forward:

I'm not entirely sure why I felt inspired to write this. However, Conditions of Love (by DragonShadow) was certainly where it started.

Regarding the relationship of this fic and CoL, DragonShadow is in no way affiliated with this fic, and each fic is completely separate from the other. DragonShadow was not involved in my writings, and I borrowed from his without his knowledge or consent. I did, however, ask his consent before actually sharing this with anyone.

Unconditional is part homage and part extension. CoL took a situation I'd imagine only third-rate lemons would consider and made it actually believable in its own way, with a little imagination. I could imagine that scenario actually playing out in the right circumstances. Unconditional is an attempt to examine one possible set of such circumstances.

I don't consider Unconditional a replacement of CoL; they each fill different roles. CoL is a short story, essentially skipping to the climax and doing so well. Unconditional, as you have noticed, is closer to a novel than a short story. It is not necessary to read either to appreciate the other.

This is a long fic, but the topic is rather delicate and hardly simple. On that note, I'm in no way promoting relationships like these. Still, I don't think it is unfathomable. The world is very large, and rest assured that when it comes to people nearly anything imaginable has actually happened at some point. All the same, if you're not interested in reading this, fine. If you insist it is impossible, you're welcome to that. I did not write this with the expectation everyone would enjoy it, and if you don't, I'm sorry to have wasted your time.

I will admit that this fic skirts around a lot of the normal, day-to-day activities of the girls, such as crime fighting, patrols, and such. Such things should be assumed to take place with their normal regularity (whatever that is) and are referenced from time to time, but going into any great detail would detract from the primary story (and make this monster even longer).

The main focus is on Buttercup, with the occasional chapter focusing on someone else for sake of perspective. The sequel, Unconventional, invests time with a mix of characters, though Blossom and Professor Utonium make up for the spotlight lost here.

DragonShadow's Conditions of Love was supposed to be a one-shot story. At one point I wasn't certain about Unconditional, but when I came back to re-read and make corrections, I still felt compelled to explore the aftermath, which I believed could be at least as interesting. Unconventional is the result, and if you find you enjoy Unconditional I recommend you continue the tale there.

Chapter 1

Night had fallen. The Utonium residence was bathed in the silvery light of the moon, eerily bright on this cloudless summer night. The rose bushes in front were hazy and ethereal. In the backyard sat a swing set, disused and forgotten, and in that bewitching light even looking to be the memory it was.

Childhood had passed. As the years moved by the Utonium girls had gradually put aside childish concerns as ever-greater responsibility had been set upon their shoulders. Other matters filled their minds as they prepared to enter their senior year of high school. In less than a month they would celebrate their eighteenth birthday, the end of their thirteenth year of life. Tomorrow, however, would begin their last year of high school. One of them, at least, dreaded tomorrow.

Buttercup rolled onto her side and stared at her alarm clock. The harsh red digits glared back at her, informing her in an almost accusatory fashion that it was 2:13.

The numbers grew blurry briefly before Buttercup brushed her eyes to clear the forming tears.

She rolled onto her back again and stared at the ceiling. She needed to sleep. She desperately needed to sleep, and not just for sake of school or to be rested. She wanted her mind to be at ease again.

Buttercup tried and repeatedly failed to clear her mind. Every time it strayed, she silently reprimanded herself. Eventually another tear rolled down, tickling her as it rolled to her temple.

She turned her head to check the time again. Now 2:47, she was no closer to precious emptiness.

The realization just frustrated her more, and the tears flowed in force until she checked them. She hated tears. She hated to cry. It always embarrassed her; made her feel weak. It was little consolation that these tears came in the privacy of her bedroom, but they would have shamed her to no end if someone else had seen them.

Almost anyone else, she admitted. This summer had been very special for her. She found someone who she could share her feelings with and cry in front of without feeling that shame. Someone who understood and loved her unconditionally. There was someone Buttercup could trust and love without ever worrying about whether that love was returned.

Still Buttercup was not convinced that her current dilemma could be shared so freely and be so well received. Part of her hoped and wished and knew it would be, but she was still so afraid, even if at least part of it could be understood. Buttercup wasn't used to being unable to act, and the frustration of doing nothing when she felt like she should do something was overwhelming.

After a quick sniffle to clear her nose, Buttercup swung her legs off the side and sat up. She looked around her room, taking in the moon-bathed sights. Her desk--cluttered with nail polish and comic books, covered by a handful of unwashed sports bras. Bubbles often teased her for her slovenliness. Among those comics were some Japanese manga she'd recently acquired. Bubbles had read some with one of her friends last year and had recommended the series to Buttercup. They were fairly brutal and depressing. With her joyful, loving nature it was hard to imagine that she had a side that could enjoy these.

Buttercup shook her head and continued to look around the room. On her door, a stuffed monkey hung from a coat hook. A gift from Bubbles.

Then to her closet, one of its mirrored sliding doors open. She spotted the dark green formal dress she'd worn only once, when she and her sisters attended a diplomatic function the summer before last. It had been, as Buttercup knew it would be, an exceptionally boring and drawn out event. In fact, her best memories of it were her and Bubbles surreptitiously flinging olives at each other until Blossom scolded them.

Bubbles, seemingly omnilingual, spoke with the pretty daughter of one of the Chinese dignitaries. Buttercup felt left out and asked Bubbles what they were talking and laughing about. Bubbles claimed she was trying to hook Buttercup up with the young Chinese woman.

Was that the seed? Buttercup wondered.

Sure, Bubbles had been teasing. She would later tell Buttercup so, but at first Bubbles pretended to act as a translator for the hypothetical couple. Buttercup didn't know what Bubbles had told the petite foreigner, but Bubbles certainly had fun with her sister's shocked and frightened denials. Bubbles almost burst out laughing while Buttercup tried desperately to tell the girl that she wasn't interested and drew angry looks from nearby people at the table.

After the meal ended and the people at the table scattered, Bubbles took Buttercup aside and apologized. "But--and please don't take this the wrong way--but... Well, I'm not saying I think you're a lesbian or anything, but I just can't picture you being with a guy and being happy. You're such a take charge type, but I know you'd never put up with a pushover." She winked and smiled. "Of course, I don't think you'd look good with another brunette at your side, either."

Then Bubbles left away to mingle with the people of the other nations. She'd turned her speech into something playful and unimportant, and Buttercup just shook her head and laughed before spending the rest of the evening alone on the balcony, praying some stupid villain or another would crash the party and give her something to do.

Back in her room again, Buttercup shook her head more violently, growling quietly as she did so. She shot a glare at her clock, daring it to tell her it was any later. It was now five past three.

She hung her head and took in a few deep breaths. Eventually she stood up. When she did so, she'd been determined to act. Now that she was standing, it seemed a bad idea again.

Instead she strolled uneasily to the wall beside her desk. Using the powers she'd been born/created with, she peered through that wall into the bedroom adjacent. When they were much younger, she and her sisters shared that room. Now Buttercup had what was the guest bedroom. Their father had sacrificed his study downstairs to give Blossom a room. Bubbles was perfectly content to stay put.

Buttercup looked at her sister, now. Her bed was positioned opposite the windows, since she loved being awoken by the sun shining in from their three ovular windows. Now, the moonlight bathed her. She was almost angelic; smiling slightly, totally at peace, and almost glowing in the silvery light.

Buttercup put her hand on her wall, though she saw straight through it as well. Her fingertips drifted down, and when she pulled her hand away and made a fist, she was careful not to damage the wall. Buttercup was too strong to let her feelings get away with her. Even since childhood. The world around her was too fragile.

She was so close. Buttercup imagined she could almost reach out and touch her. All she had to do was walk a few steps down the hallway...

She didn't, though. She couldn't. It just wasn't right. It felt like it couldn't be any more right, more perfect, but she knew it was all wrong. In these last few months Buttercup realized what she'd had all along. Someone she could love without all her heart. Someone who wasn't so fragile.

Buttercup stopped peering through the wall. She turned from it in disgust, feeling physically sick. She turned around, dropped to her knees, and finally began sobbing.

What's wrong with me? How can I be so...disgusting? I love my own damned sister. How could I ever let that happen?

Yet she knew. If anything, she wondered more how it hadn't happened sooner.

This summer had been great, but school beckoned. Bubbles would go back to her friends, her classes, and Buttercup was so afraid that her sister would drift away from her again.

She'd dreaded this for days. But even during what was, in her mind, the final hour, she couldn't bring herself to come forward. She just knew it would ruin everything. Bubbles would see her as the perverted freak of nature she was, and they could never be comfortable together again. As much as she hoped, as much as she wished, there was no way Bubbles would love her back.

Eventually Buttercup returned to bed. Only sheer weariness had the power to claim her now. When it finally did, the clock, stoic and uncaring, beamed 5:11 into the still darkness.